Young Hearts Fade into the Flood
Super duper long chapter ahead. You better review the shit out of this one if you want me to upload fast.
If actual law students or lawyers are reading this fic, please try not to mind my way of using US laws and regulations. Try not to think about the legality of things. Some things I read from constitutional law, other things you come up as you go. It's clearly supposed to look realistic but it really isn't.
You will have me destroy it for you. Destroy this nonsense. Is this nonsense worth becoming a relationship? He's ahead of me regarding everything. He wants to move in with me... Stop it, Donna. Stop it, she thought to herself, spitting bits of her watery toothpaste in the sink.
"Donna? I need to grab a shower too. I went for a huge sweat this morning, remember?" he said twenty minutes later, banging at the bathroom door. "And it's not like I don't risk losing my license to practice law or anything–" he stopped himself mid-sentence hearing her disengage the lock.
"Forry…" she mumbled, opening the door for him. Harvey noticed the toothbrush in her mouth and how she was adjusting and tightening the towel she had wrapped around her body. He thought this to be the cutest sight he had ever seen.
"Is that my spare toothbrush?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Hm, hm," she agreed, lazily with a slight bob of her head. He was beaming and it made her anxiety subside.
He also looked like he wanted nothing but to take that towel off. She rolled her eyes at him and went back to brushing her teeth in front of the mirror. She bent over slightly to get a closer look at her teeth, granting him a better view of her butt. Harvey laughed a little and began to howl.
"Stoph howlin' lika wof ath gotem moon!" she said, utterly exasperated, with a mouthful of toothpaste between her teeth and tongue.
"Just howling at yours, Don'," he smirked and gently brushed the exposed piece of flesh with the back of his hand before heading for the Italian shower. Harvey began slipping out of his tracksuit. Donna kept brushing her teeth while enjoying a good view of him in the mirror. He caught her looking at him from the corner of his eye. She saw him take his boxers off and stopped polishing the inside of her mouth. Her lady parts jumped up a few degrees. He turned the water on and all she could see were water drops running down his back and bare ass. 'I haven't fucked anyone the way I fucked my secretary,' she remembered him say. God, I hate him, she thought as she spat the toothpaste in the sink. She took some water, gargled and stormed out of the bathroom before she did something she wouldn't be able to regret – again – later. And then regret some.
He got out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, wearing his bathrobe.
Fully dressed, she was sitting at the edge of the bed, putting her shoes on. "I have to go home and change. I'll join you–"
"I let Ray know an hour ago. I'll wait for you in the car," he winked at her with his perfectly shaved face, almost dried hair and bright smile. She figured he wouldn't leave her out of his sight.
"Thank you," she said, watching him walk to his closet. "You know…" she began to say, stopping him in his tracks, "I see how hard you try… you want things to go smoothly and to be easy for me."
Slowly transitioning into a relationship? Checked, she thought.
"What's so hard about calling my driver to ask him to drop you off at your place so you won't have to explain why you're wearing the same dress two days in a row?" he asked.
No one will notice, she thought. But she hadn't worn the same clothes two days straight in thirteen years. People would notice.
Slowly dreading every step she'd take? Double checked.
"Does it mean you don't want anyone else to know besides Mike and Rachel?" she asked, uncertainty written over her face.
"I'm not ashamed of our thing if that's what you think. I want no one to know so we can work on us. No complications, no trials and tribulations. But at the same time, I want everybody to know… except you need to figure out what you want," he acknowledged.
In the span of a week, Harvey hadn't stopped surprising her. 'Thing' and 'figuring out what you want' in the same sentence? This was their new arrangement. Those moments were about them and about protecting themselves from the outside world. He was doing his best to make sure no outside intervention would ruin everything for them. They would be the only two people responsible in case things turned sour or for the worse. Well, technically she would be the Eve to their Fall according to what he had said only just a little over an hour ago; not that she didn't agree with him on that.
"Then maybe it doesn't matter if I don't change…" she tried before he cut her off.
"I don't want Malik to know," he stated, bluntly, "the guy will easily pick up on such things."
She cast a questioning glance at him before he added, sighing as he walked back to his closet, "The last thing I want is for him to use my relationship with you to knock me down. He'll say horrible things to you or about you and I know I won't be able to control myself."
"Harvey, he will try, no matter what I wear. He knows there is something between us," she said, standing up.
"What do you mean?" he said, taking a navy blue three piece suit off its hanger.
Donna stared into the distance and reminisced. "When the both of you worked for Cameron Denis, there was this one time where you and Cameron had gone out for drinks and he got into his head that he would just hate your guts, I guess. Then, he accused you and me of being intimate even though we hadn't been… yet. I thought he was jealous at first but then I saw the look in his eyes and he just despised you and your ability to seduce people."
"I'm an idiot," Harvey said, dropping the suit on the bed. "I'm so sorry, Donna."
"You couldn't have known…" she said, frowning.
"Yes, I did," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Remember how the self-centered and obnoxious jerk that I was thought he could have everything?" he asked.
"I think you kind of still think you can have everything," she quipped, surprising herself in the process. She was the one trying to alleviate the situation.
"Well, I had everything, the best cases, I was Denis' hotshot sidekick and you know how I can't keep up with people's names." She could tell he didn't look back on his younger self too kindly.
"I know absolutely everything but this," she indulged him, sensing his heart was in the right place even though he looked like he was about to reveal a monster out of the bag instead of a cat.
"And you know who else I had? The most beautiful secretary," he said, staring her in the eye and kept going, "So when Mike brought me that case, I said I didn't remember the guy. Well, in hindsight, I kind of did… because I overheard him and some other guy talk about you once...and how he wished you went under his desk instead of mine." Harvey closed his fists when he said it.
"What did you do, Harvey?" she asked, fearing the worst.
"I called them out on their bullshit and I told Andy to go fuck himself and that if he ever came near you or worse–" he paused, certain he didn't want to go there. "That I would beat the shit out of him."
"I get that he's a pig but it doesn't mean–" she said before he cut her off, bitterly.
"Well, I had to have it all, Donna!" he added, moving anxiously about the room. "And I knew I wanted you that way and I panicked… so I implied that you and I were together." he admitted.
"As in…" she began, not really needing convincing.
"Yes," he nodded, staring at the ground beneath him. "You have no idea how ashamed I was – am–" he tried to say but she cut him off on the spot.
"This is why everyone was making assumptions about us. Cameron, Bertha and… This is why Malik made it look like I–" Donna said and stopped herself from exploring the bombshell Harvey had dropped on her further. Taking a step back, she put her hands to her face and began pacing the bedroom.
"No, they didn't know. We've always flirted and you know it! That's why they were making sarcastic comments every chance they got. But Malik never told them; otherwise Cameron would have asked me to make you sign a love contract to prevent you from going after me with a sexual harassment lawsuit," he explained.
"I can't believe it," she said, letting her arms fall alongside her body. "You're telling me that, against your better judgment, you told a man who literally called me a whore that you, my boss, were screwing me on a regular basis?"
"I said you and I were in a relationship. And I did it so he wouldn't say or do anything else!" he claimed.
"No, Harvey, you lied because it's your thing, you play people. You didn't do this to protect me!" she said, taking offense and added, "You did this to protect your almighty ego. Like you said, you had to have it all!" she shouted at him and paused before adding, "No harm no foul at the time, I guess."
She picked up her purse and stared at the double door leading into his living room.
"Yes, I lied. I lied because I couldn't stand the way he spoke of you. And I wanted you in that way so, I got weak and jealous," he said, blocking her escape and tried to cup her face with his hands. But she refused his touch and began pacing again, trying to steer clear of him.
"It's that possessiveness... it's sick! And you've been lying to me this whole time. You and I… we… we'll wear each other out." She caught her breath before adding: "For thirteen years you could... never let go of me and I've never been able to move on." She was on the verge of crying; he could tell. There. She resented him. For one innocent lie. For making her long for him for years. Because he had it all and she had nothing.
"I had no right, I know but I wanted to tell you the truth and then… we moved passed the idea of having a relationship outside of work, so I never told you." he said, trying to hold back his own tears. He had hurt her beyond repair; one huge misstep in thirteen years he had been meaning to come clean about for a long time now.
"And if you've kept that for me for so long than maybe you never deserved me at all," she cried.
"I made a mistake keeping it a secret from you but I thought I would lose you if you knew. You were always too smart to get involved with a jerk like me," he said, blocking her pacing and putting one of his hands on her face and the other on her chest – on her heart.
"I guess you'll never know," she trailed off, averting her eyes from his, feeling suddenly more tired than she had in days.
"I love you. I can't let go of you, Donna. Your hair," he said, sensing she was putting up less resistance. He then tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and continued "your heart," and pressed his palm against her chest. He then searched her eyes and uttered, "your passionate and kind eyes. The way you roll them when I say something stupid and…" he trailed off before he gently began kissing the corner of her mouth. He could almost feel her lean into his lips before she pushed him away again.
"Stop Harvey! You doing or saying all those things to me won't change what you've done. You used me. Do you know how that makes me feel?" she cried out.
"Please, Donna, just… don't," he begged her.
"Take a cab. Or you know what? Take your fancy Ferrari Daytona and own up to the legend, I don't care. I'll tell Ray you'll go straight to the office," she said bitterly, throwing him off balance as her shoulder knocked his when she rushed by him.
Harvey was staring at this suit when he heard the front door being slammed shut. Guess I had me destroy it for us, he thought before he rushed to his closet and tore it apart, and making all the suits that were hung tumble to the floor.
Donna had gone home to change but didn't have the heart to give her hair a good brush or to apply make-up. Ray hadn't questioned her about Harvey and had been parked outside her apartment for twenty minutes when she came back down.
He got out of the car and opened the door for her. She thanked him as he closed the door.
Back in the driver's seat, he started up the engine and began driving her to Lexington Avenue. He couldn't take his eyes off the redhead's face in the rear view mirror. The line under her eyes redder than usual. He knew she had been crying under that empowering mascara and eyeliner.
"Are you okay, Donna?" he eventually asked, trying to show compassion.
"I'm fine, Ray," she said.
"You know… he's a piece of work," the driver added.
"You tell me," she huffed.
"But his heart is always in the right place," he admitted.
"When it serves him," she countered, staring absentmindedly at the street.
"Well, sometimes, sure," he began and added, "but we all make mistakes, right?"
"He rarely does," she whispered, bitter.
But Ray kept going as if he hadn't heard her: "Once, I drove him home…maybe three months ago. Argh, I shouldn't say this but… he was drunk as shit, rambling on and on about someone, a woman, who told him she wanted more." he paused, selecting his words carefully.
"He asked me: 'Hey, Ray, what's it like to want more?' or was it something along the lines of 'what does it feel like?' I don't remember… but I told him that sometimes I wish I could have a better car, a better mortgage and a better pay," Ray laughed.
Donna was staring at Ray's eyes in the rearview mirror now. "And then he asked me if I had any regrets?"
A background song had built up inside Donna's ears as she waited for his next words. Playing and playing alongside Ray's words, the sound as scratchy as that of an old record. She held her breath when he spoke again.
"I told him I didn't need more from life." he admitted.
"Why?" she asked, adding a lyric to her song.
"You know why!" he said, taking his smartphone from his pocket and showing her the lock screen. There was a picture of Ray's wife and kids.
"Whatever is going on, it's not my place to discuss Mr. Specter's business or love life. But in all the years I've worked for him, I had never seen him so distraught," Ray admitted.
"So what happened after that?" she pressed him for details.
"Nothing, his expression was blank. I just took him home and we never spoke of it again until–" he paused.
"Until?" she begged him to continue.
"Until he asked me to drop off Ms. Agard once," he said and added, "You know I've always liked you Donna?"
She gave him a small smile in appreciation and he continued, "So when I took him home, I allowed myself to ask: 'is she the more you were looking for?' because I knew he would remember what I was referring to; and he said something that tore at my heart… he said he could never have more."
The song her mind had made up ended on a very abrupt distortion sound. He had brought this on himself but her heart ached for him nonetheless.
Harvey drove his car to the firm and parked it in the underground parking lot. As if fate had decided they were bound to chance meetings, the elevator doors opened onto the ground floor to reveal Donna.
He was watching her intensely as three other people entered the elevator. "Hey," he said, moving to the side to let her in.
"Hey," she said back, getting into the small cabin.
Her song came back on as the elevator started taking them to the higher floors. She was staring at the closed doors but could sense him watching her from the corner of his eye.
The people between them stood as human shields, preventing any other form of communication between the two.
They reached the lobby and she left first. Harvey sighed and blinked a few times before exiting the elevator and following her where she was going anyway: the conference room.
Louis, Mike and Rachel were already there and watched Donna enter the room, quickly followed by Harvey. The beautiful mixed-race woman eyed Donna carefully, casting a questioning glance.
"Let's get on with this. My disbarment starts in two hours," Harvey wasted no time to say and sat down next to Mike.
"Glad to see you're in such a victorious mood," Mike stated, bewildered and added, "witnesses today; decision tomorrow, remember?"
"Okay, mini mock-hearing is on," Rachel said taking control of the meeting, knowing full well that something was off.
"Cute." Louis rolled his eyes.
"We have to prepare you as well, you know?" Harvey said, sending Louis a don't-do-anything-stupid look.
"Trust him, Harvey," Donna cut in.
"Good to know you place your trust in the right kind of people." he said, bitterly.
"What's that sup–" Louis began before Rachel cut him off, shutting everybody up.
"Who wants to go first?" Rachel asked, bringing back a soothing, calming atmosphere to the table. Donna would eventually talk to her but she had no intention of pressing her into doing so yet.
"Who's playing Seidel and Malik?" Donna asked.
"Louis!" Mike smirked.
Harvey's facial expression relaxed when he saw his own hotshot taking the reins.
The disciplinary hearing was about to begin. The jury consisted of five people including Gibbs and the president – or master of ceremony as Alex Williams had quipped a few times – Seidel. Harvey had driven Mike, Louis and Alex to the Madison Avenue building while Rachel, Donna and Katrina had decided to take a cab. But Ray had been waiting for them outside the Lexington building and had offered them a ride. 'Free of charge,' he had winked at the redhead, suggesting his boss didn't know about this tiny little slip.
On the 26th floor, Craig Seidel began the hearing in the dark wooded assembly room by stating a few facts: "I would like to remind the audience that Mr. Specter has never been convicted of felony therefore isn't subject to automatic disbarment. Only Mr. Malik and Mr. Specter are allowed to ask the witnesses questions. This jury will not put Mr. Malik or Mr. Specter to the stand. Any Evidence presented to this assembly is deemed admissible," Seidel paused, took his glasses in his hands and cleaned them before adding, "I will ask you to act as gentlemen and follow the legal precedents on New York State's disbarment hearings. According to Cohen v. Hurley, privilege against self-incrimination is a valid claim if you wish to use it Mr. Specter. The legal question of the fairness of the coming procedure however, cannot be put forth at this hearing." He put his glasses back on and concluded: "No oral motions allowed; only the jury can decide whether to strike a witness' testimony from the record. Mr. Malik, the first witness is yours."
Anita Gibbs read from the witness list: "I call Gary Douglas to the stand."
Gary Douglas rose from his chair and went to sit next to the jury. Moments later, Malik began his line of questioning.
"Thank you Mr. Douglas, I know your trial began yesterday so this won't take long. Mr. Specter has been your legal councilor for ten years, correct?"
"Yes," the Visionary-Data CEO said.
"And you've been meaning to seek representation elsewhere, haven't you?"
"Yes," Douglas admitted.
"Why? Malik asked.
"I suspected Mr. Specter wanted to tank my case. And that the prosecutor, Sean Cahill is in on it."
"What made you think that?" Malik continued.
"The rumor mill is big in Manhattan. Everybody knows Harvey Spector and Sean Cahill have been exchanging favors for years," The CEO let out.
"No further questions." Malik said and went back to his chair.
Harvey who had remained unfazed stood up and closed the middle button of his suit jacket and asked his first question: "Who is representing you now, Mr. Douglas?"
"Mr. Van Dyke," Douglas answered.
"Is Mr. Van Dyke one of those Manhattan rumor mill members? Is anyone else in this room part of that big friendly group?"
"Maybe." Douglas said.
"Answer the question with yes or no, Mr. Douglas," Gibbs said abruptly.
"Yes and yes," Douglas admitted.
"Please, would you be so kind as to indulge us and give us names besides Mr. Van Dyke's?" Harvey asked.
"Andrew Malik and Anita Gibbs," Douglas replied with a cringe-worthy look on his face.
Seidel stopped Harvey's line of questioning and said: "Mrs. Gibbs, do you wish to strike this from the record, considering you are a member of this jury?"
"No, I accept the incrimination," Anita Gibbs said.
Donna could tell Harvey looked more relaxed. Mike, Louis, Rachel, Katrina and Alex all bore happier looks on their faces.
"Why didn't Mr. Van Dyke suggest a malpractice?" Harvey asked.
"You should ask him. Isn't he a witness too?" Douglas countered.
Harvey shrugged his comment off and asked: "Do you agree with the disbarment procedure that was plotted against me?"
Malik stood up and asked the jury: "The witness cannot be allowed to answer that, Mr. Specter is testifying!"
"No oral motion, Mr. Malik! Mr. Specter has every right to give his personal feelings on the legal action taken against him just like you, yesterday, when you said you would use his personal attack on you as proof of his inability to practice law," Seidel warned Malik and stated, "the witness will answer the question now."
"Yes," The CEO said.
"Why?" Harvey asked.
"Because you're not loyal to your clients and you colluded with him against me," he said, pointing his finger at Cahill. "You were going to cost me my company," Douglas said aggressively and added, "and you deserve what's coming to you."
"No further questions." Harvey said and sat back down on his chair.
Anita Gibbs took the witness list in her hands and said: "Mr. Malik, do you wish to call Mr. Van Dyke to the stand?
"Yes," he said and stood up. Charles Van Dyke went to sit where Douglas stood only a minute ago.
Malik cleared his throat and asked: "Mr. Van Dyke, did you poach Mr. Specter's client?"
"Yes," he admitted.
"Why? Your billings are still relatively high." Malik said, moving about the room.
"Going against Harvey Specter is one of my favorite hobbies, I guess," he admitted with a forced laugh.
"I'll ask Mr. Specter's question then, why not sue him for malpractice at the same time and make more money out of it?"
"The poor fellow is going to get disbarred. Stripping him of his money seemed too low, even for me," he explained.
"Did you suspect Mr. Specter and Mr. Cahill of colluding against Gary Douglas when you first approached him?" Malik asked.
"Yes," he nodded.
"Care to explain?" Malik kept pushing.
"I'm aware of Mr. Cahill's antics and his fake enmity with Mr. Specter. I needed more proof to convince Mr. Douglas that the two men would probably collude against him." Van Dyke explained.
"Did you get that proof?" Malik asked.
"Yes, at Jessica Pearson's mockery of a fundraiser," he said and added, "I saw Sean and Harvey having a pleasant conversation over drinks. I don't think this is really appropriate before trial."
"This is not uncommon though, Mr. Van Dyke," Malik stated. Harvey could tell that this wouldn't help his case against him. "Any more proof?"
"Sadly no," Charles said.
"Your witness," Malik said to Harvey.
"Congratulations on your poaching, Charles." Harvey said.
"Thank you, Harvey." The older man replied, grinning.
"I'd like to enter into evidence this video taken by my associate Katrina Bennett the night of the fundraiser. Katrina stood up and gave the tape to the clerk who began video-projecting it.
The entire conversation between Harvey and Sean played in front of the crowd, leaving a few mouths agape.
"As you can see, Mr. Cahill and I were not colluding. We knew Van Dyke was trying to poach my client and make it seem as though I was colluding with the prosecutor on this case. Mr. Cahill is my friend and he knows Jessica Pearson. If I hadn't invited him to this party, Van Dyke would have had more grounds to suggest a malpractice suit to Mr. Douglas. So, I asked Ms. Bennett here to videotape our conversations just in case. You can see me clearly expressing my concern over the poaching and how, therefore, I chose to stop representing Visionary-Data and its CEO, Mr. Douglas," Harvey commented.
"This is an unequivocal bullshit maneuver! You cannot let this slide," Malik shouted.
"Not that I can hold you in contempt, Mr. Malik but I will ask you to remain seated while Mr. Specter concludes his argument."
"I have nothing more to say." Harvey said.
"Let's take a break. We'll convey again in fifteen minutes," Anita Gibbs said.
The room went from silent to loud in the span of a few seconds. Donna quickly exited the room in order to avoid having to speak to Harvey. She would have to, sooner than later, anyway. Rachel followed quickly after her and said, "Donna, wait. Don't worry we don't have to talk about you and Harvey. Let's just go grab a cup of coffee."
Donna sighed and nodded in agreement – her best friend's intuition always, impeccably, spot on.
"It's almost your moment to shine," she joked and added: "Are you okay?"
"I haven't been so scared in my entire life." Donna admitted.
"I would be too," she admitted and repeated, sighing "I would be too.
In the hall, Cahill gave Harvey a pat on the shoulder and said: "That's one accusation they won't be able to hold against you."
"Yeah," Harvey sighed and added "one dismissed, two to go."
"You can do this, Harvey. I know you have it in you. I have to go back to prepare for court but I've written my own testimony to support your case and legendary character. I gave it to the clerk," he concluded, winking at the other lawyer.
Second time someone had used that adjective. This time it made him smirk. "Thanks Sean," he began and surveyed his surroundings before adding, "and take that SOB down for me, will you?"
Cahill winked at him before exiting the hall.
"Hey, Harvey," he heard Louis call him. "I'm up next. Don't worry, I won't let you down."
"Thanks, Louis. And, I'm sorry about earlier... I've had a shitty day," he acknowledged.
"Does that have anything to do with Donna?" he asked.
"How do you know?" Harvey frowned slightly.
"I'm more intuitive than you might think. But, Harvey," he paused and licked his lips before he added, "Tanner won't come in today, so Malik asked him to write a written testimony which he will read in front of the court–", he corrected himself, "ugh – assembly…"
"And this changes things because…" he asked, confused.
"Donna and I will be the last witnesses to speak today. There is no way you can get disbarred now."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Louis," Harvey sighed.
"Have a little faith, Harvey." Louis smiled.
Harvey's phone began to buzz and Louis retreated to where Mike and Katrina were. Smiling at the name of the person calling, Harvey answered with a swipe of his finger and said: "Jessica, so nice of you to show up."
"Harvey! Don't forget not to bring your sunscreen when you come cheering for the Bears. You won't need it," she laughed on the other end.
"I think you got me confused with someone else, I'm a Giants fan – a white man can't switch teams like that," he said.
"Mike just texted me and told me it's going well so far," she said.
"As well as it can," he acknowledged, still doubtful.
"You're Harvey Goddamn Specter, you're indubitably doubtless!" Jessica claimed, trying to cheer her former minion up, and added: "Unless your current state of mind has nothing to do with the disbarment procedure."
"I don't know what I'm doing with Donna," he admitted. "I tried to be honest about my feelings and about something I did in the past that could compromise today's hearing and–" he tried before she cut him off.
"You can have whatever you want with her, Harvey. Because whatever you want, she wants too," she said, omitting the pronoun on purpose. "And if telling her the truth can protect her from Malik's possible accusations then you did the right thing."
"As long as it protects me, right?" he shook his head, hating himself.
"Sometimes protecting someone else means protecting yourself – or was it the other way around?" she said, the ambiguity of her words piercing right through his heart.
"Before you call Louis Litt to the stand, Ms. Gibbs, I'd like to read Mr. Tanner's written testimony and enter it as evidence of Mr. Specter's professional misdemeanor and propensity to revert back to intimidation and physical assault when things don't go his way," Malik said.
"Please, proceed," Anita Gibbs said.
"Thank you," Malik replied and opened the letter. The man stared at the letter a few good seconds before Craig Seidel asked him: "Is something the matter?"
"No, Mr. Seidel. Sorry!" he said and began reading it. "Since this isn't a trial and considering I cannot be here today, I will make this testimony seem as if I were here today. There is no doubt you can call me Harvey Specter's biggest foe. I'm a Yale educated lawyer who graduated at the top of his class. Mr. Specter and I are about the same age and I'm definitely more handsome than he is," he paused, hearing the audience laugh.
This was definitely Travis's letter, Harvey thought, smirking slightly.
"All joking aside, I'm a senior partner at Smith & Devane capable of humility when one is asked to testify for or against another lawyer. Harvey Specter is a formidable adversary. You get as good as you give. If you consider boxing in a ring worth accusing Mr. Specter of physical assault, I will only say this: you're going against the wrong guy."
Travis Tanner didn't mention his issues with his mother. Travis Tanner did give a shit. One could definitely hate with respect, Harvey thought.
"This testimony isn't really helping your case Mr. Malik, do you still want this entered?" Seidel asked.
"Yes," he said.
"Let's call the next witness then," Anita Gibbs stated.
Louis was about to stand up when Malik said: "I would like to call Mike Ross to the stand."
"He cannot do that! He's not on the accusation's list." Harvey cried out as he rose from his seat.
"Yes, he can, Harvey," Mike said.
Harvey blocked him on his way to the stand and asked "How?"
Mike whispered, "I put my name on yours so it wouldn't look suspicious but I didn't think he would call me considering I wasn't on their list."
Harvey nodded at this friend and let him through. Mike went to sit next to the jury. Harvey put his hands against his face, cursing himself for being so out of the game.
"Mr. Ross…we all know you used to be a fraud and that your former boss Jessica Pearson knew about it. So allow me to go straight to the point and remind you that the committee which stands before you is the one that allowed you to become a full-fledged lawyer," Malik threatened and then added: "Do you deny that Harvey Specter physically assaulted former associate Stephen Huntley?"
"How do you know that?" Mike asked, confused.
"Because I know, Mr. Ross! And I have a sworn testimony from Mr. Huntley who is currently serving two life sentences in prison to prove this happened in the work place," he said, handing the letter to the clerk. "Now answer the question, Mr. Ross."
"I don't deny it but–" Mike began before Malik cut him off.
"Do you deny that Harvey Specter physically assaulted name partner Louis Litt in his office? Malik continued asking.
"Again, you're omitting the context in which those situations happened. The firm knew about it and voted to keep Harvey at the firm and–" Mike tried again but Malik was in a raging mood.
"I don't care about the context. The people in this room have to understand at some point that such behavior can under no circumstances be tolerated from a member of the bar. I have no further questions," he concluded and sat down.
"Mr. Specter," Anita Gibbs said and added, making a hand gesture to indicate he could begin asking him questions, "your witness."
Donna saw Harvey glancing at her. That split second told her Harvey was going to do something stupid, probably something that would make or break his case. "No, Harvey, don't," she muttered to herself.
"Mike, do you remember when I asked you to hit me two years ago?" he asked with a saddened look in his eyes.
"Harvey, why is that relevant to–" he began.
"Answer the damn question, Mike," he almost shouted, banging his fist against the table.
"You asked me to punch you and I wouldn't, so you used everything you had on me to make me do it," he said and paused before adding, "and then I hit you."
"Be honest; tell the jury I intimidated you. Tell the jury I intimated my own associate." Harvey said.
"You knew how frightened I was. You did intimidate me," Mike said, unable to look at his friend. "Why are you doing this, Harvey?" the young attorney couldn't help but ask.
"Why did I make you do it?" he asked, discarding Mike's question.
"Because you didn't want me to give up," he admitted, feeling the weight of that moment. Understanding now how his best friend, and mentor, was feeling right this second.
"I have no more questions." Harvey said.
The room fell silent as if frozen in time. Rachel and Donna hadn't realized they had been holding hands this whole time. Louis understood that he would never be called to the stand. This scene had been riveting for Malik. The man had been given more ammunition than necessary for sure and Louis knew it.
Anita Gibbs stared at the witness still seated to her right and told him, "You can go now, Mr. Ross," and then turned to Andrew Malik, "do you wish to call the defense's last witness, Ms. Paulsen to the stand?"
"How could I not after that?" Malik asked rhetorically, taking pleasure in doing so.
"Mr. Malik, let me remind you that you're still in front of the character and fitness committee. I would suggest you behave accordingly," Seidel threatened and added, motioning for Donna to come and sit beside the jury, "Please, Ms. Paulsen."
"It is 7:30 PM, Mr. Malik, so make it short," Gibbs said.
"I will," he said, eyeing Donna carefully as she sat.
Mike rested the palm of his right hand on Harvey's shoulder. His reassuring grip not reassuring in the slightest, Mike thought. Harvey's mind had been drifting further away until he realized Malik had begun asking Donna about him.
"Ms. Paulsen, hi! Nice dress by the way," he said, giving her a slight look over.
"Careful Mr. Malik," Anita Gibbs said, not letting his remark go unnoticed.
He shrugged it off and asked, clearing his throat: "Do you remember Mr. Specter taking a swing at me the night of the fundraiser?"
"You're so full of yourself, basking in your I'm king of the hill fantasy world, making snide remarks about my dress." Donna snapped at him.
"This has been an exhausting day, for all of us Ms. Paulsen. Don't comment, just answer his questions," Seidel said trying to put her back on the right track.
"Yes, I remember," she answered and added, "because you wanted him to react impulsively."
"I don't understand, Ms. Paulsen," he began, "how come my interference triggered such an outburst?"
"You used inappropriate language, loud enough for him to hear and made assumptions about my relationship with Harvey," she stated, switching her gaze back to Harvey.
"And what is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Specter exactly?"
"I'm in love with him," she said, not giving it a moment's thought. Harvey let out a gasp, with his eyes opened wide.
"That is not what I asked, Ms. Paulsen. I asked what the nature of your relationship with Mr. Specter is," he repeated.
"No, what you want to know is whether I've been having sex with my employer for years which is what started this nonsensical disbarment procedure in the first place," she said, effectively letting him know she knew what Harvey told him all those years ago, and added, "so don't even try to add sexual assault to those bullshit charges."
Mike, Rachel, Louis and the rest of the gang were smiling seeing Donna handle her own and defend their managing partner. Malik didn't seem to like it one bit.
"Okay, you got me, Ms. Paulsen, of course why hadn't I thought of that?" he quipped, opening his vest. He licked his lips and a smile creeped up the corner of his mouth, his white teeth gleaming too bright to signal anything good. "So are you moving in with him? Are you going to start a family with him? Cause from where I stand, you cannot have whatever you want with this man. See, I think he's been bullying you into being with him for years and that is not the kind of situation a woman in her right mind would want to be in."
"He's never bullied me into–" she began but he cut her off.
"Tell me, how long did it take the man you put on a pedestal to give you that promotion?" he asked.
"That manipulative son of a bitch!" Louis mumbled under his breath.
"He never would have gone with sexual harassment. This was about unsettling her," Rachel continued her friend's trail of thoughts. They both looked terrified.
"How is that relevant?" she asked.
"Answer the question, Ms. Paulsen." Seidel said and added, "And you Malik better be going somewhere with this or I'll ask the jury to strike this out."
Malik nodded and Donna eventually answered: "Twelve years. It took twelve years."
"Usually, legal secretaries remain legal secretaries. But you never were that sort of secretary. Yet, if you were that special, why did it take him so long to upgrade you?" he asked.
Upgrade…his insinuation would have driven him over the edge hadn't Mike stopped him from standing up.
"Watch your tone – or vocabulary for that matter, Mr. Malik," Anita Gibbs threatened, glancing at the redhead who was shaking to the bone and finding herself on the verge of tears.
"I'll tell you why. You're just another pawn. One of his dearest; but a pawn nonetheless," he cried out, "This man uses people under false pretenses. Everything becomes personal with him and your reaction, Ms. Paulsen tells me that I'm right. And this, members of the jury, is my closing argument. The defense can have her."
"Well, Mr. Malik–" Seidel began only to be interrupted by Gibbs.
"Mr. Specter, the witness is yours," Anita Gibbs said; the prosecutor was probably unaware of the impact her words would have on the man who was leaving his side of the room.
"Donna… I," he trailed off, "thank you."
He thought about Jessica's earlier words for a moment and ended up asking: "If I may be so bold as to enquire, using Mr. Malik's own words, do you remember when I 'fake-fired' you a few years back?"
"Why bring this up?" she asked, confused.
"Answer however you want to answer that." he said giving her a small smile.
She didn't like that smile. That smile was hiding a heart that sang of sadness.
"I wasn't fake-fired. You had to fire me because I had made a mistake. But you didn't have it in you to do it yourself. So you asked Jessica to do it for you." she explained.
"And I remember telling you she wouldn't let me do it. She not only did it to protect the firm, but she also did it to protect me, because she knew it would hurt me more than anything else. Sometimes… protecting yourself means protecting someone else," he paused, turned around to face the jury and said: "I'll give you my closing argument now if you don't mind, given the circumstances."
"Was your closing argument final, Mr. Malik?" Seidel asked.
To which Malik replied: "Yes, Mr. Seidel."
"Then proceed, Mr. Specter." The president said.
"You were given the power to investigate the charges against me. I hope you will see that I'm just as flawed as anyone else here. I've done horrible things. I have a chip on my shoulder, that's certain. But maybe this is part of the reason why I made it possible for a good man like Mike Ross to become a lawyer. He's the smartest of us all. Maybe this is why Louis Litt ended up becoming one of my closest friends because if you know our history together, you'd know it was a long shot. This man has been trying to become a better man, he's an example to us all." he paused, licking his lips before he switched his gaze to Donna, "But she… she guided me through it all and I failed her. Her grievances against me are valid."
Her teary eyes bore into his soul like a knife in his guts. "Andrew Malik is right about one thing though, she never was that sort of secretary. She's the kindest and most loyal person I know," he ended up saying, never breaking eye contact until he addressed the jury one last time: "You cannot be a good lawyer if you care about people, but over time I've come to learn that you cannot be the best without caring. So, if my inability to control my emotions on several occasions gives you enough cause to disbar me… then do it. But don't use my relationship with my former secretary and Mr. Malik's inherent jealousy as grounds for it."
"Do you have anything else to say regarding the possibility of you getting disbarred, Mr. Specter?" Seidel asked.
"Only that these people are a pretty good summary of who I am as a lawyer." Harvey said, leaning in to give Donna a kiss on the cheek. The woman jolted slightly in response. Startled by the kiss, she looked around her and saw the entire room staring right back at her.
"Very well," Seidel cleared his throat and concluded the hearing by saying, "we'll convey again tomorrow and give this assembly our decision."
"I need some air," Harvey told Donna with a crazed look on his face and added, "Yeah, it'll do me some good."
Donna didn't even have time to stand up that Harvey had stormed out of the room. She tried running after him, taking her heels off but those efforts would be to no avail. He had already taken one of the elevators.
Moments later, Rachel saw Donna outside the building. She was fast approaching when she saw her friend break down in tears. Donna fell on her knees.
"Donna!" Rachel called after her and instantly pulled her into a hug.
"I do want to move in!" she exclaimed between sobs.
"You're not making any sense, Donna. What are you talking about?" Rachel asked, worried.
"I want to be with him, I have to tell him," she said, responding to her friend's embrace.
"Where did he go?" Rachel asked.
"I don't know," she cried in her friend's arms and kept on repeating, "I have to be with him, I have to be with him."
Until there was no point in saying it to a car-filled street anymore. The sound of tires bounced off the city of concrete walls; echoes disappearing into emptying streets. Darkness had settled upon endless traffic lights. Red lights after green lights after stop signs. There were fewer people to count on the sidewalk or crossing the streets of Lower Manhattan. It was better this way. No one would be concerned about a forty-plus year old woman crying in another woman's arms in the middle of the sidewalk. "I have to be with him," she repeated, her voice muffled by the sound of fast cars; until there was no point in saying it at all, for a black Ferrari Daytona had come crashing into a traffic light at a high-speed at the corner of Madison Avenue and 23rd Street.
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