""
He'll wrap you in his arms,
tell you that you've been a good boy
He'll rekindle all the dreams
it took you a lifetime to destroy
He'll reach deep into the hole,
heal your shrinking soul,
but there won't be a single thing
that you can do
He's a god, he's a man,
he's a ghost, he's a guru
They're whispering his name
through this disappearing land
But hidden in his coat
is a red right hand
- Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, "Red Right Hand"
""
Severus waited patiently by the gates, eyeing what he could see of the mansion with interest, and, if he was being quite honest with himself, with something like envy too. It was enormous and reeked of the sort of ancient magic and heritage that he'd always dreamed of, and which was as far from Spinner's End as possibly could be. The yard was very well maintained and the sound of a fountain rippling carried through the hedges surrounding the gates. He checked his watch; it was five minutes to.
Right then the gates opened. Severus craned his neck but couldn't see anybody approaching the gates from the yard. Hesitating an instant, he finally stepped through, eyeing around himself, and put his hand in his pocket where the reassuring feeling of his wand awaited his fingers, although he wasn't truly expecting to be attacked by anyone hiding in the bushes. He simply felt uncomfortable at stepping into the unknown, which he assumed was the very purpose of the eerie welcome.
There were tidily clipped hedges in the forms of peacocks and pyramids across the yard. As he entered deeper, he saw a horde of tied up peacocks by a fountain as he quietly glided over to the house; they cooed stupidly at him as he passed, and he shuddered at the ostentatiousness. If I lived in a house like this, he thought, there would be none of these silly chickens and hedge sculptures. It's really not very dignified.
As he approached the mansion's front doors, he expected the doors to open up on their own, and wasn't disappointed. But to his mild surprise, a tall, blonde man stood waiting for him at the bottom of a grand staircase, a welcoming if brief smile on his face.
"Ah, Severus", Lucius Malfoy said, as though Severus's appearance was a complete surprise to him. And for all Severus knew, it could be; he himself had only been notified of his arrival last night. "What a pleasure to see you again. You had no trouble finding here, I hope?"
"Not at all, Lucius. It was the only mansion in the vicinity", Severus said and smiled crookedly. Lucius hummed in amusement and gestured at Severus to follow. He did, eyeing the portraits on both sides of the hall in interest. They eyed him right back, most of them looking rather haughty. A woman wearing an extravagant wimple bent her corseted body to whisper something to a moustached man in the portrait next to her as he passed. Severus wanted to ask Lucius what was going to happen now, but kept his tongue. He assumed that his arrival was purposefully arranged so vaguely, possibly to test his patience, or to make him the clear underdog. Well, under the circumstances, he would gladly allow it. Excitement flamed up inside of him, burning through the earlier nervousness.
"You simply must come back for tea when you're done", Lucius said to him as he led him to a drawing room, where a fire was warmly crackling in the granite fireplace, and more portraits glared from their frames. "To catch up on old times."
"Come back?" Severus repeated, but the answer dawned to him immediately, as Lucius took a glass jar off the mantelpiece and threw green powder into the flames.
"You're going to the Lestrange mansion", Lucius said as he gestured at Severus to climb into the green flames. "We can never be too careful, you see. So – until later, then. Please do send my respects."
"Lestrange mansion", Severus repeated and felt the green flames swallow him into a roaring buzz of flashing sitting rooms and kitchens, until he found himself firmly standing in the fireplace of a dark parlor. The curtains were drawn over the windows, and candles were lit along the walls, which were mostly covered in silver-embroided green velvet curtains. The room was grand and filled with valuable decorations, but it looked bleak, the enormous dark baroque furniture and paintings on the walls making it seem stuffier than it was. Hurried steps echoed on the stone floor.
"Severus Snape?" A woman's voice snapped. "You're nearly late. You must hurry."
A dark-haired woman with hooded eyes approached the fireplace. She was wearing expensive-looking velvet robes, and a ruby necklace. She looked arrogant, and examined Severus with a critical eye. Whatever she saw clearly didn't please her; she made a disapproving noise in her throat and turned to leave the room, expecting Severus to follow her. He quickly climbed off the fireplace, shook the soot off his robes and hurried after her. His palms felt clammy and his heart was beating fast, like the wings of a hummingbird against his ribs; the new surroundings disoriented him somewhat, and he had to collect himself to keep it together.
The woman led him along a hallway until they arrived to heavy, engraved twin doors made out of oak, on which she knocked quickly.
"Come inside", a cool, high voice said through the oak. Severus shivered in excitement and fear. The woman opened the doors, and stepped in, her head so high one might've imagined her stepping on a stage to be crowned a beauty queen.
"He's arrived, My Lord", the woman breathed and bowed exuberantly low.
"Very good, Bellatrix. Send him in", the high voice said. Bellatrix turned to look at Severus and nodded her head sharply to call him in, the dreamy look on her face quickly replaced by a sneer. Severus stepped through the oak doors hesitantly, eyeing the room. The room he'd arrived to appeared to be a dining room; his gaze immediately landed on the man sitting at the end of the long table which dominated the room. Severus shivered again; the man looked monstrous and disfigured, his eyes red slits, and the smile which he wore was nothing if not unnerving to say the least. Severus came to stand next to Bellatrix and mimicked her by bowing deeply, his heart quickly beating in his chest. He hadn't come to think what the Dark Lord looked like, but whatever he'd expected, this wasn't it. Finally Severus straightened his back but kept his eyes on the floor, afraid to commit some sort of a faux-pas by leering at the man. He wasn't certain if he was allowed to look at him.
"You may leave us, Bellatrix", the Dark Lord said. Bellatrix bowed again – Severus made a note of it – and left the room, closing the oak doors behind her. Severus continued to stare at the carpet, vary and uncomfortable at being left alone with the notoriously cruel and ruthless warlord. The silence seemed to stretch forever, and he had to fight the urge to grab a hold of his wand, as paranoid thoughts of a raised wand and green light permeated his over-excited mind.
"Severus... Snape", the Dark Lord savoured his name in his mouth. "I've heard so much of you. From my loyal comrades... Lucius... and Mulciber tells me his son speaks most highly of you, especially after that, ah, amusing little incident. Now, now. Don't be shy. We're among friends here."
Severus glanced at the Dark Lord, and was startled to find he'd gotten up and soundlessly glided over to him, standing now much closer than Severus would have wished. Severus licked his dried lips. "Lucius... Lucius sends you his respects, my Lord."
The Dark Lord nodded and his red gaze didn't leave Severus's face. Abruptly, he reached one pale hand and touched Severus's face, taking a hold of his jaw – his fingers were cold, as though he was a moving, talking dead body. There was a sudden, cold pain in Severus's head; like he'd have eaten a cube of ice and gotten a brainfreeze, and he knew the Dark Lord was in his head, violently moving through his memories like they were scraps of garbage he had to sort through. Severus didn't try to resist, surrendering himself to his examination.
Images flashed in his mind; Morland on his bed, screaming from Potter's Crucio; his own contempt for both Potter and Morland – which seemed to amuse the Dark Lord, as he smiled – and then Severus's father, the sleeve of his old ratty denim jacket, his fist punching the wall next to Severus's head, "man up, boy!", and his heart beating in his chest like a wild animal in its cage as he prepared himself for a punch that wouldn't hit the wall; Potter holding Severus up in the air by the lake, a prisoner of his own spell "who wants to see me take off Snivellus' pants?", while people gathered around to laugh; a flash of green light, and a wet sewer rat now dead in a blue bucket on his yard; Dumbledore rewarding Potter House points for covering up his best friend's murder attempt "quick thinking, James, you have proven yourself to be a true Gryffindor", and the unfairness of it, the rage towards the old bigot of a man – the Dark Lord smiled again, his red eyes burning through every memory he witnessed.
The memories changed, and the rage Severus had just violently relived died down and turned to sadness and pain: Lily's loathing, sixteen-year old face as she turned away from him by the Gryffindor portrait hole; Lily in Hogsmeade with Grover Vass, letting him sneak his hand under her top in the corner of the cafe where they'd thought no one was looking; her lips on Severus's lips, then on James Potter's lips, her hands in his dishevelled hair. The Dark Lord seemed to pass by his memories of Lily almost impatiently, moving on quickly, like they were inconsequential fluff obstructing his view of whatever it was that he was searching for. Severus's mother was now sitting by the side of the bed, telling him she'd thought of killing herself sometimes, just to get away from it all "I'm sorry I couldn't be a better mother for you - but I do love you -"; then she was screaming downstairs as his father threatened to take a knife and plunge it into her "- you bitch!", and Severus stood at the top of the staircase wearing his blue pajamas and holding a fluffy animal, crying. The Dark Lord smiled again, his cold fingers disappeared from Severus's skin, and a wonderful, relieving emptiness filled Severus's head as he pulled away from his head.
"Yes... you show promise. A burning desire for glory, for better things. Ah... Yes... there will be better things...", The Dark Lord said contemplatively and turned to go back to the table, seating himself at the end of it. He gestured Severus to take a seat a few chairs away from him. Severus slowly walked over to where he was gesturing, and sat down stiffly, feeling weak. His head was still aching and he was sweating and trembling profusely, like he'd just gone through a major trauma. His cheek was cold where the Dark Lord's fingers had been.
"What is your heritage?" The Dark Lord suddenly asked him, eyeing Severus almost hungily. Severus stiffened even further; this was the question he'd been most afraid of - a question to which the Dark Lord almost certainly knew the answer to already, having just had access to his private memories. Was he testing him when he asked? If so, what was the correct answer? Severus shifted uncomfortably, tried to find the right words – he couldn't lie, but if he told the truth, he might be told to leave, or worse, be killed on the spot...
"The truth, Severuss..." the Dark Lord said, and Severus's name sounded like the unpleasant hiss of a snake in his mouth.
"Halfblood", Severus managed to say and felt flush creep up his cheeks at his confession, pressing his gaze to the dark varnished surface of the table. He felt shame, unlike ever before. "I'm sorry, my Lord. My mother was a Pureblood witch, of the Prince family. My father was..."
But he couldn't bring himself to say the word 'Muggle' under the Dark Lord's gleaming eyes.
"Halfblood... Witch mother... Muggle father. Yes, I have seen." the Dark Lord said softly and confirmed Severus's qualms. Severus closed his eyes and waited for his reaction, sweating.
"Now, Severus. Why are you so embarrassed? As I said, we are here amongst friends... I promise, your shameful secret is safe with me", the Dark Lord said, leaning towards him.
"My Lord", Severus croaked eagerly and raised his head. "I will prove -"
"Your heritage is really quite inconsequential to me - a necessary evil, so to speak. I will have use for skilled men, no matter how shameful their parentage may be", the Dark Lord said, waving his hand, and Severus felt gratitude and relief swell inside him, the Dark Lord's gracious acceptance filling him with warmth. "Now, Severuss... I have heard you've been interviewed for a position", the Dark Lord said.
Severus nodded eagerly and tried to collect himself. "For the Ministry. For the Department of Mysteries, to be exact."
The Dark Lord nodded, looking pleased. "That position will be most useful for me."
Severus hesitated. "It's not certain, yet, my Lord. They have asked me to come for another interview."
The Dark Lord smiled coldly. "You will get the job."
"My Lord, I will try my -", Severus started.
"It is not a question of trying, Severus." The Dark Lord cut him off. "Did you not wonder why you were called in for an interview in the first place, when you don't meet the department's requirements? Namely, your youth, and that you haven't worked at another Ministry position for five years before applying for the post of an Unspeakable?"
Severus shifted uncomfortably again. "I did, my Lord. I believed it was because of Mr. Mulciber's influence in the Ministry. I helped his son Morland - a classmate of mine - a while back, and he promised to speak to his father and help me with my career in return."
"Oh yes, the amusing little incident with the Crucio... oh, it brings me back my own Hogwarts years", the Dark Lord said almost wistfully, and Severus eyed him in surprise, trying and failing to imagine him as s student, with his red eyes and all. "Yes, indeed, Mulciber's recommendation has helped you on your career, but not in the way you presumed. It was he who personally recommended you to my service, and based on his good word along with Lucius Malfoy's, I have in turn helped you along on your Ministry career. Does that surprise you?"
"No, my Lord. I know the Ministry is under your power", Severus said quickly. "And I thank you for your trouble."
"It is no trouble. As I said, the position will be very useful for me", the Dark Lord said, his voice metallic. "I have another Unspeakable, but he's working in a position which isn't nearly as useful for me. However, he is able to arrange for your immediate hiring. Your second interview is just an unfortunate policy, another necessary evil... What I want from you is to report everything you learn of a certain field you'll be studying, and to which my particular Unspeakable has no access to."
"My Lord?"
"As you may by now know, the Department of Mysteries is divided into chambers, each dedicated to a certain field of study. In theory, all Unspeakables have free access to all chambers, but because the subjects are so time-consuming, most have specialised in two or three fields. My current Unspeakable works with studying the Brain room and the Hall of Prophesies. I need someone in one particular chamber, wherein lies information which greatly interests me. Namely, the chamber where the subject of death is being researched."
Severus was silent for a while, absorbing this information. Despite his job interview weeks back, he'd not heard any specific details of what the position entailed; the two interviewers had been extremely discreet and vague about the details. But it all certainly made sense, and it caused him no pain of conscience to promise the Dark Lord to do as he'd asked.
"Of course, my Lord. Anything you wish", Severus said, meaning every word.
The Dark Lord nodded solemnly, and gave Severus a look which suggested he took his word very seriously.
"You will be contacted", he said. "Now. Enjoy your last weeks in Hogwarts. And be reassured, greater things await... You may leave now, Severus. Ask Bellatrix to send Rodolphus in."
Severus scrambled up at the dismissing gesture of the Dark Lord and backed towards the door, not daring to turn his back towards the man. As he reached the door, he bowed deeply, as he'd seen Bellatrix do. The Dark Lord gave him yet another cold smile, seeming pleased at his manners. Then Severus backed away from the room, closing the heavy doors behind him. He felt a mix of relief and excitement flood him – the Dark Lord had had an impressive presence, and Severus savoured each word of acceptance and encouragement he'd received from this magnificent wizard, running his words in his head over and over again. The Dark Lord had looked at him like he wasn't just a Halfblood, just a young school boy... he had treated Severus like a man.
"Well? What are you waiting for? He's not going to call you back in if that's what you're hoping!" Severus heard a voice from behind him. He turned to find Bellatrix leaning against the wall, glaring her with the identical, sharp features and dark eyes as the two veiled women in the portraits on each side of her.
"The Dark Lord asked you to send Rodolphus in", Severus said, ignoring the woman's jab.
"Rodolphus?" Bellatrix hissed, glaring at him suspiciously. "Are you certain he didn't ask for me?"
"Quite", Severus said coldly and eyed at the woman. She didn't seem to be completely right in the head, he concluded. She was glaring at him wildly, her eyes large and a little mad. She looked somewhat familiar, but he couldn't pinpoint where he could ever have met her. She didn't seem like the type of a person one could easily forget.
"Very well", Bellatrix said. "Must not keep him waiting! I trust you'll find your way out. So - what are you waiting for? Get out!"
And she turned on her heels and rushed along the hallway towards another pair of oak doors at the end of it. Severus turned to walk back towards the parlor where he'd earlier come from. This time he kept his head high, the Dark Lord's valuable approval making him almost light-headed. Did he just imagine, or did the portraits look at him more appreciatively this time, too?
It took him a while to find Floo powder from the Lestrange mansion's parlour. It wasn't on the mantelpiece as was common in most wizarding homes, but he finally discovered it stashed up in an enormous porcelain urn by the nearby windowsill, and threw it in the flames, which burned emerald. He stepped in and soon found himself back in the now relatively homey-looking drawing room of the Malfoy mansion.
"Welcome back", Lucius Malfoy said as he hurried towards the fireplace and eyed him with something that looked like surprise or relief. "I see you made your way back quite well."
Severus shook the ash off his robes and nodded, wondering if Lucius's mild surprise suggested he'd made it back against all expectations. "Yes, the Dark Lord was most gracious."
"Oh. Well", Lucius said avoidantly and gestured at him to follow. "The tea is just about to be served. Come and meet my lovely wife, Narcissa. She's of the Black family."
Severus followed him, feeling a brief sting on irritation at the mention of the Black family. He couldn't help but picture a female Sirius, full of Sirius's sneer and dark hidden cruelty. But to his surprise, Narcissa Malfoy seemed nothing like her cousin, apart from the sculptural cheekbones and jawline which seemed to run in the family and which also Sirius had inherited. Severus was rather surprised to find himself admiring the older woman's pose and manners.
"Severus Snape is an old friend of mine, from Hogwarts. He is of the Prince family. I do not believe you two were ever acquainted", Lucius said to Narcissa as he gestured at Severus to follow him to the dining room where Narcissa had been waiting, and which was also relatively homey in comparison to the bleak Lestrange dining room, where the Dark Lord probably sat at this very moment.
"No, I do not believe I ever had the pleasure", Narcissa said graciously and gave Severus her hand; he kissed it briefly. She gestured at him to take a seat.
"We have been married for five months now", Lucius told Severus as food appeared on the table, in a similar manner to Hogwarts. "Although we were already briefly acquainted at school, we didn't properly meet until a Midsummer celebration at the Ministry last year. Narcissa is a year older than I am, you see, so we didn't share any classes at Hogwarts."
"Now, now, Lucius", Narcissa scolded him gently, amusement twinkling in her eyes. "Your inclination to announce my birth year to all the world makes it so much harder to throw yet another twenty-year birthday ball."
"Ah, I believe our guest is most discreet with your secrets, dear", Lucius said and nodded at Severus. "But please, do tell us how your visit to the House of Lestrange went? We're both dying to hear", he said.
Severus was silent for a while, wondering how much it was appropriate to share. "The Dark Lord has been gracious enough to grant me a task, which I do not believe I should tell the details of."
"And... and were you Marked?" Lucius asked, leaning towards Severus eagerly, but appearing to try and sound nonchalant. His wife shot him a warning look.
"Marked?" Severus repeated slowly, not knowing what the man meant. Narcissa shook her head and laughed lightly, slapping her husband on his arm gently.
"And did you have the time to meet my sister, Bellatrix?" She changed the subject, turning towards Severus. "I do hope she's well. I haven't seen her in a while, as also she was recently married, and is, I believe, under a great deal of pressure to be to perfect hostess for their, uh, guest."
"Bellatrix is your sister?" Severus asked, eyeing the woman again, critically this time. Now that she had mentioned it, he could see the resemblance between the two sisters – and between Bellatrix and Sirius, too, theirs even stronger than the resemblance between the two women. He now understood why Bellatrix had looked so familiar. He immediately made up his mind about Bellatrix – not only had she seemed arrogant and unstable, but nobody who looked so much like Sirius Black could ever be considered a trustworthy ally. His thoughts must have reflected on his face, because Narcissa smiled at him and rushed to explain.
"Yes, Bella is my older sister. She can be a somewhat passionate person", she said lightly. "But she may grow on you."
"Of course", Severus said politely, thinking he would under no circumstances let her grow on him. He couldn't understand why he hadn't immediately spotted the resemblance between Sirius and Bellatrix; she was her dark cousin in every way, from her mad glare all the way to her straight nose.
For the rest of the visit, Lucius and Narcissa chatted lightly about their wedding and the famous and powerful acquaintances which they had invited there. Severus found himself rather envying their life, though he hid it very well. Not only did Lucius and Narcissa seem perfectly suited for one another, they possessed that peaceful, self-assured quality of people who knew exactly where they were coming from. They had no shameful heritage, of that Severus was certain of. He felt rather privileged for having managed to achieve their friendship and Lucius's "good word", and felt that he'd at least managed to do something right during his miserable Hogwarts years. And now that he thought of it, it had really been rather lucky that James Potter and Sirius Black had got it into their thick heads to sneak into the Slytherin Dungeons to amuse themselves. If it weren't for them, he might not be here, might not be about to become employed by the most prestigious Department of the Ministry, might not have become a trustee of the Dark Lord himself... excitement fluttered inside him again, as a whole new path seemed to open up in front him.
"It really is too bad you must go back to school", Lucius said to him later, having escorted him to the gates of his mansion. It was dark now, flames lit alongside the road lighting their way as they walked. "But luckily you'll only have a few weeks left. I would wish you good luck on your exams - but knowing you, I believe none is needed. So farewell, friend, and do not hesitate to turn to us should you need anything."
Severus nodded at him, thanking him for his courtesy. Then he Disapparated to Hogsmeade, which was almost as deserted in the darkness as Diagon Alley was these days. The curtains were pulled over the windows, and the gates to houses were pulled closed and locked. Only Three Broomsticks seemed to have any life inside, its windows gleaming with warm light and the shadows of customers. Severus walked past it, towards the lone and isolated house at the very edge of the village.
The Shrieking Shack was quiet and its boarded windows dark as he made his way inside. The old shack had served as his secret studying place all Spring long – as long as he tidied the place before full moon, no one would be the wiser about him using it for studying, and for getting out of Hogwarts should he need to do so. Since he was no longer missed on any of the classes, he had found himself wonderfully free to do as he pleased. This time he didn't stop in the shack, passing by the piles of books and Potions kits he'd hoarded there, but instead walked along the tunnel until he arrived to the exit in the Whomping Willow. Making certain nobody saw him leave the tree, he walked along the foliage by the side of the Forbidden Forest until he was far from the shack, and only then turning towards the castle.
Hogwarts looked magnificent against the blue of the night sky. His eyes lingered briefly on the high windows of the Gryffindor tower, where a warm yellow light flickered. He wondered if Lily was there, what she was doing, but banished the thought almost immediately, assuming he probably wouldn't like whatever it was, most especially if it involved Potter in any way. Wrestling with the anger he still felt whenever he thought of Lily and Potter, he walked over to the castle's front doors and sneaked into the staircase leading to the Slytherin Dungeons.
The common room was full of people reading for their N.E.W.T.'s and O.W.L.'s, and for once it was blissfully quiet; just the rustling of pages and quiet murmurs cut through the silence. People had finally started to take their studies seriously. He sneered a little; the exams were only a few weeks away, and as far as he was concerned, anyone who hadn't bothered to study until now might just as well fail. Severus didn't feel like studying that evening. He tried to quietly sneak into the dormitory, but was stopped by a hand grabbing him.
"Severus! I've been waiting for you! I haven't seen you around in sooo long!" Severus turned to see Generia clutching at his sleeve, her face heavily powdered and her hair braided into an intricate braid, on top of which was a black fascinator. He frowned; he'd tried his best to avoid the girl for a few weeks now, having grown tired of her chatter and stupidity.
"Why?" Severus asked, feeling genuinely confused. He thought he'd made it clear to the girl that their so called study sessions were over. She hadn't even learned any wordless magic, for Merlin's sake, no matter how much he'd tried to teach her. He knew a lost cause when he saw one. And while the other activities they'd come up with had been pleasing on their own right, he'd grown tired of that, too. She'd seemed to want something out of him, which he was unable and reluctant to give her – having lingered in his bed, wanting to cuddle, seeking some sort of an emotional connection with him that he under no circumstances wanted to forge with a girl as silly as her. In fact, while he felt some amount of satisfaction at the thought that Lily had seen the girl kiss him on her surprising visit to the Slytherin common room – what had that been about, anyway? - he also felt a little ashamed at the idea that Lily now thought he cared for a girl as vapid as Generia.
"I wanted to talk to you", Generia said and bit her lip, letting go of his sleeve.
"Then talk", Severus said, crossing his arms.
"No", Generia giggled, the white powder she used making the skin around her eyes look prematurely wrinkled as she smiled. "I mean, I want to talk to you alone."
"Oh... very well, then", Severus sighed and pushed the door to his dormitory open. "Come in, then."
Morland was sitting on his bed as they entered; he opened his mouth, perhaps to ask Severus how his meeting with the Dark Lord had gone, but when he saw he had company, he closed his mouth and got up from the bed.
"I'll leave you to it", Morland said and flashed an amused smile at Severus as he passed them. He eyed Generia scornfully as he left the dormitory.
"He gives me the creeps", Generia said as she plopped down on Severus's bed. "All the girls say it, you know. All sorts of rumours going around..."
Severus closed the dormitory door. "People who don't have anything productive to do with their time are always inclined to spread lies and rumours."
Generia giggled again. "True. I don't believe half of the things they say about him... or you, for that matter!"
Severus turned towards her, eyeing her critically. "And what, exactly, do they say about me?"
Generia toyed with a lock of hair that had escaped her braid. "They are saying that... well, for instance... that you fancy that horrible ginger Gryffindor girl. You know. The Head Girl, who's dating Potter – or was it Black? I never remember which one... I heard you were seen together on Valentine's Day. But that's not true, is it?"
Severus forced a smile on his face. "As I said. People have nothing else to do than spread gossip."
Generia laughed, appearing relieved. "I thought so. Because... well..."
Severus waited patiently, wondering what exactly was the purpose of this inane chat.
"... because I was thinking..." Generia continued bravely, "that... maybe... you wanted to be with me? I mean, be my boyfriend?"
Severus stared at her, dumbfounded.
"And what, exactly, gave you that idea?" he managed, a little more bluntly than he'd meant.
Generia looked terribly offended as she eyed Severus from the bed. She crossed her arms and hugged herself.
"Well, you did sleep with me!" she said accusingly.
"I... yes, I did. I didn't think it constituted as a formal contract of any kind", Severus said. "I thought it was clear to the both of us what that was."
Generia stared at him. "And what was it, then?" She asked, and her voice was icy now.
Severus shrugged. "Just... a way to pass the time."
Generia jumped up and stalked over to him.
"How can you even say that! What we shared was... it was special!" she shouted, and to his horror, he saw tears gathering in her eyes. He backed against the door; he couldn't stand crying girls. Well, most girls, at least.
"You're just like the rest of them!" Generia continued, her lower lip trembling. "I thought you were different! You don't even – you don't even care about everything I've done for you!"
Severus stared at her, horrified at the turn the conversation had taken. He hadn't expected her emotional reaction at all.
"What do you mean?" he asked her, baffled. "What have you done for me?"
"This!" Generia wailed and gestured at herself. Severus's eyes followed her gesture, and he remained perplexed as his eyes skimmed over her robes and settled on her heavily made up eyes, where mascara was now running down her cheeks. Then he understood.
"Oh – you mean that... that... the clothes and the face paint?" he asked her.
Generia trampled her foot. "Yes!"
Severus couldn't help the sneer that appeared on his face. "It's not like I asked for it! I don't even like your makeup – or those ridiculous hair pieces!"
Generia howled and rushed past him to the door, sobbing as she pushed him aside.
"They kept saying you're a cold-hearted bastard, but I didn't think you'd be that cruel! Stay away from me, Severus Snape!" She sobbed as she slammed the door closed behind her.
Severus went to sit on his bed, feeling deflated and baffled. He had expected the day to be emotionally draining, but little had he known that it would be this perplexing, and that the root of it was not his visit to the Lestrange mansion, but this unexpected conversation. Women...
The door opened again. Morland stepped in.
"Fern didn't look quite happy", he sneered as he made his way to his bed. "I do find it very amusing when they cry, though..."
Severus chose not to comment.
"So? How was your little visit?" Morland asked him, eyeing Severus almost enviously; the look on his face was certainly a change, as he usually looked contemptuous at best. But he had seemed to take Severus more seriously now that he'd saved him from Potter's Crucio, which had turned out to be advantageous to Severus.
"It was good, thank you", Severus said. "I'll remain waiting for further instructions."
Morland stared at him for a moment. "And... did you get the Mark?"
Severus frowned. This was the second time that came up. He made a note of it.
"No", he said simply.
"Well, don't worry. Play your cards right, and you will. Once you prove yourself", Morland said and bent to grab his Transfiguration textbook from his trunk.
"Have you, then? Been Marked?" Severus asked him, remembering Lucius's earlier question.
"Of course", Morland said haughtily. "Last summer."
Severus didn't say anything. Morland pulled the curtains around his bed closed, and soon Horton and Evan arrived, chatting about next weekend's visit to Hogsmeade. Severus followed Morland's example and closed the curtains around his bed. He wondered about the Mark, and thought of the Dark Lord's smile, his words of encouragement... yes, all in all, today had been a good day. Next week, he'd have his second job interview in London, and after that... a world of possibilities opened up in front of him. He smiled.
Severus sneaked his hand under his mattress and pulled a neatly folded note from under it. It was quite worn from the many times he'd read it. He read the words on it again and again, thinking of the hand that had written them. His insides ached with anger and yearning.
Dear Severus -
Can we meet? I want to clear things up between us -
Severus folded the note again. He mostly read just those sentences over and over, temporarily allowing himself to fall into his fantasies which she still dominated - usually not bothering with the rest of the letter, because it only made him enraged to think she wanted to resume some sort of a lukewarm friendship with him, while allowing Potter to fuck her. His blood boiled at the mere idea. He would never stand by in the sidelines as a friend and watch her with him. Severus had torn up the last part of the letter about Potter ages ago, wishing not to see the proof of her irritating worry over that putrid toerag. What did she expect? Severus to go to tea with her and her boyfriend, to attend their fucking wedding? That's undoubtedly what she was after – resuming their friendship like nothing had happened, like she hadn't ever kissed him and ground against his lap, and moaned in his mouth in pleasure! It was insufferable! Like he hadn't been humiliated enough! No – he would never let such a thing happen. And if the opportunity ever arose to arrange for the violent, painful death of James Potter, by Merlin, he would take it.
He fell asleep, much later, still thinking of her.