Chapter 14:
Song: Black Dress- Kisschasy.
Callie was downstairs making breakfast with Josie. Josie was in slightly better spirits than the day before, though still obviously upset. Cooking together was something that Josie really enjoyed. Today they were making fun shaped pancakes with all the trimmings.
Barbara sat at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper and drinking the coffee that Callie had made her. Daniel had yet to show up for breakfast and Callie was sure that he would probably wait until the kitchen was empty before he would show up. She tried to keep it in her mind that it wasn't her that he was truly upset about, and Barbara's talk with her yesterday helped reinforce that. She decided to make up a plate for him anyway and leave it, in case he showed up or got hungry.
Arizona made her way downstairs and smiled. Almost all of her favourite people were in the kitchen, and she loved the dynamic between them all. She kissed her mother on the cheek and sat down next to her, watching Callie and Josie, who were covered in pancake batter and listened to their playful banter. It was such a beautiful sight.
"Here Josie, go take this plate to your Grandma" Callie said to Josie, handing her a plate. Josie took it over to the table, and placed it down in front of her. Barbara peered over her newspaper and smiled. There on her plate was a pancake in the disproportionate shape of a cat. She kissed Josie in thanks and began loading her plate full of the trimmings that Callie had already laid out on the table.
"Make a special one for Aunty Arizona, Callie" Josie whispered to Callie. Callie grinned, having had hoped she would get to make Arizona's pancake. After it was cooked, Callie plopped the pancake down on the plate and gave it to Josie to take to Arizona. It was in the shape of a big heart. Arizona looked over at Callie, and smiled as they made eye contact, both of them think about Callie listening to her heart earlier that morning. Barbara watched on and at that point she knew that Callie and Arizona were in love. It wasn't the heart shaped pancake that made her think this. It was the goofy love eyes that kept sneaking glances at each other, forgetting that anyone else could see. She smiled. She knew that she knew very little about Callie, but in her eyes, Callie had already proven herself to be someone worthy of her daughter's affection. The four of them sat together, eating breakfast, trying to keep the mood light for as long as possible, knowing the day would be quite a tough one.
Arizona stood and beckoned for Callie to follow her from the kitchen. They walked together to the living room and sat down. "Calliope, I was wondering, if it's okay with you, if you could stay with Josie today? Mom and I have to go to the funeral home and make some of the arrangements. We both agree that Josie shouldn't come along for this one."
"Of course, Arizona. I'm on study break this week and next as I have exams after break, so I would have been home anyway."
"Will this affect your study, Calliope? I don't want you feel like you have to do anything for us when you should be studying?"
Callie leant over touched Arizona's face. "I promise you, it is fine. Josie likes to help me study anyway; she thinks flash cards are fun. We will be fine."
Arizona smiled into the touch "Thank you Calliope". She leant forward and whispered into Callie's ear "I can't wait for you and me" kissing her cheek before standing and making her way back to the kitchen.
Barbara and Arizona left for the funeral home shortly after, and Callie decided to clean up after breakfast while Josie went up to her playroom. She pottered around, and made a grocery list, knowing that no one had been to the shops in a while, and that Arizona probably wouldn't get time to do so in the coming days. She peered out of the window and noticed Daniel sitting at the outdoor table, looking dejected, smoking a cigarette. She knew where Arizona must have picked up the casual smoking from.
She decided that she would take the plate of breakfast out to him. Steeling herself and shaking her nerves, she walked outside to where he was sitting and gently placed the plate down, along with a coffee and the newspaper. She made eye contact with Daniel and simply said, "Just in case you get hungry, Colonel Robbins, sir." When he made no effort to acknowledge her or the food, she turned to leave.
"Wait, Callie" Daniel said gruffly. Callie turned back around, preparing herself for the worst.
"I'm sorry, Callie" he said simply and motioned for her to join him at the table. Callie sat down across from him quickly, still quite intimidated. "It's fine, Colonel Robbins" she replied.
"No. No, it's not fine. I've treated you with nothing but rudeness, and I am sorry. It's just all wrong. I'm supposed to be the strong one for my family, but I can't even look at my wife in the eyes. I'm supposed to be the one who makes funeral arrangements, and I couldn't walk any further than this table right here. I was supposed to die first Callie. I was never prepared for the idea of a life without any of them, because I was supposed to be the first to go. And now, my son is gone. My wonderful, kind, strong son is dead. And I'm pushing away everyone else who is left."
The Colonel looked surprised at himself for revealing so much and looked like he was using up all of his energy not to cry in front of Callie.
Callie took a deep breath and sighed. She reached out and grasped Daniel's hand, no longer intimidated, and knew what she had to do. "Colonel Robbins, sir, I know. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that you are feeling right now. However, I can see that pain in your eyes. It's the same pain that I've seen in Arizona's eyes every day for quite a long time now, sir. You are not alone in this pain. No one ever thinks that their loved ones are going to die before them. And when it happens, no one can possibly know how they are going to keep going on without them. The one thing I do know is that your family needs you. They don't need you to be strong; they need you to grieve with them. They want to hold you when as you grieve and vice versa."
Callie could see that her words were beginning to take effect with Daniel. So she continued. "The first and only time I ever saw my father cry, was when his mother passed away. We all love my grandmother, but his relationship with her was so special. I remember looking at him crying, and I never once saw it as a sign of weakness. It was more just a testament to how much he loved her. It was important for me to see that, to know that it was okay to cry. It's okay for you to cry too, Colonel, sir."
That last sentence tore down the walls that Daniel had placed around himself, and he silently cried, shaking as he buried icy blue eyes into strong, weathered, tan hands. Callie gently rubbed his shoulder, and he released his face, pulling Callie into an awkward, but necessary hug. "Thank you so much, Callie" he whispered as he wiped his tears away and attempted to compose himself.
He stared down at the plate of breakfast Callie, had brought out to him. "This looks wonderful, Callie" and he began to eat for the first time in days, and the two engaged in small talk, mostly about Josie and her antics. It wasn't too long before the subject of their conversation was spotted walking slowly and curiously down the back steps, hesitating before approaching her grandfather.
Daniel got up from his seat and kneeled, beckoning Josie to run over to him. She launched herself at him, and he lifted her up, spinning before wrapping her in a big bear hug. "I missed you Josie bear" he said he carried her back to the table and sat her on his knee.
Callie smiled, happy that she had succeeded in at least bring Daniel and Josie together. She hoped that it continued; that Arizona and Barbara would finally be able to connect and grieve with the Colonel. She asked the Colonel if he would like to join her and Josie on a grocery trip, her confidence in him grew as he accepted, scooping Josie up and racing her to the car.
An hour and a half later, the trio returned, playing in the kitchen as they put away groceries and prepared some lunch. Not too long after, Arizona and Barbara walked through the front door. Arizona made her way to the kitchen, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw her father, actually interacting with Josie AND Callie. Barbara was soon behind her with a very similar expression on her face. Daniel looked up and saw Arizona. He walked over to her and pulled her into a tight hug, breaking down, apologising. Barbara soon joined the hug. Callie continued making lunch with Josie, trying to give them some space, but soon enough, Daniel and Barbara left the kitchen to go out to the flat to discuss the arrangements that Arizona and Barbara had made that morning.
Arizona stood at the door, gobsmacked, in complete awe of Callie. How on earth did Callie manage to fix her family situation with less than half a day alone with Daniel, even though just hours before, he had apparently hated her? Callie made eye contact as she lifted Josie down from the kitchen bench, and winked in Arizona's direction, grabbing the lunch platter in one hand, Josie's hand the other, and walked straight outside, leaving Arizona speechless in the kitchen. How the hell was she that lucky to have Callie in her life?
The next few days passed quickly and before too long, it was the day of Timothy Robbins' funeral. It was an overcast day, with rain on and off, typical weather for an incredibly sad day. Arizona woke up early in Callie's arms, extracted herself and stood to look out the window, unprepared for the day ahead. Callie soon woke, missing the heat from Arizona, and surprised Arizona with Callie's arms around Arizona's waist, and her chin tucked into Arizona's neck from behind. They swayed gently like that, the two of them stood together to watch the rain from the window. Arizona turned in her arms to face Callie when it became almost time to get ready. "Please, after I am dressed, can I have five minutes alone with you before we go?" Arizona whispered.
"Anything you want Arizona" Callie whispered back, gently brushing her lips to Arizona's temple. Her eyelids fluttered shut, and she held Callie tightly before looking up at her, and with one gentle kiss to the lips, she was gone to get ready.
Callie showered and dressed quickly in a black pantsuit before ensuring that Josie was ready. She held her hand as they sat in the kitchen, waiting for the rest of the family. Barbara and Daniel soon arrived in the kitchen, and Callie took that as her cue to get a moment with Arizona alone. She walked up to Arizona's room and gently knocked. Arizona opened the door, dressed in a black blazer and skirt, with black stockings and black hairpiece woven into a bun on her head, with black mesh covering part of her face. She pulled Callie in wordlessly by her hand and stood in front of the mirror, with Callie behind her. She picked up a pearl necklace and handed it wordlessly to Callie, who gently fastened it around Arizona's neck, the whole time her eyes not leaving Arizona's, continuing their silent conversation.
Callie dropped her hand to Arizona's waist and pulled her in close, kissing the bare skin where her neck met her shoulder. Arizona spun slowly, meeting Callie for a slow, passionate kiss, tears falling from her face and landing on Callie's. "I'm so glad you are here, Calliope" she whimpered against Callie's lips. Callie kissed her forehead, grasped their hands together, and walked Arizona down the stairs to Josie and her parents.
The funeral was sombre. It was no surprise that a very large number of people turned up to mourn and to celebrate Tim's life. It left no doubt in any of their minds that the world was a little bit dimmer without Tim in it. Callie never left Arizona's side, holding her hand for the entire service, Josie holding Arizona's other hand.
When they walked down to the cemetery, Callie hung back, not wanting to be at the front of the intimate burial, surrounded by members of the Robbins family and Tim's Marine comrades who had come to see Tim off, but Arizona pulled her forward, unable to cope without her next to her. They stood in the pouring rain, under black umbrellas, watching a coffin draped in flags be lowered into the ground. It felt surreal, and almost cliché, like many sad, tragic movies, and Arizona found herself wishing that it was only a movie, that this was all a dream, except for the beautiful brunette beside her.
It meant a lot to her that so many people turned up to the funeral. She watched all their faces, some familiar, some completely foreign, and imagined their interactions and stories of Tim. As she scanned the still crowd, she noticed a hooded figure, one that had hung back from the crowd. The figure made eye contact and as recognition crossed both their faces, Barbara nudged Arizona, indicating that it was her turn to throw a rose onto Tim's coffin, and when she looked back up, the figure was gone.