Lesson 7: Platform 9 3/4
The evening is quiet. The temperature is high. The streets are deserted. Everyone is at home chilling in front of the air conditioner while eating ice cream and watching TV. The nice-looking young man walks toward his destination with his trademark charming smile and gleeful expectation. He has done his homework. He knows she will be there. All by herself. Alone. He plans to make her sell him a cannoli. He knows she won't deny him. It will be fun, easy, and quick. Then he will walk away with the delicious memory. But of course, he will leave her a souvenir. To make sure he will always have a special place in her heart. To make sure she will never ever forget him. Yes, he knows she's always looking at him. Yes, he knows she will never say no to him. Yes, her smile is shy but inviting. Yes, he will help her transform from a girl to a woman. Yes, he's extremely experienced and very good at it. And yes, he knows he will enjoy the process immensely.
He stops at the door of the store and smirks to himself. He smoothes his hair, unbuttons the first 4 buttons of his navy blue shirt to expose his hairy chest and enters the bakery. He then stops dead and gapes in confusion. He's inside a public bathroom, not Tasty Bakery. And there's something both strange and familiar about this place, but he just can't tell what it is. What happened? Why is he here? Where is here? He's sure he was right outside of the Tasty Bakery. He looks around, racks his brains but finds no answer. He turns to walk toward the door and almost gets hit in the face when the door swings open and a woman barges in. They stare at each other for a long second. The woman points her finger at him and screams bloody murder. Several muscled men come running in. They narrow their eyes at him. They are wearing TPD and TFD uniforms, he notices, and he can also smell the heavenly fragrance of pizzas, pasta sauces, and meatball subs. All of a sudden he knows where he is. He's inside Pino's. Pino's ladies' bathroom, to be exact. And he remembers hearing his mother and sister talking about a pervert hairy peeping Tom terrorizing their females customers...
The fairy godfathers who look just like Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones stand side by side in silence watching the angry police officers take young Joe Morelli away to the station, and disappear in a cloud of fairy dust. They have a Quidditch World Cup game to catch.
Moral of the story: Harry Potter is real, children.