Author's Note:
Meh too lazy to thank everyone but thanks a lot and don't forget to follow me on twitter/instagram for updates: x_love_emily_x
Love ya'll, Emily, xoxo
After my outburst I spent a lot of time in my cell and no one bothered with me. I spent the time thinking about what to do next. Was mine and Daryl's relationship salvageable or did he think I was crazy just like the rest of the group? I sat and thought for what for eternity. When I thought I would mentally combust if I thought for another second I got up and left my cell. It hurt when everyone in the room snapped their heads to look at me. I wasn't a dangerous animal who was ready to kill, what they didn't understand was that I was just hurt. They hadn't gone through what I had so I can understand that they can't comprehend the way I feel. "Look, I'm sorry about my…little outburst, I'm just dealing with a lot of things right now. I never meant to act like that." I said.
"You're fine, we understand, you're a victim of some terrible things." Glenn said.
"You see, that's just the thing, I don't want to be victimized, so what if I was…raped." I choked out. "I have to deal with it on my own. Don't sympathize with me." I said.
"Aliyah, you're not ok, you need to take a step back and heal." Rick said.
"I'm not broken; I'm just as good and as useful as I always have been."
"I'm not disagreeing but if you don't come to terms with what has happened, you'll regret it once it all comes crashing down on you."
"Maybe you should take your own advice." I said. Rick didn't know what he was talking about; he's almost operating the crazy train. I looked around the room searching for the one person I needed to fix things with.
"He's with Merle." Shane said.
"Thanks." I said and walked away. I wasn't fully comfortable with the group because I knew they weren't comfortable around me.
Finally I found Daryl talking with Merle about plans. "Hey, I figured you'd want this back." I said slipping off Daryl's leather vest. He grunted and took it back but didn't put it back on. "Look, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked and nervously bit my lip. He raised an eyebrow at me but got up and I walked outside, his footsteps following me. I stood facing the fence, my back towards him. I was intent staring at the Georgia sky as the sun plunged into the depths of the unknown and made way for the moon. "I didn't mean it." I said. Once again a grunt in response was given. "I'm foolish really for a lot of reasons. Thinking my rape was nothing was just one of them but mostly because I truly believed there was hope for us. I thought that there was an us but every time I open up something happens to make me regret it. Daryl, I thought I felt love for you, well I knew I did but I thought it was returned. I thought maybe just maybe you weren't the unemotional asshole you came off to be. I feel bad for you Daryl I do. People like you aren't born the way you are. I hate the person who did this to you; there is no excuse for turning a person cold. I know something terrible happened to you and I'm sorry. I'm not going to sit around and feel bad for myself anymore. Fuck this life by this point I have no reason for living, I'm not going to kill myself, I'm just going to be the ruthless bitch I should be. I'm so sick of having my emotions fucked. So, no more me and you, you have to understand that right?" I asked. He was silent. After a minute I turned around even though my lips were trembling and my eyes were once again watery. Daryl's eyes displayed no emotion like an empty book.
"Say it to my face and maybe I'll believe you." He said. I looked down.
"No more me and you Daryl, I can't." I said. His rough calloused hand firmly squeezed my jaw. He forced me to look him straight in the eyes.
"I said say it to my face." He demanded. I stared at him for a moment it was then I realized I was wrong, everything I said was wrong. Daryl was the opposite of what I thought he was. I shook my head and looked down letting my tears hit the concrete. Since when did I become so blind? I squeezed my eyes together before looking back up at Daryl. I was such a disappointment.
"I'm sorry." I said.
"You say that a lot." He said.
"I'm delusional and possibly the most brainless person or walker on this planet and I'm just so fucking confused." I said once again closing my eyes, a reflex that I had. I could barely face myself, let alone Daryl. I then felt Daryl's soft breath rush over my skin, when I opened my eyes his lips were millimeters from my face. He slowly closed the distance between us and his warm lips were interlocked with mine. I ran my hands through his hair as his arms wrapped around my waist. His tongue brushed against my bottom lip as my tongue met his, our tongues entered a war fighting for dominance. When we needed air I began trailing kisses down his jaw as his hands slipped under my shirt and caressed my sides sending me trembling. I kissed his lips once and pressed my body against his. This was just what we needed to work out our frustrations with each other. I felt his hardness press against me and I moaned as he bit my neck. "Daryl." I whispered through my jagged breathing. "I want to do this." I said and lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it onto the ground as Daryl stripped his shirt and he then moved to unclasp my bra as I bent down to pull off my sweats. I pressed my breasts against his chest and bit my lip and I attempted to sexily gaze up at him.
"You're sure you're ready?" He asked his voice a deep husky tone I hadn't heard before.
"I need this more than you would know." I said pulling him closer to me. I pulled us down to the ground and I laid on the concrete as Daryl took off his pants. My eyes widened as my eyes roamed his body. He lowered himself so he was hovering above me. I pushed his wrists so his body collapsed onto mine I didn't care that the breath was knocked out of me, I was already breathless. The skin against skin contact felt completely unreal to me and I arched my back to move things along. I noticed him trembling, he was nervous but it was adorable, he was obviously never this close to someone before. He slowly entered me it was gentle, nothing like my rape. I needed to be shown a good time so I could forget about the bad. "Mm, Daryl." I said as he got into a steady rhythm. Our breathing soon became ragged and fast, the inevitable was happening, I was on the edge and as I felt Daryl twitch inside me I wrapped my legs around Daryl and screeched in pure ecstasy. I let myself climax, Daryl was a true gentleman, letting me finish first. He quickly pulled out of me. I looked at him confused but when he came on me I then understood, he was more responsible than I was. I sat up and kissed him long and hard. "You were amazing." I said. He shrugged and pulled on his clothes. "Daryl, seriously, you're so amazing in every way." I gushed.
"Don't lie." He said as he buttoned his pants. I stood up and put one hand on his shoulder and traced his scars with the other. He tensed.
"I would never." I said. "Relax, I would never hurt you in a million years." I said.
"Don't touch me." He said.
"We aren't go through this again, we just fixed us, let's keep it that way please." I pleaded. I could hear baby Judith's cries from the prison. "Also, let's be thankful you were smart so we wouldn't end up with one of those." I said rolling my eyes and quickly throwing on my clothes.
"Whatever, let's go inside." He said. I smiled and followed him inside for once things were going right but I wasn't dumb enough to think it'd last forever.