The song featured in this chapter is "Love Is On the Way" by Saigon Kick.

As tired as Logan was of driving, five minutes later he was relieved to be safely behind the wheel again with plenty of distance between himself and James. "Did you get a fork for that?"

"I did. Napkins, too."

"Good. Don't make a mess."

"I think I'll save it for later." James settled the container of cheesecake near his feet.

"Why?"

"Just not hungry right now. It'll keep. So exactly how much longer do I have with you?"

"Well, with the hour layover in Mesquite, we should arrive in L.A. in about seven hours."

"That's still a lot of driving, and it's already late. You sure you don't want to get a room for the night?"

"Are you trying to seduce me, James?"

"I'm trying to get there alive, Logan. By that time you'll have been driving for almost twenty-four hours. It won't kill us to get a room like we did last night."

"I know exactly which part of last night you want a repeat of."

"Yeah, who's the one that keeps making it about that? I'm just thinking you could use some sleep. Get a room with two beds if you want, I'll stay in mine."

"We're not getting a room."

"Fine. But don't push yourself too hard. The second you start nodding off at the wheel, I'm driving."

"You are not driving this car."

"Then we get a room. Take your pick."

"Neither. I'll be fine."

"If you say so."

"I do."

"Fine."

"Good."

The car shot down the highway, Logan purposely thinking about anything else rather than what might happen if they ended up in a room for the night.

About an hour from Mesquite, James rolled his window down to stick his head out.

"What are you...?" Logan began, then the head became half a body when James unbuckled his seatbelt. "James! Get in here! Are you crazy?!"

After another few seconds, James settled back into the seat. "I'm trying to look at the stars."

"You can do that through the windshield, they're everywhere."

"Yeah, but I can't find the ones Mom used to show me. Stars don't die, do they?"

"Eventually they burn out, yes, but do you know how to identify one star from another outside of a constellation?"

"That's what I'm looking for, a constellation. Three of them, actually."

"If I wasn't driving, I'd help you find them."

"I wish we had service out here. I could look them up on my phone and try to match up the patterns."

"I'm sorry."

Seeing that James was honestly disappointed, Logan scanned their surroundings for a place to park. The closer they got to Los Angeles, the less his hurry was to get there, and he knew it was most likely due to his anxiety but didn't want to dwell on that. Off the main highway was a service road that led toward the hills, and Logan slowed to take the turn-off.

"Where are we going?" James asked suddenly.

"Not far."

Logan drove the car about half a mile from the highway and parked. "Now I just have to hope nobody else comes this way, though I think there's enough room for someone to get around me."

"What are we doing?"

"We're going to find your constellations," Logan grinned, opening his door. "Come on."

"Seriously?!" James' expression made the stop worth it. "Don't forget the keys!"

"I'm grabbing them. Come on, sit with me on the hood."

Logan hitched himself up onto the warm metal, grateful it wasn't hot enough to burn. James started to follow, then reached back into the car.

"I'm ready for my cheesecake now."

"Okay," Logan chuckled. He held the to-go container while James got settled next to him.

"Hand that over. Wait, open it."

"You open it."

"No, Logan, let me..."

James reached into the right pocket of his jacket and came out with the half-melted candle and a book of matches.

"Where did you get those?" Logan asked suspiciously.

"The last gas station." Once the lid was flipped open, James stuck the candle into the soft cheese mixture. "Hold it steady."

Watching with an amused smiled on his face, Logan knew better than to tease James about this.

"Are you gonna sing to me this time?" James wanted to know.

"What are you talking about? We sang to you this morning."

"You didn't."

"I was too busy filming. If it wasn't so dark out here, I'd film this, too."

"So sing to me instead. It's dark enough that I can't see your face, so you don't have to be embarrassed."

"The light from the candle shows you my face."

"Barely. Come on, sing the song."

"James, this isn't the reason I pulled over. We're supposed to be-"

"For me?" James begged in a pleading tone. "Just once."

"I don't know why you need—"

"Hurry, before the candle melts all the way."

"We agreed my singing is horrible. And wait, I sang to you last night! At the motel!"

"One line. Come on, Logan, just do it. You'll never have to do it again and we're still under the 'What Happens On This Trip Stays On This Trip' rule."

Taking a deep breath to keep from decking James, Logan leaned back against the windshield and closed his eyes. "You're pushing it."

"Shh, just sing. My birthday's over in a few hours."

Wondering if James had spent a lot of birthdays with no one singing to him, Logan gave in. He cleared his throat and sang the words very quietly. In the middle of nowhere James had no trouble hearing it, and James' candlelit smile when Logan reached the third line touched something in Logan's heart. James was happy, his eyes twinkling and his smile bright, when Logan finished the song.

"Thanks, Logan."

"Sure. Make your wish."

"I already did. It's not gonna come true."

"Can't hurt to wish for it again, though, right?"

"I guess."

James closed his eyes while his lips moved again, Logan trying to read them but it was impossible in the dim light. The candle was blown out, James reaching up to pull the short nub that was left from the dessert. He set it aside in the container, then picked up the fork. "You're helping me eat this."

"Somehow I'm not surprised. Let me grab some water from the car, though."

When Logan returned, two bites were already devoured and a third was waiting for him. He opened his mouth for James, agreeing that the cheesecake was yummy when asked (though that was a word Logan would never have used himself).

"Still scared?" James wanted to know.

"Yeah," Logan sighed, "but I'm trying not to think about it."

"Okay. Let's look for my constellations instead."

Together they searched the heavens between bites from the container and sips from the water bottle, Logan managing to point out two of the three James requested. It was James who found the third, pleased with himself as he set aside the empty box and fished the candle from it to return it to his pocket. Rather than remind James the candle couldn't be re-used again, Logan instead kept his mouth shut about that when James slid an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer; James probably wasn't keeping it for that purpose anyway.

"We should get going," Logan stated, making no move to return to the car but resting his head on James' shoulder.

"Just five more minutes of this. It's peaceful."

It was. Logan relaxed so much that his eyelids began to droop, James' fingers tracing patterns on his neck soothingly. At this proximity Logan could smell the shampoo again, inhaling deeply until the combination of touch and scent woke his body up.

"I know what you're doing," he whispered against James' neck. "It's not going to work."

"Three more minutes," James said softly. "Let me enjoy this moment."

The problem was that even two more minutes of this moment would have Logan in James' lap, and it astounded him that anyone could have such an effect on him. The night before it had been a struggle just to kiss James and now it felt natural. If James tipped Logan's head up even the slightest bit, their lips could meet and why was he even thinking about that?

Then James did just that, using fingers in Logan's hair to tip his head back but it wasn't his lips James was aiming for; a warm mouth traveled down to the sensitive skin at Logan's neck to suck gently before teeth scraped as well, little bites that had Logan crying out and squirming under the attention.

"James, no, you have to stop," Logan whined, even as his head fell further back and his hands slid under James' jacket to run up the muscled back. James' mouth continued to move while Logan's breathing turned harsh, one hand slipping between Logan's legs to cup him.

"You're so hard," James whispered. "Please, Logan, let me show you. You need this, need someone to show you it's not a bad thing. It would be so beautiful with you."

Logan's hips arched up into the touch, and when heat seemed to travel at light speed toward James' hand, Logan gasped before pushing him away.

"You almost came, didn't you?"

Logan shoved himself off the hood, needing air and space and anything but James.

"Logan, it's okay. Why does it scare you so bad? It's natural."

"Because it's a loss of control," Logan snapped as he paced. "When you touch me, I don't think. It's like nothing else seems to matter and that isn't right."

"It's exactly right, that's how it's supposed to feel. There's nothing wrong with allowing yourself to lose control for five minutes."

"There's everything wrong with it, James. Get in the car, we're leaving now."

"Is it me? Is that the problem, I'm not good enough for you?"

"Don't make this about you, it's my problem and I'll deal with it when I find the person I'm meant to be with."

Logan popped the locks and wrenched the car door open to slide behind the wheel. He started the engine, James hopping off the hood and grabbing the trash but not moving to the car right away, and Logan didn't rush him; the moonlight had been bright enough to show Logan the flash of hurt on James' face and he didn't want to dig any deeper to the cause.

After climbing in and stowing the container in the trash bag, James buckled his seat belt. "You know, you're too stubborn for your own good. That astrology stuff is right."

"We have about an hour to Mesquite, and there I'm going to sleep. I would appreciate it if you didn't try to seduce me in the meantime."

"Don't worry, I won't ever touch you again."

The last hour of the ride was spent in silence, James as usual fascinated by whatever he saw out his own window. Logan stomped down on the overwhelming urge to comfort him or hold his hand, not wanting to give James any reason to think he was weakening.

Five minutes before Mesquite, James suddenly spoke. "Where's that aux cord?"

Logan had been fighting fatigue and the heaviness of his eyelids, and though his first instinct was to deny James music, he changed his mind because it might wake him up a little. "In the glovebox. What are you going to play?"

"Some music that my mom used to play when I was kid. Before she changed. I have a playlist of all those songs I can remember, and sometimes when I miss her, I..."

James shrugged, not having to finish for Logan to understand. He located the cord and figured out where to plug it in, then attached his phone to it. "How do I make this work?"

"Hold on." Keeping one eye on the road, Logan pressed a few buttons on his dash. "We're almost there, though, so you won't get much time."

"That's okay. This one was always my favorite."

The car was suddenly filled with a simple guitar melody, Logan wondering if James was going to sing. He couldn't decide if he'd enjoy that or not, but when the lyrics came in, James went back to silently staring out the window. "I'm sorry that you miss her."

James nodded slowly, gaze traveling up to the sky as the words of the song stretched between them.

Hold me darling, touch me now

Let the feelings free tonight

Logan went rigid in his seat, coldness washing over him. Had he really fallen for this? "One of your mom's favorite songs, huh?"

"Yeah. This song was popular around the time we were born. Sometimes I wonder if it reminded her of the early days with Dad."

Love is on the way, I can see it in your eyes

Let's give it one more try tonight

James still wouldn't look at him, and that at least set Logan at ease a bit. He had no doubt this song had been chosen for a specific purpose, though.

Time of season wipes the tears

No rhyme or reason, no more fears

Fear was the real issue here, wasn't it? Logan got scared every time his feelings threatened to escape his control; he'd lived most of his life keeping them under lock and key and working hard to do so. He never again wanted to feel anything close to what he did when he thought his mother would die.

It had worked beautifully until James came along. While Kendall pushed him incessantly to try new things, he also understood the reasons for Logan's fears and respected them enough to back off when Logan needed him to. Other than a few times in their friendship, when Logan was suffering because of his inability to express emotions, Kendall limited his harassment to new experiences. Sex was outside that scope, though, because Kendall wasn't the person to teach him about sex and knew it; Kendall had always said that when the right person came along, Logan wouldn't be able to deny it any longer.

All the dreaming is far behind

You are here now, and everything's all right

How did James manage to make him feel safe after two days in a car together, much of that spent in aggravation? And how was it that Logan not only allowed physical touch from him, but craved it in times of fear? James was possibly the most irresponsible person Logan had ever met. He was unclassy, obnoxious, conceited, domineering-

Logan was assaulted with a sudden vision of James standing over him, tender and yet ready and willing to make him face those fears without letting up no matter how much he wanted to run. Heat rushed up through Logan again.

Love is on the way, I can see it in your eyes

Let's give it one more try tonight

Hands tightening on the steering wheel, Logan fought the panic that accompanied that heat. He would never be able to live a normal life if he allowed it to overwhelm him every time he was attracted to someone.

And in the morning I'll be gone away

All the things I left behind

If you need me, I'll come night or day

Let's stop the hands of time

As James had mostly likely known would be the case, the lyrics hit home. James would be gone the next morning. The thought filled Logan with more fear, because somehow James had become the one person who could teach him how to live.

Love is on the way, I can see it in your eyes

Let's give it one more try tonight, baby

Love is on the way, I can see it in your eyes

Let's give it one more try tonight

As the music faded into silence, Logan reached a decision. It was time to stop running, time to clear the hurdle that he stumbled over every time he came anywhere near it. Already feeling tendrils of fear slip into his veins, Logan exited the freeway to scour what he could see of Mesquite, Nevada.

"Do you already know of a place to sleep?" James questioned, speaking over the next song that played automatically.

"I'll find a place. We passed through another time zone, just so you know."

"We did? So we're now officially on California time?" James grinned.

"We are." Logan drove down a main boulevard, quickly realizing lodging wouldn't be an issue at all; they were, after all, only an hour away from Las Vegas.

"Why are you tense?" James asked, gaze narrowed as he reached out to shut off the music and disconnect his phone.

"I'm tired," Logan answered honestly, otherwise avoiding the question. A new fear had cropped up, James' earlier words coming back to haunt him.

Don't worry, I won't ever touch you again.

What if he'd meant it? What if he was tired of Logan being a tease and had decided Logan wasn't worth the hassle? Yes, he was starved for sex, but even he admitted he had standards. What if Logan no longer met those?

"Logan, what's going on? Why are you starting to panic? If you're thinking about school again, just-" James halted his advice in mid-sentence when Logan turned into the parking lot of a small hotel. "Is this where you're sleeping?"

"Yes," was all Logan said. He found a parking spot near the check-in and opened his door, needing to move because nervous energy was building up. "Come on."

"Oh, thank god. I have to pee."

After making sure that Logan didn't leave the keys behind, James caught up with him and automatically slid an arm over his shoulders. It only lasted a few seconds, though, before he remembered their conversation in the desert and dropped the arm, putting distance between them as they walked.

Logan reached out for his hand, holding it tightly and relieved when James eventually returned the grip, though he was obviously hesitant to set Logan off again. "Talk to me, why are you freaking out?"

The closer they got to the hotel's entrance, the harder it was to breathe. Was he really going to go through with this? What would be the harm in waiting another year...or fifty?

"No. I'm not waiting fifty years," Logan muttered under his breath.

"What? Dude, talk to me, what is-"

Logan stopped their motion suddenly to lean against a wall near the front doors. "Kiss me."

James opened his mouth, then closed it again, taken aback.

"James, kiss me, I can't breathe and I'm scared and the only thing that-"

Not needing a third invitation, James dipped his face down to kiss Logan softly, and like magic the panic began to recede because it was so difficult to focus on anything else when James' lips were on his. Logan opened his mouth wider, craving the peace that descended when James drove all thought from his head, and James groaned before sliding his tongue in to mingle with Logan's. Having cleared this particular hurdle already, Logan met the kiss eagerly and welcomed the lust that rose with it until James pressed up against him, trapping him to the wall with such delicious friction that he gasped. The sensation was intense enough that it scared him into panicking yet again, and he pushed James away gently to catch his breath.

"I'm not going to apologize for that, Logan; you asked for it."

"I know," Logan panted. "Go."

James moved toward the doors but reached back for Logan, who gripped his hand to follow. Once inside, James glanced around. "If I was a bathroom..."

"This way." Having spotted a sign directing them to the lobby, Logan tugged James along in that direction. "Don't even think about it," he warned when James slowed near the slot machines. "I'm not going to jail for you."

"So you've said a thousand times. But hang on, I think I have a quarter somewhere..."

"Keep moving." Logan pulled harder, leading a pouting James away and relieved when they reached a front desk that was free of other guests. He stepped up to the woman who smiled pleasantly at them. "Checking in."

"Sure, do you have a reservation?"

"No, I'm sorry. Is there anything available?" Logan didn't have to look behind him to know James' eyes were most likely popping out from shock.

"Of course." Her fingers worked over a keyboard. "Two guests? How long will you be staying?"

"Just the night."

"Do you prefer one bed or two?"

Logan hesitated only a second before replying. "Either is fine."

"Did you finally lose your mind?" James whispered into his ear.

"I think so," Logan nodded, digging for his wallet to pass over his license and bank card.

"Please tell me we can kiss again," James said into his ear, sending shivers down Logan's spine. "I can't spend an entire night in a room with you and not kiss you. I know you're tired, and I swear I'll let you sleep, but just twenty minutes. Ten, even."

The woman smiled again before sliding his cards across the desk. "Thank you, Mr. Mitchell. Here are your room keys, and you're on the tenth floor in the southwest corner. Elevators are to your right."

"Thank you." As if on autopilot, Logan returned the wallet to his pocket and headed to the right, fear almost paralyzing him but it was better when James kissed the back of his neck lightly as they waited for the elevator.

"What about our luggage?" James asked.

"It would be smart to go get it now."

The doors slid open to reveal an empty car, James pushing him into it before selecting the proper floor. "Did I tell you elevator sex is on my bucket list?"

"Things I don't need to know, James."

A wet mouth fastened to the side of Logan's neck from behind, Logan crying out as shudders once again wracked his body so that he was forced to lean forward against a wall. James pressed him closer to it, using his hips to pin Logan in place while his teeth bit down hard enough to hurt.

"Fuck," Logan gasped, James letting up on the pressure just enough to slide his hand around and squeeze between Logan's legs, making Logan cry out again.

"You can't tell me that you're not smart enough to know what's going to happen if you close yourself in a room with me all night. Not after everything we've talked about. If you want me to go back to the car and sleep there, I will. Give me the keys now or forever hold your peace."

"I'm scared," Logan admitted, even while his body was screaming with need. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can. You're going to."

The doors opened and James dragged Logan out of the elevator and down the hall, snatching a key from his hands when they arrived at the correct room. The light was thrown on long enough for James to get a quick idea of the room's layout, then they were in darkness as he flipped the switch down and shut the door behind them. Immediately Logan's neck was under attack again, James so brutal that Logan knew he'd have to wear high-collared shirts for the next week as he tried to stay upright through the waves of heat weakening him.

James kept him steady, though, holding him up from behind. Logan pressed back against James, tipping his head back as well and focusing on nothing but the struggle to breathe. Fear warred with need, the dizziness returning but Logan wasn't sure which was causing it at this point.

"Relax," James whispered. "I promise I won't hurt you."

"I know," Logan managed. "I trust you. It's just...I can't breathe. My chest..."

"Stop thinking. Do I need to kiss you again to make that happen?"

"Maybe. Yeah."

Logan was roughly spun around and backed up against a bed, James pushing him down onto it and stretching out over him so that Logan had no choice but to lay down as his mouth was devoured again. He was trapped and it was frightening, but at the same time it was a comforting weight on him, just as it had been the night before in another room. Still, it was too much, and he pushed James up slightly with hands on his chest. "Don't you need to pee?"

"Like I'm giving you a chance to run? Uh-uh. You brought me here for this reason, you-"

"You seduced me with a song."

"Whatever it takes," James agreed. "The words were exactly what I wanted to say but didn't know how."

"Is it even a song your mom likes?"

"Yes. I didn't lie about any of that. I haven't lied to you about anything from the moment we met, and I'm not lying to you now when I say that if you don't cross that line, Logan, you'll be scared for the rest of your life. Your body is more than ready; it's your mind that's stuck."

"I know," Logan admitted. "I don't know how to cross that line."

"That's why I'm here." Kissing Logan tenderly, James added, "I'm here to show you."

When James dove in for another kiss, Logan held him off. "Go to the bathroom."

"No way."

"James, I have to, too. I promise I won't run away, but neither of us is going to be comfortable if we're struggling with a full bladder."

"Run and I'll find you," James warned, lifting himself from the bed.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm scared, but...I want to do this."

"Good."

James flipped on a light in the bathroom, nearly blinding Logan for a second. "Wait."

"What?"

"Do you have...whatever you need?"

With a smirk, James winked. "I'm always prepared for that. You're not the only Boy Scout in the world."

"But is it in the car?"

"Nope, so don't be looking for excuses to run out there. My jacket has many pockets."

The door closed, leaving Logan in darkness again and reminded of what he was about to do with a young man who'd had more than his fair share of sexual partners. What was he thinking?

"I'm an idiot," he said to the empty room. "It would be smarter to find someone who hasn't hooked up with a million people, someone who's been tested and-"

But would that person make Logan lose his head the way James did? Would that person soothe him with a kiss, bring him to life with just a touch, see through all of his denials and excuses the way James did?

Would that person make him feel even half as much as James did?

By the time James emerged, Logan had removed his shoes and socks as well as tossed his jacket and phone onto a nearby chair. He heard the sound of leather dropping onto the second chair and spun to find James had removed his jacket also.

"Still okay?"

"Not even close," Logan admitted.

"Go on and use the bathroom. Turn off the light when you come out."

"I'm surprised you don't want to watch yourself in the mirror."

"Funny. But I know it'll be easier for you if you don't see anything. You'll just get scared all over again."

That was probably true, and damn James for knowing him so well. Logan traded places with him, slipping into the bathroom and closing the door on the sight of James sitting on the edge of the bed and setting down materials that his hand had been closed around. Assuming it was a condom and some sort of lubrication, Logan closed his eyes when the fear cropped up again.

"Don't think," he whispered. "The more you think, the harder it is to act. Just let him handle this. And no matter what he says, if you ask him to stop, he will. He promised he wouldn't hurt you."

He relieved himself and took one last look in the mirror as he washed his hands, reminding himself that his appearance didn't matter; it would be dark anyway. In the light that spilled into the room when Logan opened the door, he saw James seated against the headboard with his denimed legs stretched out before him, feet bare but the green shirt still in place over a chiseled torso Logan had caught a dim glimpse of the night before. James was running a hand through his hair in a way that lifted the bangs away, making him appear older and wiser. "Turn off the light and come over here."

Screwing up all of his courage, Logan did as commanded. He stopped when he reached the bed, standing next to it uncertainly and already second-guessing what had to be the most irresponsible decision he'd ever made in his life. A hand slid up his thigh in the dark and he whimpered softly, rational thought fleeing when it stroked him through the jeans.

"You're so ready for this," James whispered. "But I'm asking you one more time if you're sure. I don't know how much farther I can go and still stop, Logan. I've never wanted anyone as badly as I want you."

The darkness made sense to Logan now; he doubted James would have been able to admit that while staring into Logan's eyes. It freed him as well, boosting his courage enough to climb onto the bed and allow James to pull him down until he was straddling James' hips. When James' hands slipped under his shirt and continued upward, Logan was shaking but leaned close enough to whisper in James' ear. "Don't let me run." They were the words he'd spoken the night before and he meant them even more now, body arching into James when thumbs traced circles around his nipples. "I might try to. Don't let me."

The shirt was unbuttoned and shoved back and down Logan's arms, James leaning forward to let his tongue do what his fingers already had. Logan shivered at the attention and gripped James' hair in both hands, causing James to become more aggressive with his mouth until it worked its way up to Logan's lips. There it settled for a long time, James knowing that kisses were the way to keep Logan calm, and probably remembering what he'd read about that being the ultimate foreplay to a Taurus.

Logan couldn't discount the theory; slow, lazy kisses worked to set him at ease and relax him enough that when James' fingers moved to his waistband, Logan only tensed up slightly before relaxing again. "Keep kissing me," he instructed James, who chuckled.

"Twist my arm."

Logan laughed softly, amazed that someone could bring him to amusement in a situation like this. He allowed James to roll him over onto his back and then tug his jeans off, the boxers going as well, and now it was real. "Oh god, what am I doing? James, wait, I can't-"

James shut him up with a well-timed kiss, keeping that going until he felt Logan relax again, and then straddled Logan's hips. "You're okay," James promised, and Logan nodded before letting out a long, calming breath.

"Let me touch you."

"Really?" James asked, surprised.

"Yes. You're beautiful."

There was a hesitation that confused Logan for a moment, but then the green shirt was tossed aside so that Logan could run his palms over smooth skin and hard muscles. He ran his hands around to the back, James hissing and arching when short nails dug shallow tunnels into it. "Fuck, Logan," he whined, breathing stuttered. "You're about to make me prove that theory."

"Which theory is that?"

"The one that says a man can come without his dick being touched. How are you so good at that?"

"Just putting your research to practical use," Logan grinned, making another pass down James' back but this time deeper. That earned him sudden vacuum-like suction to the side of his neck, Logan jerking up hard enough to make James bounce on the way back down.

"Two can play that game," James panted, shaking his head when Logan tensed under him. "No way, you're past the point of freezing up. Not letting that happen again."

James' mouth moved into place to chase away the nerves, teeth teasing Logan's lips while James used one hand to remove the rest of his own clothing. It was done so smoothly that Logan was hardly aware of it until James once again straddled his waist, and then it became difficult to ignore when something warm and thick brushed over his stomach.

"Relax," James whispered against his lips, knowing before it happened that Logan would tense up. "You're doing so good, don't think about it. Just feel."

"Feeling is what I'm most afraid of," Logan pointed out in a small voice.

"We're gonna change that." Moving back far enough that he could wrap a hand around Logan, James stroked gently a few times. "Wow, this isn't gonna take long."

"Can't help it. This is uh...my first time and all."

"It's okay." After pecking a kiss to Logan's lips, James leaned to the side in order to grab what he'd set there earlier, then straightened. He ripped open the condom wrapper and tossed it away before slowly rolling it down over Logan, who froze at the feeling until James was finished and kissing him again. "I don't know why my kisses have such magic over you, but I fucking love it. Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Logan replied honestly. "I feel really good, but the better I feel, the more the panic tries to crowd in."

"I'll just keep kissing you, then."

James proceeded to do so, even as he used the small packet of lubrication to prepare himself before wiping his hand on the side of the mattress. "Last chance to back out."

"You promised you wouldn't let me."

"Oh. Right."

With no further warning, James shifted his body so that he could guide Logan in. Logan went rigid under him, terror making his heart race and his body tremble. "Wait, maybe we shouldn't, I can't-"

James was already moving, though, sliding down over Logan with a groan of satisfaction. Immediately the room seemed to disappear, time might have stood still for all Logan knew—he was beyond any sort of rational thought or the ability to form words. There was nothing but a pleasure so great it built a wall between him and the outside world, but even more importantly between his body and his brain. Peace suffused his entire core, radiating out and into the kiss James was pressing to his lips. A cry of bliss traveled up his throat and into James' mouth, prodding James to move slowly up and then back down again but never breaking the kiss.

Logan's arms found their way around James' neck and held him there, hands tangling in James' hair while his head came off the pillow to deepen the kiss. When Logan's hips rose to meet each downthrust, James' body trembled in what Logan knew was a massive effort to keep from reaching his peak too soon and he wondered how he was managing to do the same because nothing had ever been as good as this feeling, nothing had wiped his fears and panic away as this did.

He felt nothing but the mouth possessing his and the tight heat he was plunged into every time they moved, heard nothing but the sounds their bodies made in the dark and the whimpers that escaped James' throat with each slow thrust until his name made it through the fog.

"Logan...Logan, please..."

"What...don't stop..."

Taking that as assent, James flipped their bodies before guiding Logan in again, this time Logan above and eagerly pressing in so that James moaned. Vaguely recalling a comment James had made, Logan pounded harder while James lifted his legs to make it easier, but rather than increase the pace he kept it slow because enough sense had returned for him to realize this would be it. Once this was done, he might not get another chance at sex for a very long time; if this trip had taught him nothing else, he'd learned that sex could be a beautiful, magical thing.

"Knew it, knew you'd be like this," James mumbled between kisses, breath hot in Logan's mouth as he panted. "Some bitch...so lucky..."

"Just you right now," Logan whispered.

James moaned, and Logan knew he wouldn't hold out much longer; neither of them would. He awkwardly managed to sit up without losing the contact, holding James in place while getting into a kneeling position so that James was riding him again. He pressed James' face to his throat, one hand in James' hair and the other running down his back. Taking the hint, James bit down on his neck so that Logan jerked harder, the pleasure reaching a level he'd never imagined possible but rather than scaring him, he soared into it until it overtook him with a wave of bliss so strong he almost blacked out. James followed close behind, his orgasm escaping with one long cry that was muffled by Logan's shoulder before they clung to each other's slightly sweaty skin.

"Holy fuck," James breathed, panting into Logan's hair. "You still here? You gonna have a heart attack on me now that it's over?"

"Maybe," Logan managed, gasping for air but pressing a kiss to James' shoulder before gently pushing him onto his back. "So that was okay? I wasn't horrible?"

A strangled laugh bubbled up in the dark. "No, Logan. You weren't horrible. And you survived. Once I can breathe again, I'll be extremely proud of you."

"Thanks," Logan smiled. "How do I uh...?"

"Oh. Hang on." James lifted himself up on one elbow to remove the condom. "It's good manners to tie it off so it doesn't leak everywhere."

"I have to touch it?"

"Might as well learn now," James teased, passing it over so Logan could do the job and then reaching out in the dark to lift up the trash can he'd noted earlier. "Toss it in."

Logan did, then collapsed next to James. "I need to wash up."

"Yeah, you do that. I'm just gonna lay here and not move for the next twenty years or so." When Logan started to move away, James reached out to wrap his body around Logan and keep him there. "Don't go yet. Just lay here with me."

As much as Logan hated to feel grimy, he decided that for one night, he could stand it. The safety and warmth of James' arms before they were gone was worth that much.