A.N. Big thanks to everyone that reviewed!

If thy doesn't own'th, thou can't sue'th.

I smiled encouragingly, squeezed her shoulder gently, before getting up and making my way from the room to the hospital cafeteria.

BPOV

In a rush, like a calm stream suddenly crashing downwards over the edge of a cliff, feeling flooded through my body. It began at the very top of my head then continued downstream till it reached the tips of my toes. My eyes fluttered open and I groaned as conscious life overwhelmed my body.

The first thing I heard was a low sob. I looked about, trying to find where the noise was coming from. My eyes landed on Carlisle.

His head lay on his arms, one hand held mine. His whole body was trembling with the sobs, shaking the bed.

My heart broke slightly more than it already was. I gently ran my fingers through his soft, golden locks, massaging his scalp.

He froze beneath my touch, contemplated something, then peeked over his arms at me. He gazed at me, shocked.

I gazed back at him, wondering why he was here. I then realized he was just so kind and caring that he blamed himself for my suicide attempt. "Don't cry, Carlisle," I murmured quietly, wanting to tell him it was ok to leave. "You don't have to worry anymore."

I knew he would get what I meant. He seemed shocked by my words and perhaps, if I'm not mistaken, a bit hurt. He suddenly embraced me in his loving embrace and showered my face with sweet kisses.

"Oh, Bella," he murmured between every few kisses.

I was shocked and confused. I was also content and filled with so much love. I loved to be in his arms and loved having him close to me. It wasn't making any sense. I began to cry soundless tears and he pulled back ever-so-slightly.

He was crying also. "I love you so much, my Bella. This was all one big misunderstanding and you're going to be ok, I promise... oh, I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

I started shaking my head back and forth. He was only doing this out of pity and self-blame. He couldn't still love me. "I-I'm sorry, Carlisle. I made you worry and made you feel obligated to stay with me." My voice trembled.

A pained expression entered his beautiful face and my heart broke a bit more. "No... no, Princess, I love you and only you. I could never leave you, love." He paused to breath in a short, broken breath. "I can't even... begin... to explain how sorry I am for making you believe I didn't love you anymore."

I couldn't form a coherent thought, much less any words. I couldn't believe he could just forgive me for allowing that to happen to me. I couldn't even begin to comprehend why he still wanted to be with me even after I had become even further broken. Just to add on top of the pile of long things I've done not to deserve him, I lied to him- I didn't tell him what had happened because I was so very selfish. Another one to add on to the list! I am completely and undeniably selfish. What the hell is wrong with me? I haven't the slightest clue.

My mouth opened, words bubbled on my lips, but they didn't come out. I tried again, "You... still love me?"

"I never stopped. Nothing could make me not love you," he murmured so sincerely. Then, he cupped my face in his loving, gentle hands that have saved so many lives before and he kissed me.

Love flowed from his lips to mine in a jolt of lightning. I was shocked, but his gentleness calmed me and reassured me. I moved my lips with his and interlocked my fingers behind his neck, pulling him closer to me, wanting more of him.

He rested his head against mine after pulling back.

"I'm sorry I made you worry." I pressed my finger to his lips when I saw he was about to argue. "It just... hurt so much when I thought you'd left." I laughed- short, hysterical, and humorless.

He slumped back into his chair, guilt clear on his face, still holding my hand. "Bella, when you told me that..." He paused. "When you told me what he did to you... I was shocked for a moment, then I was angry. Angry at him, Bella- not you." He looked at me, thoughtful. "I was... so angry, I was sure to blow any second there. I didn't want you to be in my 'line of fire', so to speak." He grinned sadly before turning serious again. "I... I knew for certain you would get hurt by my rage... so I had to leave."

A million questions ran through my head, but only one stood out. "What are we going to do now?"

"You," I looked over Carlisle's shoulder to see Dr. Kennedy standing in the doorway. "are going to get better, first of all." He smiled kindly.

Sounds good to me.

He came in and stood beside me- a bit too close for my comfort. "It's good to see you out of that coma, how are you feeling?" Did Carlisle notice the doctor's eyes flash to him?

I resisted the urge to run, even though he is a doctor. I kept the fear from my face and attempted a smile. "Pretty good," I murmured quietly.

He smiled encouragingly. "Good to hear."

My stomach suddenly and without warning growled like an attacking Grizzly bear. I felt my cheeks warm with a blush and felt nervous all of a sudden. I really hoped he wouldn't be mad that I was hungry. Déjà vu crept up on me.

He chuckled. "You must be hungry."

His laugh didn't make me feel any better. "I'm fine," I whispered nervously.

Carlisle gently grasped my shoulder and rubbed it soothingly. "It's alright, I'll get you some fruit," he offered gently, worriedly.

Crap, I was going back to the way I used to be. Déjà vu made itself more prominent. "Yea, fruit," I agreed shamefully.

He smiled at me, squeezed my shoulder, and made his way to the exit.

I watched him leave until he was out the door before turning to Dr. Kennedy. I still felt a small amount of fear, especially now, away from Carlisle, but I forced it away- he was a doctor for crying out loud! "How... how long was I out?" I asked timidly.

He thought a moment. "About a month," he admitted.

My breath left in me in a whoosh like someone had kicked my stomach. "That long?" I asked incredulously.

He nodded. "You had a very bad concussion, Bella- your body needed time to heal."

I wondered idly if I'd ever heal back completely- my heart, that is.

***

Absentmindedly, I trailed the rim of my Diet Coke with the tip of my pointer finger, thinking, as Carlisle watched me. He sat across from me in the eating area at the hospital.

The past few days in this hospital have really got me thinking a lot. Mostly I've been thinking about getting better. I thought about a therapist but it truly frightened me, the thought of telling some stranger my problems. Though that's exactly what I'd done with Carlisle, he was different, I love him and trust him. Well, that's reason enough to get help.

"Carlisle," I spoke up cautiously.

He looked at me curiously, his mouth so full and a lettuce leaf hung out.

I giggled and pretended to wipe something from my mouth, looking pointedly at the leaf. "You got something..." I picked up a napkin and wiped it away for him.

He chuckled. "Thanks, love."

"Now... I've been... thinking," I started, nervously tugging at a hair that had loosened itself from my ponytail. "About... getting help." I looked intently at a freckle on the table.

He was silent for a moment. "Really?" he asked, relief drenching the single word.

I looked up at him to see a humongous smile taking up most of his face- it looked like it hurt. I nodded cautiously, taking in his demeanor.

"That's... that's fantastic, Bella! I even know that perfect person." He truly sounded like he wanted me to get help.

I'm sure I visibly relaxed. I was absolutely sure this would just sound like an admittance to how fucked up I was. Even if it is true, I felt like a coward admitting it. "When can she start?"

(A.N.) Sorry, I know it's kind of short and kind of crappy but I did my best- I swear I did! This was kind of just a filler chapter so the next will be longer and better!

Please review!

Love,

Ms. White Christmas