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Sherlock watched in wonder as the fervor died down among the people he now called family, all the anger and sorrow and regret just faded out of them with a few looks full of meaning he didn't understand and a muttered word that he couldn't grasp the significance of.
But while he sat chewing on his pizza with Ruby asleep on his lap he looked around at them all, Jackie was leaning her head against Hyde's shoulder and finally smiling again and Hyde looked like his usual Zen self again now that Jackie had convinced him he wasn't responsible for his x existing.
The part that was harder for him to look at, was the four others there, after Kings apology the open affection and relief was like looking into the sun. King had upset people that meant more to her than most people could ever comprehend – but Sherlock understood all too well. They cared when they didn't have to, they loved her not out of obligation but because of who and what she was, and it baffled him.
King had her head-on Kicks shoulder like a little kid and for once Kick didn't seem like a goofy scatter brained whirlwind, but a guardian who had made a choice long before to watch out for his younger cousin, lock had trouble understanding how any of them could really mean the care and affection that his own parents – or Kings – hadn't had for their own kids?
But then he looked down at ruby, his t-shirt was clutched in her chubby hand like a security blanket and she was drooling liberally on another portion. And he almost got it, if anyone tried to hurt his sister he'd rip them apart and not feel a thing, family is weird he thought with a sigh and carefully scooped ruby up to put her to bed. He didn't mind her sleeping on him for extended periods but the kitchen chair wasn't as comfortable as the sofa, and he really wanted to be away from people for a while.
No one said a word when he left to put ruby in her crib for the night, but shortly after he left one of them got up to follow him.
He'd just laid her down and was stepping carefully away without taking his eyes off her – if you turned away she woke up, it was uncanny – when he backed up directly into another person in the door way, Lock stifled a surprised yell and spun around to see who was there?
He looked directly into the smirking face of Kingsley, who gestured with her head for him to follow her, he didn't want to really, but knew better than to refuse. So, he followed her outside and over to the gazebo where King sat down and gave him a look he didn't much care for.
"you got something you wanna say?" he asked gruffly, Lock wasn't in the mood for a lecture
"it gets easier Lock" she told him bluntly
"the hell are you talking about?" he asked confused
"for fucks sake kid, I can see it ok?! I can see the wheels turning in that angry little head of yours, you're stuck in the same old thought I used to have 'how the hell can these people mean they give a damn about me and want me around when the people that brought me into the world think I'm worthless? If my parents didn't love me why would anyone else? Is it all a trick? Some long con joke and at some point, they're going to yell 'surprise! We don't want you either!'?" she told him deadly serious, and had the good grace not to comment on the look of shock his face had that she knew what he was trying so hard to hide – that even though he believed Hyde and Jackie that they loved him and cared about him, there was still a tiny debilitating doubt that would take hold of him that it would all disappear and he'd be on his own again, more broken than before.
He looked up at King with a clear question in his eyes and was answered with a crooked grin.
"yeah man, it will go away in time. One day you're going to wake up and say good morning to them and not hold your breath that they're going to say 'it's time for you to go' instead of 'good morning', so slowly you won't even be aware of it they're going to become the people you can rely on no matter what. My folks were garbage Sherlock, they didn't know how to deal with me and they had no interest in trying, and when your own parents don't give a fuck its damn hard to believe anyone does, but my crazy pants hating cousin showed me that he and Max and Connor didn't just care, they wanted me there with them. There's no expiration date on Jackie and Hyde caring about you lock, you take however long you need to process the reality of it all, cus were all going to be here when you do" she assured him and clapped him on the shoulder.
"thanks King" lock murmured thoughtfully, part of him had already known what she said, but it was nice all the same to hear it out loud.
"so" she began in a more light hearted tone "who's this girl you met?" she asked with a wicked grin
Immediately lock blushed and looked away, why were they all making such a big deal out of this?! He wondered irritably 'because it was' a very smug and annoying little voice in the back of his mind told him. He just couldn't figure out why Harley was in the forefront of his mind the way she was? She wasn't exactly the most gorgeous creature he'd ever laid eyes on, gross as it was to him he understood how Jackie had captured Hyde's entire being the moment they met, his mom was one of the most beautiful women you would ever see up close. But although Harley wasn't unattractive, she wasn't the rare beauty Jackie was (however much he wished his mom wasn't that), and really they hadn't even spoken that much and the amount of conversation they had had wasn't one he wanted to replay in his head.
She hadn't shown any interest in him apart from trying to do the decent thing for him, but there she was running rampant in his head, and it was starting to piss him off to be honest.
"I don't get why you're all bringing this up? I met her she got pissed off at me – with good reason – and walked away, that's the whole story and it didn't even grip my interest and I was there!" he told King irritably
Kings grin widened into the pirate grin that could so infuriate those that knew her, and lock was no different.
"you got something to say?" he asked flatly, he respected King more than he let on but this was a touchy subject for him somehow.
"a lot of people like to talk about love at first sight dude, personally I don't really buy it, but I do think there's something else, sometimes we meet people and for no reason we can figure out we need to know them, I think it's the universes way of kicking us in the ass and making us put ourselves out there for better or for worse. Your mom and dad met when they were kids and too young to ignore the connection because the stakes weren't as high as if they had been older. They met and didn't question that they should be around each other, now when I met Connor I was old enough to be self-conscious and not want to just go with it. Also, to be fair, he was crazy hot and that kind of threw me for how to behave" she said with a different sort of grin.
"thanks for sharing that, now that I'm suitably traumatized please continue" Lock said dryly
"I need to know Connor, whether it's being in love or being pals, I need to know him. Jackie and Hyde also need to be in each other's lives, that's why even when their personalities grated and they damn near hated being around each other they still slogged through until they matured some, they are each other's person and that's life changing to find" she told him seriously
"are you talking about soul mates?" he asked skeptically
"no" she replied flatly "that concept implies that you're not whole until you meet some fated other half, and that's a fucking cop out, that shifts responsibility from ourselves for certain actions because 'part of us is missing' it also puts an excessive amount of pressure on the other person to complete us, I am fucking complete on my own! and it's not anyone else's job to fill in the blanks. What I'm talking about is the person that augments what we already were and makes us a better more secure version of ourselves, romance not need be included. I'm fairly sure that Kick and Eric are each other's person too, their friendship had made them happier, more secure people, they have an unspoken agreement to have the others back whether it makes them look foolish or not" she told him in that tone he'd heard Hyde and Jackie refer to, the one that was hard to ignore.
"so you think I met my 'person'?" he asked uncertainly
"I think it's a possibility that shouldn't be dismissed because you made an ass of yourself, you have two choices lock, you can ignore how you're feeling about her and wonder about her for the rest of your life, or you can choke down the embarrassment and track her down and see what happens?" she told him
"so be a coward or be brave?" he summed up thoughtfully
"however you want to look at it, but I will say that the moment you stop letting fear dictate your actions is the moment you really start to feel like your living. Your curious about this girl? Listen to that feeling and find out what it is that make you curious." She finished with a shrug
"and if she won't have anything to do with me?" he asked pointedly
To his annoyance this comment made King laugh "do you really have so much pride you can't make a sincere apology?" she asked through her laughter
"well not right now!" he snapped ruefully
"Sherlock, suck it up and tell her you're sorry and would like to get to know her, don't make a speech, don't over think what you're going to say to any possible response she has, don't create an elaborate scenario, walk up to her the first opportunity you have and tell her the unadorned truth, believe me when I say – cutting through the bullshit works wonders" King advised him in her odd but accurate way.
"I'll think about it" he promised, and that was enough for King, she gave him another pat on the shoulder and left him to himself to consider what she'd said.
The next morning at school Sherlock stalked through the halls with an expression so intent people melted out of his way, the other students found him scary on a good day and the focus he had just then made him terrifying.
Eventually he found the person he was after and stopped short, waiting for her to notice his presence.
"what the hell do you want?" she asked when she finally acknowledged Locks presence.
"to say I'm sorry for being a dick yesterday, you were being Hella cool letting me know she was going to do that to me, and I shouldn't have taken getting pissed out on you. So again, sorry for being a dick" he told her honestly, without elaboration just like King had advised.
Harley stared at him with narrowed eyes, clearly trying to decide if there was some ulterior motive for his apology, her green eyes locked with his gray ones like she was searching for something that would allow her to believe him. Lock took the opportunity to take in the details of her, she was a lot smaller than him which wasn't that strange since he was about 6'1" already, her hair was a reddish blonde that she wore in a long ponytail with over grown bangs falling across her right eye, her face was pretty in a cute sort of way if you ignored the hard-mistrustful look on her face at all times, but he understood that to be honest.
Lock was taking note of the way she stood, like she was ready to defend herself always when it hit him – he wasn't just drawn to her in a friendly way, there were some definitely non – platonic thoughts concerning her taking form in his mind that were a lot more detailed then the ones he had about other girls. He was just planning his exit before he made everything ten times more awkward, when Harley finally spoke.
"apology accepted, umm….do you wanna like….do something after school?" she asked hesitantly, looking up at his greater height through her long dark lashes.
His heart made a series of disconcerting hiccups from that look, and her question made his mouth go dry, Lock had to swallow several times before he could answer her.
"I'm babysitting after school" he told her regretfully for the first time since he'd taken over ruby's care when Jackie and Hyde needed help.
Harley first looked disbelieving which quickly dissolved into anger that he was lying to her.
"yeah whatever Sherlock, you could just say no" she snapped trying to turn and leave, no one likes being rejected even if it was just a friendly gesture from one lonely kid to another.
"no, I really do!" he said swiftly, catching her gently by the arm to stop her from running off before he could explain.
"yeah sure, I bet there's a ton of people that hire a tatted up punk rocker with a Mohawk to watch their kids! I thought you wanted to try being friends, I was wrong, were done here" she snapped angrily, and tried to pull away from him.
"Harley please chill ok? Here look" he said calmly and pulled out his wallet and flipped it open, as soon as he did the many pictures of ruby unfolded in their plastic sleeve for her to see.
Harley took the photo strip and peered curiously at picture after picture of a plump dark haired baby, some on her own, some with lock holding her, and one with him the baby and two youngish people smiling from where they stood behind Lock and the baby, she knew right away it was a family portrait and looked up at him questioningly.
"are those your folks?" she asked confused
"they are now, they took me in cus they're amazing, and then they had my sister Ruby, she's the best thing that I've ever seen and I don't want strangers watching her so I do it when they have things to do. I'd love to hang out with you sometime after school Harley – I really would – but I said I'd hang out with ruby today so they could run errands, and lame as it makes me sound she's my top priority" he explained truthfully.
Again, Harley stared up at him in such a way that his chest went tight, what the hell was happening to him? He wondered nervously.
"are you allowed to have people over?" she asked him in a much softer voice, she wasn't trying to flirt he could tell, she sounded afraid that she would be unwanted?
"as far as I know yes, do you want to come over and hang out with me and ruby?" he asked with surprise, no one he knew had ever wanted to help babysit before.
Harley shrugged and stared at the hall floor uncomfortably and Lock saw right away that he'd said the wrong thing.
"cus id like it if you did" he added honestly
"I'll meet you out front when school lets out" she said half statement half question
"awesome" lock confirmed the plan with a smile he wasn't sure he'd ever had before?
He was on edge all day waiting to meet up with Harley, and when he made his way to the front doors at the end of the day to head to his house with her, he saw her.
She was sitting on the stone railing of the front steps looking casual apart from her eyes darting around looking for something – which he realized with a jolt was him? She was looking for him and she was excited about it?
His heart started the hiccupping again and his gut began doing a series of distracting swooping sensations and again his mouth went dry? He wondered what the hell was happening to him? And then Harley spotted him and smiled, it all fell together with that smile and the force of revelation made his steps falter momentarily.
"I am so fucked" he breathed to himself and headed directly for Harley,
when he reached her she stood up to leave and Lock took some of Kings advice about not letting fear keep you from living, and without over thinking it and giving himself time to wuss out he reached out and took her hand. Harley blushed and looked at the ground but laced her fingers with his, a flurry of unmanly butterflies erupted in his stomach and lock took a steadying breath before beginning to walk hand in hand with Harley towards his home.