Chapter Fourteen

She sat curiously in her own little booth. Dreams that felt more and more like memories, real life events, playing out in her mind as she waited for her coffee. And the more she had them, the more she was convinced that she wasn't just dreaming.

They were too vivid...

And to dream of someone before you ever even saw them... was impossible.

She didn't want to think of why or how right now. Only prove to herself first, that she wasn't delusional.

They felt too real.

It was all real.

She kept telling herself over and over. And when her coffee finally came to her, set down on a table she knew to be theirs, Kate cupped it in both hands. This was not just a cup of coffee anymore...

It's a good morning without the kiss.

It's a warm smile of mutual and unspoken affection.

And she does smile... that beautiful curve of her lips she hadn't let herself grace the world with in a long time.

But here was why.

She sat here alone... he hadn't brought it to her, eyes shining, grin on his face...she knew that grin. She saw it yesterday at the aquarium. She heard it in his voice when he spoke to her. She knew there was a reason for him looking so pained...

But why...

If they knew each other...why was he hiding it?

The bell dinged over the door as it swung open, and she saw a flash of red through her eyelashes as she took the first heavenly sip. Kate's eyes closed for a moment as she tasted it, and she could almost smell him close by.

When she opened them again, she caught the girl as she quickly looked away. Kate had seen her here before...and her brow creased in thought. Yes... a few days ago... held the door open to her and almost... if she's not mistaken... almost said her name?

Maybe...

or not..

But... hmmm

"Two coffees, please."The redhead asked the man behind the counter, all sweetly and with a sweep of her hair over her shoulder.

Kate knew her...somewhere. Maybe not well. But they did know one another. Kate could tell by the way the girl tried not to look her way... failing miserably when her blues caught in Kate's green for not even a fraction of a second.

She had the same blue eyes... not as magnifying and memorable as his... but Kate knew she was not mistaken...and her name... an A came to mind...A L...

Ally?

Aliza..

No wait... something with an x and an le sound...

Kate toyed with the variations, tongue pressed to the roof of her mouth as she sounded out with L.

Lex

Lexis..

Alexis.

"I saw Alexis today." Kate said sitting at Ryan's dining room table that night. And she watched with determination as Ryan choked on his food, Esposito wiped his mouth, and Lanie cleared her throat. Jenny stood from the table, and started to clear plates saying nothing at all if not throwing Ryan a worried look as he got a hold of himself.

"Who?" Lanie asked taking a sip of her wine. One eyebrow raised as she looked into her glass.

Kate finished chewing her food, setting her fork down lightly on her napkin before shrugging her shoulders. "Alexis." She said again, making sure to look at every single person in the room.

They all looked back at her perplexed. Not convincingly but no one was budging.

"I don't know, Sweetie." Lanie said setting the glass down.

"Someone from a past case maybe?" Ryan asked, looking to Jenny with 'help' written in his eyes.

"Doesn't sound familiar." Esposito piped in.

"Dessert?" Jenny asked and everyone turned.

"Oh! What are we having?" Ryan asked getting up from the table too quickly.

"Cheesecake." Jenny replied happily.

"Mmm sounds good." Lanie hummed

Espo only nodded eyes wide and licking his lips.

"I would love some." Kate finally said humming softly before letting it go.

For now anyway.

The lack of inquiring minds needing to know more made her suspicious. She felt guilty...nearly hated herself for feeling so apprehensive. Distrustful of her friends...but she knew them... and something wasn't adding up.

This whole dinner felt off... Did they normally have dinners at Ryan's house? Or was it just because she was recovering... or keeping a closer eye on her for more than just her health...

And she couldn't help but feel there was someone missing.

It's all she's ever been feeling since she got out of the hospital.. Like someone is missing...and she was lost.. feeling as though she was completely alone in it.

And as everyone settled back at the table, a plate of cheesecake set in front of her, Kate couldn't help that her eyes kept straying to the empty chair across from her.

It was dark aside from the lone streetlight. But there was something she could see here that she couldn't before. Inside Kate managed to hide it all. But here.. as the three of them stood out on his front steps, Jenny was not blind.

"Gonna catch a cab?" Ryan asked, wrapping an arm around Jenny's shoulders. They watched as Kate took a step down, taking in a lungful of August night air, before she looked back at them.

She shook her head, pursing her lips in a small smile, "I think I'll walk."

"It is beautiful out." Jenny said, closing her own eyes and breathing it all in. "But it's a long walk...why don't you just let Kevin drive you home?" She nudged him lightly in the ribs, a wide smile, eyes bright.

"Oh." He coughed. " Yea. Beckett I can take you home." He offered as his fiancee gave him the 'be polite' eyes.

Kate looked down at the ground, a small chuckle at their adorable antics and then shook her head. "No, that's okay, I have my mandatory therapy appointment tomorrow..." She rolled her eyes. "Kind of need to clear my head, you know." She took the last few steps down, pushing her hands into her pockets as the night started to pull her into its shadow.

"Can't wait to have you back, Becks." He tilted his head to one side, blue eyes sincere as Kate waved and started off down the sidewalk.

Jenny sighed sadly as Kate slipped into the darkness, and pushed her hand up Ryan's chest, resting her head on his shoulder. "How can we keep her from what we have?" She asked.

Ryan leaned away, rubbed her arm as he looked into her sad eyes. "It's keeping her alive."

Jenny's lip came out in a severe pout, and she fixed him with a look of denial. She let him go, taking a step back before looking fiercely down the sidewalk. "You can't tell me, That's living."