The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you will see. - Churchill
It had been a few weeks since break had ended and, judging from the amount of time Eleanor spent away from Tom, she had found plenty of new friends since then. He could barely get a second alone with her without someone interrupting them – it seemed as soon as she had been allowed to step out of her shell, she had transformed into a social butterfly.
Tom and Eleanor were having breakfast. Meals were practically the only time they had talked since the holidays ended, what with her running around with various other students. They sat next to each other during classes of course, but between lessons and all of Eleanor's "friends" clamoring to catch up with her, there wasn't really time for Tom to get a word in. While Tom was gulping down his coffee, Eleanor picked at a piece of french toast.
"So, do you want to go?" Eleanor suddenly asked.
"What?" said Tom, looking up in surprise. She had been sullenly staring at her plate all morning.
"To that thing I told you about a few days ago, during the eclipse," she says casually.
He frowns down at his empty cup, "I didn't know I was invited."
"Well of course you're invited. I wouldn't very well go to something and not invite my best friend."
"Sure, I guess I'll go."
"You guess? You don't seem very excited Tom."
"Should I be Ella?"
"Well, it's a chance to make some new friends and..."
"New friends? You mean those annoying bookworm Ravenclaw boys who suck up to you because they think you're pretty? No thanks," he sneers.
Eleanor grabs her book-bag and stands up, "Well, at least I talk to other people."
Tom had, a bit grudgingly, allowed Eleanor to drag him through the secret passages to the Astronomy Tower the next Friday night, even though he thought the whole idea of having a party there was ridiculous. He had stayed for the whole thing and managed to be somewhat tolerable to everyone that spoke with him. Most of the time, he had just politely stood by Eleanor while she talked to people he didn't know.
About an hour after the actual eclipse, everyone started to trickle out. Eleanor was one of the last ones left; she had been talking to a 5th year Slytherin who had brought some firewhiskey.
"Eleanor, let's go," Tom ordered, grabbing her arm.
"I'm not tired yet," she said, without even looking over at him.
"You know you can't afford to get into trouble..." Tom begins, trying to pull her along.
The boy looks over at him and smirks, "It's fine. I'll take her down to the common room. I promise she won't get into any trouble."
Tom glares at the boy before leaving.
They sit in silence at breakfast again. Tom finally asks, "What happened with that boy you were with last night?"
Eleanor responds tersely, "He has a name you know. Evan Rosier."
"And what happened with Rosier?"
"Nothing for you to worry about Tom," she answers, her tone condescending.
"Which never actually means nothing," he retorts wryly.
"He walked me to the common room."
"I don't understand why you wanted to stay to talk to him. Seems like a git."
"Well once you left I wasn't exactly able to walk by myself. Had a bit too much firewhiskey."
Tom shakes his head, "You really should be more careful..."
"Look, here I am, safe and sound! Obviously there's nothing to worry about," Eleanor finishes off her tea, "I've got to go."
"Where are you going? It's Saturday. We don't have any classes today."
"I know that Tom. I'm going to go watch Slytherin quidditch practice."
"Why?"
"Evan's on the team. He invited me."
She had been seeing "that blasted git", as Tom called Evan, for a few weeks now. They weren't officially dating, but Tom had heard rumors about them holding hands and kissing and Eleanor had been suspiciously absent on Friday nights and Saturdays.
"What's going on between you and that blasted git?" Tom finally asked upfront one Friday night at dinner. She'd been making excuses about why she had to leave in a few minutes, but he'd seen her looking at Rosier.
"Do you mean Evan again?"
"Yes."
"We're friends."
"Eleanor, tell me the truth."
"I guess we have a little thing. I mean, we've gone on a few dates, but its nothing serious right now."
"How did this start?"
"He kissed me that night that we watched the eclipse and then he wanted to see me again, so..." she trails off to take a sip of her pumpkin juice.
"Do you even like him? Because I really doubt it from the way you're speaking."
"Of course I do. He's tall, handsome, strong, and smart. What's there not to like?"
Tom shrugs, "Maybe it's the fact that you get bored of everybody in about two seconds."
"It's hard to get bored of Evan. He's exciting; he never seems to run out of ideas."
"A quidditch player with a brain? It's a miracle."
"Don't be mean Tom. And, may I note, he's the captain," she says, smirking at him before she walks away. Of course. Of course she likes another muscular and athletic boy Tom would never be able to compete with, what with his lanky figure and lack of ability at sports. And of course she thinks she can go and run off doing whatever she wants even though they were in the middle of a conversation.
She appears at breakfast the next morning looking tired. Tom is already there, calmly eating his food, when she stumbles over to the table. She holds her head in her hands, looking down at the table. Tom rolls his eyes, grabs her plate, and serves her her usual breakfast.
"Thank you," she mumbles as he places the food in front of her.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I've got a terrible headache."
"Well it's probably because you had too much firewhiskey again last night."
She shakes her head, "We didn't drink."
"Then what's wrong with you?"
"I told you, my head hurts. It feels like someone is trying to pound a nail into my skull. I only stayed up until 11 last night talking with Evan and then I had to go to bed because my head hurt so badly. But it hasn't gone away."
"Eat. Maybe that will help."
She finally took the first bite of the food he had put in front of her. After they'd both cleared their plates (Tom had insisted she eat everything he had put on her plate), she asked, "So Tom, what are you doing today?"
"Going to the library, as usual."
"Great, I'll tag along for a bit."
"Don't you have to go watch that blasted git practice?"
"They moved that back an hour today, so I've got some time. Want to come? I asked Evan last night and he said he wouldn't mind."
"Why would I want to watch you fawn over some boy?"
"Tom, don't be rude."
"Fine," he says, careful not to agree to actually go interact with the blasted git.
Eleanor had managed to drag Tom along with her in the end, but only because he'd kept her in the library for an extra hour, thereby cutting into half her time with Evan. She hadn't been mad at him because he'd managed to give her a shoulder massage which had made her headache disappear. While she was staring avidly at Evan for the whole hour, Tom was secretly watching her out of the corner of his eyes.
After practice, she waited outside of the pitch for Evan to change. He walked up to her smirking. As soon as he was close enough, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her forward, kissing her. Tom stood by awkwardly, his face contorting with disgust.
When he pulled away, he was grinning as he said, "I see you're feeling better darling."
Eleanor smirks, "Yes. Let's go exploring! There's a book in the restricted section..."
Evan laughs and looks over at Tom, "Isn't she silly? You are so very silly darling. You ought to be more practical."
"Practicality is for those without an imagination, and they will sooner die from boredom than I will from my silliness."
Eleanor's statement made Evan smile once again and put an arm around her waist, drawing her closer. The site sickened Tom. The site of that git holding his Eleanor, calling her darling. Hoping to draw her away, Tom said, "El;a, we have a mountain of transfiguration work due on Monday."
Evan turned to Eleanor and said, "Ella? Why didn't you ever tell me you had a nickname darling?"
She scrunched up her nose, "I don't like it. It makes me sound like a child."
"Too bad Ella. I quite like the sound of it. Ella, Ella, Ella," Evan chimed before kissing her cheek.
"Stop it Evan. You're acting like my boyfriend," Eleanor looked up, smiling at Tom, "and I think it's making Tom a bit queasy."
"Well Ella, I did tell you I wanted to be your boyfriend. Maybe if I act like I am it'll convince you to say yes," Evan turns to Tom again, "She is so very stubborn, isn't she?"
Tom just nodded. When he thought that Evan had looked away again, Tom rolled his eyes. Eleanor caught him, smirking as she made eye contact and raised an eyebrow.
She said, "You know, Tom's right, we do have a lot of work. I'll see you after dinner, okay?"
"Of course. If you need help, you know where to find me. I'll meet you for breakfast tomorrow morning so we can walk to Hogsmeade together."
She nodded and kissed him on the cheek once before walking away. Tom rolled his eyes once again.
Evan had arrived at breakfast before Eleanor the next morning. Of course Tom was that unlucky. He shouldn't have even come to breakfast at all; it wasn't like he had any reason to get up early or go to Hogsmeade. Evan sat across the table from Tom. They ate quietly for a few minutes before Evan put down his fork and coughed loudly. Tom looked up at the bizarre noise. Once he looked up, he was doomed.
"Do you have a problem with me?" asked Evan.
"I barely know you," Tom snipped.
"Well do you have a problem with me dating Eleanor?" Evan pushed.
"Why would I care?"
"Maybe because you have a crush on her that's so obvious you may as well be sending out howlers about it," he retorted with a true Slytherin smirk.
"I think being in love with her may just be making you a little delusional."
Evan smiled, "Nice to know you don't have a problem with Eleanor and I dating. Now I can finally convince her to be my girlfriend. I really think that was the only thing holding her back from saying yes."
Tom cursed him in his head. That git had tricked him into acting like he didn't care if Eleanor dated him, because that git probably knew that Tom would never, ever tell Eleanor she could date him. What could he do now? Go tell Eleanor that he really did mind? Tom knew that would only confirm Evan's teasing.
There was a quidditch game the next week, Hufflepuff v. Slytherin. It was the perfect way for Tom to show Evan that he wasn't just going to stand by and let his Eleanor get distracted by some stupid boy who was much too dangerous.
Tom and Eleanor were sitting together in the Slytherin stands. Halfway through the game, Tom uses a wandless spell to control one of the bludgers, changing its direction. When the bludger hits Evan, he swings off his broom, winded. One hand grips the handle precariously. Within seconds, Evan is hurtling through the open air. Everyone is gasping. Eleanor had stood and was clasping her hands tightly in front of her mouth, nervously watching Evan. Tom resisted chuckling to avoid giving himself away, instead settling for a small smirk.
As Evan is halfway to the ground, Dumbledore casts an incantation to slow his fall. Tom is mildly disappointed, but the satisfying crunch of Evan's body hitting the ground resounding through the stadium cheers him up.
Evan was in the Hospital Wing for two days. Eleanor went to visit him whenever she had time. The morning he was released, Evan walked up to the Slytherin table and took a seat right next to her as he started piling breakfast food on his plate, the usual confident smirk on his face. He was completely unfazed by the accident – his pretty little face bore not even one scar. Eleanor seemed more interested in Evan than ever before, practically falling all over him right there at the table. Tom hadn't expected this.
Eleanor finally stopped fawning over Evan and his stories long enough to excuse herself. She smiled over at Tom for a second, promising him that she would talk to him in class, before rushing over to library to finish some essay for History of Magic.
Awkward silence washed over their zone of the table as Tom and Evan both glared at each other. Evan broke the staring contest only to look around and make sure no one else was in hearing range. He hisses, "I know I can't prove anything, but I suspect you had something to do with my little accident."
Tom smirks, "How could that possibly be? It isn't like I hit that bludger towards you."
Evan's glare turns to ice, "I was watching that bludger and there's no way my own beater aimed that thing at me."
"And what do you think I did exactly? Fly up and hit it towards you?" Tom retorts smartly.
"Some spell -" Evan starts.
Tom cuts him off, tone authoritative, "Don't you think Eleanor would have heard me if I had cast a spell during the quidditch game? Sounds like you're trying to blame the weaknesses of your team on me. Now, it wouldn't sound too good to Eleanor if I told her that was what you were doing, would it?"
Evan was probably trying to kill Tom with his eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still five years old. I assumed you could handle things without running to Eleanor. So, you're going to tell on me if I say anything about the fact that you quite blatantly hate me? Go ahead, let's see which one of us Eleanor picks."
Tom is so overcome by the urge to laugh that he barely manages to swallow the pumpkin juice he's drinking. As soon as his airways are clear, his barking laugh comes out, sharp and condescending. He actually smiles at Evan as he asks, "You think she's going to pick you? How long has she known you, two months?"
A pained look appears on Evan's face as he tries to defend himself, "I'm her boyfriend. You're only her friend."
"Her best friend. Since we were four years old. You better watch it. I say one word to her and you're gone."
"And then I tell her that you have a crush on her, and neither of us will end up on very good terms with her, will we?" Evan retorted, smirk in tact once again.
Was this stupid boy threatening Tom? Really? Obviously Evan had no clue what he was getting himself into.
Tom didn't tell Eleanor, mainly because he knew that the threat of Evan telling her was a serious one. He had other ways to end the relationship before Eleanor became serious about this boy.
Tom made sure to point out every time Evan was talking to another girl, fueling Eleanor's jealousy. He made sure to always ask Eleanor about something or another relating to class whenever Evan was around, so that she would have to focus on Tom instead. He pointed out even the slightest flaws that Evan made, whether it was canceling a date for quidditch practice or forgetting to do an assignment. In sum, Tom was unrelentingly advocated for their break up.
It worked for a while, and Eleanor now had obvious doubts about the relationship, but Tom knew that wasn't enough. He had to prove to her that Evan really was all the things he said he was – violent, uncontrolled, untrustworthy.
Tom took the easiest action first. Eleanor realized that people didn't like Tom, and she usually just accepted this even among her friends. But what was unacceptable to her was anyone saying anything about Tom – as soon as someone complained that he was bad for her, or just plain mean, or accused him of doing something, Eleanor would argue with them. Eleanor and Tom had practically grown up together; if someone didn't understand him, they clearly didn't understand her.
It was through this train of logic that Tom ended up spending a Thursday night in the owlery, holding one of Eleanor's old potions essays in his left hand and a quill in the other.
Evan,
You know what's funny about a broom? It's not human, and it can't be your girlfriend. So stop spending all your time on quidditch practice and start spending some time with real people.
Love, your actual girlfriend.
Tom smirked. This was definitely Eleanor's sarcasm at work. He walked over to her owl. It obediently descended onto the ledge in front of him, used to its surrogate owner from years of being fed by him. Eleanor wasn't exactly good at taking care of other living things. Tom attached the note to the owl's leg, watching as it flew off toward the quidditch pitch where Evan was holding practice. Eleanor had stomped up to Tom earlier that night, all moody about how Evan had canceled plans with her for practice. Tom had been waiting to capitalize on a moment like this. He walked back down to the common room and calmly stretched out on one of the empty sofas in the corner, his potions book in his hands.
The quidditch oafs were back faster then he expected, all flooding the common room at once. Tom rolled his eyes at the noise before continuing to read. That is, until he saw that blasted git walking toward him, the rest of the quidditch team standing near the fire and looking on.
"What the hell is this?" Evan yelled out as soon as he was five feet away, throwing a scrap of paper at him. Tom reached up and caught it without moving from his reclining position.
Tom unfurled the paper and looked at it quizzically, "A note from Eleanor?"
"Eleanor didn't write that," Evan said, tone cold.
Tom stared at the paper once again, pretending to be confused, "Why would you think that? It is her handwriting, and it sounds like something she would say if she was angry."
"Eleanor did not write that note," Evan insisted.
Tom chuckled as if he was being silly, "Then who did?"
"You," Evan said with a glare.
"This is ridiculous," Tom hissed, looking back down at his book as if dismissing the blasted git.
"Eleanor told me she didn't write me any note. And who else would write it but the bastard who wants to ruin our relationship?" Evan questioned, leaning forward.
"Get away from me," Tom threatened, his eyes narrowing.
"I'm going to tell Eleanor."
Tom's barking laugh filled the room, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still five years old. By the way, good luck proving it to her when I have the note, and, oh, oops."
Tom smirked as he cast a spell to light the piece of paper on fire, dropping the ashes onto the carpeting. Evan's glare was directed straight at Tom now, his anger evident.
"You bastard. Do you think some little note is going to break us up? You lying to her about who I'm flirting with or what I'm up to is going to break us up? You don't even realize how unimportant you are, do you? Seriously, you think you're her best friend," it was Evan's laugh that now filled the room, "but she hates you. Hates you for everything you did to her. Don't panic, she didn't tell me what exactly you did. But I can see the look in her eyes when you touch her and she hates it. Hates you. You're just a controlling bastard who thinks he can tell her what to do. Dream on. That's not going to last forever. She's going to be in love with me soon, and then you'll never speak to her again. Never, do you understand?"
Tom smirks and stands as if he's ready to leave, further teasing Evan by saying, "Really now? She's going to be in love with you? What potion have you been taking to delude yourself so much?"
"You fucking wanker!" Evan stepped forward, his curled fist hitting Tom's stomach. Tom gasped for breath. He hadn't anticipated just how strong the quidditch captain would be. Should have factored that in before he decided that a fist fight was the way to go. Evan continued to glare down at him, "You touch my girlfriend again and I swear I will break your arm."
Tom actually laughed out loud. Admittedly, that first punch had hurt, but he knew he had to keep going otherwise this wouldn't work. And it had to work, after what Evan had said.
Evan hit him again, his fist landing on Tom's nose this time. Tom tried to hit back, but he'd had no experience with fist fights and wasn't nearly as strong as Evan was. Only a few minutes had passed before Tom was on the ground, Evan smashing his foot down on his chest and glaring at him as Tom tried to gasp for air.
"She's never going to love you," Tom managed to sputter out, feeling himself close to unconsciousness. He could really use his damn rescue right about now. Where was that fourth year girl who had just walked in a few seconds ago? Tom had been sure that she was going to go get Eleanor as soon as he'd seen the girl run up the stairs.
Evan pounced down on him once again, his fists colliding against every point of Tom's upper body. How dare this brat tell him that he wasn't going to get what he wanted. Eleanor was going to be his, and Evan would show this stupid bastard that he shouldn't interfere with their relationship anymore.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Eleanor said, voice calm as she stood at the foot of the girls staircase, "Evan, whoever you're..."
Before Eleanor could finish her sentence, Evan jumped up, words tumbling from his lips, "Elle...he said something to me. He made me angry. You have to listen to my side of the story first."
Eleanor ran over as soon as she had looked down at the boy that had been Evan's victim of choice. How could he do this to Tom? Her voice was shaky as she leaned down next to Tom on the ground, "Bloody hell. I mean seriously. Let's get you cleaned up."
She grimaced as she helped Tom get off the ground, letting him drape an arm over her shoulders for support and slowly leading him towards the boys staircase.
"Elle," Evan whispered from behind her.
Eleanor didn't even turn around as she said, "Don't ever call me that again."
"Elle, he..." Evan started trying to explain, despite the fact that she was nearly at the staircase.
She shook her head, "I don't care what he did."
It took an hour for Eleanor to get all the blood cleaned off of Tom and banish him to a hot shower before disinfecting his wounds and getting him in his pajamas. She laid down next to him, her fingers tracing over the bruises along his collarbone.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes downcast.
"You didn't do this to me Elle."
"Indirectly, I did. I knew he didn't like you."
"Elle, this is not your fault." She tried to argue, but Tom just smiled at her, "Now, can we not talk about this tonight? We're both too tired to argue about your boyfriend."
"Whatever you want Tom," she responded, mimicking his smile. It was so rare for him to smile, and so out of place for him to smile right now, that she couldn't help but find it contagious. She found herself wishing her best friend could be truly happy – it was the only thing she had ever really wanted that badly.
"Sleep here?"
"Sure," Eleanor said, half absentmindedly. For the first time in two months, she let him wrap his arms around her. Tom's smile grew. He had won. He had her back.
Eleanor didn't speak to Evan for nearly two weeks. He kept trying to come up to her to apologize and explain himself and promise he would never do it again, but she just ignored him. Finally, one of the boys on the quidditch team managed to convince Eleanor that Evan was telling the truth, and Tom really had said something awful, and that Evan was going to change. Evan promised that if Eleanor took him back, he would cancel half the quidditch practices to spend more time with her, have civil conversations with Tom, and basically be the best boyfriend ever.
Tom didn't know exactly what made Eleanor give in. One day, everything was perfect again, and the next Eleanor was having lunch with Evan again, and they were kissing each other right there in the Great Hall in front of everyone. It made Tom want to puke, even more than their previous displays of affection had.
It was time for part two of his plan to get underway. Sadly, he had to wait nearly a week for the love potion to mature. When it was ready, he placed the potion inside of Evan's quidditch water bottle. There was only one girl on the team, and that girl was none other than Lucretia Black, substitute seeker. It was perfection.
Eleanor was sitting at dinner that day, picking at her food when she suddenly looked around, "That's odd, all the other players are back but Evan isn't here yet. I'm just going to go check on him, he's probably nearly broken his ankle again and he's terrible with healing spells."
Eleanor was met with quite a surprise when she opened the door of the boys changing room to find Evan lying on top of Lucretia on one of the benches, both barely clothed. The cup of cocoa she was holding immediately crashed to the ground. Both looked up at that, Lucretia smirking and Evan looking dazed. Before either could say anything, Eleanor ran off, back to the castle, back to Tom, back to the one person she could actually trust. She didn't say anything as she tugged Tom away from the table, out of the Great Hall, down to the dungeons, and up to his room.
As soon as the door was locked behind them, she burst into tears. Tom stepped forward and held her, waiting for her to calm down before saying anything. When she was finally wiping the last tears from her eyes, he asked her, "What happened?"
"Evan and Lucretia and...why am I never good enough for anybody?" Tears pricked at her eyes again.
"Elle, it's not your fault," Tom tried to comfort her to no avail.
"How can it not be? No one ever stays with me. Not my parents, and not..."
Tom interrupted her, "Except me Elle. Look Elle, I'm right here. I'm all you're ever going to need."
"You're going to leave me too, once you find a girl pretty and smart enough to fancy! You're going to marry her and leave me all alone, a spinster like always."
He tilted her face up, looking earnestly into her reddened eyes, "Eleanor, I will never leave you. I will never let any harm come to you. I will always be here for you, for as long as you and I both live. Forever."
It was that night that Tom Riddle decided that he had to be immortal – he couldn't break his promise to Eleanor, he couldn't leave her just because of some duel or accident or any other number of things that could take a mortal life. He had to be invincible. And most of all, he had to live forever. Forever with her.
The road leading to a goal does not separate you from the destination; it is essentially a part of it. - Charles DeLint
A/N: I know, it's been a long time. I promise I haven't abandoned this story. I was just having a really hard time with this chapter, and then school took over my life. For all those going to college soon: the quarter system like a constant sprint from reading to lectures to papers to tests. I am happy to finally have it done as a present to my readers.
Next chapter will be up around the new year (January 1). It will be a summary of fifth year and the start of sixth year. Review responses will be posted next chapter as well, I decided I will do them every few chapters as a thank you to all those who take time to read my notes and review.
Please review if you have any questions/comments/kind words. I try to consider review commentary while writing every chapter, so I promise you're review will be important to me. Anonymous reviews accepted too!
Consider a review your present to me. Happy holidays :)