THANKS TO GINA TSUKIKO FOR BETA READING THE CHAPTER
guest: thanks
Elarmi: I like Ino the lot, I found her fun to write. Thank you
Guest: Naruto and Sakura relationship will come in its due time. I wanted to create a background before solving the problems, and yeah I wanted to give some time to develop Naruto and Sasuke friendship. Thank you for your support
Yojimbra: It felt like half chapter as they were half chapter posted (though they were my standard lenght of chapter compare to my other stories). For Sakura being the object of desire, it will come but not in the form of card game. thank you for being here
Guest: I can understand why you don't like NaruHina, but NaruSaku have so much potential. Though this one is a difficult one to write as Naruto have to be out of character and this change as well the way Sakura behave. I hope I will be up to your expectation and you will continue to enjoy the story. Please continue to review and share with me your thoughts.
Merchant of Blue Death: Ino/Shika is a fun pairing and Sakura is a pervert for sure! I hope you will continue to enjoy your reading. Thank you for your support.
eight heroes: Thank you very much! There will be some NaruSaku coming for sure, you just have to be patient. The plot is building up slowly.
meero619: Thank you very much for your support. I really need your support to keep up, I lose faith in my work way to easily.
maxslayer10: This story will not be finished in a couple of chapter, I have too much written already, but I began to butcher it seriously . I am sure you will recognized the butchered chapters when they will come. I hope you will still enjoy them. I will try my best to bring an end to this mess. I count on your support to help me do it. Thank you very much.
AquaRules: Welcome back! Long time no see, I was thinking I had disappointed you and you left the reading. I missed your presence. Thank you to be here. I love Ino too, she's so funny.
WindyCitySlayer1: Thank you very much, please continue to review. It's my way to know that you're still here. Thank you
iKONO: Thank you very much. I hope you recovered from your fever and you are all better. Thank you so much for your support, it mean a lot to me. (I didn't found you to PM you, but try the fanfic of luvtoshi and tricksie)
UzumakiDavis27: One step a time, there is a lot to remember for our dear jinchuuriki. I hope you will like where the story goes. Thank you very much for being here
HITMAN0569: Thank you for your support. I hope you will continue to enjoy the story.
Chap 13: Illusions and reality
Naruto tossed and turned again in his bed for hours on end, haunted by the newly discovered fragments of his childhood. He welcomed the chance to rest brought on by the distraction his friends had created. For awhile, his memories weren't as painful and suffocating as when they were unloaded in his brain; until they left him alone in his room, until the light shut off, plunging him again into the poisonous atmosphere surrounding his memories mixed with to the toxic feeling of the darkness around him.
The agonizing loops of images incessantly turned in his mind, always the same short sequences, again and again. There was no escape, he could not look away from them. He tossed in his bed, trying to chase away the visions. He wanted so badly to make them stop. In the realm of his memories, he screamed, shutting his eyes tights and holding his skull between his hands to press them out of his brain. Then the atmosphere changed. The air felt cooler around him, and he hesitantly opened an eye. The images vanished, he wasn't in the darkness with the tortuous memories anymore. He was in a short tunnel with high gray walls and mid-calf water on the ground. Curious, he walked down the corridor in the direction of a strange energy that he could nearly call familiar.
The sounds of splashing were the only noises around as he advanced in the stagnant water. He turned at the first entrance and ended up in cave. He couldn't see the ceiling, as if it was as high as the sky itself, lost in a undefinable darkness. The place was so vast that it was unreal for a cave. In front of him, stood red bars of prison, but with an immense open door. Something moved in the back of the cell, hidden in a sinister half shade.
Naruto squinted his eyes to try to distinguish the form. A long creeping shadow as large as an centennial tree danced from right to left. His eyes widened as two, three, five, eight limbs raised from the darkness swinging in a lazy nonchalance. His jaw hung low, head lifted upward to follow the movement of what looked like a raising mountain. The shadow extended up, filling the cage completely, impressive by it size and it overwhelming powerful aura. Naruto stayed rooted to the spot as a paw more than ten times his size emerged from the shadow, followed by the rest of the imposing creature.
Red eyes fixed on him, and the blond human couldn't help but notice the threatening teeth lining the huge jaw. What is that thing? The overall form was one of a fox, but with nine giant tails waving behind it. Naruto couldn't move, even as the thing came closer. Is this a dream? It would be the first one since he woke from his coma, his nights until then being only the oppressive loneliness of the darkness in his mind. The beast leisurely sat not far from the small human. Naruto's eyes scanned the colossal animal. It looked so real and was so detailed that he doubted it was just an illusion.
Kurama glanced at his friend, torn between being happy to see the blond and tempted to sulk for having been abandoned for so long. It had been a while since Naruto had come to visit for a small chat like they used to do.
"You took your time to come by, kit." The creature said with his natural roaring voice.
Naruto finally blinked, surprised that the creature talked to him.
"You know me?" The blond questioned, stunned.
Kurama snorted, nonchalantly resting his head on his big paw. A joke! The kid hadn't grown up much; he was still so full of pranks.
"What is it this time? Sure I know you, I live within you!" The fox demon reminded his host, expecting Naruto to start laughing at his failed attempt to fool him. He was a fox. Did the kid really think he could outsmart him?
Naruto's eyes widened in realization. The beast was within him. The cruel words of the villagers in his memories resonated in his mind.
'Monster'
His eyes were transfixed on the giant animal.
'within me'
It was in him.
'I am a monster...'
His knees buckled underneath him, water splashing around as he fell to the ground. His shoulders were tensed, his arms supporting his weight to prevent him from flopping further down. His head bend forward, he looked without seeing at his reflection, still shocked at his discovery. Slowly his gaze focused, meeting the mirror of his own blue eyes.
'I am a monster...'
"Oi, kit! What's wrong?" Kurama called out to him worriedly, and seeing the strange behavior of his friend, extended his paw to pat the small human.
At the touch, Naruto jolted in surprise, crawling away to retreat from the contact. His eyes returned to the fox, not finding anything yet to say, letting the information settle to be able to form a thought.
Kurama frowned. This was really unlike Naruto. He reached out with his paw again, and saw the blond instinctively cross his arms in front of his face in a defensive gesture for a potential battle, ready to withstand a blow. However, Kurama didn't touch him the second time as a third person got in his way.
Sharingan activated, Sasuke stood in front of the blond protectively. "Stay back if you don't want to become a fur coat!" The Uchiha ordered. Hearing a scream, he had rushed into Naruto's room, and not able to wake the sleeping blond up, he looked into Naruto's blue eyes to find his friend defending himself from the fox.
"Uchiha..." Kurama growled, he had never liked the man who put him under the control of his Rinnengan and tried to kill his first friend.
Naruto blinked, dumbfounded to see his best friend in front of him. He uttered his name, wondering if he was hallucinating. "Sasuke? What are you doing here?"
The dark-haired shinobi looked over his shoulder at his brother. "I heard you scream, so I came to your realm."
"How? You knew about this place? You knew about me being...?" Naruto didn't finish his sentence, ashamed. He didn't dare to say 'monster' out loud in front of his closest person.
"With my eyes's power I came here once. You're ok Naruto?"
"Huh? Yeah... I guess... I–I don't know... I mean...You saw that?" The blond admitted, lost. Would Sasuke still be his friend now that he saw the beast too?
"Don't interfere!" The fox menacingly roared to the invader, standing up with his imposing stature to look down on the small dark-haired man.
Not impressed in the least, Sasuke noted the open door of the jail. "How careless to let you out!" He commented to himself.
"You've got nothing to do here. Go away!" Kurama barked.
Sasuke fixed the giant with his dark glare. "You don't understand the situation, Kyuubi. Naruto has lost his memories, those about you included. So for now keep quiet and leave him in peace!"
Kurama watched his friend's face: his expression, his strange behavior... Naruto had forgotten him. His only friend... He couldn't believe it. He wanted to shake the blond's shoulder, to tell him to stop the prank. After all those years of loneliness, it was impossible... he couldn't have lost his human friend.
"Kit?" The fox demon uttered, unsettled. He extended his paw, hoping to see the blond's infamous smile and bump fists with him. But this Naruto didn't move, he just looked at him unsurely from behind the Uchiha.
Naruto glanced over his best friend's shoulder. The beast was static, fixing him straight in the eyes. It didn't look menacing now that he could take a good glimpse of it. He felt strangely pained to witness such a sad expression on its face. Maybe the beast was just like him... Maybe the beast was suffering as much as he was.
Sasuke turned around, offering his hand to Naruto to help him up, pulling him out of his contemplation."Don't worry! Kyuubi is under control... If you want to, I can lock your seal, but I don't think the fur-ball will move anytime soon."
After a last brief glance toward the fox and the bars of its jail, Naruto shook his head, accepting the warm hand. "If it was free within me before, I have no reason to lock it up now." Naruto decided. He didn't know the story between them, but somehow, he felt connected to the beast, through the same pain and sorrow.
Kurama looked defeated as Sasuke helped Naruto up and escorted him out of the cave. The tailed beast stared at the place where his only friend had been standing for a long time, his heart clenched in desolation. His head hung low, he finally turned around, went back to his cell and curled himself up in a ball.
Solitude. Solitude settling around him as a bitter companion.
XXXXXXXXXX
Emerging from his subconsciousness, Naruto opened his eyes to the dim light of his bedside lamp. His best friend was sitting on the edge of his bed, observing him cautiously. For a while, they didn't say anything; Sasuke waiting for Naruto to collect himself, and Naruto lost in his thoughts. Naruto didn't know what to do with his strange discovery. He was indeed a monster, or at least he had a monster within him. The giant fox was big...really impressive, but not as threatening as it seemed at first. Even Sasuke wasn't scared of it, he acted completely unaffected; as if he didn't care for the beast.
Naruto supported himself on his elbow to have a half sitting position and have a better view of Sasuke's face. "Ne Sasuke... It wasn't a dream?"
"No." The dark-haired man simply replied.
"The beast is real... and you knew about it?"
"Yes."
"You're still my friend?" Naruto questioned, unsure of their situation; unsure whether anyone could treat him better than the villagers had once they knew about his monster status.
"No," Sasuke bluntly answered, immediately earning a discomfited expression from the blond. 'Naruto is so easy to read.' The Uchiha thought, amused at teasing him. Sasuke drew a small smile on his usually emotionless face and poked Naruto's forehead. "I'm your brother!" He stated.
A burst of warmth flooded through them both, as Naruto threw his arms around Sasuke for a bone crushing hug. It was so reassuring to have someone who would love him unconditionally, like family; someone he could count on in this moment where he had no landmark whatsoever in his life.
Sasuke awkwardly patted the blond's shoulder. He felt happy, stupidly happy. But he was still unfamiliar with this kind of demonstration of affection. He had been all alone for so long, he had communicated with Naruto through kicks and punches up until now, that he didn't know how to handle their present relationship without the competition or Sakura in it. He thought for a moment, relishing in their proximity and the trust and affection Naruto was giving him. Sasuke imagined it was what Itachi must have felt when taking care of his kid brother, this sense of duty to always protect him no matter what.
"Would you want me to stay with you tonight? We could put two futons on the terrace and watch the stars for a while, it might help you sleep." Sasuke suggested, remembering doing the same thing with his big brother, when his life was still full of innocence and happiness.
Naruto nodded, slowly releasing his grip. He didn't want to admit it, or to put more burden on those who took care of him, but the dark feelings in his head were always more bearable when his friends were around.
As soon as Sasuke was free again, the dark-haired man jumped on his feet and went to retrieve the covers to put them downstairs. He couldn't stop this nostalgic feeling that grew in his chest; doing the same thing he did as a kid was like having his family back. The blond followed him, and Sasuke remembered himself doing the same with Itachi. It was heart-warming to have Naruto's undivided attention just for himself as if they were real brothers. He briefly glanced at the blond who helped him set-up the futon, and a small smile broke on both their faces. Naruto, too, was happy to share this moment with him. They were brothers. Even without their shared pain, Naruto was all Sasuke had left.
They settled on their respective mattresses. This Naruto was silent, but Sasuke didn't mind, he could easily live through the silence. It was just good to be together. For a long moment, they stayed immobile, their gazes lost on the myriad of stars. Then, Sasuke noticed the frown deepening on the blond's face, and he knew that sooner or later, Naruto would talk. He just waited for him to be ready. He had never been the pushy type like Sakura could be-inquiring, turning around, pressing him with this gentle maternal way that either came from her feminine side or her medical ability. He didn't know how to do it in the first place, asking questions wasn't his forte. All he could do was be there, listening to whatever Naruto would say.
"Ne Sasuke... What I am exactly?"
"You're Naruto." Sasuke simply stated.
"I remembered something today." Naruto tightened his fist, ready to share his painful memories. "I was a kid... and I didn't understand why people hated me," he swallowed with difficulty at the admission. "They called me – monster... they avoided me..." he kept his eyes straight ahead, not daring to look at Sasuke's expression, afraid to maybe see the same disgusted stare on his precious person. "Did I do anything to hurt them? Did I, or that thing inside me... ya know... hurt them?"
Sasuke grabbed the blond's jaw to force him to look at him. He saw the pain in the blue eyes, the guilty feeling of possibly causing anyone harm. Those feelings were the remnants of his past, the only explanation that Naruto could imagine to have deserved hatred. Sasuke was really tempted to have a peek at those souvenirs to understand him better, but he respected Naruto's privacy too much to invade more of his secrets.
"You didn't. As long as I knew you, you have never tried to hurt anyone." 'Not even me, even though I tried to kill you' "In the past, there was war between villages, and Kyuubi was used by the Leaf as a weapon. He was considered a powerful demon. There are other tailed beasts in the world, that other villages have used as well. To keep the beast safe from harming the village, it was locked inside of people with certain power, called Jinchuuriki. You're a jinchuuriki." Sasuke explained matter of factly before noticing the light frown on the blond, as if jinchuuriki meant the same as monster or weapon.
"You are not Kyuubi." The Uchiha insisted, "You're Naruto Uzumaki. Don't make me repeat it again, or you'll make me sound like you." Sasuke jested, remembering with fondness the old days when the blond would claim his name and that he would become Hokage to every person he met.
"And do people still hate me?" The blond asked, insecure.
"No. Not anymore."
"Hmm – they don't mind me having the beast within me?" The jinchuuriki dug further, not confident in the change of heart of the people.
"You're an annoying idiot – You saw it. You saw the gifts and letters. You saw the people running to you." Why do you think I carried you around? Can't you believe in yourself like you used to do? Be that guy again! The most determined and self assured idiot in the world; the only person who could face hatred without being soiled with it. Even Itachi had chosen you to lead us to peace – show me that you're still here!
"Ah – yeah – that makes sense ... By the way, I'm not an idiot, I'm an amnesiac!" Naruto insisted, his pride on the line.
"You're an amnesic idiot." The Uchiha teased, poking his brother's forehead.
"You're mean!"
"I know." Sasuke chuckled lightly.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Early that morning Sasuke woke up on their terrace and he quite easily noticed the differences as when he'd done the same with Itachi. First, the covers were still on him. Second, Naruto was still sleeping, whereas Itachi would have been long gone. And then, the blond was wrapped around him, as if he were a teddy bear. Sasuke couldn't remember a day, even in his young age, where he would have slept with a plush-toy. Even so, Naruto was always holding a pillow in his arms every time Sasuke woke him up. He glanced at the face of the blond man. Naruto was peacefully snoring, and Sasuke didn't feel like waking him up. He wasn't really uncomfortable having Naruto's head on his shoulder, and he could certainly bear with it a little longer to let Naruto rest a little longer.
The minutes passed slowly and Sasuke stayed immobile, watching at the changing color of the sky. Somehow he thought he could get used to his new relationship with the blond, their new interactions and all. Even if things were different, they weren't completely bad. By the time he nearly fell back to sleep, lulled by the steady breathing at his side, the click of the door woke him. He growled to himself, aware of the only person who could dare to enter their house so casually. There was always a bunch of people coming in and out of here, but only one who had the keys. He listened to the light steps moving around, sure that soon they would be spotted and their peace would be broken. He heard her turn around, go to the kitchen, and then the steps were coming toward them.
He was right... she immediately unleashed hell on them.
"What are you doing to Naruto?!" Sakura shrieked, falling to her knees and prying the blond away from Sasuke's torso.
"Nothing." Sasuke answered coolly. "But, you're the one trying to suffocate him." He pointed a finger toward her chest where she kept Naruto's head tightly, the sleeping blond not trying to move away from the unexpected nice pillow. "Even without being compared to the old hag, you can still technically kill him."
She blushed, and hastily released Naruto, realizing how inappropriate it was to hold him to her breasts. The blond woke up, landing abruptly on his mattress and ruffling his hair, only half opening his eyes.
"That's not the problem here..." She accusingly mumbled to Sasuke, trying to hide her shame behind a fake righteous attitude. Sasuke immediately understood what she was implying.
Naruto yawned, and then blinked surprise to see the pinkette by his side. "Oh! Sakura! Good morning!" He innocently greeted unaware of the tension growing between his two best friends. He was so sound asleep that he hadn't noticed the ruckus, and was just groggily waking up. Sitting up straight the young jinchuuriki stretched his arms above his head, his back curving like a lazy cat after a long nap, and yawned one more time for good measure. Sasuke was right, talking and watching the stars helped him calm his mind: he felt so refreshed now that he'd had a few hours of real sleep.
Sakura blushed more, her cheeks the exact same color as her hair, meeting the cerulean blue eyes of her amnesic boyfriend. Feeling the warmth on her face spread to her neck at the idea of how natural it had been for her to hold him in her arms, she suddenly turned around, and in a not so subtle manner, crossed her arms over her breasts to hide their modest size.
"Yeah! The problem is you! We don't need you stepping in anytime you feel like it! I can take care of Naruto alone. " Sasuke growled in return to her accusing tone.
Her blood boiled to be thrown to the side by her teammate as if she was nothing more than collateral. "I was here before you and will be here long after you're gone! I have the same right to be here as you do! I am responsible for Naruto's recovery too, and from now on, I'm going to live here with him." Sakura replied impulsively in outrage, turning her head to hold the dark stare of the Uchiha.
"What the hell?! You can't decide that yourself!" Sasuke barked.
"You want me to ask the permission to the council maybe?" She suggested in a challenge, her tone fake sweet.
Sasuke's brow twitched dangerously, his teeth grinding in irritation. "You're annoying!" He stated bluntly.
Her jade eyes defiantly withstood the Uchiha's stare. "Some things never change, some do..." She let slip, finding a satisfactory victory in not backing down. She stood up proudly to go prepare breakfast, not fazed by Sasuke's opinion. He could find her annoying, she was no longer the innocent teenager blindly in love with him to get hurt by his mood. She knew that Naruto loved her... she just needed him to remember.
Naruto sat between them but couldn't quite follow their bickering, but he didn't want his two best friends to argue with each other. "Hey! Sasuke! It's not nice to talk to her like that! I don't mind if she comes and lives with us. We have plenty of rooms, it shouldn't be a problem." Naruto defended naively.
'Always her!' "Are you with me or against me?" Sasuke grouched, still infuriated by Sakura's ultimatum. He knew all too well that the council could interfere with his life at any moment, and if Sakura really wanted, she would have no difficulty convincing the old geezers to let her stay with them for Naruto's security. He lost and he hated it. Not expecting an answer Sasuke left, walking to the garden to cool his head. There was no point in a battle here, Naruto would never choose between them. The former rogue ninja crouched down between the plants and began to pluck out the weeds to pass his anger. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, pulling harder on the roots. He needed to find a way to get her out of the picture or she would get Naruto wrapped around her little finger like before in no time.
Naruto looked back and forth in the opposite directions his two friends had left in and sighed, unable to fix their quarrel. He couldn't understand his best friend. Sakura was such a sweet girl, always here to help and to take care of them. Why was Sasuke always so harsh with her? The blond flopped back on his mattress, watching some white clouds pass in the pale blue sky. Somehow, he felt like the activity was soothing and familiar; maybe he used to do something like that before, or maybe he did it with a good friend... Who knows?
Except for the nasty fragment of memories he got, his mind was still completely blank. Who was he? What was his past? He wasn't so sure he wanted to remember anymore. A part of him wanted nothing more than to let the scars of the past be buried deep in the blackness of oblivion. He already had Sasuke and Sakura. He could maybe build up a new life from there, get back to training to restore his former abilities and pick up life on the way to avoid facing more pain from his past.
A curtain of lovely pink hair came blocking his view a few minutes later, and his smile instinctively stretched seeing her face above his.
"Food is ready Naruto!" Sakura sing-songed cheerfully; happy to be able to do something for him, as little as it was, and blushed slightly at his contagious smile. For a second, she thought that it was one of his real smiles, and that he was back with her, like before. Her heart tightened, and she battled down her agitated emotions to not show him any form of sadness. She promised herself a long time ago that she would be strong to support him. Even if she insanely missed him, even if she was on the verge of breaking, this was the least she could do, for him and all the things he had done for her.
A burst of warmth filled his veins at the sight of her; she was so cute, here, with her gentle gaze on him, and then he noticed the spark of sorrow hiding in the jade eyes. He wanted so much to open his arms, and cradle her against his chest to chase away all the pain from her adorable gaze. He really couldn't understand Sasuke's harshness toward her. Whatever their problem was, a real man shouldn't make a girl sad, and Sakura even less.
"Come on, before it gets cold..." She invited him, forcing a smile as she tried to compose herself, pulling a curl behind her ear. Her throat felt so tight, and she knew she shouldn't stay like that for too long or she might just throw herself at him to find comfort in his arms. With apparent calmness, she straightened herself, and moved back in to finish bringing everything on the table.
Naruto sat up to watch her leave. His tongue was tied down, not knowing what to say. If he knew more about her, maybe he could find something to lift up her spirits or make her happy. Maybe his real self knew what to do. A heavy sigh escaped his lips; if it was the only thing he could do for her, he would have to go to the hospital again to find out.
Naruto stood and jumped into the garden. Enhancing his feet with chakra like Sasuke had shown him, the junchuuriki took one leap to land more or less gracefully near the dark-haired man. Naruto observed him pulling on the grass diligently. Somehow the gardening activity didn't quite fit the image Sasuke made about himself as an hardened shinobi. He knew the guy was kind at heart, even if Sasuke showed an emotionless face to most people; the blond got plenty of proof of that the last few days they had spent together, as Sasuke took care of him like a real brother.
Naruto crouched down near him. "Breakfast is ready. Would you come with me?"
"Not yet."
"Are you sulking?" This was hardly a question and more of an affirmation.
"No. I'm cleaning." Sasuke answered, his fingers digging in the soil to grab the root firmly.
"Do you like gardening that much?" Naruto insisted curious.
"No. It's your garden actually... you're the one who likes gardening. You always take care of it on our days off."
'For me...' "Oh? So I should do it instead of you – Come on Sasuke, let's have breakfast, I will do it later. It will be a good practice for me to be back in my old life." Naruto cheerfully suggested, poking the man's ribs with his elbow to make him move.
Sasuke frowned for the sake of appearance, but let himself get pulled by the blond. He owed his hope and his life to this man, what he could accept and what he would do for Naruto was beyond his imagination.
Sakura was already seated at the table at her usual spot, waiting for Naruto to join her. She had laid out a lavish breakfast, prepared very early that morning at her house to overthrow Sasuke's sunny-side-up-eggs in Naruto's heart. The blond's smile shone like a hundred watts, some saliva already dripping on the side of his mouth at all the delicious food spread before him.
"Waaaa... Sakura! Did you prepare all that for us?" Naruto asked her amazed, taking the spot at her side and eagerly serving himself.
Sasuke looked down on the table, acknowledging the effort without showing any sign of emotion, and walked past it to go in the kitchen. It was nice of her to treat them to such a feast, but he wasn't in the mood to eat and she didn't bring the only thing that he might really want: coffee.
Sakura watched him pass without stopping at the table, her fists tightening at the cold attitude of her teammate. She had prepared Sasuke's favorite food, too, as a sign of her good intentions toward him. She didn't come with any desire for battle, she just ended up bursting out an open challenge on the terrace driven by her legendary bad temper. But she didn't want him to consider her an enemy. She missed their old interactions, when they would talk and train together. Was it all Naruto's magic? Naruto, the only bond between them? She sighed as the tall stature of the dark-haired man disappeared through the kitchen door. Even if she could stay here, with or without his consent, she hoped that at least the cohabitation would be more cordial than in the hospital.
Her attention returned fully to her amnesic boyfriend when the blond man praised her, his mouth full of food. Normally she would have been enraged, bonking his head to teach him proper manners, but instead a tender smile bloomed on her face at the familiar bad habit of eating and talking at the same time. All those small trivial things, taken for granted or previously irking her temper – All those insignificant details, parts of him she had learned to love along the years – All of him, whatever it was, took on another dimension now that she had lost them. If she could go back in time, change the years she wasted with him, change the course of history to keep him unharmed, change everything which choked her with regrets today. If she could...
She strained her smile, to not let it falter, hiding her tear-filled eyes by pretending to eat her plate. It was so hard; she felt so vulnerable and precariously standing on the verge of sanity without her real Naruto to give her courage. She forced herself to eat a little to distract her heart from the ache of being a stranger to him, but it was too much for her to withstand. She gasped, taking a large breath to calm her ragged emotions. She could feel the nausea building up in her throat, and the damn broke when Sasuke came back from the kitchen with a steaming cup of fresh coffee, as if the man knew what to do to make her feel even more miserable. The smell insidiously reaching her nostrils got the better of her. She couldn't bear that specific smell recently, and she had no other choice than to dash to the restroom to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
Naruto, surprised, let his chopsticks fall from his hand, seeing her run abruptly away. His stunned gaze encountered Sasuke as he sat at his spot in front of her previous place. The dark-haired man's eyes briefly looked in direction of the bathroom but nonetheless acted perfectly unperturbed by her strange attitude, ready to sip his coffee nonchalantly. With a glance above his cup, he noticed Naruto's insistent glare on him.
"Don't look at me like that! I didn't do anything to her..." Sasuke defended himself.
Without exchanging a word, Naruto pushed his chair back to go check on her, feeling somewhat angry at Sasuke for no specific reason. He rapidly reached the ground-floor bathroom and immediately heard the guttural sound of violent regurgitation. He paused, his heart clenching in his chest each time she vomited, imagining her frail body convulsing at the intense spasms. She sounded like she was in a pitiful state. The blond waited for her to finish, and when for few seconds she didn't continue, he hesitantly made her aware his presence.
"Sakura... Are you ok? Do you need me to call a doctor?"
"...fine..." He barely heard her weak voice muffled by the thickness of the door.
"Sure?" Naruto insisted, not really believing her after witnessing her vomiting for more than five minutes.
"I'm fine..." She repeated a bit more strongly, probably recovering slightly from such an intense activity.
"Ah-huh... Can I do...? I don't know... Can I do something for you?" Naruto tried uncertain, waiting a few seconds before hearing her shift around a bit and the shuffle of clothes.
"Hmm... Maybe..." She accepted, her voice a little rough from putting her throat through such bad treatment. "Can you lend me a shirt? I need to wash my top..." she asked timidly.
"Yeah! I will be right back!" Naruto shouted, already climbing the stairs to go to his room.
As unaffected as he looked Sasuke didn't miss an ounce of their exchange, and as soon as the blond ran up, he teleported himself inside the bathroom to have a much needed talk with Sakura. The woman shrieked in surprise, hiding her nearly bare chest with her arms as her teammate materialized out of nowhere at the side of the sink where she was rinsing her top. Instinctively, her hand flew toward the face of the man for a ferocious slap, but Sasuke wasn't the type to be surprised by any form of attack and caught her wrist in a vice grip, knowing the power the woman was capable of.
"If you're sick, go back home." He told her without niceties. He'd seen Naruto's behavior toward her enough to be sure that the blond would want to nurse her back to health, even at the risk of getting sick himself.
"I'm not sick." She forcibly pulled on her arm to free herself, and covered her chest with a small hand towel by the sink to keep some modesty. "Whatever you're here for, can you turn around at least?" She requested, her face darkly blushing at being exposed in front of him.
"I don't care!" Sasuke said haughtily, not at all affected by the pearly soft skin on display. From a fairly young age women of all types had thrown themselves at him, and he was completely immune to those charms as long as he was concerned with more important business.
Furious and embarrassed, Sakura began to turn around to give him her back, but he firmly grabbed her shoulder to keep her in place to continue their short talk. His grip was strong, slightly digging his fingers into her to hold her still. However it mostly was the surprise which made her freeze more than the force he put in his gesture.
"I heard you vomiting – You can't fool me!" He declared, assertive. "Don't you think we have enough problems without risking infecting him with whatever you have? Stop being selfish!" He spat, releasing her, letting her stagger off balance against the wall.
She was stunned and hurt deep down from his words. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to look weak. But she couldn't, it was too heavy to carry this any longer, it was beyond her will, and her tears began to roll down her cheeks.
"He won't get sick." She mumbled, trying to get a grip on her emotions, rubbing her eyes with both her wrists to dry the tears.
"I know you want to help him, but it will just be more trouble!" Sasuke huffed, trying to explain himself more nicely this time. He was angry at her, but he never really wanted to hurt her.
"He won't get sick because I'm not sick!" She insisted more firmly, getting fed up by Sasuke's stubbornness. She was exhausted, she was in so much pain already... She needed some support and not someone to fight with. He looked at her incredulously, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting for her to change her mind. The man wouldn't let her go without the whole story. She hid her face in her hands, ready to break down, and admit what she had kept to herself since she discovered it almost two weeks ago. "I'm pregnant!" She blurted out, her body slightly wobbling by finally confessing it aloud to someone.
She didn't need to say or do more to have the air blown out of his lungs completely. He hadn't expected this. His hand came up to cover his mouth, realizing how harshly he had treated her, his eyes focused on her. She suddenly appeared incredibly frail in the soft morning light coming from the small windows of the bathroom. The strong Sakura was nowhere to be found in her huddled form, with her back slightly crouched forward and her face in her hands. Sasuke took a step back and let his other hand rest on the sink for support. An eternity stretched between them, her eyes tightly shut and his staring into space, unable to see anything. It took him a while to dare to break the silence.
"Who's the father?" He finally asked, passing tense fingers through his hair, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Please... Don't ask me that..." She pleaded with a trembling voice, shaking her head as if she refused to hear the question. She could already feel the small pearls of water savagely escaping from the corner of her closed eyes. 'Don't make me say it out loud,' she prayed internally.
The silence again, uncomfortable, heavy, and Sasuke jolted in realization.
"Don't tell me..." The Uchiha exclaimed, surprise seizing him. The dark gaze shifted toward her, seeing her in a new light. He didn't need more confirmation that the confession given by her posture, her body shaking by her restrained sob like a wounded animal. He hadn't finished his sentence, understanding now the depth of her pain. It was Naruto...
All along he had been so blind, thinking that they were just two idiots turning around each other... but he was the one who refused to see their relationship change. It was so obvious now, all those times where Naruto clumsily hid his love and she faked not being interested. If the situation were a bit different, he might have laughed at himself to have been fooled so drastically. He didn't see it coming, but it was now a fact, an ironic reality.
"What do you plan to do?" He asked softly, his voice all gentle as if he was afraid to hurt her with his words.
"I – I don't know." She admitted, feeling tired from the rush of emotions, her body suddenly empty, nothing left to continue to crying over her fate of being pregnant from a man who had completely forgotten who she was.
He shifted his weight to his other leg and turned his head to the side; finally uncomfortable to have her so undressed in front of him as the thought of her being intimate with Naruto sank into his brain. His fingers tightened on the edge of the sink, more questions burning on his lips.
"Will you keep it?" He probed hesitantly.
She sadly laughed, straightening up, her hands abandoning her face and staring at the Uchiha with her tear brimmed eyes. "Even you can't ask me that!" Sakura stated, all her strength gathered in that second to stand tall and face her fate. However difficult it might be, she would never be able to conceive such an idea of killing a part of Naruto. Even in the worst situation, if her lover never remembered her, she would not abandon what was left of her treasured love.
Sasuke lowered his eyes, lost for words. It was something he was unfamiliar with, all those emotions. All his life had been only about revenge and hatred, refusing and battling his precious bonds, while she always stayed strong like Naruto. She never gave into despair, enduring the pain, cherishing whatever she had, and today protecting the life within her and a love maybe gone forever. He couldn't stop himself from admiring her in that second; her, so courageous with her tears stained cheeks.
"I could be a father for your child if you need." He shyly suggested, not knowing what more he could do than to bear with her the charge of Naruto's child.
Sakura snorted at his offer, guessing he was doing it all for Naruto again. "No thanks!" She refused plainly. "I can already imagine how terrible a father you would be: disappearing for at least twelve years and coming back one day as if nothing happened. I prefer to go into exile and tell my child that his father is dead than to gave him false hope with a father who'll never be there."
"You would leave?" Sasuke questioned, baffled at such a possibility. It seemed unthinkable to him to have her or Naruto ever leave Konoha.
"Have you ever seen the Fourth Hokage? If the baby inherits the same gene, I couldn't possibly stay around Naruto without raising suspicions about his paternity." Sakura darkly joked. She had been so shocked when meeting Naruto's father during the war at how remarkably similar they were; there was no doubt she would need to go far away to avoid people noticing the strong resemblance with her baby. She sighed, completely drained, pressing the small towel against her chest and her gaze averting his eyes. "Do you have more questions or can I have some privacy to clean myself up?" She demanded, faking a strength she didn't have.
Ashamed and troubled by the whole ordeal, the Uchiha just shook his head in denial and turned around to leave right away.
She stopped him one last time before his hand reached the doorknob, her voice timid and beseeching. "Don't tell him anything! Not a single word, please..."
Sasuke nodded as his only answer. If it was what she wanted, he would respect her choice. Opening the door, he found a folded orange tee-shirt. He picked up the cloth and set it down on the corner of the sink without any comments. With the turmoil of the revelation, they completely forgot about the possibility of eavesdroppers. Their eyes met, aware that her secret might not be a secret anymore. But Sasuke decided that he wouldn't break his vow of silence. Sakura already had enough to deal with, she could at least make her own decision of what was best for them. He would just stay close by in the shadows, ready to be the friend he had never been for her before.
REVIEWS IS PROOF THAT YOUR STILL HERE. REVIEWS ARE MY MOTIVATION. YOU'RE MY MOTIVATION.
WITHOUT YOU I LOSE ALL PURPOSE IN WRITING THIS