April 14th, 9am
Amelia held her brothers arm as the pair walked around the deck. Since they had both came on Titanic, they hadn't spent as much time together as Amelia and James would've liked. James was busy with his duties as 6th officers and Amelia was busy spending time with Harry, when he was free, and then the rest of the time was with Jack, Fabrzizo and Tommy.
"It's getting much colder out. Aren't they worried about icebergs?" Amelia had remembered her brother mentioning the warnings about them, coming from all sorts of ships in the area.
"They've gotten plenty of warnings, but don't worry Amelia. Nothing will happen. It's a safe ship." Amelia stopped walking as a few children ran in front of her. As they passed, she smiled at them and they smiled back, before running away.
"You have more patience with children than I do." Amelia looked at her brother out of the corner of his eye. She always had more patience than her brother in a lot of aspects.
"You can't tell me you're not looking forward to becoming a father one day?" They had stopped walking near a bench and James sat down with her. He had smiled briefly and then looked towards the railing and the ocean.
"I am. I never said I wasn't. I just don't have patience for children. I also don't think I'd be able to stay away from the ocean. I would want to be sailing most of the year. It's truly where I feel most at home." Amelia leaned against her brother and rest her head on his shoulder.
"I wish I could share your passion for sailing James. I love the ocean and the beach, I even love being on ships. But the open ocean is what scares me. I wish it didn't, but it really does." Amelia sighed and glanced at him and then looked where he was looking.
There were few people milling about on deck, most probably still eating breakfast or inside where it was a little warmer. There was still a morning chill and if weren't for her brother being busy later, Amelia wouldn't have been outside herself.
"I'm not going to lie Amelia. The open ocean can be a beautiful thing, but it can also be deadly. The waves and the storms a ship can pass through...even a grown man with nerves of steel would lose his resolve." Amelia looked at her brother. He wasn't looking at her but rather out at the ocean, once more.
"You wanted to talk to me about Harry. But you don't know how to bring the subject up." He looked at her and then leaned forward, placed his elbows on his knees.
"You love him." There was no question. He wasn't asking her, he was telling her. Amelia nodded and leaned back against the bench, feeling her nerves start to get to her. She didn't want to talk to James about Harry. She didn't want another lecture.
"He loves you. I know he does. Ami...he's my best friend but...his family is well off. He doesn't care about money but his family owns a business, his father has been pressuring him to take over. Ami..." Amelia didn't need him to finish speaking. She knew what he was going to say.
"James he told me he was being pressured. He told me his father wanted him to take over. I know that. I also know his father probably wouldn't approve of me. Harry and I have already had this discussion. He said he would never take over the business. He said he would continue to sail and that's it." Amelia looked at James. He looked at her quickly and then looked away.
"What kind of life would you have with a sailor? You'd be stuck at home alone with children, raising them by yourself and your husband would be away. You would be lonely. You'd miss him." Amelia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Jesus, James. We love each other but we haven't discussed marriage." She tried to ignore the look James was giving her.
"You migh not have." Amelia felt her heart stop. Was James really saying what she thought he was saying? Had Harry talked to him about marriage?
"James what're you..." Amelia was cut off by James standing, and running his hand over his over his face, stopping to massage his temples.
"Jesus Amelia, now is not the time to play naive. You honestly think you'd sleep with a man more than once, have him fall in love with you and there not be a discussion of marriage? We're best friends and while he doesn't go into details, because God forbid if he did, he'd be overboard...he does talk to me. As both his best friend and your brother..." Amelia watched James pace back and forth in front of her.
"Yes there have been discussions of marriage. Bloody hell Amelia, what do you even know about him? You've known him for less than a week." Amelia pulled on James' arm to get him to stop pacing as well as sit back down on the bench.
"I love him James. Yes, I have known him for less than a week, and yes, we probably don't know enough about each other...but I love him. If he discussed marriage, than that's his decision I suppose. But it was only a discussion, right? He only talked about it. It doesn't mean he will go out and buy a ring and it doesn't mean he will ask. It doesn't even mean he was talking about me. I love him, but that doesn't mean that in a week or a month we'll even be together. I hope we will but nothing is guaranteed. I may die tomorrow, you never know. So please relax..." Amelia squeezed James' arm and made him look at her.
"You're more naive than I thought you were if you don't realize he was talking about you. You think you won't be together in a week or a month? Amelia, you are as much in love with him as he is with you. You'll be together." Amelia closed her eyes and took deep breaths. It took an the strength she had not to throttle her brother.
"You want me to find someone I love to settle down with and then you complain and say that I'm making the wrong decision?" She heard James sigh beside her and then he stood and started pacing again.
"I'm not saying you're making the wrong decision. Fall in love, which you have, I don't care about that. I just don't want you to rush into marriage and then regret it later. I'm not saying you will but I worry about you. You're my baby sister. I have to worry about you." Amelia stood and stopped her brother she pacing by giving him a hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face to his will jacket. She loved her brother, he was her hero and she knew all he wanted was the best for her.
"I love you James. You're my best friend I want you to know that. You only want what's best for me. I love that about you." Amelia broke the hug and took a step away from him.
"I love Harry and if he has decided to discuss marriage with you, and if he should ever ask, I would not say no. I would accept, and whatever happens from them on, happens. If it works out, it works out. And if it doesn't then I pick up the pieces and I move on. No matter what happens, I will survive and I will be okay. I'll always have you as my brother and I know you'll always be looking out for me." This time James hugged her. He pulled her into an almost bone-crushing hug.
"Always, baby sister."
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That makes me sad thinking that it could be one of the last conversations they have. Hope you like it!
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