Episode 4: Reptilian Pain (Part 3)
Crocodile Cade laid in a sofa in his large trailer, reading a newspaper. He was wearing a white bathrobe.
His cameraman, a short black man with curly hair walked up to him. "Cade, there are four kids here to see you."
"Are they more fans? Tell them to go away. My ears are still recovering from those screaming girls that ambushed us when we arrived here." Cade said, frowning.
"I don't think they are fans. They are wearing uniforms." The cameraman leaned in a little and lowered his voice. "I think they are Grossologists."
This startled Cade a bit. He stood up and walked to the door. When he opened it he was greeted by Ray, Creepy-Crawly, Iris and Zoey in their Slimesuits.
"Um, hey. Can I help you with something?" Cade asked with a slight Australien accent.
Ray was smiling widely. He tried to say something but not a coherent word came out. Creepy-Crawly rolled her eyes before shoving Ray out of the way. "We are from the bureau of Grossology sir and we have come for your protection." She stated.
Crocodile Cade blinked surprised.
Crocodile Cade welcomed the team in and they explained the situation for him.
"Are you sure it's Silus?" Cade asked.
"Sadly it is. We meet him." Zoey replied.
"Although he was hard to recognize with all that leathery skin." Creepy-Crawly huffed.
"Crocodile Cade, sir? What happened to Silus?" Ray asked. "You have never mention where he went."
Cade sighed. "Well, it was hardly the happiest chapter of my life."
"Oh, are you writing a memoir?" Ray squeaked enthusiastically.
Cade stared weirdly at him. "Um…no."
"Oh." Ray sounded disappointed.
Flashback.
"Me and Silus had just finished our work on monitor lizards in India." Cade explained. "On our way back to the hotel we came across a snake charmer. You know, one of those with a flute. Anyway, he had an entire box filled with cobras and one in a jar that danced to his fluit. The thing about most snake charmers are that they remove the fangs of their snakes so they won't bite them. Tragically, this leads to the snake slowly starving to death. I was of course disgusted by this charade of manly courage but Silus was a bit more than disgusted."
Silus grit his teeth before running up to the snake charmer. He kicked away the jar with the cobra and grabbed the flute before forcing it down the frightened snake charmer's throat. He then flipped the box filled with cobras. The snakes slithered out on the grass and the audience that had been enjoying the show ran away, screaming in fear. Silus Snake laughed maniacally until Crocodile Cade came up from behind and knocked him unconscious.
"Silus was charged with attempted manslaughter. Thankfully the studio could pay the fine for his release but they fired him for embarrassing the studio."
"I haven't heard from him since." Crocodile Cade finished his story.
"Whow! Silus Snake went off the deep end." Ray exclaimed.
"Well, he was always a pretty weird guy…but he would neve harm me." Cade stated, standing up. That was when someone knocked on the door. "Wait a minute." Crocodile Cade went to open the door but Ray ran ahead of him.
"Let me take it. It might be Silus." Ray said. "Creepy, you are with me."
"Why should I be a human shield, I almost broke my spine yesterday?" Creepy-Crawly asked annoyed.
"Just do it, lazy-pants." Zoey spat.
Creepy-Crawly sighed and went to open the door with Ray. Ray opened the door but there was no one there. They looked around but the only thing they saw was a CD on the ground with the text PLAY ME. Ray picked it up and the two exchanged curious looks.
They went back in and played the CD on a television screen. Silus Snake appeared on screen with a sadistic grin. "Hey Cade, you old wallaby butcher. It's me, your old pal Silus Herp. I hope you recognize me despite my baldness." He stroked his scalp with his hands. "And that I now have scaly skin, sharp fangs and this tail." Silus held up his tail to show them. "In only the last couple of days I have taken the marsh back for the frogs and I have stricken a serious blow to the skin trade. I have saved more reptiles in this tiny little town in a few days than you have for years with your televised hippie message about protecting the environment. There is therefore no reason for you to continue with your work so at today's conference you will announce that you are going to retire early otherwise all your fans will become snake snacks."
The video message ended.
Creepy Crawly crossed her arms and made a sarcastic sound. "Whup-whup-whup."
Later at the conference. Ray arrived along with Candice, NJ and Hugo.
"Sad that Iris, CC and Zoey couldn't join us." Candice said.
"They were too busy spring cleaning." Ray exclaimed.
"More room for us." NJ stated as they took their seats. Molina and Rachel arrived wearing really big summer hats. They sat down right in front of Ray and his friends.
"Aw, come on!" Candice wailed.
"We can't see anything." Hugo complained.
Molina turned to them, smirking. "What? Its hot outside and these hats helps us keep cool."
"Good but you are indoors now so you can take them off." Candice exclaimed, leaning back in her chair.
While his friends where busy arguing, Ray checked the ceiling. He saw Zoey and Creepy-Crawly in their slimesuits, standing vigilantly up on a gallery, ready in case Silus Snake would show up. He gave them a thumb up and they waved to him in response.
Crocodile Cade walked up to the podium with a large smile and for a bit over an hour things went according to plan. Crocodile Cade talked about the show, his new book and other things before answering the fans' questions.
After some time Rachel reached up her hand. "I have a question about the crocodile teeth on your hat. Is it true that you wrestled an alligator for them?"
Cade struggled not to sigh. "No, I have never wrestled an alligator. I got these teeth from my dad's wildlife sanctuary in Australia. We capture animals that gotten to close to humans before relocating them to safer environments. Sometimes we get in crocodiles and they lose their teeth all the time. Okay, we have a few minutes left so does anyone have any really important questions?"
A tall man in fedora and trench coat stood up. One could not see his face. "Yes, I wonder if you consider retiring soon?" The question put both Ray and Crocodile Cade on edge.
"Um, no I have no plans for retiring any time soon. Maybe in twenty years or so." Cade replied with a nervous chuckle.
"But won't your premature death make it hard to continue the show?" The man asked darkly.
"What does that mean?" Cade asked.
The man held up a green scaly hand and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, the doors shut open and a giant green anaconda slithered in with a sharp hiss. It was larger than any other anaconda. People screamed in horror and ran toward the backdoors in the other end of the room. In the chaos, Ray managed to sneak out of sight. Just as Crocodile Cade was about to open the back doors an equally giant Rock Python came thru those very doors. It wrapped its body around Cade's body in a crushing hug. Now people really started to panic.
Silus Snake threw his trench coat into the air and laughed amused. "Eat my darlings! Have some growth hormone-free snacks for once." He zeroed in on the tangled up Cade and jumped towards him but before he reached him Creepy-Crawly swopped in. She pinned Silus to the floor, her wings and mandibles bared. "I have been waiting for a rematch."
Silus Snake managed to kick her off with his powerful legs. Creepy-Crawly thou managed to flap her wings before she hit the floor and landed safely. Silus stood up and looked hungrily at Creepy-Crawly. He licked his lips with a snakelike tong. "I think my frog-genes are affecting my appetite. You look good enough to eat, bug."
"I would give you indigestion." Creepy-Crawly spat.
Meanwhile, NJ enthusiastically watched the fight. "This is cooler than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"
"Stop getting distracted. We need to find a way out of here so we don't get eaten." Candice told to him.
Zoey used her rot-powers to make a large opening in the wall. "This way everyone!" She shouted and everyone ran out. Hugo stopped to take a look at her but he didn't recognize her because of her uniform and Kid Rot-like appearance. He smiled none the less.
"Thanks." He said before running off.
Zoey blushed a little. Her moment of happiness was short lived thou when the Rock Python came up to her. "Alright you giant worm, follow me." The redhead exclaimed and ran further into the building. The snake, attracted by all the heat Zoey was radiating followed her.
Meanwhile, Creepy-Crawly and Silus Snake continued their fight when Ray flew above them with his jetpack and wrapped Silus Snake up in his webbing. "Mind if I cut in?"
"Mind if I do?" Silus Snake retorted with a smirk. He spun around and ripped the webbing apart with his claws. He then jumped up into the air, made a flip and stuck to the ceiling with his feet. "I also picked up some gecko-genes on the way here."
Ray scowled before flying toward his opponent. Silus Snake took out a spash-back frog from his west and threw it right onto Ray's face. Ray screamed. "No, it burns." Silus Snake leaped from the ceiling, landed on top of Ray and ripped his jetpack apart.
Creepy-Crawly flew of the floor and tried to catch her falling teammate. Unfortunately Ray crashed right into her head and they both crashed to the floor. Silus Snake landed safely on the floor. With the Grossologists temporarily out of the fight he could now focus on Crocodile Cade. He jumped up on the back of his anaconda as it continued crushing Cade.
Silus Snake smiled sadistically at his former partner. "Doesn't this bring back memories? You and me wrestling anacondas together, the only difference is that now I am on the scaly side. What is it Cade? Are your lungs too squeezed to say anything?"
"No, I have something to tell you Silus." Cade said.
"Oh, and what is that?"
Crocodile Cade suddenly turned into Iris. "I am not Cade." Her neck ejected and her hard cranium collided with Silus's. The reptilian man fell unconscious to the floor.
Iris tried to struggle free from the snakes grip but it didn't help. Fortunately Creepy-Crawly and Ray had come to. Creepy-Crawly landed on the snake's neck like a mosquito and bit it in its most vulnerable area, its earhole. The snake wriggled in pain and released its grip of Iris. The anaconda hissed threateningly as it fruitlessly tried to get to Creepy-Crawly. In that moment Iris flew in, seized the snakes tong and gave it an electric shock. The snake fell unconscious to the ground.
Iris and Creepy-Crawly landed on the ground. The goth gave the android a confused look. "Why didn't you do that before?"
"Electric shocks often constrict muscles so if I did that while I was still trapped the snake would only have crushed me harder." Iris explained.
Ray finished up webbing Silus, this time he made sure not to leave the villain's claws free. "Nice job girls." He then looked around and started to get worried. "Where is Zoey? And where is the Rock Python?"
The snake had managed to hunt Zoey into a corner but each time it tried to bite her Zoey shocked it with a rot-blast. It was only strong enough to cause miner harm. Zoey didn't want to kill the animal if she could avoid it.
A sudden spit of acid hit the python's back. It hurt and the snakes turned around to see Creepy-Crawly standing in a bathroom. "Hey leggless, try to mess with someone your own freaky!"
The snake turned around and slithered as fast as it could towards Creepy-Crawly, once close enough it striked.
*CRASH*
It hit its head against the mirror which cracked. The snake's head fell to the floor along with shards off glass. Creepy-Crawly actually stood in the other end of the bathroom. "I am magical!" She jubilated.
Some moments later, the police had arrived.
Detective Gerome lead Silus Snake to the police car in handcuffs. Before they reached the car thou they meet Crocodile Cade. He had a disappointed frown on his face.
"Cade!" Silus exclaimed. "You betrayed me and then you haven't even the balls to show up to face me."
"I didn't betray you Silus." Cade stated. "I stopped you from doing something even worse. I am sad that this is what you did with your life."
"Well, this isn't the end of me! I will be back and the Mesozoic will rise again!" Silus exclaimed while Gerome tried to force him into the police car. "Oh, by the way Grossologists, I called my lawyers earlier and they told me I still legally own the name Silus Snake. Do you hear me? I am Silus Sn- hfff." Gerome shoved him into the car and closed the door.
"Geez, how can a man with a forked tong talk so much?" Gerome sighed.
Zoey walked up to Creepy-Crawly. "Hey, thanks for saving me."
"Meh, it's what badasses do." Creepy-Crawly retorted, smirking.
"I guess you are off the hook with the entire spring-cleaning thing." Zoey stated.
"No, I'm not. Spring time is still here and I want to make it up to you." Creepy-Crawly said.
The next day…
Crocodile Cade (the real one this time) walked up to a podium as an applauding audience celebrated his arrival. Ray, Iris, Candice, Hugo & NJ was sitting in the front row.
"It was nice of Crocodile Cade to have a second conference after that weird thing with the snakes." Candice said once they sat down.
"Yeah, except now we get to sit in the front row," NJ said and wrapped an arm around Rachel, "with the babes."
He tried to kiss her but Rachel pushed him away. "Ewe, you're so sweaty."
Molina scowled with her arms crossed over her busty chest. "How did you get better tickets this time by the way?"
Hugo jerked his thumb at Ray. "Ray somehow got us new seats."
Molina blinked puzzled. "How?"
"That is for me to know and you to not ignore." Ray stated.
Crocodile Cade started talking and everyone turned their attention to him. Taking advantage of the moment, Ray took out his Crocodile Cade notebook and opened it. He smiled at a text written with ballpoint pen.
'From a Professional Herpetologist to a great Grossologist.
Your friend, Crocodile Cade.'
Meanwhile at Abby's home.
Creepy-Crawly turned-off the vacuum cleaner and sighed from exhaustion after having methodically cleaned the kitchen. She smiled a bit thou.
Abby walked up to her. She smiled proudly and placed a hand on the goth girl's shoulder. "Nicely done Creepy."
"Thanks Mrs. Archer. I guess it was time for me to pay you guys back for letting me stay here."
"Oh, that's okay. We would allow you to stay no matter what. We know that you are new to things like choirs and rules and such but we also know that you are trying your best. We are very happy to have you here." Abby exclaimed.
Creepy-Crawly smiled brightly. "You know, I have cleaned houses before." She said. "Once my dad, Sloppy Joe didn't give me the puppy I wanted for my birthday so I cleaned his entire living room. He got so frustrated I thought he was going to have a heart attack." Creepy-Crawly and Abby bursted out laughing.
"Yeah, that sound like old Sloppy alright." Abby said.
Zoey came down the stairs, wearing yellow rubber gloves. "Alright, I finished cleaning the bathrooms. All that is left now is the living room."
"Oh, I had my friend clean it." Creepy-Crawly exclaimed.
"What friends?" Abby asked puzzled.
The three women walked to the living room. What they saw made Abby drop her jaw.
The entire room was filled with ants that cleaned it by carrying away with dirt and dust bunnies, leaving in armadas thru the terrace door and walking in again in equally large troops.
"Well, you said you wanted help," Creepy-Crawly shrugged, "So I did what I could."
Author's Note:
So that was that of Reptilian Pain. I have to admit I am not too proud of this episode. I think the problem was that I had no idea what the focus would be. Should it have been on Ray's admiration of Crocodile Cade, Zoey & Creepy-Crawly's relationship, Ray & Iris's relationship, Silus Snake's backstory? I didn't know I didn't think all of it thru and it ended up having the same ending as the other episodes but I did the best I could with what I had. I guess I could go back and rewrite this but that would feel too much like cheating. Hopefully it was still worth reading. I promise the next episode will be a bit more original and thought out.
What kept me going was writing for Silus Snake. He is a very entertaining villain and I will definitely use him in later episodes. Plus, we got to see the girls kicking ass which I always enjoy writing.
Hope you leave a review.