Club Vampyr

Chapter 14

"You lied to me again."

"You've been expecting it," he replied.

"Yes." Kerry replied, far wearier than someone her age had any right sounding. "But that doesn't mean I have to be pleased."

He was silent.

"Tell me something." Kerry began, her acceptance drilling through the air more sharply than if she had responded shrilly. "Was tonight just for show, so you could report that you were making headway with the Nowicki problem?"

"Yes," he told her, and for once she wished he had lied.

"God, Ethan," she burst out. "You just take and take from me until I feel drained emotionally. I'm not just some take-out meal you toss away when you're done. Give me back something, or take me home in your stupid fancy car and don't mess with me again." Tears were gathering in her eyes and she cursed them as she looked up at the stars swimming in a polluted charcoal sky. In the city, only a few twinkled back at her and she was aware that those were the fake, man-made stars twinkling from within Earth's orbit. Even the stars disillusioned her.

Michel remained silent for so long, Kerry felt her heart sink into a quagmire of self-pity and doubt. She knew this was it. They had suddenly been getting along relatively easily, and not only did she find out that the entire date had been a sham, but he also wasn't willing to take one small step towards a possibility of seeing her again. Finally, he opened his mouth and closed it again, staring at her with a sharp intensity in his blue eyes. "Get in the car," he ordered with resignation at long last. Kerry could barely hear his words through the rush of grief pounding through her brain.

She nodded hollowly, somehow making it to the passenger side without really seeing her surroundings. She stared straight ahead through the windshield, knowing that this would be another night where she cried herself to sleep. When Michel sat in the driver's seat beside her, a muffled whimper broke out of her throat. It took a lot of willpower not to hit him, and even more not to dive out of the car and run away from him. Kerry sat perfectly still, knowing that any slight movement on her part would break the fragile balance she was teetering on. He held up a finger, stopping her from saying anything to him even though she was too angry and disenchanted with him at the moment to say a word. Quickly, his fingers skittered under the dashboard, searching out something. He pulled a small round object she could only assume was a bug of the technological sort and pushed his fingernail into a spot on it, then tossed it behind him. She assumed it was now safe for her to talk, or cry, which was probably what he was protecting against. She did neither, and her silence spoke volumes.

Michel turned the key in the ignition smoothly, and Kerry hated that he didn't seem to care at all. As if fate and karma all combined into one decided to show her how wrong she was, Michel backed up quickly, the tires leaving burn marks on the scarred pavement of the parking lot. The Lexus narrowly avoided being rammed by a Jeep Liberty, Michel's quick reflexes stomping on the gas and swerving at the same time. Kerry yelped as bright headlights beamed through the windows on his side, far too close for comfort. By the time Michel suddenly braked, flinging them both forward in the seatbelts, and pulled over to the side of the road, Kerry's emotions were running wild. She could no longer feel the tears welling in her eyes, but her hands were shaking and heart pounding, and breath coming in frantic little gasps.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, shocking her out of her panicked state with the sound of his calm voice.

"Do I look okay?" Kerry screamed at him, one hand still clutching wildly at her heart from where it had flown during the near-accident.

"I can't give you what you want," he told her, arms propped against the top of the steering wheel. He braced his chin on his crossed arms, staring into the dark night of the empty street in front of them. Suddenly, they weren't talking about her relative emotional health to the accident, and it seemed to go far deeper than her request for him to give her back something. Michel laughed, and it was bitter and self-depreciating at the same time. "That sounds horribly cliché," he told the windshield, "but it's true. I don't know what you want from me, Kerry, but you're putting me under pressure to perform up to some standard you have. I understand that after not seeing me, you have this image of me in your head that's idealized. We all do it. You need to realize that it isn't who I am."

"I wasn't asking you to give me everything," she started to explain, growing angrier with both herself and him by the moment. Who did he think he was, assuming what she was thinking? She didn't have many preconceived ideas of him, since he had never allowed her to see any sides of his real self. She wasn't foolish enough to believe that any of the personalities he had showed previously were the real him; just as she wasn't foolish enough to think they weren't.

"I can't give you ANYTHING," he stressed, finally jerking his head towards her. Kerry met his eyes without flinching, not able to discern what emotions – if any – were being exposed.

"Because you don't want to?" Kerry asked, reverting into herself with a small whispered question.

Michel's eyes softened for a second, and then went unemotional and cold like they usually did when he was hiding his true emotions without a congenial mask. "Because I can't." He told her, pulling the shift out of brake and getting back on the road.

It wasn't much of an admission, but it made Kerry feel a small bit better. He might be trying to tell her that a 'them' was impossible, but at least he divulged that it wasn't out of lack of interest. She thought about asking 'can't or won't?' but that would merely bring the conversation full-circle, and she wanted to get off the merry-go-round. "I'm sorry," Kerry replied with a derisive laugh for the long-forgotten habit of apologizing to him for things she should never be sorry for. She felt like apologizing to him for apologizing, but they had had that conversation before, and she couldn't remember it going well then either. Michel drove, seemingly aimlessly, and she wondered if he was taking her home so they could both move away from this evening, or if he had another fun plan for them to becoming closer so he could gain her trust, seduce her into telling him everything, and then kill her. She was lucky that hadn't been his goal a few years ago, because he would have won.

Kerry scanned the view out the window, taking in passing lights and the darkness between them. Every once and a while, her eyes would flicker to Michel's stoic profile through no volition of her own. It was during one of those quick glances that she noticed the red numbered time display change to 3:45. Kerry's eyes focused on the time with a feeling of dreadful disbelief. "What day is it?" She asked, her voice not quite frantic, but still urgent enough that he answered her immediately.

"Monday."

"Eeuuuugh," Kerry groaned, leaning her head back against the headrest with a jar. "I have a class at eight."

"Skip it," Michel suggested with a distained look as if to say 'if only all my problems were so easily solved', full of that affable understanding he was so well-known for.

"I can't," Kerry moaned.

"Sure you can. You just don't go."

"I skipped it last week," she informed him. "And the prof likes to give what he thinks to be random pop quizzes every second Monday."

"Kerry," Michel said, with a slight shake to his head. His grin was one of those ones she liked to think were real, but were probably just as fake as all the others.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing."

"Don't pull that on me again," she said, slightly teasing but also completely seriously. "You were going to say something."

"Just that you have a very normal life."

"Besides the fact that one of my best friends is now a vampire, I was almost murdered last night, and you're back?" She supposed he was right. Before everything this weekend, her life had been rather normal, relatively speaking. She had worked hard to get it where it was too.

Michel was silent again, his car rapidly moving into more familiar territory now. They passed the edges of her school campus, turning onto the street where her apartment was. If he was considering this a fake date, then did that mean he had reason to try to give her a good-night kiss? She almost grinned at the thought, as well as the anticipation of feeling his lips against hers again. As he turned into the drive in front of her building, Kerry's traitorous heart started to pound slightly quicker and her palms became damp with nerves. Damn. And she thought the awkward end-of-first-date was bad with a human man. "Thanks for the ice cream, I'll seeyoulater," she breathed out, words jumbling more rapidly as he stopped the car and surveyed her with a grin. Kerry jerked the door open and practically hit the pavement in a run. She had enough presence of mind to slam the door before scrambling into the building.

She was a class-A fool. She swiped her card through the lock in the entrance, her back held high and face red with embarrassment. Michel's car was still sitting just outside, mocking and taunting her stupidity with its presence. It took her three tries to get the door to recognize her card, but once she was through, she walked with as much dignity as she could towards the elevator. The glare of the lights of the lobby against the sliding glass front door made it impossible for her to tell whether he was still there, and truth be told she had too much pride to even check. Kerry walked into the elevator and pressed the button to her floor. The doors just about closed when Michel slipped in beside her, surveying her casually as if his sudden reappearance was normal.

Kerry gaped at him, mouth opening and closing a few times like a breathing fish. She could have sworn the front door had closed behind her while he was still in the car. If he hadn't discounted next to all the vampire myths already, she would have wondered if he pulled a Count Dracula. "How did you do that?" She questioned in both wonderment and frustration. If vampires could move like that, she really wasn't going to live through the next week.

"Vampire trickery," Michel replied with a straight face, probably knowing exactly what she was thinking through years of dealing with situations like this – years of skeptical humans assuming his powers were greater than they were and faults were even far larger.

"Why?" Kerry asked. "I mean I thought we said goodnight."

"If you call the way you bolted like skittish virginal mare during breeding time a goodnight."

Laughter burbled from Kerry's throat before she could stop it. "Oh my God, Ethan!" she exclaimed with a horrified grin. "That's one of most disgusting analogies I've ever heard." Unfortunately, it was also frighteningly accurate. She had run off on him in that exact manner. Despite the shame she felt at the idea of being so obvious, there was nothing she could really do about it now, and she knew that if she were back in that car she would still do the exact same thing. Bold she was not.

He merely grinned harmlessly at her, and Kerry could feel the humiliated tension on her side of the conversation rising in the now-crowded elevator. Being so close to him made her nervous, and it was just made worse by not only the close proximity but her awareness of her own body doubled by the beating of her heart. She yearned for his touch like a caterpillar does for a pair of wings. It was obvious to her that he would kiss her at some point, especially if they kept playing this game of courtship which could only lead to heartbreak on her side. She wondered if he'd be able to hear it shatter like he could hear every other lull and tempo.

"Seriously, why are you here?"

Michel's silence became the type he portrayed while debating whether to divulge information or not. "I don't want a repeat of last night."

"Of last…" Kerry trailed off. Her first thought had been of him putting her to sleep, but then she realized he meant the attack on her life. "Do you think…?" Kerry trailed off again, leaving the rest of the question for him to infer.

"No," he replied without hesitation. "But do you really want to chance me being wrong?"

No, she didn't. She shook her head and joined him in staring at the blinking lights on top of the door signifying their assent. The silence was heavy like the weight of the higher altitude settling on their bodies. The elevator doors slid open with a loud grinding of gears and metal against metal, and Kerry knew from one too many nights of sleeplessness that it was audible inside of the apartments. Michel swept his hand towards the open door, allowing her to exit first. She was tempted to refuse, but it was a small point and she really didn't have a reason to pick a fight with him just because everything tonight had not gone exactly like she could have hoped. The Michel who moved out of the elevator behind her was different than the one who went into it.

"I had an interesting evening tonight, Kerry." Michel said with his charming, shy young man grin that he did so well. "Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night, too?"

She almost expected the words 'gee, shucks' to come out of his mouth, he was playing the part so well. Despite her cynicism and the fact she knew what he was doing, Kerry couldn't help but grin back at him. Michel did real-boy innocence so well, she never would have known he was a vampire if he hadn't been honest with her. The play-acting Kerry who was about to agree to another date wouldn't have, at least. "Sure," she said with enthusiasm, like an eager young lady who was quickly falling in love. She was that girl, once.

"Kerry, I…" Michel moved closer, invading her person space easily. Kerry stared up into his blue eyes and knew he never really thought there was a waiting assailant in her apartment. He just wanted to finish the task set before him to earn her trust, and there was no better way to report headway than to ensure he had a good-night kiss. He was using her for a pawn, and she felt the flash of anger shoot through her at the thought, quickly followed by the rational part of her brain reminding her that she could use this. If he was supposed to court her, she didn't have to make it easy for him. If his assignment was to kiss her until she was breathless, then she may as well enjoy it.

"Actually," Kerry hedged, demurely lowering her eyes to the ground, "I don't know if I can. I have to… write an essay tomorrow night." She paused just long enough so he knew, and anyone else listening knew, that she wasn't telling the truth.

"Do you really?" Michel asked, moving even closer to her. She could feel his cold strength against her front, and she wanted the sensation of his body on top of her again. She needed him so much, emotionally more than physically, and she was exhausted of playing games with him. Why couldn't Michel and Kerry just be together with no pretenses, ulterior motives, or continuing issues standing in the way? That would never happen. The real world wasn't some romance novel with a happy ending.

"No," she answered his question honestly, dropping the game.

"Good," Michel said, his fingers playing along the edge of her jaw as he subtly guided her chin up so her mouth was tilted towards him. Kerry reached up on tip-toes, her eyes fluttered closed as Michel's lips lowered towards her own.

"Kerry!" Nathaniel's voice cried as he scrambled out his door holding a fire-extinguisher like a lethal weapon.

"Gah!" Kerry shouted, dropping to flat-foot in shock. Michel dropped his hand from her face, turning towards her crazy neighbor in a movement which both protected her and prepared himself for an attack.

"Get away from her, you horny lying bastard!" Nathaniel warned, his lank brown hair hanging around his face in the weirdest looking hairdo Kerry had ever seen on him. It looked like Nelle's normal hair when she didn't temporarily tint it goth, and the fact that Nathaniel was trying for that look was creepy as well as vaguely sweet.

Kerry edged away from the two men standing in the hallway in a testosterone face-off. She took stock of the situation. Michel had almost kissed her – plus. Nathaniel interrupted – negative. Nathaniel called Michel a horny lying bastard – plus. The two of them were almost creating a comedy farce again – definite plus. According to utilitarianism, her night had ended better than she thought it would have. With an amused smile, Kerry let herself into her apartment and locked it behind her. Let them solve their own problems, she thought sadistically, so long as they didn't disturb her.

Kerry slept deeply for those four hours, despite the fact she was alone.

©RelenaFanel.March08.2007

Woohooo. Update. I seriously was not aware that it had been this long. Review, please. And make sure to tell me what you thought of this chapter, including their conversation and the kiss. Especially the kiss. How pissed are you that I had Nathaniel pop in right at the crucial moment? How many of you think I'm evil? Do any of you think that when they do kiss, it'll be so much hotter?

And if any of you are interested/were not aware, I recently posted a Heir Apparent short story for V-Day and Lure ch18.