A/N: Hey, y'all. It's official. This fandom and my readers are seriously the most amazing, heartfelt people in the world. You guys amaze me. Thank you for your reviews and well wishes. I know I haven't responded to all of them and may have responded to some. I really, really want to reply to them all. So bear with me for a while. I really don't know what's up or down right now. Just know that I read and squee over every single one.
Thanks to detroitangel, nattydread, and kittycullen for love, support, beta, pre-reads and more.
So. Chapter 13. We have two parts here. A past and a present. The past starts right where we left off in chapter 12. The present is a few weeks after the last present section (that is a few weeks after the EPOV of his meeting with Bella in the kitchen in chapter 11). Most of the present section is in flashback and my prereaders assured me that it wasn't confusing, but I still wanted to give a heads up. I know, why would I skip three weeks and then write it in flashback? Well, 'cause it worked better that way, that's why. Okay, I'll shut the fuck up now and let you read.
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Walking up the stairs slowly, overly relaxed from feeding and the general euphoria it causes, I was struck by a maelstrom of emotion and a series of loud bangs and curses. This much noise was unusual, even for Bella. I winced. Her frustration was piercing; her disappointment weighed me down like lead.
I shook my head, trying to clear out her influence. I laughed, realizing that Bella was essentially making her way through the circle of human emotion faster than I had ever felt before. Seriously, what the hell was she going on about? As I reached her room, I opened the door slowly and stepped cautiously inside. The space was messier than usual. Every drawer was spilled over, her clothing draped on every piece of furniture. Shoe boxes mingled with piles of dresses heaped on the bed. There was even a jewelry box and several purses, just for good measure I was sure. It reminded me of the trash room from the movie "Labyrinth."
Bella's dark eyes stared wildly in my direction and she looked as if she didn't recognize me. She wasn't speaking in complete sentences and the ones that were near complete were incomprehensible.
"Why can't I… Jazz, where… fucking blue angel of death… bombs… shouldn't… fucking… God damn it!"
Each word was growled, punctuated with an item being tossed out of the closet. I caught a few garments, righting them and tidying up a bit, not really knowing what to do. Admittedly, I was a little surprised when I walked in on 'Bella versus The Closet'. I may have been just a little bit out of my element. I lacked the experience for this kind of bloodbath.
"Bella?" I shouted over her ranting. "What's going on? Do you need help?"
"Where did it go, Jazz?" She was on all fours, digging through boxes and piles of fabric, opening suitcases and ripping into garment bags, scrambling like a lunatic locked in a cage. Her frustration was now visible with every handful of closet mash she threw into the air.
I watched in amusement as she got all hot and sweaty rooting around on her knees, gasping when she thought she had found what she had been looking for.
"Please, please, Jazzy, tell me where it is," she cried. "I've retraced my steps, from packing it to unpacking. I've exhausted every avenue. I'll never find it, will I?" She sounded so defeated. Her fingers were knotted into her hair and her stare was as lost as whatever she was hunting.
"I'm sorry, Bells, I don't have specific directions to the land of the lost, but the closet floor is not that large a parcel. I'm sure we can find what you're looking for if we just remain calm." I emphasized those last words, keen on blanketing her with that emotion. It worked for all of two seconds before her incredulous rage and suspicion hit me like a brick wall.
"It's vintage Pucci! It was my mothers! What the fuck am I going to do if I lost it? I swear I hung it up! It had to have been in that one box! Why would I have packed it in a box?!"
This was a level of mania I was not used to with Bella. Stark raving fucking mad, she was. With one last strangled look at me, she dove back into the abyss.
I would probably be of no help in this situation. Not only did I not know where her mother's vintage Pucci was, I didn't know what the hell a vintage Pucci could possibly be. I know what I wanted it to be, but was pretty certain that that wasn't what she was talking about.
I had stopped catching every article of clothing, shoe, and hair extension that came flying out of the closet. At first, I had thought of it as an interesting game of skill and agility, but after the first fifteen minutes, there was no usable space left for putting her things in order.
Bella wasn't a very tidy person and I had a hard time dealing with her mess. The thought of all those garments, knickknacks, things just laying about made me cringe; soldiers are just too regimented to tolerate such mayhem—vampires, too. Alice and I were neat freaks. Because of this, I generally avoided Bella's room whenever I could.
We often tried to convince her to let us clean up, but she refused. I always questioned her motives and wondered why a human would be so resistant to the assistance. It would have taken me all of five, maybe four, minutes to reorganize everything, scrub it floor to ceiling, and run her a bath while I was at it.
She would have nothing to do with it. Alice made the mistake of cleaning for Bella one day, while she was away at work. Angry Bella is a scary, scary monster. I swear she burst into flames for a few seconds. I had never encountered anything as terrible and beautiful as Bella enraged. She was going to be incredible when she was one of us. I couldn't help but be eager for that day.
Alice would divulge nothing concerning her vision of Bella becoming a vampire. She couldn't help her excitement, though, when I asked her about it. The gleam in her eyes told me I was correct in my assumption.
Vampire Bella was going to rule the world.
"Bells, baby? How tight was this shit packed in there if it's this thick out here?" I pointed to the closet and then to the room in general, my voice dripping with mirth and just a trace of legitimate disgust.
"Jazz," she whined. "I need that dress. Need it. If I lost that dress, I'll slit my wrists."
"Bella!" I gasped. How casually she threatened such things! Perhaps she wouldn't mind spilling her blood, but I certainly would.
"Ugh, J, seriously. You don't understand. That bitch will be wearing something fucking mind blowing and if I'm not as well, I'm going to be very, very, unhappy."
Very unhappy Bella kind of frightened the shit out of me, but in an oh-so-tingly kind of way. There is nothing sweeter in this world than a woman who's not sure if she wants to fuck you or kill you.
Something I could never fully explain to anyone was how closely related the two emotions really were. A man would have to be a fool not to recognize the war when it was happening. It's something unmistakable, unbelievable, and absolutely breathtaking to witness.
It was a storm of love and hate simultaneously. Somehow the two morphed into one unnamed emotion we were all familiar with, have all experienced, and created a world both phenomenal and dissonant.
I had an advantage in understanding such things; I was constantly reminded. No one would ever know the extent and range of emotion like I would. I'd not come across another empath in my existence. I had heard of a few, human no less, but they couldn't manipulate those around them as I could.
This is the reason that women were endlessly fascinating to me. Such baffling emotions tied to the oddest, sometimes most mundane tasks and objects. They sometimes felt negative at positive times, and vice-versa. There had to be reasons these feelings were triggered. The more I tried to figure it out, the more each one became appropriate in every scenario.
This, sadly, was where my knowledge ended. Men were simpler. We were no less intense, but instead of an immense web of questions and possibilities, we dealt mainly in straight lines.
A whole new world, more expansive and more complicated than I could ever understand, lay beyond that gate. I was humble enough to know that even with my vampire capabilities I would never be that enlightened. A woman was an infinite entity tied to all things heaven and earth. She created it all. She fed it, worshiped it, tricked it and somehow made it think that it did it all by itself; she could strike it down, kill it, or leave it for dead.
I suddenly realized what was going on here. Alice had set me up and now Bella was coming for me head on.
"Is it the swirly blue one that comes up to here?" I asked, leveling my arm at my throat, positively hostile toward the idea of her wearing such a short dress out in public.
Her eyes widened, surging with hope and malice. "Yes." Her voice rumbled. She stopped her digging and slowly turned to me.
This was going to be, as they say, a piece of cake. A man's got to entertain himself somehow. I decided long ago that Bella was a little too easy to lead on. Not necessarily the most convenient character flaw, but definitely a most advantageous one for me.
Standing here in Bella's world, I gleefully knew she was somewhere between tricking me and striking me—two of my favorites. Try as I might, I don't think I'd ever made it to killing time. Not yet. I'm a smart boy; I knew to give her anything she ever asked for and then some. She got as much out of my taunting her as I did. I mean, after all, she was actually persuading me into thinking I was provoking her. And I would deny it, saying it had always been my game. Women were tricksy that way. I knew what to watch out for, even though I was never really sure what was happening.
"I may have seen something fitting that description somewhere." Her dress, the "vintage Pucci," was hanging in Alice's closet, freshly, carefully cleaned, waiting for Bella to wear. Alice had confirmed this herself.
She beat her way out of the closet of chaos and ran to me. Pleading with her eyes, she clung to me like I was a holy man and she was a foul sinner. My cock twitched. God damn the fantasies the girl conjured up in my brain. Her warm little body was pressed against me, but it was the look on her face that was making me hard. It didn't matter if she was angry, or sad, or disgusted. I had a memory of every one of Bella's expressions locked in a deep dark place, waiting for me to spend a little quality time with them.
Begging Bella just happened to be one of my favorites. I almost couldn't help myself. Almost. Not that I had much time for self pleasure—time or opportunity. Two lovers would keep even the most libidinous vampire quite thoroughly satisfied.
"Now that I think about it," I stalled, tapping my chin in contemplation, "I may be thinking of a different dress."
"Jazz, please stop fucking around! Where? Where did you see it?" Her eyes were wet and boring into mine.
"Hmmm. Let me see…" I slid out of her grasp and walked a few circles around her. She fidgeted, wringing her fingers, looking over her shoulder at me. She whimpered and crumbled at my position. How a girl could get so worked up over a dress was amazing. I was getting used to this kind of shit more and more in the year since Bella had moved in. She and Alice were fashion vipers; swift and merciless with their kills, also vengeful and malicious when thwarted in any way.
"Where is it, again, you're going that you need this dress so badly?" I asked, stopping just a few inches behind her.
"My high school reunion. It's tomorrow night and I need that dress because Lauren fucking Mallory will be there for sure, and I will kill a bitch in that dress. She knows it too. Fucking whore. She about sucked me off once just to borrow it."
"Really now? That would be an interesting sight. And what, pray tell, is so fabulous about this dress that you would 'kill a bitch' in it?" We were on to something here. I could feel her relaxing and enjoying herself. The anger she seethed when talking about Lauren Mallory was fading fast.
"Well," she began, "one: it hugs my every curve like a second skin." She stroked her hands over her breasts, down to her hips and over her ass. She came dangerously close to grazing my cock. "Two: the color looks amazing on me." She turned her head, her profile dark against the light window covering in the back ground, and tilted her head down. "Three: it's so fucking short, one false move and anyone could get a free show." She twirled to face me with a rather challenging look in her eyes.
"Nuh-uh, little lady," I said as I grabbed her hips roughly and pulled her flush against my chest and thighs. "Alice and I have paid a pretty penny for that toy. I don't think you'll be sharing it in front of the class any time soon."
I started counting down until my little Bellabomb detonated. Five... four... three... two.…
"Jasper! Damn it! Come on!" She backed away, pouting.
The game would never get old. I would always give in, but not before putting up a good fight. I almost lost, but still I had a few tricks up my sleeve she hadn't anticipated. I had been building myself up, nearly ready to bend her over the nearest stable surface when she turned to face me. I knew my eyes were black and I unleashed my lust on her, just as quickly stealing it back.
"Oh, baby girl. When are you gonna learn?" I said as I reached out to her again, guiding her to my and Alice's room.
"Probably never." She smiled, resting her head on my shoulder. I kissed her forehead as we walked.
"So, the dress was your mother's?" I asked her, soaking up any remaining drama and replacing it with a general cheer. I didn't want to upset her, but I realized just then that I didn't really know that much about Bella's past. Suddenly, I was curious and made sure Bella felt the same.
"Yeah. She gave it to me when I was fourteen. Two years before she died. I've only worn it a few times." She didn't seem unwilling to talk, but it appeared as if her memory was focused on the dress and not the parent.
"Why did you get so upset when you couldn't find the dress?"
"I don't know, Jasper. Why do I need a reason? It's the only tangible thing I have left and the thought of losing it scares me to death." There was little Bella could do to hide her feelings from me and even if she kept mum, I would still know that she was struggling. She was trying to hang on to the good memories and rid herself of the guilty ones.
She blamed herself for her parents' deaths. I had no details, but I didn't need them. Bella didn't feel particularly close to them, but she loved them nonetheless.
"You have the salon." I reminded her.
"I do, you're right. But Beaut has become so much more than the garage salon I started it as. It's just a whisper of them, now." She stopped walking. All the fury and fire behind her garment tossing had dissipated and it felt like we were tumbling down a deep well. She tried to turn away, but I snaked my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. I selfishly wrapped myself around her, burying my face in her hair. She didn't hug me back.
"I'm sorry, baby girl. I didn't mean to bring it up. Forget I said anything."
"It's fine, Jazz. It's no bother," she sniffed. Slowly her arms came together behind me and I swelled with delight. She giggled.
"Do you ever miss them? Your parents?" I asked, thrilled to actually be getting some information out of her. It was times like these that I knew I was falling in love with her. There wasn't anything I could do about it except keep telling myself that it wasn't happening. I wondered briefly how long I would be able to continue denying it.
She pushed off of me and we continued down the hallway to my bedroom. She smiled and cocked her brow. "Sure," she said. "Don't you miss yours?"
I could tell when I'd been bested and I steered her into the room. "Touché."
"In there." I pointed. "First black bag on the left."
She squealed and ran for it. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched her take the bag off the rod. She set it next to me and unzipped it slowly. Her grin was as wide as the Cheshire cat as she held up the dress, inspecting it.
"Man, you guys totally suck!" she yelled and slapped my shoulder.
I laughed. "Yep. No denying that."
She giggled and hugged me, settling on my lap. "Thanks." She said softly, lightly kissing my cheek. "For everything."
"Bella, the pleasure is all mine." I squeezed her tightly.
"So are you taking me to this shindig, or what?" she asked.
Never one to deny a woman, especially not the hot, soft one nestled on my thighs, I smiled. "Of course. Someone's got to make sure the goods stay unmolested."
She laughed again. It was music to my ears. "Oh, Jesus. You're going to scare everyone shitless, aren't you? Promise me that no matter who tries to violate me that you won't eat anyone." My fingers dug gently into her ribs, making her squirm deliciously on my lap.
"I'll try," I said.
"Well, if you feel the urge to eat someone, let me know, sugar. I'll help you out. I wouldn't want you to suffer needlessly," she said, leaning her face into mine. I stopped her, nudging her cheek with my forehead. She pushed against me, but I was stubborn. The soft little human wasn't calling the shots right now. I pinned her arms to her sides and growled a bit, just enough for her to hear me, and pressed into her again.
I ran my lips roughly from her chin to her jaw. "I'll be sure to remember that, Bella." I shivered, enjoying the sound of her gasp, watching and feeling her body stiffen against mine.
"So," she whispered, trying not to react. "Why did Alice have to leave so quickly?"
"Well, you know," I spoke into the skin below her ear. "Our seer noticed your closet tirade and she needed to escape before you ventured farther than your own domain."
"Hmph," she blew out a breath. "You're fucking lying."
I smiled into her shoulder.
The desire that was racing through me was driving me faster than our circumstance allowed. I shook my head and pressed my nose into the sensitive flesh of her neck. She moaned in anticipation of my touch. The salty sweetness from her skin danced on my tongue; her heavy breaths mixed with my own and the effect on my body was evident by my unyielding need to taste every inch of her.
"Alice left instructions so we couldn't get out of line," I said. "What do you think she saw us getting into?"
As I flicked my tongue behind her ear and down her neck, she tilted away to peel off her flimsy camisole, exposing more flesh.
"Pretty sure this is okay," she whispered, shifting her weight so that she was perpendicular to me, her thigh resting and pushing onto my cock. She said nothing else, but her heavy breathing spoke volumes. Warm, half hard nipples taunted me, begging to be touched. Her body rose and fell as I wrapped my arms around her, shamelessly running the palm of my hand over her chest and stomach. We wrestled a bit faster, hungry in our urge to feel each other. I pulled my shirt over my head, rolling my eyes as each inch of her hot skin met mine.
"You said... that Alice said..." she panted.
"Alice was very specific and I do not intend to disobey her," I murmured into her hair. Bella wasn't one for playing shy. She liked to tease and lead me on, but she was usually very receptive to any and all forms of flirting. She had yet to disappoint me. Her breathing excited me further and every subtle move of her hips brought me closer to the edge. I pinched one of her nipples, making her gasp.
"What, exactly, were her orders?" she asked, grinding her tight little ass on me. Tiny warm fingers shied their way under the waist of my jeans and the pleasure of her flesh on mine shocked through my body, as did worry and apprehension. It was going to be nearly impossible for me to restrain myself enough to not fuck her, to not kill her. Roaming her warm body with my hands, I stared off into nothing and tried to decide what to do, warning myself either way not to get too lost in the fire.
"Jasper? I want to touch you, feel how I make you feel." She turned it all out on me. I knew that I could never just take the pleasure she offered. I'm not that man. It's my nature to give, but my control was unraveling. Desire had singed through my resolve and I swiftly tore her shorts from her body. She shrieked in shock, but soon our heat intoxicated even her and she was a breathing, writhing, mess of sex and blood. I closed my eyes tightly, locking down the demon poised to suck more out of her than she was able to give, more than I was willing to take. I slipped my hand up the inside of her thigh and spread her slick skin, teasing a finger inside of her. She whimpered and pushed her hips down, hoping I would give her more.
"You are a vixen, I swear," I whispered while her hands began roaming over my stomach. "You are just as dangerous to me as I am to you. And yet, I want you to touch me. I want to make you feel my pleasure… your touch is the one thing I never want to deny."
"You'll never have to," she said, locking her eyes on mine and whether that was our permission or our confirmation or our complete and utter damnation, I could not stop her taking from me what she needed. Abruptly she stood from my lap and knelt on the floor before me.
"Is this okay?" she asked, though she knew as well as I that it wasn't really a question. Her hot little fingers slid back under my waistband, meeting at the button fly of my Levi's. She ran her thumbs along the length of my cock, making me twitch.
I smirked down at her. "Well, I suppose there's only one way to find out."
.:*~*:.
Tricked, manipulated, lied to—these were not things I was used to dealing with. They simply weren't circumstances that I ever found myself in. There were very few beings stupid or strong enough on this planet to mislead an empath—especially one as dangerous as me. I knew of only two and they resided under the same roof I did, hunted the same grounds, and called themselves my wife and brother. After disastrous results the last time they attempted such a thing, I was shocked that either one would attempt to go down that path again.
Alice tried to convince me that she didn't know that Edward would attack Bella. I quickly called her bluff. She said it was an accident—that it was a case of Bella being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Edward had just hunted. Perhaps if there had been more time between his lunch and catching her scent, he would never have reacted that way. I knew better. Alice couldn't completely hide the twinge of guilt that bubbled up inside her, so when I turned and walked away, breaking off eye contact abruptly, it was without regret.
Wisely on his part, Edward was nowhere to be found. I knew he couldn't be far, as distance from Bella was something he could no longer endure. I felt his strong attachment to her, but his needs and wants were of very little importance to me. Bella was my main concern, along with how to get rid of Edward. I was surprised at my calm and control, considering the myriad of violent acts I was contemplating. I successfully split the rage in my brain and heart from the rational and sane sides and tried my best to contain it.
I was engaged in a battle of wills. It was as if there were two sides of me—Anger and Calm. Each anchored himself proudly, stoically standing on a battlefield blanketed in bloody corpses. Anger wore red across his breast and in his eyes. He clutched his torch tightly, looking for Calm to be distracted enough by the carnage to be destroyed.
Calm dripped with acceptance, staring steadily at Anger with fierce golden eyes. He understood that which fueled him, the nature of Anger's zealous acts, but did not have the malice within his being to fight him off. That was the difference between the two. Calm recognized that things were changing and though he wanted nothing to do with it, he realized that there was little he could do. Anger was blind to reason. In his world, nothing existed but the flesh and blood of the one he coveted. Each battle would be fought inside of me, and each would be fought alone. Though both very persuasive, the action I inevitably took would hinge upon which of the two were more convincing.
That Edward behaved as he did was altogether unsurprising and almost understandable. His envy and jealousy were unrivaled and sharp, and also unsuccessfully curbed. The realization that what he felt for Bella was permanent, whether he could control the urge to kill her or not, was the driving force behind my calm. Likes, dislikes, and attachments rarely changed for vampires, but when they did they were everlasting and nothing could reverse the change. It was just one more fact that I had to deal with, whether I wanted to or not, and I most certainly did not. Though I recognized the irrevocable nature of the situation, I was doing everything I could to remain as angry as possible. I hated admitting that there were parts of this that would never go away.
It was not difficult to embrace my anger. Every time I remembered that both Alice and Edward had conspired to occupy me in order to corner Bella I seethed. Calm didn't stand a chance when Anger grew to twice his size and height, becoming such a formidable beast that he scared even himself.
I shook my head, knowing I had no more control, and was having a hard time deciding if I was going to tolerate that. I didn't know where I stood or what, if anything, I could do to remove myself and Bella from the situation completely. I would continue to be angry at Edward for simply existing, and at Alice for trying to pull one over on me. Even if I secretly accepted the way Edward had reacted upon first sensing Bella, it did not mean that I was okay with him being around her, especially alone. I would see to it that Bella was never again left where Edward could get to her.
As I thought of avenues of departure and paths of least resistance, her sleeping body stirred next to me. Her hand darted out from under the soft, white pillow and found its way to my waist. She mumbled something I couldn't decipher and rolled closer, almost wrapping her arm around me. She had not moved since I entered the room an hour ago. I liked to spend this quiet time in her presence. She was happy and content as she slept in the early morning, regardless of what might be going on in her world.
Today was different, so different that I contemplated waking her to see what was the matter. Though she slept deeply, she did so uneasily. Fear, annoyance, and a strong urge to flee hovered over her. They were the same emotions that hovered over me. Floating within those feelings was something new; it was familiar, but something I hadn't felt since I first met Bella. It was a slice of self-consciousness—a worry that she had not or was not going to live up to expectations. I wondered at what could have brought about such feeling. Her comfort here with us must have been becoming precarious. I knew that she would be unwilling to talk about such things. If Bella was anything, she was private.
I could, to a degree, figure out exactly how she was feeling, but without words to clarify, her emotions were really about as easy to read as ancient runes.
She settled again and did not wake.
I thought back to when I entered the house that day after arriving from the salon. I could, once again, tell that something was off. There was a thick cloud of worry spread through the air. I expected no less, really. Immediately, I went to find Bella only to be intercepted in the hallway by Alice. She flitted casually before me, but every vibration she was giving off was tense.
"What happened?" I asked.
She hesitated before responding. "Nothing," she said. Clearly trying to avoid the question, she began filling the hallway with a current of lust. She must have been recalling a particularly erotic moment because her distraction was almost working.
"Alice, come on. Don't do that. Don't lie and don't try to manipulate the manipulator," I said quietly, not really wanting to draw attention or start a fight.
"Nothing happened," she claimed. "Bella was sitting in the kitchen with Esme. Edward was on his way in from hunting. They… met." She acted so calm, like the situation with Bella and Edward was irrelevant.
I tried not to rage at her nonchalance. There had been many times that Alice's visions held true because she had cleared a path to allow them. I wasn't sure if that was her angle or not, but I was most certainly not going to stand back and let Edward hurt Bella. Decisions and timing could always change the outcome of her visions. I was hanging onto that possibility, yet Alice seemed to be feeling infallible lately. I had to remind her that she had seen several futures and only one of them ended with our happiness and love still alive. I was sure that the one she was banking on was not the same one that I was.
"Al, how could you let that happen? You've seen all the different endings. We can't be certain of his control." I was fighting with rationale on my side, but I caught no concern from her. She acted nonplussed, happy even.
"Jasper, I didn't know that they were going to meet until just before it happened."
"You didn't fucking know?" I had to chuckle at her gall as she tried to placate me, attempting pull the wool over my blinking, unbelieving eyes. The air began to thicken into a stifling mixture of hurt, anger, and an aggression that I hadn't felt until the rest of the coven had arrived.
"Okay, take it easy, Jasper." Alice placed her hands on my forearms. They twitched under her grip, but began to relax as she smoothed her hands down to my palms. We stood there, each searching the others' face for something to reconnect our minds and emotions. We had never been this unbalanced as mates and lovers before, and I wasn't sure if we were going to be able to find a way to return to that place.
I squeezed her hands in mine, willing her to continue her explanation. I couldn't comprehend what good could come from Bella's destruction, and Edward was sure to destroy her, for I had felt his fight and it had driven me into nearly the same frenzy. Alice's touch calmed me a fraction. I inhaled through my nose and became overwhelmed with the dwindling scent of fresh rain falling on already dampened branches, an earthly aroma mixed with cream and berry and vanilla, the scent that permeated every surface of my being. Bella. I closed my eyes, trying to organize my thoughts and emotions into words I would not later regret. I may not have been very successful in that endeavor.
"Alice, why weren't you with her? What, did you think that an open invitation for Edward to snack on her was an appropriate gesture?" My volume was low, but my words stirred up the hurt and anger that rattled between us.
"Bella called him to her. She initiated a conversation, Jasper. I don't know why you're so worked up. I was close enough to intervene if it was necessary. You know that I would never let anyone harm her. I love her too." Her face was sincere, but there was a tone of indignation in her voice. She was definitely determined to win and genuinely thought she was right.
I dropped her hands from mine. I wasn't about to relinquish my damaged faith in her motives and I wouldn't let her miscalculations slide this time. It was wrong to put Bella in harm's way. Alice knew that she was forcing her own agenda and that she was hurting me in the process. What she didn't know, however, was that I wasn't going to back down. I was determined to make sure that my feelings were accounted for, because all of this involved my forever as well.
"Alice," I said, tilting my head at her, "what is it about this vision that you want to happen so badly? You've already set the stage. Don't push it any further. You don't know when or if those two will connect and I'm not willing to lose her. Why are you so damned determined to risk it all?" I finished with a growl and walked away from her.
"Jasper, nothing bad is going to happen!" She whispered harshly.
"Then tell me! Give up the information and then stop interfering. You can't just fucking decide what happens here. You're not the only one affected!"
"I've told you all I can, Jasper. Too much hangs in the balance as it is."
She took a step toward me. Her precociousness was maddening, her wide eyes inviting. I resisted the urge to fall into either. She and Edward cared little for my part in this and looked only to further their own roles. As much love as I thought I was feeling, I needed to remind myself that they had betrayed me, lied to me, and would likely do it again without so much as a second thought. That was when it hit me.
"That's why you've been so distant lately. You're detaching yourself." I accused her, finally, of what I'd been trying not to think for a couple of days. When Alice believed something to be inevitable, she often stopped caring. "So, you're just going to let him see her, help him to see her, even if he did try to kill her? We swore we would protect her, and now we're the ones putting her in danger!" My voice had risen without my meaning it to. "That's just fucking perfect, Alice. And when she's dead are you going to feel bad too, or are you going to just shrug your shoulders because it all really meant nothing to you?"
"Jasper, that's enough." Edward's voice came from behind me and jolted awake every defense I had tried so hard to keep at bay. Alice's eyes locked onto mine as she tried to keep my attention focused on her.
"Excuse me?" I barely took another breath.
"Alice is innocent in all this, don't take it out on her. It was my fault," he said.
"Yes, Edward, as a matter of fact, it is your fault. You're a selfish, arrogant fucking newborn and I don't want you here. If it were up to me, you would have been torn and torched the second you were restrained. Bella is not yours and never will be yours. Stay away from her." My fury was palpable and drowned out any other emotion. I knew that they were feeling it too. I turned to him, clenching my fists, preparing to see his pathetic little face drawn down in apology, his insincere way out of everything. He knew that he had no clout with me, so instead I found him leaning against the wall, a self-righteous smile plastered across his smug face.
"Impossible," he said. "She is too irresistible." He pushed off the wall and took a few steps toward Alice and me. "It's already easier to be in the house and it's only a matter of time until her torturous presence is entirely... palatable." He chuckled, and I barely kept my hands from closing around his neck as I slammed him into the wall—two inches of dusty plaster indenting around his shoulders and head. He struggled a bit, squeezing my wrists and pushing against me, surprised that he had not seen me coming. He knew that I was stronger and that he would lose this fight were he to engage in it.
"Jasper, don't!" Alice shouted.
"Stay the fuck away from her." I growled, slamming his head into the wall.
He spit at me. "You can't keep me away from her."
"The hell I can't." I tensed my arms and threw him down the length of the hallway. He somersaulted and landed on his feet, ready to pounce.
Alice stepped between us. "Enough."
Rather than have Edward guess my next move, I waited for him, knowing that his pride had been hurt. I knew how much he detested that I could get around his mind reading. It was a guarantee that he would make the next move. He sidestepped Alice in less than a second and hurdled straight toward me. I ducked, tripped him and held him to the ground.
"You cannot beat me, Edward. You understand nothing of fighting."
He stopped struggling a bit. "I'll beat you when I take Bella."
I was done holding back. Tearing his ugly face from his body was going to be the most rewarding thing I'd done since I killed those three pieces of trash out in the woods. My fingers closed around his neck and I saw the fear in his eyes as his body reacted instinctively, curling, bending, trying to fight me off.
"Stop!" Alice cried as I was torn off of Edward as suddenly as I had attacked and thrown to the opposite end of the hallway. Emmett towered over me, but reached his hand down to pull me up.
"What the fuck, yo? Don't do that shit in here. You know better than that." He eyed me disapprovingly, but did the same to Edward. "And you, you need to stop being so damn mouthy. You're not entitled to anything."
"This is none of your damn business, Emmett." Edward scowled as he lifted himself off the floor. Emmett raised his brow asking, almost begging, Edward to challenge him again. Something had changed inside my brother since the last time I saw him. He'd somehow grown up and succeeded in schooling us on manners and self control.
"Oh, I beg to differ, brother. I live here too, and this is not how shit is going to go down," he said. "Alaska was peaceful and calm and that's what I want to live in. If you want to act like animals, do it somewhere else. Carlisle and Esme won't put up with it here and neither will Rose and I. Don't be so selfish that you ruin things for everyone else." He batted his hand out in front of him in a gesture of frustration and turned to leave. "And seriously, when did everyone get so fucking fond of fighting?"
I kept an eye on Edward. He watched Alice while she stared unbelieving at Emmett as he walked away. Edward's gaze drifted back to me and he silently walked past. I headed for the third floor, finished with this ridiculous altercation and ready to see my Bella.
Alice piped up, stopping us both in our tracks. "It's you fools who are going to cost us everything. We're splitting already."
Edward groaned, obviously reading Alice's mind. "Alice, none of that even makes sense." He looked at me and rolled his eyes. I was surprised that he had the nerve. "She sees us killing Bella, and everyone going off on their own."
Nothing indicated that she didn't believe these events were entirely possible.
She looked at me apologetically. "I don't know how much longer I can even do this." She shook her head, defeated, exhausted and worried. I wanted to comfort her, almost forgetting how angry I was with her.
"This is just another reason to take Bella away from here, Alice!" I tried to ignore Edward's presence as I addressed her. "You, me and Bella. That's all—that's how it's supposed to be. The salon is as good as sold, we have nothing tying us down. It's perfect! We can travel the world together, finally make her one of us and be with her forever. It's the perfect opportunity." She cringed as I wrapped my hands around her arms. "What is it?" I asked.
"It will never happen," she said, her eyes shifting rapidly in their sockets.
"And why not?"
Edward inhaled sharply and growled as Alice looked up into my eyes.
"Because Bella will be dead by Christmas no matter what we do."
I wasn't sure how much validity I put into those words, but they still rang through my head some three weeks later. I'd managed to keep my promise and Bella had been free of Edward. There were still times that I had no control—that I couldn't be home to protect her—and I could not adequately express how frustrated that made me.
The terror of losing her was beyond compare, but as I watched her sleep the fight to keep her was the only thing that mattered.
I looked out into the grey morning mist. It was going to be cold today and there was more snow in the forecast. Bella usually woke up at six in the morning when she had to open the salon. Last night she had set her alarm for five-thirty saying that it was better to be early to catch walk-ins rather than be late and miss them. Her clock read 5:17; there wasn't much time left.
I flipped off the alarm, opting to wake her a more pleasant way and thought back to when we first met Bella and what a mess the managing of the salon had been. Bella had surprisingly turned into quite a shrewd businesswoman and, as any salon owner would tell you, December was a very busy month.