Chapter 14: All hallows eve
Halloween is a holiday that takes place during Christmas (irl anyway). It's a day where pedophisles aren't allowed to answer the doorbell. Not even for trick or treaters nor carolers alike. Carolers boyscouts salesmans jahovas witnessesse, the jews, the Comcast guy, grannies, Victoria secrewt angels, who else? that dude from the peapod NO ONE! Althought today we won't be talking about anyt of those things. We'll be talking about children. One children in specific. Its name is domino. Halloween was almost upon him now and he didn't' know what to wear!
In aditions to before people dress up on Halloween and they get to be what they are on the inside. Domino wanted to dress as a witch, the genious idea came to his mind when he looked in the mirror after wearing his school robes. "Okay" he inquired
Since he was a boy he didn't want to look like pussy by going and buying makeup, so instead he used mashed peas to dye his skin green. Witches have boobs so he found some watermellons, or tried to anyway. The watermeloon flavored jolly ranches would do. He got the American kind because they had more high fructose corn syrup and he wanted his breasts to be as sweet as can be. He filled some ziplock bags with them and taped them to his clavicles. Laslt he wanted to have warts so he stole nevils toad and made out with it for a while hoping to contract its disease. Now all he needed was a hat. He went to the headmasters office to accuire the sorting hat because it would be perfect for to look like witch. The gargoyle blocking the entrance couldn't be seduced like the fat lady so he had to figure out the password on his own. He used a brute force attack and eventually got it. That's what those suckers get for not using a capital letter and a number in their passwords! So now that his costume was complete he just had to wait for treak or tritting to start. Ehilr he was waiting for that. He decided to go take a shit.
He went to the nearest bathroom and entered. He breathed in the pungent aroma that came with every boys bathroom and headed toward a stall. Two of the three were out of order, so he took the one on the left. He noisily pulled toilet paper off of the role and folded it before placing it on the seat. Then he noticed that there was one of those paper thin seat cover thingies on the wall so he took out one of those for good measyre and placed it in over the neatly folded toilet paper and then sat his butt upon the water closet. It was slightly cold, but the padding helped warm his cheeks slightly. He wished someone would invent a heated toilet seat, then he called Hermione to ask her to do it because she was smart. As he leaned forward to get his phone however, the automatic flush censor was tripped and he could feel the water rising beneath him the water rose enough that his balls just barely dipped into it. Without his knowledge, the mashed peas were washed from his nutsack as the water rose. He could tell the toilet was clogged but he didn't have time to move to a different stall, he could already feel his bowls moving. His sphincter opened up to allow the log of shit to release itself from his body. It slowly sank to the bottom of the bowl where it would remain for a few minutes before being taken away. Domino shut his sphincter when his bowls had been sufficiently relieved. He grabbed a wad of toilet paper and began wiping his arse with it. It took 10 or 11 wads for the toilet paper to be clean upon his wipe but it finally was. Domino looked into the watercloset and noticed the green tint from the mashed peas. He frekked out thinking something was wrong with him so he grabbed a handful of it and stuck it in his pocket to show a doctor later. Then he left the bathroom to go eat lunch.
Today for lunch domino and his friends ordered bdubs for takout. Domino was the one to pick up the food so he stuck it in his pocket and walked back to hogwarts. When they got to the cafeterÃa domino took out the food nd placed 6 wings in front of each of his friends. Today his friends include Neville, dean, sir nicholus, madam pomfree, Penelope Clearwater, Harper Lee, and the terrorist. After he had passed out, he took his shit sample to madam pomfree to have her take a looksee. She said there was nothing to worry about so domino sat down to eat his food. "What this shit?" black personed dean. "I like me some Brown's Chicken"
"it tastes oddly of peas and some other strange seasoning I cannot name" faced Penelope Clearwater.
"I like it." emojied Neville hard. He knew how to use the internet L: because hogwarts had Harper-like wifi
Once the clock struck 3 it was time for tick and treating to commense. Each of the students was allowed to go to each of the teachers' offices to get candy from them (Except the terrorist because he was a pedophile (it was legal to marry 11 year olds in his country)). Ron and Hermione were no where to be found so domino went trick or treating with Neville who was dressed as a ginger. Domino appreciated his effort to be a good person. They spent about an hour and got a lot of candy. Neville made domino take his load. (Neville was on a diet because he was chubby) Domino ate a lot of candy and felt fat after but content.