Matt listened to James and Cooper argue, yet the words weren't registering. Someone cut off Tom's finger. Jeff and Cooper fucked. Gotta find Tom before something else goes wrong... He was suddenly overcome, feeling light-headed and having to lean against the wall for support.

"Matty, are you alright?" Jeff immediately rushed over to stop Matt from passing out.

"I'll be fine, Jeff," Matt assured him. "Just need to splash some water on my face."

"Imma take you to the bathroom," Jeff stated. "Can you walk?"

"Yeah." Matt staggered in toward the bathrooms, hoping that the water was still on. Jeff tagged close behind just in case, leaving Randy and Mark alone.

"Is there something I'm not being told? I feel like I'm outta the loop," Randy said

"Probably," Mark replied. "All I know for sure is that Tom never came back with you, and he hasn't been seen since. His phone, his gun, and now apparently his finger has been found in several different parts of this dive." And there are two dead cops because of it.

"So what exactly are we hoping to find? This is kinda illegal, isn't it?"

"Nothing kinda 'bout it." Mark reached into his pocket and took out a pair of gloves. "And I have no idea what we're looking for. This is all Cooper's thing."

"Cooper? Why?"

"I see Matt hasn't told you the whole story either," Mark answered "You should probably ask him or Jeff about it. Me telling you will just get us all into a lot of trouble."

...

There was just enough water pressure in the club to allow Matt to splash a handful or two on his face.

"Feel better, Matty?"

"A little. I guess just thinkin' about Tom being in pain and not being able to do anything about it finally got to me." Matt leaned against the sink.

"You think we're ever gonna find Tommy?" Jeff started playing with his hair.

"We are... I'm sure of it," Matt answered.

"Can I, uh, tell you something?" Jeff stuttered.

"Is this about you and Cooper?"

"How did you know?" Jeff took a step back. "Did he tell you?"

"No... James did," Matt responded "Jeff, what the fuck were you thinking? First James, now Cooper... who's next? Connor?"

"He made me," Jeff pleaded. "I didn't wanna..."

"But you did." Matt slammed the counter with his fist. "And after all the drama you pulled when Cooper told you about fucking Tom… Jeff, I dunno what to do about you sometimes."

Jeff stared at his feet, ashamed. Yet again, he let his feelings get in the way of his common sense.

"End of lecture," Matt said. "Once we find Tom, I'm sure he'll have something to say about the matter."

"Maybe he won't be too mad." Maybe he'll wanna threesome with Cooper and me. That'd be... no wait, that's badness... I love Tommers, not Cooper!

"C'mon. You know Tom likes to overreact to shit." Matt turned on the tap again, hoping for at least a few more drops of water for his face, but alas there was none.

"Imma know."

"You two okay in there?" Randy stuck his head into the bathroom.

"Yeah, if you two have finished with the Hardycest, we'd like to get our asses in gear." That was James.

"Ass-fucking faggot..." Jeff muttered.

"Jeff," Matt cautioned him.

"Sorry. Psychotic ass-fucking faggot. Why can't he be nice for once?"

"Because it's not in my nature," James barked. "And I take offense to that, Twinky Dink."

"Oh yeah?" Jeff balled his fists.

"Yeah. I'm bi, thank you very much," James sneered. "If I wasn't, how do you think I made a kid?"

"Well, you coulda..." Matt quickly clamped his hand over his younger brother's mouth before something came out that could get them killed.

"Never mind. I know way too much about the sexual activites of the Lawson than is good for me without you giving me more nightmares." When he was finally satisfied that Jeff was not going to finish his sentence, Matt took his hand away.

"Can we get on with this?" Mark leaned against the wall, a strange expression on his face. Almost like he was enjoying watching this little piece of drama play out, but he wanted to find Tom, and put this thing to bed before anything that linked to the deaths of the two homicide detectives was discovered.

"Yeah. This talking about me when I'm not around is really starting to piss me off." Cooper joined the fray in the bathroom.

"Cooper, we..."

"If all of you had spent less time worrying about trying to be my dad, how this was going to affect your marriage, being an asshole, being a bigger asshole, and fuck, I don't even know why you came along, then this thing might have been over a long time ago." Cooper ranted, pointing at Mark, Jeff, Matt, James, and Randy in turn.

"Oh really?" Mark raised his eyebrows at his son. "You have it all figured out, do ya boy?"

"Not all, but shit balls Mark, I got a lot more figured out up here" he tapped his forehead "than any of your jack offs."

"Enlighten us." James went over to lean against the wall next to Mark. "I can't wait to hear this."

"What do we know so far?"

"Tom's missing."

"You and Jeff fucked."

"According to you, my parenting skills blow." Everyone started talking at once.

"Yes, yes, and fuck yes," Cooper answered. "Tom came back here, that much is for fuckin' sure. For whatever reason, he blew what was left of Patrick's head off with two shots, but someone else had to be here. The finger proves it. If, for whatever reason, that pussy decided to take the coward's way out, then the police would have found a body, not just a mystery bullet casing!"

"So, you're saying Tommy is still alive?" Jeff whispered.

"I'm willing to bet on it," Cooper answered.

"Crap," James muttered, earning him a slap from Mark.

"The only thing we need to do is figure out who took him, and where he is, and then we call all go back to our merry little fucking lives." Cooper stated "And if any of you has a problem with that, Dad, then you can just fuck right off. Any fuckin' questions?"

They all shook their heads.

"Since you seem to have all this figured out, what do we do?" Mark asked.

"I vote for a massive orgy," James replied.

"Fuck that!" Mark slapped him again

"What the fuck was that for?" James rubbed his cheek, then punched Mark in the face.

"That was gonna be my suggestion," Mark said with a pout.

"Is that all they do? Fight and fuck?" Randy whispered to Matt.

"Unfortunately, yes," Matt replied

"Problem, you two?" Cooper was certainly taking control of the situation, and daring anyone to tell him otherwise.

"Nope," Matt and Randy answered as one.

"Good. You two search the back rooms." He pointed to Mark and James because he didn't want Jeff anywhere near where they'd found a piece of Tom. "You three search the front."

"And you will..."

"I am going to finish hacking that damn computer and figure out where those tweets were coming from." Cooper announced "And if anyone has I problem with that, I got to words for ya..."

"Suck it?" Jeff guessed, giggling.

"Fuck you." Cooper stormed out of the bathroom. The discussion was over as far as he was concerned and it was now time for action and action was something he was good at.

....

I'm going to kill James and Mark. I really am. I'm going to wrap my hands around their necks and squeeze until their eyes pop out of their skulls. These were the homicidal thoughts that were going through Glenn's head. He seriously hated both of them right now. They had thrown him to the over hyper wolf that was Connor and had left him to sink or swim. And at the moment, he was going to sink unless he somehow managed to calm the psycho down.

"VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM!" Connor yelled at the top of his lungs. He was running all around the room, pretending to be a racecar. It had been slightly less annoying than the dildo thing at first, but now it was just as bad. "VROOM VROOM! VROOM VROOM! FIRE FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE!" He hurled himself down to the floor and began rolling all over the floor. "FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE!"

"Did James feed you a shit load of sugar?" Glenn finally asked. "What the fuck has gotten into you?"

Connor completely ignored him and got back up to his feet. "GLENN!"

"What?"

"You're on fire!"

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are! You gotta roll around on the floor really quickly so the fire gnomes can suck it off you and make you not be on fire."

Glenn blinked several times. "Well then I'm just going to burn because there is no way in hell I'm letting a gnome suck me in any way, shape or form."

Connor pouted. "Dumbass." The pout quickly disappeared and he once again began running around the room. "DILDO! DILDO! DILDO! DILDO!"

"Connor--"

"DILDO! DILDO! DILDO! DIL--"

"CONNOR! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Connor stopped and started crying. Whether the tears that fell from his eyes were real or not was up for debate. But the crying itself was really loud and obnoxious. "Meanie! Nobody loves me and my dildos anymore!"

Glenn rolled his eyes. "You're halfway right. We definitely don't love your dildos anymore. But we still love you."

"LIAR!" Connor shrieked. He began banging his head against the floor as hard as he could.

"Damn it, would you stop that?" Glenn snapped. The last thing he needed was for Connor to give himself a concussion and then have James get all pissed off about that. He grabbed Connor and pulled him up to his feet. "You're going to hurt yourself!"

Connor sniffled. "Uncle Glenn?"

"What?"

"I...I...DILDO!" Connor wrenched himself out of Glenn's and ran out of the room.

Glenn sighed. That's it...I'm knocking the bastard out. I can't take this shit no more.

....

"So...are you ever going to stop being an asshole about this whole thing?" Mark asked, almost not approaching this subject but doing it anyway. He and James hadn't really said much during their search, but he could practically see the smoke coming out of James's ears, which was not a good thing.

"Fuck you," James muttered.

Mark rolled his eyes. "I knew that was what you were going to say."

"Yeah, you know me so damn well."

"Come on Lawson, just stop. You've thrown your tantrum for long enough. Can't you just be a mature and--" Mark couldn't even finish that statement before he started laughing. What the hell was he thinking? Asking James to be mature about anything was like asking Connor not to be annoying. It just wasn't going to happen.

James glared at Mark. "Why does it have to be the damn Hardys? Why? Those three..." His voice trailed off and he just made a very loud and frustrated noise.

"Uh...need I remind you that you used to have a relationship with Jeff?"

"Need I remind you that my relationship with him almost cost me you?"

Mark sighed. "Cooper doesn't have anything to loose here."

"Sure he does. He's lusting after a married couple who, despite one being one of the biggest idiots on the planet and the other being a walking cum dumpster, love each other so much that it's sickening. Do you really think that they're going to let Cooper in on any of that shit? Do you really think either of them actually gives a rat's ass about him? Maybe I would be less of a dick about this situation if I could see a happy ending for Cooper in all of this, but I don't." When James was done ranting, he kicked the wall and then clammed up again.

Mark sighed. "Did you tell Cooper that?"

"No. He doesn't want to hear it."

"Maybe you should tell him. He might get why you're being an asshole about this."

"And maybe you should start looking around for clues. I actually want to find Tom's kidnapper now. I'm going to buy that bastard a steak dinner before Cooper slaughters him."

Mark rolled his eyes. "Oh Lawson...what the fuck am I going to do with you?"

James smirked. "I can think of some stuff.

Mark smirked back. "Horny bastard."

"You know you love it."

"Oh I do. I really fucking do."

….

"This would be a lot easier if we had a clue what we were looking for." Randy stared at a framed picture of the late owner hanging across from the bar. "And what makes Cooper think that there's anything else to find? We've already found his phone, his gun, and possibly a finger, but Christ, you'd think if there was anything else to find we'd a-found it already."

"I agree. We're running out of time." Matt looked around the front. He cocked his head to the right. "Jeffro, you've come here more than me. Can I ask you somethin'?"

"What Matters?" Jeff skipped over.

"Does this look right to you?" Matt pointed to the wall. Jeff scrunched his eyes and stared at the pictures.

"Yeah, it's..." Jeff's eyes widened. "That one picture is upside down!"

"That's what I thought." Matt yanked the picture from the wall and looked at the square where it had hung. Right under where the picture would've hung had it been in it's rightful position was a small hole.

"Is that what I think it is?" Randy came over for a better look.

"For Jeff's sake, I hope so." Matt stuck his finger into the hole and wriggled it around a little.

"Well?" Jeff anxiously hopped from one foot to the other. "C'mon, Matty, hurry up!"

Matt reached into his pocket for his Swiss Army Knife. He pried the blade into the hole and worked it around until a small object fell onto the floor with a small thud. Matt picked it up and looked at it.

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

"Ahem!" Randy looked around. "There's just us."

"Oh... gentlemen and gentlemen, we have found our missing bullet."