Nick finally woke up two hours later, and after the eleventh time that Warrick had poured water over his face. His eyes fluttered open slowly, and he immediatly felt the dull pain in his chest throbbing slowly. Every breath he took stung a little bit, his muscles felt heavy, and he was fairly dizzy. Nick sat up slowly, with some help from Catherine, and ran his hands over his face several times before his vision finally cleared enough for him to look around at his friends. The looks on their faces reminded him of what had happened, and he immediatly wished that he was either asleep again, or anywhere else in the world than where he was right now.

"How are you feeling?" Grissom asked.

Nick shrugged. "Okay I guess."

"Considering you tried to kill yourself," Warrick said harshly. "What were you thinking?"

"Where's Greg?" Nick asked, ignoring his best friend's concern for him. When no one answered, Nick stood up slowly. "Where is he? He couldn't have gone far. I'll go looking for him if i have to, but you could save me a lot of time if you just tell me where he is."

"He doesn't want to see you Nicky," Catherine said softly. "He's still upset over what...almost happened."

"Where is he?" Nick asked for the third time.

"On the other side," Warrick said, pointing with his finger. "He hasn't moved since he went around to see what all the comotion was about when we were trying to wake you up."

"He...he saw?" Nick asked. Warrick nodded slowly. "How much did he see?"

Warrick sighed. "He saw you shaking on the ground and heard Lanser when he told us that you tried to kill yourself. He hasn't moved since. He wouldn't come back over here because he said he couldn't look at you."

Warrick had barely had time to get the last syllable out before Nick started walking to the other side of the bunker. The sun was starting to go down behind the rolling hills in the distance, casting everything in a bright red, calming glow. It hadn't even taken Nick a minute to walk along the side wall of the bunker and round the corner on the left to get to the back wall, where he found Greg sitting on the ground with his back against the concrete barrier behind him. His knees were against his chest, and his pale, skinny arms were resting on his knees. His his were overlapping one another, and were shaking slightly. Nick approached slowly, and when his prescence became known to Greg, the younger man stood and faced Nick, waiting for him to draw closer.

Nick hadn't even gotten to think of what he wanted to say before he felt Greg's fist collide with his jawbone. Nick was surprised and taken off guard. He stumbled back a bit, and then Greg hit him again in the chest, sending Nick back against the wall. Greg's hands were shaking and his punches became less painful as his body became wracked with sobs. Nick kept his hands pinned down by his side and stared into Greg's eyes, watching as the rage and hate slowly drained out and was replaced by pain and guilt.

"Why did you try to kill youself?" Greg tried to yell, but his voice was so weak it came out as a whisper.

"Greg-" Nick started, but was cut off by his boyfriend punching him in the chest. Again.

"Answer the question Nick," he said. "Why did you try to kill yourself?"

"To save you," Nick said, and in reply, Greg hit him again. After catching his breath, Nick elaborated. "I thought it was my only chance to guarantee your safety. I kept thinking, what if Archie's friend can't find a way around it? What if we both end up having to die? I didn't think that was fair. You deserve to live more than I do. I was trying to make sure you were going to be safe."

"So you just walked across the line, hoping that you'd die before anyone could stop you?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah, that was the plan."

Greg punched Nick again. "What about me Nick? How did you expect me to be able to live knowing the fact that you killed yourself to save me? How can you think that I'd be able to move on after that?"

"I just wanted to-"

"Do you know why I tell you that I love you at least five times a day?" Greg asked, ignoring the fact that Nick had begun to speak. When Nick didn't offer a response, Greg continued. "It's because I'm so fucking scared that it's going to be the last time I see you. I'm so scared that at any momemt, I'll lose you forever, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want the last thing you hear me say to be the one thing that comes remotely close to describing how I feel about you."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," Nick said softly. His chest was tight because of the punches from Greg and the things that he was saying. "I was trying to save you. I love you so much that I would give my life to make sure that you were going to be safe."

"I don't want to be safe if it means I can't be with you," Greg said.

Nick carefully took Greg's shaking hands in his own steady ones. "When we started dating, it was the best time of my life because for the first time, I didn't have to pretend to be happy. I could finally fall asleep at night peacefully because the reality of waking up next to you was better than any dream I could ever have."

"Then why were you trying to leave me?" Greg asked as tears started to fall from his eyes.

"I wasn't trying to leave you," Nick said, gently pulling Greg against him. "I was trying to keep you alive. I felt helpless and thought I was left with no other choice."

Greg shook his head slowly. "Everyone that has ever told me that they would always be there for me has left me. I never thought you'd do it too."

"I'm still here," Nick said.

"For how long?" Greg asked. "Until everyone falls asleep and you can sneak off to die alone in the middle of the desert?"

The sun was now almost completely behind the hills, and the lack of light was casting shadows across Greg's pale face. His hair looked darker than it ever had, and his eyes were almost black. His eyelashes seemed to extend longer and thinner all the way up his forhead, but they were merely shadows. Nick looked down at the sandy ground at his own shadow. It was standing by itself. Greg's shadow was on the other side of them; Nick's on the left, Greg's on the right. They were torn apart, standing alone. But they were merely shadows.

"Something's wrong if I care about you more than you care about yourself," Greg said, breaking the impending silence. "If I can't trust you with your own heart, how can I trust you with mine?"

Nick looked back up into Greg's dark eyes. "I would never intentionally hurt you," Nick whispered.

"That's what makes this so hard," Greg replied, taking his hands away from Nick's. "You never know when you are."

Greg leaned forward and pressed his lips against Nick's. Just as Nick was going to draw Greg in deeper, the younger man pulled away and looked at Nick sadly.

"So do you mean..." Nick trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud.

"I mean I'm leaving this entirely up to you. I'm going to go back to our team. Our friends. Our family. You can follow me, you can stay here, or you can take four steps forward and finish what you started," Greg said slowly. "But whatever you do, you need to know that I love you, and you need to understand why I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Nick asked, knowing immediatly that he'd regret it.

The last traces of the vanishing sun reflected off the tears flowing down Greg's cheeks. "This," Greg whispered so softly that Nick almost hadn't heard him.

Greg turned and slowly walked away, heading back the way Nick had come. As Greg turned the corner, the sun finally disappeared behind the hills, making everything else as hard to see and comprehend as what Greg had just said to Nick.