14. Somebody to Love

No one tried to stir me. Any time Poona was brought up as supposed inspiration for me to start training, I turned the suggestion flatly and hollowly down.

Yes, I knew she had wanted me to start training. Yes, I knew she wasn't going to magically come back and I should just move on with my life. Yes, I knew that I had been successful with my first task by liberating my own pokémon and supplying her with freewill. I knew all of this.

But I didn't care. I wouldn't care unless I had Poona, and she wasn't coming back. We didn't even know where she went and how she managed to sneak away so momentously.

I filled the void by locking myself in my room and sulking depressingly within my blankets. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. The only person I had tried talking to about it was Sophie, but her cell phone still remained disconnected. I would immediately be redirected to some cell phone service about how the number no longer existed. So I stopped trying. Because of Poona's disappearance, the rescue mission plans had fallen flat. I could now only hope that Poona and Sophie would return so that I could move on with my life.

I had nobody. I was now completely friendless.

Elder Li tried stopping by to see me in my empty state to suggest I visit Sprout Tower. He had been thinking it would rejuvenate me. I somehow managed to reject him without insults or threats, which meant I had made some kind of moral progress from Poona's departure. Elder Li noticed this, too, because he complimented me about it, genuinely smiling about my cooperation, even if I had been declining him.

It had been two and a half months since Poona had left. I had mindlessly gone to school each day, frustrated by my loneliness and suffering through it in silence. This baffled my teachers quite a bit, but they didn't broach the subject of my odd behavior, probably because Mom and Dad had managed to explain what had happened without me realizing they had done so.

Jacoby hung around as part of his promise—which he had undeniably been guilted into—to Mom and Dad to not leave until Trevor and I had both earned our licenses. While he was here, he went out each day to try and find Poona. Even though I discouraged him from doing so, deep down the desire to do the same weighed down on my heart. I didn't have the energy to restrict him completely, so I let him do whatever he wanted. He was going to do whatever he could to find Poona for me, and that was very touching.

The reasons behind his endless search I was still pondering. The argument he had with Chewy had really affected him. He had been even quieter than Trevor since the conversation had happened. He still let Chewy roam around, but there was an unsolvable tension present that neither of them could let go of. I noticed that he was actually giving his pokémon more freedom now, letting them roam and wander about and asking for their input. Chewy had silenced his opinions since he had first expressed them, but he was always thinking. Jacoby and I could see that.

Trevor turned ten on May 3rd. We held a small, private celebration and began the countdown until the time when we were both able to earn our licenses. When that time came, Trevor and I passed the test easily. We could now march around with a small plastic card as evidence of our legitimacy. That would be dandy and all if I actually wanted to have one now.

Instead of smiling down at my notable triumph, I pocketed it disdainfully and crossed over into the summer without having much to say. Mom and Dad were ushering us to go on a journey at the same time and were already mulling over what pokémon they could get for the both of us. Jacoby even volunteered to fly out to capture some rare—but still young—pokémon. Despite this being an obviously sensitive issue for me, they were downright pushy about it and wouldn't listen to me when I declared indignantly that I didn't want any pokémon. I just wanted to stay home if I couldn't have Poona, who was rightfully my only possible starter.

A week after we earned our licenses, I came home to find a poliwag tied to the porch and a lone pokéball next to it. Trevor immediately made a grab for the pokéball, gleefully releasing a pidgey. The pidgey showed no resistance as it was vaulted into the air by Trevor's joyful arms. The poliwag struggled helplessly against the confinement of the leash, however, nearly battering itself against the wall. Even Keane would have been able to see that it didn't want to be here.

I was so incensed by its appearance that I yanked it toward me by the leash and reached down to unhook the collar.

"Chelle, don't! It took me forever to get that one," Jacoby whined, grabbing me by the shoulder and forcing me back after emerging from the house. I spun on him, almost slashing him—and strongly wanting to—from the sharpness of the movement.

"You're so stupid! Do you really think I want another pokémon?" I screamed. "Is this poliwag named Poona? No! Do you honestly think I'd replace her? And wait, I'm supposed to give this thing a choice before letting it go, right?" I didn't give him time to respond. I kneeled to the ground, asking the poliwag icily, "Do you want to be here? Do you want to be my pokémon?"

It shook itself so vehemently it was trembling. That was enough for me. I unhooked the collar, which enabled it to dash madly away, scurrying in the direction of the nearest pond. I ignored Jacoby's fallen look and Trevor's dispelled merriment by calmly walking away.

Maybe I should begin training. It would distract me from how vacant I was feeling and give me a reason to stay in Violet City. I actually did want to stay now because I thought Poona might make some triumphant return. And Sophie did promise she'd come and see me again someday. Even if her phone and mother were gone, that didn't mean she would be. These excuses were enough to last me for another year.

When I confessed what I wanted now to Mom and Dad, they didn't argue against my staying but did ask if I was feeling well. I didn't force a smile but assured them, in the most monotone way, that I was doing fine and just needed to do whatever I was supposed to do. They weren't convinced, but they did agree this was for the best. Maybe this way I would be rewarded with Poona's presence.

Elder Li, however, didn't agree. The day after my prolonged stay in Violet City was secure, I journeyed to Sprout Tower, only to be turned away by the very decisive monk. I didn't even make it through the door when Elder Li spun to see me and yanked me back to the bridge.

"What are you doing? I'm here to train!" I shouted. Wasn't this what he wanted?

He had lugged me all the way to the bridge before giving me a response. "You're not ready."

"But…but months ago, you said…you said I should start training!" I cried, utterly confused.

"That was months ago, when you were driven, when you had a strong will. Now your will has diminished so completely that it would be pointless to pursue your training now. Your spirit needs to be revitalized," he said dismissively. I knew what that meant.

I needed Poona back.

While I could have argued nastily back, I instead took his words carefully and used them to steer me in the direction of the routes I had trudged through numerous times. That was precisely where I was for my venture for today.

At first the grass was devoid of inhabitants until I examined it thoroughly and saw a few pidgey hopping out from their nest. Three sentrets—I noted miserably—were also roaming around the scattered patches, rolling amongst the swaying masses. All of them became aware of my presence simultaneously and then withdrew themselves, completely alert and mistrusting.

I held up my hands openly. "Look. No pokémon. I won't hurt you. Do whatever you were doing."

A few of the pidgey regarded me suspiciously, but for the most part the more trusting sentrets continued their blissful play. I watched them for a bit, bending down in the grass and stretching out my legs. They reminded me so strongly of Poona that it hurt to watch them, but I couldn't exactly leave them until I asked them some questions for some much needed answers.

"Hey…have any of you seen a furret? Named Poona?" I added, when they raised their heads quizzically in my direction.

I didn't know if the sentrets were old enough to begin talking because they just stared at me, probably willing me to go away. One of the more mature pidgeys flapped his wings slightly and gave me a stern expression.

"No."

"…Okay. Thanks," I said lamely.

I wanted to kick his nest as I was walking by, but I restrained myself by merely kicking dirt instead, striding in the direction of the small pond in the upper section of the route. When I bent down to peer in the water, I thought I saw the vague shimmer of a goldeen's scales, but I didn't have the motivation or desire to meddle with it. I stuck my finger in the water thoughtlessly, forming ripples that resounded and distended from my touch.

I didn't know what else to do. Something told me the other pokémon would be just as uncooperative and distrustful. It's not like I had shown up with the verve to battle and capture them as I had seen other trainers do earlier—young ten-year-olds who wanted nothing more than to be glorious and successful. I didn't think I'd ever been as annoying as they were with their liveliness, but Jacoby had assured me that I had been and still was. Jerk. I made sure to hide his pokémon again when he told me this.

I was still sticking my hands in the water and making shapes out of the newly formed ripples when a voice from behind alarmed me considerably.

"What are you doing?"

"Ahh!" I caught myself from taking a dive in the water. If I had been just an inch closer, I would have fallen in for sure.

I whirled around to eye one of the male sentrets I had seen earlier. He was staring at me thoughtfully and didn't seem to be astounded by my reaction or my presence.

"Ugh…you scared me. Don't do that," I said, pressing my hand over my heart and waiting for its beats to thrum feebly against my palm instead of the unsettlingly swift tempo it was currently catapulting at.

The sentret stared at me cautiously, conspicuously watching my hand. When I noticed how concentrated he was on it, I waved, hopefully disbanding his suspicions with the gesture.

"Hi. I said I wouldn't hurt you, didn't I?"

His tail swished from behind him, splaying the grass. "You could be lying…You don't smell the way humans smell. You smell…funny."

…Did he just say I smell funny?

What.

It felt like my look could start a fire. "You're the one to talk, little mister. You call that a tail? I call that a fail."

He stared. "…You understand me. Humans can't normally understand us. Who are you?"

"Just an awesome person." I took a step toward him, which he parried by taking one back. "Here, you want me to empty my pockets? I promise I don't have anything to catch you with."

I stuck my hands in each of my pockets, pulling out whatever objects were in them. I found things I had completely forgotten about and things that were new even to me. I didn't know how I had a harmonica or even a bag of corn. All I knew was I usually had some weird shit anyway; therefore, this shouldn't have surprised me.

After taking a notably long time to empty them all out, I held up the summoned objects and began to deposit them back into the holders on my belt.

"See? Nada." I placed my hands on my hips, leaning forward slightly accusingly. "Do you have anything to capture me with?"

He obviously didn't get the point of my teasing or that I was even teasing him to begin with. He looked startled at my suggestion and shook his head strongly, speaking with a steely voice to support him of his trustworthiness.

"No! I wouldn't capture you! That'd be mean," he declared.

"You're right, that would be mean," I agreed. I eyed him with as much caution as he'd had in the beginning. "Why did you come and find me, little sentret?"

He pawed the ground anxiously. "I was curious…And now I'm even more so. How can you hear me?"

"Oh yeah?" I wanted to talk about how curiosity killed the meowth, but then I realized that wouldn't help with my credibility as a nonviolent human being. Instead, I said, "It doesn't matter how I can understand you. Why were you curious?"

"…You're looking for a furret?"

My heart pounded a little too coarsely from his response. "Yes. Why? Have you seen one?"

He took a steady pause before nodding agreeably. I could have dove at him and shook the life out of him in utter relief, but I didn't. I rooted myself to the spot and tried to be a tree. Trees were calm, right? Quiet? I needed to be that way right now. I didn't want to scare him away.

"REALLY?" Tree power!

He nodded again.

"Where? Wheredidyouseeone? Can you lead me to the place? Please? Pretty please?" I was the worst tree ever. I sounded desperate, but I was at that point. He could sense that.

He regarded me doubtfully. "Why do you want to see one so bad?"

"My friend is a furret, and I have missed seeing her," I said, once again desperately.

He combed his tail with one paw while viewing me from the corner of his eye. He was hesitating. Did he not believe me? He had to show me before this furret moved from wherever it was!

"Do you know if its name is Poona?"

He shyly brought his gaze to the ground. "I don't know…She's just 'Momma' to me."

Oh. That deflated me a little bit. But who knows? Poona might have gotten busy, settled down with some kids. It was weird to think of her doing such things since she was still so young and hardly sophisticated enough to enter motherhood. Plus, I'd imagine she would have come to see me with her underlings if she did. That probably would have made me dance happily around the house with the news about being a grandmother, disregarding how elderly the title usually was and making me feel special for being one while still being so youthful.

I was so desperate at this point that I was willing to tackle any furret at the slim chance it might have been Poona. It didn't cross my mind that she had a thing going on with Chewy. I was currently suppressing that.

"Well, I'd be happy to meet your mother, just so I can see if she's my friend," I said willingly.

He still eyed me with about as much trust as he ought to toward a stranger. I gave him points for that, but I was getting fairly annoyed that he didn't trust me completely. My intentions were good, obviously, and I had already proven I wasn't out to capture him. How long was this going to take?

"…Okay. Follow me."

Well then. Not long at all.

It wasn't hard to keep up with him. It just took a lot of running through rows of trees and trampling through all kinds of bushes. Still, I had to make sure I didn't step on him. His stubby legs didn't take him as fast as Poona's did.

When we made it to our destination—which was a relatively open space with bushes surrounding a particularly bushy patch of grass—I spotted a rather large furret curled up on some twigs.

She didn't look particularly excited to see me, and my enthusiasm had already begun fading when I saw a lack of recognition in her eyes. After a brief moment of observation, I could even tell this wasn't my Poona. This furret's eyes were smaller, beadier and much bluer, with a weaker tail to boot. Poona's tail had been robust and massive with enough strength to support her long body. The furret I was staring at was longer than Poona, most likely fully grown, with a skinnier tail.

The furret responded to my presence by first finding her son and then glaring at me from a rough bush. "…Chimley, get over here!" she ordered. "We do not associate ourselves with humans. You could have been caught. Or worse, killed."

Chimley looked shrunken from this shrewd command and slunk to his mother before she could offer him more punishing words. He whispered something to her, probably in defense of my appearance, but she draped her tail sternly around him. I sighed, almost defeated at being unable to find my dearly missed pokémon.

"It's okay. I won't hurt you. I was just looking for a friend. She's also a furret."

The mother remained cautiously transfixed by my presence. She wasn't going to say or do anything until I was out of sight, it seemed.

Sighing again, I waved goodbye and ducked through some very tall bushes.

That is, I was going to, until I heard some frightened squealing from behind me.