Chapter Fourteen
He had never said those words to her. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to fall into his arms but her self preservation kicked in.
"I want to add some rules."
Sara got up and paced the floor. Grissom stood and watched. He knew the ball was in her court and he was willing to grovel if he had to.
"Name it."
"I don't like our arrangement."
Grissom had a sinking feeling in the bottom of his stomach. "Sara, if I have to grovel, I will."
"Rule number five. I don't like sleeping alone. If we can't sleep together then we don't need to be together."
Grissom smiled. "I agree."
"Rule number six. The person who hurts the other is on kitchen and toilet detail."
"I can live with that."
"Rule number seven. If you can't follow rule number two then no more chances."
The last one hung in the air. Grissom's stomach lurched. He knew he had really hurt her. He was scared by the ultimatum. He didn't want to lose her.
"Sara. I never meant to hurt you. I will never intentionally hurt you. I am so sorry." The remorse in Grissom's voice made Sara cry. He held her in his arms and she accepted him. He held her until her tears subsided and then he led her to the bedroom. They fell asleep their bodies entwined together. During the night, Grissom woke and found Sara sitting up in the bed. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"I'm fine. I didn't mean to wake you."
Grissom pulled her down to his side. He could feel her trembling. "Nightmares?"
Sara nodded. "I expected as much."
"Is that why you went into the office to avoid sleeping alone?"
Sara nodded again.
Grissom cursed under his breath. "Jim is right. I am a bastard."
"When Adam Trent pinned me down, I thought I wasn't going to live. I wasn't afraid to die. What hurt the most was the fear that you would go back into your cave and never come out again. Gil, if anything should happen to me, promise me you won't do that."
Grissom held her tight. He felt tears on his face only this time they were not Sara's but his. He loved her so much. He had loved her for so long and he had wasted so many years being afraid to love. "I won't promise you that Sara. I won't."
"PROMISE me!" Sara cried as she hit him on his chest with the palms of her hands.
"I won't."
He held her hands and kissed her longingly. Sara gently stroked his face. She touched his face and felt the tears. She gently kissed each one. "I love you, Gil."
"I love you, Sara with all my being."
They were never the same after that night. It was the first time they took their relationship to the next level. It was not planned just as they had agreed. Grissom spent the remainder of the night making love to Sara. He showed the depths of his love through his gentle approach to their lovemaking. Sara knew that this marked a special turn in their relationship. She snuggled up close to Grissom and closed her eyes. She wasn't afraid of the nightmares any more. She knew she would never be alone again.
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