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This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins between Twilight and New Moon. Like Stephenie's New Moon outtake, in this story, Jacob didn't come to help Bella guess what happened to him. She learned that he was a werewolf another way. Bella never jumped. Alice had no vision. Edward didn't return to Forks. Would Bella live the normal, happy human life Edward wanted for her?

The Good in Goodbye

Summer, 2026

by silly bella

I sat by the bed listening to Bella breathe as she slept. They had been here, all of the Cullens, often, and the room smelled like them: sticky and sweet. No one else noticed. Bella seemed to think the werewolves and the vampires both smelled good.

Ben Cheney had come out earlier that day as Bella had signed everything over. She'd completely divested herself of property, prepaying the taxes. It was most efficient and considerate of her, Ben had whispered as he left. He was a nice guy and a good attorney, but I still wanted to smack him when he said it.

All the paperwork had made Bella tired. That was easier and easier to do these days. She hardly ever left the bedroom any more and she rested a larger portion of the day. Her skin had turned a pale grey color. None of them could avoid seeing exactly what all of them hated to face. There wasn't much time.

"Jacob," Bella whispered hoarsely. She reached for the water but dropped her hands when I held the cup to her mouth. As much as I wanted to help her, it killed me that she allowed it. It just proved how weak and tired she really was. Her lips held the straw as she drank. I set the glass beside the bed, and when she spoke again, her voice was a little stronger. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for anything," I whispered. "You're my friend."

"Your best friend?" She laughed quietly.

"My best friend ever," I sighed, leaning my head close to hers.

She smiled and reached for my hand. "Sometimes I think this was too much to ask." I started to protest and she placed her other hand over my mouth. "Not the actual taking care of me part. The rest of it. Watching me… diminish. You don't smile as much. The 'work' of taking care of me clearly doesn't faze you or Ellen. But it's taking a toll on you emotionally. I'd have never asked this of you if I thought for one minute …"

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

"Are you laughing at me, Jacob Black?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. But she was smiling, so I knew she wasn't upset in the slightest.

"Bella, honey, you're dying, but you're trying to take care of me; to make sure I feel okay about it. If you can't see some really sick humor in that…"

She grinned. "I just don't want to lose your smile. It's too important to me."

"So I need to be happy that you're dying? Not gonna' happen." I squeezed her hand.

"That's not it, Jacob. But I do want you to be happy." She stared out the window for a moment. "When it seemed like my world was falling apart and it couldn't get any worse, I was able to laugh again because you were happy. Then things did get worse, and you were still there to help me hold it together. And every time after that, you've managed, somehow, to do the same thing. I don't want you to lose that. I want you to be happy knowing that your friendship has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. Your smile is a treasure, and it's been far too absent lately. I don't want to be responsible for taking that away from the other people who need it, too."

"It's hard to see you fading, Bella. I can tell how weak you are." Then I laughed. "I've never been very good at accepting things, have I?"

She grinned. "You use the stairs now."

"He doesn't." I chuckled. "How come?"

Bella shrugged. "Nostalgia? Privacy? Maybe he just doesn't want to get vampire scent all over your house."

Even I had to smile at that point. "It does stink. It really does."

"To me it smells like the most heavenly floral scent you can imagine. How does it smell to you?" She waited expectantly for my answer.

How could I describe it? "They have a heavy floral smell. It's sweet and cloying. It's like drowning in honey."

Her brow furrowed. "So what you smell is what I smell, just magnified because your senses are so much stronger?"

"No, it's more than that, because flowers still smell nice. Vampires smell different, and their scent clings to everything they touch." Bella blushed and looked away. Did she honestly think I didn't have any idea what was going on? "I know he stays here almost every night. I can smell him. I know he's there in the bed with you." I shook my head. "I don't understand how you can be so comfortable around any of them. But I can tell they make you happy, and I can't deny you that."

Bella lay silently, but she was still listening carefully. I kept talking. "Back in high school, when they first left, there were all these parties in La Push. Bonfires, all kinds of celebrating. And I knew that you were hurting. I walked up to your house that night, you know. I arrived just as every one was leaving. And I was so angry because people were celebrating what had made you so sad. I felt so helpless." And I'm still helpless. I really wanted to break something, to vent all of that frustration that had lain dormant over the years.

"You were the only one who could help me then, Jacob. The only one. Nobody else came close to breaking through." She reached for my hand.

"This would be a lot harder for you if they weren't here, wouldn't it?" She nodded, but didn't speak. "Then however reluctant I am to say it, I'm glad they're here. I don't like it one bit, but I'm glad. That probably doesn't make any sense."

She shook her head. "I think I understand." She laughed. "Part of you thinks you're crazy for feeling that way. The other part knows better."

Her mind seemed far away. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about. She frowned then smiled as a wistful look flickered across her face. Was she still hoping he would make her one of them? I would kill them, every one of them, if it came to that. "Shhhhhh," she whispered, her eyelids closing slowly. Her grip on my hand relaxed. I wondered if this was what it would be like at the end as I watched her soft, steady breathing. I hoped it would be this easy for her. Something in her life should be easy, even if it was dying.