MrDarcy Does Houston – End
SCENE 34
INT.: LORRIE- ANN'S DEN- LATE AFTERNOON
(LA and Reba are having a drink after)
R: So has he called?
LA: Let's see. He's moving in. You just saw him fifteen minutes ago, so he's probably been at the house about that long. No, Reba, he hasn't called.
R: Call him, Lorrie Anne.
LA: I'm trying to be less forward, Reba.
R: You are in love.
(The doorbell rings. Reba looks at Lorrie Ann.)
R: He's here, he's here!
(Reba rushes over to the front door and opens it. There is Bingely and behind him, Darcy. Reba stares, recovers, and gives Charlie a hug.)
R: Charlie, it's so good to see you! Come in, come in!
(She glances at Darcy and gives him a quick smile.)
R: Hi, Will.
D: Hi, Reba.
(Barbara Jean runs in right behind them.)
BJ: Oh my gosh, Charlie's back! We have missed you so much! Remember me? I'm Barbara Jean, Brock's wife? Reba's friend? You have missed so much intrigue around here, Charlie. That bum Wickham left owing every bookie in town and – none of you know this yet, so it's breaking news- he's been indicted for attempting to sell steroids to minors. On top of what he did to poor little Kyra and her reputation.
(Reba turns red, clenches her fists and her jaws and walks toward Barbara Jean with narrowed eyes.)
BJ: But on a lighter note, remember that your homeowners' association dues need to be in by the third of the month.
CHARLIE: Barbara Jean, I thought you took a job in Vegas.
BJ: I got fired for taking too much time off.
R: Fired? You didn't tell us that!
BJ: Didn't come up.
R: Where's Henry?
BJ: At your house with Jake.
R: Jake has a big project due tomorrow. He doesn't have time to babysit Henry. Go get him and get a hotel, Barbara Jean, until you get a job.
BJ: But-
(Reba smiles at Charlie and LA.)
R: Sorry! Barbara Jean, let's take this outside.
(They go outside, leaving LA and Charlie alone)
R: Barbara Jean, you need to find a job, an apartment, and stay put. Henry has enough trouble with his disability without you moving all over creation and dragging him with you.
BJ: You're right; I know you're right. You're always right. Why can't I be like you, Reba? Why can't I be the one everyone turns to?
R: Trust me; you don't want the responsibility and you couldn't handle the power.
(Suddenly, Lorrie Ann flings open the door.)
LA: He proposed!
(They hug.)
BJ: Oh, Lorrie Ann,let me be your wedding planner!
LA: Uh…oh, Barabara Jean, it's too early for that.
BJ: Oh, it's never too early.
R: Barbara Jean, leave the woman alone to enjoy this for just a dang minute! Go get Henry so Jake can study and start planning the wedding cake.
BJ: (Looks off in the distance) The Cake! Hey, Reba, you got any graph paper?
R: Jake has some. Now, git!
(BJ runs off excited and happy)
LA: Reba, I don't want that crazy giant Barbie making my cake! She'll probably pop out of it in the middle of the ceremony.
R: Don't worry; I deal with that later. Meanwhile, I bought you a good two weeks. I'm so happy for you both I could just cry.
LA: Don't do that! Then you'll make me feel all sorry for you and then I'll have to spend time away from Charlie to get you cheered up. I just got to find you a man.
R: I'm happy like I am, Lorrie Ann. Why would I want to throw another human into the huge mess of a family I already have?
LA: Because it could be better if you had a man to depend on.
R: I think those went the way of the dinosaur.
LA: Charlie's not a dinosaur
R: But he's one in a million.
LA: And there are 5 million in the greater Houston area,so that means somewhere out there (she gestures with a sweep of her arm) five men are waiting for you to show the hell up.
R: I just wish God would point 'em out somehow, you know, like paint 'em with glow in the dark ink or wear a certain type of hat or have a secret phrase like the title of one of the songs I like.
LA: Reba, you ask an awful lot of God.
R: Well, by jingo, He's asked a lot of me.
(Charlie comes out and Reba hugs him.)
R: What's Caroline going to do now?
C: Pout and go to Elizabeth Arden, then to Cannes. She'll be fine in a month.
LA: And if she's not?
C: Then she'll freeze us out and we'll never have to see her again. It's a win/win situation.
SCENE 35
INT: REBA'S DEN- AFTERNOON
(The whole family is over watching a college football game. Lorrie Ann and Charlie are over. Darcy is there, but he sits over in a side chair, watching the others, mainly Reba, yell at the refs.)
R: You're blind, ref; that was a clip. It was a clip, wasn't it, Van? You saw it!
V: Yes, Mrs. H., it was a clip.
BROCK: Anybody want the last bit of dip?
BJ: As if you need it.
B: Hey, we're not married anymore.You can't tell me what to do.
BJ: Obviously: You've gained fifteen pounds since the divorce.
(Brock grabs the dip and eats it with his hands.)
BJ: You are such a pig.
(He licks his lips. BJ suddenly lunges for him and kisses him.)
LA: Get a room, you baboons.
(Reba runs over and starts hitting them with pillows, punctuating her words with blows.)
R: Not – in – my – house – you – don't – now – get – out – or – I'll – go – get – the – chili- and – pour – it – on – you!
(BJ and Brock go in the kitchen to talk. Reba is so mad she is shaking.)
R: I'm going outside to get some air!
(She is walking briskly away from the house on the sidewalk in the neighborhood. Darcy runs up from behind and catches up with her.)
R: I coud just feel my blood pressure going up.
D: It wasn't exactly down when you were watching the football game.
R: That wasn't tense excitement. That was fun. I just yell for fun. But BJ and Brock are another story. They'll always get on my nerves.
(They walk a moment in silence.)
R: Hey, thanks for coming over. I know American football's not your thing.
D: I enjoy the fact that you all enjoy it so much.
(More silence)
R: Listen, I have to confess something. I'll blame it on my high blood pressure, because I know you meant to keep it confidential, but I must tell you how grateful I am, beyond any words, for how you saved Kyra fromWickham.
(Darcy's mouth falls open, he stops to look at her, then turns and continues walking, but they walk more slowly.)
R: Please don't blame Kyra. She was upset with herself and her diagnosis and was expressing her relief at how you got her out of a situation she didn't realize was unsafe. My whole family would thank you, but I kept it from them. I thought you'd want it that way. Please know,Will, how grateful we all are to have her back safe.
D: Well, I am sorry you ended up knowing, but don't give me the grand recognition of a hero, because I didn't do it for your family; I did it for you.
R: For me? After all I did to insult you last spring?
D: I deserved it; I asked for it. I've been such a snob all my life. I will never forget what you said that day in Las Vegas: You act as though just because you have money and influence, I should jump into your arms and ride off into the sunset. But I'd just as soon jump into a trough full of snakes as marry you.
R: Oh, geez, don't bring that up!
D: Those words have run through my mind at least a hundred times a day since then.
R: Oh, Will, I had no intention of torturing you like that. I'm sorry!
D: No, no, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty! I needed that to wake me out of my stupor. You began a needed change which I would have continued to make whether or not you really cared for me. No discipline is pleasant at the time and all that. I thought you were probably still anti-Darcy.
R: Because my mind was poisoned by the nefarious Mr. Wickham!
D: "Nefarious?"
(She smiles.)
R: It's nice to enjoy the English language with someone besides Kyra. Although Jake's getting there.
(He stops walking and turns toward her.)
D: Look, Reba, you are too kind a person to play with my feelings. If you still feel about me the same way you did at my aunt's in Vegas, tell me now say it loud and clearly. I will understand and accept it graciously, and will never bother you again.
(Reba blinks but says nothing; she looks at him with a Mona Lisa smile. He waits, then takes a step forward.)
D: If , however, your feelings have changed…
(Reba steps forward and her voice is shaking, her eyes searching his)
R: They have changed, Will, they have changed so - so completely –that – I…I…I love ya,Will; I can't help it. I loved you since I saw you sitting at your piano.
D: I loved you since you showed up at Charlie's in your sweats to nurse Lorrie Ann.
R: You're kidding. I thought you hated me.
D: Oh, believe me; I tried.
(He caresses her faces with one of his hands. She reaches up to run her fingers through his hair. He gathers her face in both hands and brings his lips to meet hers. They part briefly and Will opens his eyes to reposition, but Reba's eyes remain closed. In the background, a Mini Cooper parks in front of them. It's Barbara Jean, Brock, and Henry. She rolls down the window and leans out.)
BJ: Now who's making out in public, hmmmm? Get a room, you animals.
(Reba continues kissing Darcy while waving off Barabara Jean. Brock tries to stop BJ.)
B: Look, Barbara Jean; she's made her choice. Leave her alone.
BJ: Well, I don't care how rich he is; I think he's a snob and a miserable spoil sport who has no sense of humor. How can Reba be happy with someone like that?
(R&D stop kissing.)
R: He's none of those things anymore, Barbara Jean. He's changed.
BJ: Yeah, right. And there will be lasting peace in the Middle East.
(They drive away.)
D: So, do I need to check with your family before I ask you out on a real date?
R: Let's see, do they check with me before they do all the stupid things they do? Um, no. So why should I check with them before I do one of the smartest and most exciting things I've ever done in my life?
(Darcy grins.)
D: Race you to my car?
R: Race? I haven't run in years. I'm not sure-
(She takes off suddenly without warning. He catches up and they talk while still sprinting.)
D: Isn't this bad for your blood pressure?
R: Nope.
(Reba touches the Aston-Martin first.)
D: What the-
R: I faked you out. I've been doing elliptical training for the past six months. My blood pressure's gone down so much that my doctor was able to cut my dose in half.
D: Go, Reba!
R: Only now, I need a shower.
D: If you don't want the trouble, we can just go to Subway.
(Reba gives him a look. He grins.)
D: Nope, just kidding. The Brownstone.
R: Yikes, Will. That's a five-star restaurant. I may not have anything to wear.
D: Consult Cheyenne. Pick you up at seven?
(Reba looks at her watch.)
R: That gives me…three hours. Perfect.
(They kiss again, then he gets in his car and drives off. Reba sighs.)
SCENE 39
INT: REBA'S DEN- EVENING
(Van opens the door for Darcy and eyes him sternly.)
V: Mr. Darcy.
D: Evening, Van.
(Cheyenne comes down and stands on the landing.)
CHEY: I know we're supposed to make you wait like at least five minutes, but I can't stand it.
(Reba comes down the stairs in a gold silk shantung chemise with a crocheted burgundy shawl, metallic high heeled sandals, and a matching bag. Cheyenne has swept her hair up in a loose chignon. Darcy gawks.)
D: W-w-wow.
(He takes her hand.)
D: They may let us eat free. Or I may not even want to eat.
(Van steps forward.)
V: Easy, big boy.
R: Back off, Van.
V: Have her back by midnight.
(Darcy and Reba look at him and laugh while walking out the door.)
SCENE 40
EXT: A BEACH-AFTERNOON
(Whole family on a beach in the Caribbean. All cast members present. Everyone is in light green casual wear except the minister, who is in a white robe. Reba's in a strapless mint sundress and is barefoot and holding one white hibiscus. Will Darcy is in a mint shirt and khakis rolled up, also barefoot. They say their vows, unheard by the mics. They kiss, everyone cheers. Reba throws the hibiscus. BJ lunges to catch it. She and Brock look at each other and shrug.)
SCENE 41
EXT: DAYTIME – CAMERA SHOT FROM OVERHEAD DARCY'S SAILING YACHT
(Camera pans in for a close up. Reba is at the wheel and Darcy is pointing at the windlass and the sails. Camera pans back out and away to show them sailing in the ocean next to an isolated island with one house in the center of it.)
END TITLES