Special Chapter 1: ALMOST KILLING CHRISTMAS!
"HEY JEREMY!" Tonya called out as she walked through the packed mall with Bria. "Over here." waving Jeremy over to them.
"Hey, what are you guys doing here? Christmas shopping?"
"Just a little bit, I got most of mine done after Thanksgiving." Tonya answered.
"I'm just browsing, anyway what are you doing." Bria asked.
"Just making sure AJ doesn't do anything stupid." he answered.
"Speaking of which, where id he?" Tonya asked looking through the crowd.
"SANTA!" AJ's voice was heard over chattering mod of people surrounding the mall santa.
"Dammit!" Jeremy called leading the girls through the crowd. "He found Santa."
"Why's that a bad thing?" Bria asked confused.
"He doesn't believe it's a fake! He said that if Santa can visit every house in the world in one night, then there's no reason he can't visit every mall in four weeks." Jeremy explained as the trio noticed AJ chase Santa out of the mall.
"But why is he chasing him?" Bria asked again.
"I don't know!" Jeremy answered back,
"GET BACK HERE YOU FAT BASTARD!" AJ screamed as the fat man ran into an alley only to be cut off by a brick wall. "Ho Ho, uh oh" he said turning around to see AJ standing only a few feet away with his fists clenched.
"After all these years, I finally caught you, now tell me where it is." AJ ordered stepping forward.
"AJ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Jeremy called out causing his brother to turn his attention away from the fat red man.
Taking the opportunity, Santa pressed his hand against the wall as a bright light forming a circle appeared. Quickly jumping through it he attempted to escape. "Bitch you ain't going nowhere!" AJ yelled following him into the light.
"Dammit AJ. C'mon we gotta follow him." Jeremy said running into the light with Tonya and Bria the light vanishing behind them.
"Oww." Tonya said laying in a pile of snow, "Snow? Why's there snow?" She questioned.
"Hey Tonya worry about that later. Take a look." Jeremy said as the group noticed the snow begin to move around them. Standing up Tonya watched as the snow began to for into large snowmen. "This isn't good."
"What they're just snowmen." AJ said punching one of their heads off.
"Have you ever seen Doctor Who?" Jeremy asked as the snowman's head reformed in a matter of seconds this time with a jagged smile with teeth of icicles. "Run...RUN!" he ordered.
"Running away from Frosty, not exactly how I pictured my day going." Bria admitted.
"Wait, why am I running?" AJ asked, "I can make FIRE!" he yelled stopping in his tracks.
"AJ WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW!" Jeremy called out.
"Just watch!" he replied holding his hands out to the snowmen chasing them. Creating a large fireball in both, he slammed his wrists together combining them into a much larger one. "St. ELmo's Fire!" he yelled sending the large room sized fireball to the snowmen melting everything in its path. "I would've told them to chill out but..."
"Good job, now where are we?" Bria asked climbing up a hill and seeing a large barn beside a small two story house and another large building with smoke coming from the chimney. "UH, guys I think you might want to see this."
"What is it?" Jeremy asked as he climbed up with Tonya and AJ, "No freaking way."
"See I TOLD YOU HE WAS THE REAL SANTA!" AJ yelled, "AND I BET THAT'S WHERE HE MAKES ALL THE PRESENTS!" he yelled running towards the large smoking building.
"God I really hope he isn't right about that." Jeremy stated, "Since he already ran ahead, why don't we take a look around." he added as the other two nodded in agreement. Noticing them shivering slightly as they tried to hide the fact that they were freezing he continued, "Why don't you two check the house, looks like you'll turn to Popsicles. I'm gonna check out the barn." he said making his way there.
Moving as quickly as their frozen legs could take them the two girls reached the door to the house, knocking on the door slightly caused it to creak open "Hello?" Bria called out, "Is anyone home?" stepping through the first floor the two made their way to the kitchen.
"Hey, do you smell that?" Tonya asked as they entered the room. "Smells like chocolate."
"Yeah, you're right." Bria answered noticing the pot on the stove. Lifting the top off of it she look inside, "Jackpot!"
"What did you find?" Tonya asked looking inside as well. "OMG YES!"
"OH it looks like we have guests." A female voice came from the hall as a rather plump older woman stepped into the kitchen with a short bald man.
"We're sorry, we knocked on the door but nobody answered so we just let ourselves in." Tonya apologized.
"No need to fret dearies make your selves at home."
"Thank you Miss." they both replied to their host.
"Oh where are my manners? My name is Martha, Martha Claus"
As Jeremy entered the barn he was shocked at how warm it was compared to the freezing temperatures behind him. "This place is huge, I kinda want to know what they keep in here, probably reindeer." he said chuckling at his own joke. "Oh hell no." he said. Before him was a large red sleigh and connected to it by thick red reins, eight full grown reindeer. "DAMMIT I HATE WHEN HE'S RIGHT!". Sighing he stepped closer to the sleigh gaining the attention of all the animals. Turning to him Jeremy was able to see a small pendant on each of their necks each with one letter on them. "D,D,P,V, then there's C,C,D,B. I wonder what that could stand for." he stated statistically.
Reaching out he touched the side of the sleigh causing the reins to drop and the deer to turn completely around ready to charge him. "You've got to be joking." he said as the first rammed into him before he could react sending him into a bale of straw. "Damn their fast. OK then let's play." He challenged running to the nearest one and landing a kick to its throat. "OK so you're strong too. Good to know."
"Are you surprised? We pull a sleigh with a morbidly obese man around the world."
"Did...you just talk?" Jeremy asked "Holy shit."
"Yeah! What did you expect to see in the north pole?" the deer responded. "The nerve of some people, trying to steal toys from Santa."
"Wait I think you-"
"QUIET! We know all about people like you, stuck on the naughty list so you resort to stealing what you want!" he yelled.
"Like I was sayi-"
"SILENCE!" the deer screamed again rushing to Jeremy. Holing out his hand he caught the deer by the horn.
"Sit DOWN!" Jeremy commanded sending a bolt of electricity directly into his body forcing the deer to lay on the ground. "Good, now as I was saying before."
"DAD!" another voice came from outside, Turing Jeremy saw a flash of red before he was sent flying back into the sleigh. As a younger looking reindeer with a glowing red nose stood over the unconscious one with rage filling his eyes.
"You know what, fuck it."Jeremy stated "I'm gonna fry every one of you." Jeremy threatened slightly angry.
"That so, DELTA formation." Rudolph called to the and charged at Jeremy.
"Blue Jet." Jeremy whispered as the barn was engulfed in a bright lightning flash. When the light died down all reindeer lay on the floor unconscious. Sighing again Jeremy spoke to himself "Jeez I hop the others aren't in any trouble right now."
"HOLY SHIT PRESENT'S!" AJ screamed as he entered the warehouse filled to the ceiling with boxes and candy. Jumping into a huge pile of candy AJ was followed by a short man with pointy ears.
"Sir please stop, those are for the children." the elf pleaded.
Sticking his head out of the pile AJ gave a wide grin. "OK but if I do you have to get me a 80 inch plasma tv." he said.
"Sir we don't have the equipment to build that." the elf stated "if you do not cease I will be forced to call for security."
"So what like five midgets wearing homo erotic sweaters are gonna try and take MY candy?"
"No but," the elf started when he noticed an enormous ape like beast with white fur and blue skin appear behind AJ "He will." Turning around AJ was grabbed by the beast and slammed into a wall. "Allow me to introduce security, his name is Bobo our Yeti. Bobo quickly took the opportunity to freeze AJ's arms to the wall.
"Bobo? That's seriously then name you went with?" AJ asked as he released a small amount of flames from his hands to melt the ice. "man I really hate ice users. I mean seriously they're like everywhere."
"Well what did you expect to see in the North Pole?" the elf asked again folding his arms in front of him.
"I don't know, naked chicks with tig ol' biddies?" AJ answered.
"I'm not sure if you're joking right now or not." he stated.
AJ standing up ignoring the comment, propelled himself at Bobo and landed a powerful flaming punch into his stomach knocking him into the toy stacks causing them to cover the floor.
"Damn, I honestly can't say I didn't expect to walk in on this." Jeremy said walking into the warehouse.
"Oh God not another one!" the elf cried.
"Relax I'm just trying to find a way out of the crazy place." he replied as the elf noticed a burn mark on Jeremy's jacket.
He pointed with a shaky finger, "What happened."
"Rudolph happened?" AJ asked.
"Rudolph happened." Jeremy answered. "But don't worry shorty the reindeer are all okay just... napping."
"You didn't? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?" he screamed as Mrs. Claus and the girls ran through the door to see what the commotion was about.
"Oh dear what happened here?" Martha asked.
Without hesitation AJ pointed to the unconscious Bobo, "you should have seen it. He was like a raging monster, throwing boxes left and right. Eating elves and reindeer treats. He even burned all the socks and sweaters."
"Oh no, that's horrible." Martha stated shocked to hear the explanation. "Santa won't be too happy about this when he gets back. You all should go before you lose the image of Santa you have."
"Wait you said, when he gets back." Jeremy asked. "But we followed him through a portal to get here."
"Oh that wasn't Santa deary, that was Jack. He fills in for Santa at malls sometimes."
"Jack? As in Jack Frost? I'm guessing that makes you Mrs. Clause?" Jeremy asked.
"Indeed it does, now it's been nice meeting the four of you but Santa will be home soon and I don't want you to risk the naughty list this year." Martha said pressing her hand to a wall which formed a circle like the one Jack created and ushered the four through.
"Thanks again Mrs. Claus!" Bria said before the portal closed.
Seconds later a man with a long white beard and a belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly stepped into the warehouse. "HO HO Honey I'm ho-" he stopped seeing the mess of his workshop. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!" he screamed seeing the yeti passed out in the pile, "DAMMIT BOBO!"
AUTHOR'S NOTES: WELL GUYS NOTHING MUCH TO SAY HERE SEEING AS I UPLOADED CHAPTER 13 A FEW DAYS AGO SO ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND IF YOU HAPPEN TO GET SOCKS OR A SWEATER THIS CHRISTMAS WE APOLOGIZE FOR MISSING YOU BOX!