Chapter 14: Victory Road- The beginning of the end of the beginning of the end.

(Pokemon Red: Gym)

"When we last left our 'heroes', they managed to defeat Giovanni once and for all... I... I'm actually a little sad 'bout saying this now... But I'm afraid this is the last time I'm doing the intros! After this, it is just battle after battle, one battle a chapter! And I'm afraid that for those, I'm not needed to say the intros! Well, I guess this is goodbye... So... I'll just say what's going to happen over the next few chapters... Will Red be able to finally defeat his rival, save Kanto and become the hero Kanto needs? Is this truly the final time we'll see Red? What about Leaf, Nate, Zinnia, Lan and all the other random guest stars who appeared? Will they get a time in the limelight? Find out... Now."

"I...Actually prepared a little song that I was gonna sing as I left. So here goes!"

(Vera Lyn- We'll meet again.)

"We'll meet again!"

"Don't know where!"

"Don't know when!"

"But I know we'll meet again!"

"Some sunny day!"

"Nice knowing y'all!"

-Ash Ketchum, Announcer's voice.

Day 14 of Redneck's adventure, 2016.

(Pokemon FireRed- Victory Road)

So, this is where it came to.

"We've come so far, readers!" Redneck smiled, chugging down copious amounts of alcohol, "8 Gyms! A heck of a lot of Plot Devices and Holes! Crippling depression! Anime jokes! Memes! Cheap battles! Man, I can just remember the day I set off! Not that I did any of the things you thought I did, y'know, like killing... Pidgeys... But don't change the subject! It makes my hangover hurt more... Wow, I've grown so much..."

He hopped onto his ATV, "Here I go! MISSION START!"

(Independence Day Track #14- End Titles)

The small motor vehicle left the Viridian City Gym, as a path was cleared through the cheering crowds. Redneck waved to his adoring fans, as they wished him the best of wishes for the final leg of his adventure.

Let's listen to a few.

"REDNECK BUDWIENER! DON'T DIE ON ME! YO' MOTHA AND I DIDN'T BUST OUR HUMPS TO WATCH YA DIE OUT THERE!"

"RED-KUN! SAVE KANTO!"

"RED? RED? REEEEEEDDDDDDD!"

"MAKE KANTO GREAT AGAIN! MAKE THE GREATEST DEALS!"

"STOP THE BOATS!"

"GO, DRAGON WARRIOR! SAVE THE VALLEY!"

"SEMPAI NOTICED ME! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"I still think this thing sucks."

"Agreed."

"KICK HIS GUM, AND CHEW HIS ASS! Wait, what?"

"WHY ARE WE ALL STANDING HERE?!"

"WYNAUT!"

"I GOT ALL YOUR ACTION FIGURES!"

"GIVE ME A R! E!D! N! E! C! K! WHAT DO YOU GET?!"

"A PILE OF LETTERS!"

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH- Wait, what?"

Redneck Budwiener cleared his throat, "Friends, Kantonians, Countrymen, Pokemon, ladies, gentlemen, and beings of... dubious gender, lend me your ears! Not literally, though, because that's gross. Anyway, I'm glad we are all here today, because over the next few days, we shall end the devil's reign. Blue Sepiroth may be the greatest threat we face, but with our resolve, we shall pull through! We are gathered here today to salute those who fight for peace; for justice. To correct the evils of enemies in the world. For VALOUR! INSTINCT! AND Mystic, apparently... huh... GO KANTO! FOR ENDLESS LIGHT! And now that I've ripped off the Team Rocket Motto, I can continue with my epic speech! Blue may take your lives. He may take your family. He may take your pokemon. But he shall never take away two things; Our freedom..."

Red dumped the rest of his beer on his head, "OR OUR TESTOSTERONE! HOO HAH!"

The crowd whooped, still as shallow as always.

The boy in red saluted, "THIS MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY SOUTH ORRAN TEQUILA™! NOW AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL BOTTLE STORE!"

Leaf rolled her eyes, "Red, are we leaving yet?" Red stopped her, "Wait! But I haven't even gotten to the musical montage!" The nurse slapped Red, "NOW, RED!" "AH! OKAY! DON'T HURT MEEEEE!" Red yelped, gunning the engines and speeding towards Victory Road.

(Megaman 2- Wily Castle Stage 1)

Blue sat in his throne room, pissed. He zapped a wall, "Ugh. Bored. I wonder how Red's doing?"

He switched on his StalkerCam™ and gasped at what he saw.

"GASP! HE'S ENTERED VICTORY ROAD, DESPITE MY DEFENCES!"

Lance ran in, "Sir! Terrible news! The defences have been defeated by a Kantonian air strike! The road's undefended!" Blue cursed, "DAMN THAT REDNECK! ACTIVATE THE HARD LIGHTS! ACTIVATE THE GHOSTS! DEFEAT HIM, AND HIS LITTLE DOG TOO!"

(ABBA- Waterloo)

When we last left the Budwieners, they were entering Victory Road. Well, turns out that some moron left the door locked, so Red used some charges to politely blow the door open. He couldn't decide how many to use, so he just went with his gut.

Y'know the meteorite from ORAS? Well, about that...

The first guard stopped Red, "Stop! Only those with the BoulderBadge may pass!" Leaf looked at Red, "Where did you put all your badges, anyway?" The protagonist gave a dirty smirk, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

He reached for his pants...

And unclipped a small black box from his belt, opening it and showing it to the guard. The man smiled, "I see you have the badge! Pass!"

About 10 metres away, Red encountered another guard, "Wait! Only those with the WaterBadge may pass!"

Red reached for the badge, but the guard smiled, "I heard you got the badge, so you can pass!"

"Oh, okay! Thanks!" Leaf smiled.

Another 10 metres away, Red was surfing on Utilitikarp over a small river, when a guard standing on a small island stopped him, "Only those with the SparkBadge may-" He sniffed the air, "Wait, I can smell you have the badge! Well, pass!"

Red and Leaf exchanged glances, "...Um... Okay?"

"I still have no idea how you managed to emerge from the water all of a sudden." our hero scratched his head, "How long were you down there?"

"GrassBadge..." the guard began running his hands suggestively over Red's body. Red yelped, swatting him away, "WHAT?!"

"I felt you had the badge! Pass! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" the man laughed maniacally, ducking back under the waves.

Leaf couldn't stop laughing, "I love Kanto."

"Shut up, Leaf."

The next guard licked his lips, "Mmm... Tangy..."

Redneck stared, "... I'm guessing you want the PsyBadge, right?"

"Oh, no need." the man smiled, "I tasted it. You may pass... Mmm... So tangy..."

"...Oh my god."

Leaf braced herself for the next guard...

"I thought you had the SoulBadge! You can pass!"

"That was quick." the Scarlet Wonder commented.

Detective Looker smirked, "Well, you know..."

"Oh! That's the S***! Aw, yeah!" the guard smiled, "Pass! Ah, that feels good!"

Red stared at the FireBadge, now covered in...um...huh...

"... You just... Oh my... Sweet Arceus..."

His sister repeatedly kept throwing up the contents of her stomach into a nearby dumpster for a solid 1 hour.

Yoda opened his eyes, "On you, the EarthBadge I sense. Pass, you may. Heheheh!"

Red dunked his fist, "HELL YEAH! All that remains is for us to... head... into... a cave... OH S***!"

"Right, Oh S*** is!"

"Shut up, Yoda."

Red whistled to himself, "I wanna be, the very best! Like no one ever- Woah. When did this happen?"

(Pokemon Red- Battle! VS Trainer!)

A row of glowing holographic cannons appeared before him. Glitch, from her ball, frowned, "Red, these are hard light projections; highly advanced programs that work like holograms, but can affect the physical- WATCH OUT!"

"PISSBUCKETS!" Red yelped, as an explosion blew up behind him. Both him and Leaf dismounted their bikes, ducking for cover behind several rocks. Leaf pulled out her pistol, "Red! My bullets aren't doing anything to them! We can't blow them up!"

Red groaned, before noticing the ground beneath him was metallic. He dusted off some dirt, revealing a circular metal pad.

He cocked his head, "Hmm? Well..." His brain got to work assessing the situation, before he came to a conclusion.

"EGAD! These buttons must be the switches for the cannons! I shall place a heavy rock on each, and then they shall deactivate!" His sister stared, "That is literally... The DUMBEST idea I heard in this entire adventure! What is this, The Legend of Zelda?"

(The Legend of Zelda- Title Theme)

Red pulled off his hat and put on a floppy green cap, "Worth a shot! Go! UtilitiKarp!"

He grabbed the Magikarp in one hand, whacking a reasonably sized round rock repeatedly with the fish, "USE STRENGTH!" Amazingly enough, doing so actually caused the rock to move in the direction Red wanted it to move. After 2 minutes of repeatedly slapping stuff with a fish, the rock finally rested atop the button. Cue Legend of Zelda Secret Sound Effect.

The cannons exploded, dropping a green rupee. Red picked it up, "Dah dah dah DAAAAH! You got one rupee! Too bad you can't use it here! Wait a sec."

He glared at the green gem, "I hit a rock with a fish for two minutes straight... and only got ONE RUPEE?! AND IT'S FOREIGN CURRENCY! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO USE THIS! DARN YOU TAJIRI!"

Leaf blinked, "The Legend of Zelda was made by Miyamoto."

"Oh, well... DARN YOU MIYAMOTO!"

Suddenly, a guy wearing a business suit and a fez ran past, snatching up the Rupee from Red's hands, "MONEY!"

Leaf stared, "...Did that just happen?"

"No. Nothing happened at all."

(A.N. Gravity Falls Joke... :D )

Red continued his journey into the depths of the cave, his torch shining bright. Several more turrets appeared in his way, but several whacks of a fish later, and they went down. Suddenly, a massive cannon rose out of the ground dramatically.

Red sighed, "I can't see the switch. Aw well. Goodbye world, thanks for all the booze."

Suddenly, the giant cannon vanished. Red turned to face his sister, who was standing by the wall with a finger on what looked like a light switch. Red sighed, "You're no fun." Leaf smirked, "Whatever floats your boat! We got incoming!"

Red looked up, as hundreds of ghost-types approached him from every angle. Leaf pulled out her proton pack, "Red! Be careful! I'm not sure if I can handle them!" The scarlet trainer ran up to the ghosts, pulling out a massive gun, "When I said IDKFA, I got every Doom weapon! Since these ghosts are from hell... UNMAKER GO! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The following scenes have been removed for timeliness, but all can be summarised in two words; LAZOR BEAMZ!

After sending the things back to wherever the heck they came from, our hero advanced.

(Final Fantasy VII- One Winged Angel)

Suddenly, just as Red was about to reach the second floor ladder, his worst enemy appeared. The only thing Redneck feared. The thing that made him turn from the hunter to the hunted.

"RANDOM ENCOUNTERS! AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Zubat after Zubat surrounded him, these ones backed up by Onixes, Geodudes, Machamps, Dittos, and other miscellaneous wild Pokemon. Leaf whimpered, "H...Hey g...guys... M...Maybe we can..."

Red pulled out his shotgun, "We can't. Prepare for battle!"

The enemy closed in around them, as Red instinctively pumped his shotgun, "We were destined for conflict, weren't we?"

His eyes narrowed, "But if I were to go down today..."

The hero of Kanto's enemies came upon him, covering the light.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Cue deux ex machina.

(The Avengers- Main Theme)

"BATTLECHIP IN! SHOTGUN!"

"JIBANYAN! ATTACK!"

A blast from a nearby blue flash blew the advancing Pokemon back, as blue flames set them alight! Leaf blinked, "What just happened there?!"

Two boys walked out from the shadows...

Nate waved, "Hi! I heard you managed to make it to the league, so I came here to help you out!" Lan nodded, "We even called in a few friends of ours!"

Red looked between the main protagonists of Yo-Kai Watch and Megaman Battle Network, "... Cool... But Lan... I'm not sure if you can handle fighting. I mean, you can hack and all that-" "Luckily, this entire cave is lined with hard light projectors!" Glitch reminded him, "Lan's wireless Terminal probably connected to the wifi in Victory Road, allowing him to fight with his... 'Navi'!"

Lan nodded, "She's exactly on the ball! I did just that. Only the holograms chew up my battery like crazy, so I can use it only in short bursts. But it's more than enough to pull off a few blows!"

Our hero smiled, "Science is so amazing!"

Our hero now looked at the gang of allies he had amassed during the course of his journey, "Lan... Nate... Together, we can stop Blue. I can't handle the Elite Four alone, so... Let's fight together! We are gonna rock this region today!"

Lan Hikari's PET flashed on, "Yeah! No matter what..." The Spirit Watch flickered, "No matter when..."

"From beginning then..."

"To days last..."

Red's Mega Bracelet shone with a bright light, "We are gonna kick some Terrorist ass!"

The trio, having yelled their motto, charged into the fray, "FOR KANTO!"

Leaf watched on, "Uh... Guys? You forgot me..."

2 minutes later...

Megaman .EXE slashed at several Cannons, "We've deleted approximately 50% of all the cannons here! How are things on your end, Red?"

The person in question dodged a Tackle, Char rushing up behind the Zubat and smiting it with his mighty claws, "All good! We're making good progress with the incoming!"

Nate's watch shone, as he strategically eliminated Ghost-Types surrounding them, "I can see the exit! But it's blocked by a door." Red's sister thought, "Well, remember that button we saw at the start? I figure this door can only be lowered by finding another one and placing a rock on it. Guys, find the swit-"

BLAM!

Red's RPG smoked, "Too much effort."

Leaf looked at the door, shrugged, and approached it.

(Pokemon FireRed- Victory Road)

The quartet stood atop a cliff, as the midday sun shone upon them. Red adjusted his cap, looking down upon the castle before him. Finally, he was at the great place itself. The Pokemon League lay before him, outstretched like a great carpet from his view upon the cliff. The main building's roof shone in the sunlight. It was like the gates of heaven itself...

Our hero turned to face his party, "Lan... Nate... and Leaf... We've come this far. We're the very best, like no one ever was. I have sworn that training is my cause. And... This world... I will defend it!"

Red ran forwards to the building...

Annnnddd END CHAPTER!