We are on our way back. Sitting in the car same as before, bored out of our minds while meaningless conversation goes on. The only thing that snaps me out of this stupid daze of boredom is my ringing phone. I answer of course and hear the familiar voice of Aradia's mom.
My eyes widen as she explains.
I know a few people are looking at my shock in confusion.
I hang up when she finishes. "Sollux?" Nepeta asks, tilting her head to the side.
"She'th awake. Aradia is awake." I answer. Nepeta looks shocked while Karkat on the other hand has a odd look on his face almost to say 'How-no, just don't do anything your going to regret.'
I know why he is worried. He knows how serious I was about her, he probably thinks I could dump Nepeta when I see her again. I get it.
But.. The thing is, I don't know if I will or not. Nepeta is great, she is sweet, smart, funny adorable, what else could I ask for?
But Aradia... She was my first love and always will be. She's adventurous, brave, beautiful, funny, she's a genius, and lost sometimes but that's part of her charm. And she is the most understanding person I have ever met.
She loves me back.. With Nep, I don't know if it is love, and if it isn't do I want to miss a chance to get Aradia back? But how could I break up with someone as sweet as Nep? God what am I saying? I haven't seen Aa yet, I don't know how I feel about her anymore. And what about how she feels. She may not love me anymore. Hell she could be a completely different person! She may not even remember me...
I snap out of my thoughts when Nep starts shaking my shoulders.
I look at her, letting my confusion show. She lets out a happy sigh.
"You were zoned out and wouldn't respond to us." She explains.
"Oh, thorry about that. What were you thaying?" I ask and scratch the back of my head. "It doesn't really matter. Are you ok though?" She replies.
"Yeah. I'm just, shocked. And confuthed." I answer.
"There isn't anything I can do is there?" She asks, now looking down.
"Not thith time Nep. I jutht have to work thome thingth out when I get home." I answer. Well like I said before, she is smart. She knows where this is going.
I pull her into a gentle hug. "You don't need to worry." I say softly. She hugs me back and I can feel her smile against me.
The drive back feels like forever, but ends sooner then I thought it would.
I pretended to be ok the best I could, but I don't know how well it worked.
I kiss Nep goodbye and head straight to my room.
I pull out my cell and call her while pacing around.
"Sollux?" She answers.
"Hi aa. I heard you came by." Shit what do I say?
"Yeah, I have been out for a few days and my mom finally let me out of the house. Are you home right now?" Why would she be asking anyway? Oh my god is she coming over? Why am I flipping out in the first place?!
"Well it's good that you can go out now. And uh, yeah I am." I hope I sound as calm as I think I sound.
"Ok, do you need to unpack or something? I'd like to see you, we have a lot to catch up on." I knew it! She sounds so calm and happy..
"I only brought a backpack tho no worries. Should we meet somewhere?"
"I'll just come there if that's ok with you."
"Ok, tho I'll see you thoon?" Don't make fun of me! I don't know what she's saying!
"Yup!" She hangs up. Oh my god. What will I say? We have to catch up, but I also need to tell her about Nepeta. I only think about this for a minute before realizing my room looks like a pig pen.
Then I look around the rest of the house, and start cleaning as fast as I can.
She doesn't live very far so I don't have a ton of time.
Speaking of time, I finish picking everything up right when she knocks.
When I open the door I all but freeze.
She still has wavy brown hair that goes down to her hips. I remember her shirt to, it is her favorite. A flowing red tank top with dark lace on the bottom of it.
Her long light brown skirt still has the same rips and holes on the bottom of it from her 'adventuring' that she loves. It was really just climbing on dumpsters like they were stairs onto the small shops in town. There is a long street with little shops going down both sides of it, she liked pretending she was a adventurer running from evil spies or something. Her skirt always tore but she insisted on wearing it every time. Behind the shops is a wall of old tall trees that blocked the view of a park. She doesn't know anything is back there though. She liked to drag me with her for her roof running, it was kind of fun but I really only went because it was her who asked me to come. Anyone else would get a door slammed in their face. She always got this look in her eyes when she got an ideas for something like that, it was amazing to see.
I snap out of the memories when she pulls me into a hug, her arms around my neck and mine around her waist. I take a few steps back and spin her around.
When I set her down she looks up at me and we smile at each other
"You look great! New hair cut I see." She says with that perky voice of hers. "Thankth. Thith ith actually natural. I got thick of thtyling it." I reply.
"I like it better this way... Hehehe! I missed your lisp so much, it's still adorable!" She beams. "Heh thankth... Nepeta thayth tho to." I reply. God I hope I picked the right time to say that. "Nepeta?" She asks. "She ith one of the 3 new kidth at school and she uh. She'th my girlfriend." I answer.
"Oh.. Well I hope your very happy together! You deserve it." She beams and I smile. She always was understanding like that. "What are the other kids like?" She asks and sits on the couch. I follow her over to is and sit next to her. "Feferi ith funny, she'th pretty thweet but she getth excited over every thing. Itth pretty annoying. She'th in love with fish because she grew up around them all the time. And Eridan. Most annoying, weird talking, dethperate hipthter in the world. He attacked Nepeta outthide of thchool once." I explain. "Is she ok?!" She asks. "Yeah, me and Karkat heard her yelling tho we broke it up and I beat him down a bit." I answer with a smirk. "Hehe! That sounds like you. Well, besides that they sound like a lot of fun to be around." She beams some more.
"Its a pretty interesting group. It was them, Kk, Nepeta, me, Terezi, and even Gamzee on thpring break. That'th kind of our friend circle. And it turnth out Nep has been pen palth with Gam for yearth. Tho it'th been pretty funny. She makes friendth with everybody. She even forgave Eridan." I continue. "That's really cool. I'm so glad everything has been working out for you guys! Now, what's Nepeta like?" She asks. "She'th insanely thweet. She ith in love with catth to the maximum. Utheth cat punth every chance she getth and gave us all nicknameth to go with it. She has this thpecial hat that keeps her calm when she ith thcared because she can have really bad panic attackth. She also kickth ath, when Kk and I found her and Eridan that day he wath on the ground because she kicked him like 7 feet. She loves role playing with everybody and climbing treeth. I bet you guyth could go on thome epic adventures. She drawth people and placeth all the time. And... she'th really brave. She had really bad experienceth and they were pretty deprething to hear about. But she ith alwayth happy. She'th amazing. Heh, she even caught Kk thinging and recorded it. He doethn't know about that part though." My tone is calm. It goes up and down on happy levels. I probably trailed off near the end there. "She sounds great! You will have to introduce me to everyone. Even if I already met most of them, there is some catching up to do." She replies. "Yeah. There ith thtill one more day of thpring break left, I can show you around for the rest of today and we can all meet up tomorrow." I ask. "That sounds perfect!" She beams. "Let's go then." I reply and stand up.
We head out and start walking.
I take her by all of the places we used to go to, the street with little shops everywhere. With these trees here and the shops she loves, I bet her and Nepeta will hang out here to role play.
She points out the places she remembers, and the things different about them.
Eventually we go everywhere she knew. Afterwards I walk her home.
"Thanks for all this." She says. "No problem." I reply.
"It's good to see you again." She says and pulls me into a hug.
I've missed her so much.. Every day. When our grip on each other loosens she stares up at me.
She stands on her toes and our lips meet.
My arms lock up in a half bend position, my eyes are wide open, and her hands are resting on my neck and shoulders.
It is a familiar feeling, a wonderful feeling. But reality catches up and I push her back.
"Oh my god. I'm so sorry!" She covers her mouth.
I am still in shock so I don't say anything. "It was just so good to see you again, and.. Ohh! Please don't let this ruin things with Nepeta! I'm really sorry." She rambles. "It'th uh... It'th ok.. I won't tell if you won't." I reply. That's all I can think to say. I'm even more confused now then I was before. I've missed her.. So much... She apologizes again and heads inside. When the door closes I turn around and start walking back home. What does this mean?
The feeling that shot through me hasn't happened since the accident.
But I got close with Nep. I think.
I don't want to hurt either of them. And what kind of a person would hurt Nepeta? I don't know what even I feel anymore.
It's confusing. Very very confusing.
By the time I get home I am racking my brain to try and fine every good and bad side to each of them. But it all comes down to Aradia. It always has and it always will. But how the hell do I end things with Nep? I guess I just have to figure it out later, for now I need to set up a meet up for tomorrow.
I just hope it goes well.