14. Behind The Wall Of Sleep
James pulled over immediately. Peter woke up thrashing about, drenched in sweat, and breathing heavily. Once the car stopped, both James and Assumpta got out of the car and tried to soothe him. All three were clearly distressed. Peter was sitting in the front passenger seat, and with his door open he was able to swing his legs out and plant them on solid ground. To the left the River Ilen continued its slow march to the sea. It was a scene of tranquil beauty completely at odds with the nightmare so recently played out in Peter's head.
"Peter, are you OK? What was it, Bosnia, or the ship?" James asked.
Peter nodded, but said nothing. His breathing was returning to normal, and he held his head in his palms with his elbows on his knees. He looked up and rubbed his eyes, then looked at his two companions apologetically.
"Sorry about that. Too much too soon, I guess. I'll be fine in a minute. Do we have any water?" He took a long pull from a bottle Assumpta had brought. "I think I would like to have a short stroll. Try and walk it off."
He took a about a dozen tentative steps slowly towards the West, stood still with his hands on his hips, and craned his neck, looking straight up. He took a few deep breaths, took hold of Assumpta's shoulder and slowly walked back to the car. He rested his elbows on the roof and watched the traffic for a few minutes, collected his wits and said to James, "OK, I think I'm good to go now."
"I think you should ride in the back. No offense, but your thrashing almost drove us off the road. Assumpta, you better ride in front."
"I will not," she replied a little forcefully. "I can't help him if I'm in front."
"I don't want you to get hurt if he has another episode."
"Guys, I'm still here." Peter interjected, feeling a little left out of the conversation. "I'm fine. I will ride in the back, and I promise not to lash out at you, Assumpta if you ride in the back. I won't be offended if you ride in front either. James, I don't want to turn this into a Whitby. OK?"
"A Whitby?" asked Assumpta perplexed.
"Every year our family used to go on holiday to Whitby. We went by train a few times, but usually by car. Always had fights over who got to sit where. One time on the train we had a knock down drag-out fight that our father resolved by knocking Mr Bossy Pants here and our brother Andrew's heads together. Pretty drastic approach for a GP. Finally calmed them down, he said never again by train, and almost never again, full stop."
"What he's not telling you is that it happened just as we were leaving Middlesborough Station. Peter had been the instigator of the fracas, but Dad only caught Andy and myself, Peter saw what was about to happen, decamped to another seat and put on the innocent act. Dad gave him the best seat for the rest of the trip, and also for the trip home. Came to be known as the Middlesborough Manouever. Probably explains why he supports that team too."
This had been an easy going banter, and had actually helped drain some of the stress from the situation. Assumpta had a grin on her face and said, "That sort of thing won't fly with me, Clifford."
Peter just looked at his brother, sneered theatrically and said "thanks for that. No, really, thanks."
The rest of the trip back to the hospital passed without incident. Doctor Foley met them shortly after their return for a debriefing and an examination. He was concerned, naturally, about the nightmare incident, but in the end admitted that, although worrying, it was outside the purview of the hospital. Medically, there seemed to be little call to keep Peter in as a patient, and that he could probably be discharged the next day. However, he did not recommend any long journeys yet, and advised remaining in the Bantry area for a few days more.
"I'm sorry we can't keep you longer, but there just isn't any need for you to stay in hospital anymore, and we need the bed. I would like you to come back in on Friday to see me, and we'll assess your condition then. I'm sorry to turf you out like this, but your problem is that you're heathy. I strongly recommend you seek help in dealing with the emotional side of recovery. I could recommend someone local if that would help, but don't delay, in any case. Consider today's event a warning, you ignore it at your peril. Speaking of peril, I hear Sister Chlotilde coming, I must visit a patient in the other side of the hospital. See you tomorrow morning." On that note, he left…..in a hurry.
Doctor Foley's hearing was excellent. Moments after he left Peter's room, Sister Choltilde swept in like a cavalry charge. Peter was unceremoniously bundled into the bed, all the while being scolded and admonished for taking foolish liberties with his health, Doctor Foley's reputation, and the Irish Health System. "Rules!" she cried, "Where would we be without them!" She carried on the diatribe all the while she was tucking him into bed.
"Probably having a lot more fun," James said under his breath.
Sister Choltilde looked up and shot him a glare that would have curdled milk. For once the border collie got stared down by the mongoose. "If you're going to talk that way, young man, I will personally see you to the door at the end of visiting hours. I shall speak with Doctor at my first opportunity. Slackness that needs tightening up. And you, Father," she rounded on Peter, "You. A man of God!" She crossed herself. "This is the second time in as many days! What is the world coming to. I thought I'd never live to see the day."
And then she was gone, leaving Assumpta giggling quietly in the corner. "She could give Kathleen a run for her money." she opined.
"Wow. Is that show on every night?" James asked after Sister C had left. "Peter, I have to go back to London on Saturday, there are a number of things happening Monday that I have to get ready for. We can drive to Cork or Dublin after meeting with the doctor on Friday, and fly to Manchester, but I won't be able to stay."
"Or I could take him if you need to leave sooner." Assumpta ventured.
"That's very kind of you, Assumpta, but I'm fine with Saturday, unless Peter wants it differently."
"We'll talk about this tomorrow. Right now I'm tired and will take advantage of my last peaceful night in hospital. James, if you don't mind, I would like to speak with Assumpta privately now. I'll see you in the morning. Good night." And so James took his leave.
"I'm not really that tired, I just wanted to spend some time with just you for a while. I love my brother, but sometimes less is more."
"Peter, this nightmare, was that the first one, or have there been others? And what was that bit about Bosnia?"
"Aside from the first nightmare of the ship sinking? No. Since I've been on land, that was the only one. Bosnia? I haven't had one about Bosnia in months."
"Do you want to talk about what happened, either Bosnia or the ship? You scared both of us in the car today. It sounded like you were being tortured. It must have been horrible."
"Horrible doesn't even begin to cover it. The thing is that while it was happening, there was so much to do, and things were happening so fast that we were too busy to worry about what actually was happening. It was only after it was basically over that it hit me. I don't want to talk about the ship right now, and I don't think you really want to hear about it. Not something that anybody should have to endure. My only hope is that someone picked David up, but it doesn't sound like that is the case."
"What about my offer to drive you to Dublin so you can catch the ferry or a flight home?"
"I know what I would prefer, but I also know what I should do. If I went with you, I might never leave. I would much rather not go to Manchester at all. I would rather stay here in Ireland with you, but there are a number of things that have to be done, and the ones at the top of the list are all in England. I will call you as often as I can, you'll probably be sick of me before you know it. I don't know what will happen when I meet the Bishop, all I know is that I have to set myself on fire."
"Huh?"
"Old saying David used on me. Anyway, I'll see you in the morning. Can we spend some time together tomorrow, or do you have to go back to BallyK?"
"Niamh is watching the pub for me. I'll go back Saturday too, but I wouldn't have missed this for the world. I do love you, Peter Clifford, I know I shouldn't, but we're stuck with it. Make the best of it."
"And I love you, Assumpta. I know everything happens for a reason, and that we are not always privileged to know what that is, but I think I know why I survived when I should have died, and that is to be with you."
After Assumpta left for the evening, Peter examined his life of late. It clearly was in two distinctly different books. The events in each clearly transcended mere chapters in a single book. He began to almost see them as his own Old and New Testaments, but then that comparison got to be more than a little uncomfortable. Comparing his life to the Bible? That would never do. Some of the old ways die hard, some very hard. He wasn't looking for any more death, but a little bit of rebirth, maybe more like a regeneration (to borrow a concept from a TV show of his childhood.) Now that sounded OK to him.