Here is the new chapter, Kurt is narrator, I hope you enjoy!
"Oh, Mercedes, I am so sorry about that stupid LA trip, I don't have to go if you don't want me to." As much as I care about my wonderfully divalicious friend, there was no way on earth I wouldn't be going on this trip. Sure, my boyfriend, my lover, the one who knows about both, and the one who would have no probably telling everyone are going on this trip, which complicates things, but hello? LA! Besides, I know she'll just say don't even joke about that, Kurt, you have to go to LA.
"Don't even joke about that, Kurt, you have to go to LA. For the two of us." Am I good or what? It really sucks that Mercedes doesn't get to go with me, this is the trip of a lifetime, and we don't get to do it together. We were going to take the most touristy photos the world has ever seen at Grauman's Chinese Theatre at Judy Garland's hand prints, maybe stalk some celebrities, now, I have to do all that stuff with Sam. Or Finn, but how likely is it we'd actually leave the hotel room? "Oh my god, Kurt, look outside, this storm is going to flood this town!" Oh no, Carole. I forgot, come home after Glee, and here I was, in the mall with Mercedes. She was going to assume I had been brutally murdered by street thugs, chopped into tiny pieces, put in the fridge for a 3-5 day time span, than dispersed around local parks and lakes. What can I see, Carole watches too much A&E.
"Mercedes, I have to go, I just remember that Carole wanted me home as soon as Glee ended, I'll catch you soon though!"
"Sure thing, and congrats on LA!" As much as it sucks that my best friend can't come with me to Los Angeles, the fact that she is going to be OK talking about it with me is something that is definitely a silver lining.
"Carole, I'm so sorry, I fo-"
"Forgot! Forgot! I thought you had been murdered or something horrible had happened, here, get in, before you do die of hypothermia! So, how was your day sweetie?" I found it quite funny to watch the different faces of mother play out as she went through anger, concern, worry, and then nagging, all in the span of around 20 seconds.
"Well, great news, I'm going to LA, and so is Finn!"
"Oh my goodness, wow, that is just incredible, I can't believe Finn didn't tell me. Then again, you know Finn." I guess the silence was only awkward for me, but nobody said a word for about a minute as I got out of my Marc Jacobs raincoat and vintage boots.
"So, speaking of, where is Finn?" That was quite odd. Carole's face completely fell at the mention of her son into a position of a worry, and she put one arm around me, and pointed towards the basement.
"He's a little, uh, skittish in thunderstorms. Good luck." Wait, what, when did I say I wanted to even talk to him right now? Great, here I am, going into the basement to see Finn lying in the bed we had sex in last night, and I can't help but betray my boyfriend with thoughts of how much I want to be with Finn. Wait, Finn doesn't look like he wants to do anything, he looks like he's, uh, he's-
"Finn, are you crying?" The big teen was awkwardly sprawled across the white linen bed with his face plastered into a pillow, tears pouring and his chest heaving. I have no experience with things like this, heavy emotions and such, especially from Finn, who rarely shows anything but happy and confused, let alone bawling his eyes out. He's now throwing his head out of the pillow to look at me, wiping his eyes, and facing me.
"No, I'm just sleeping, this is how I sleep." If anyone else had said it, it would have been sarcasm, but with Finn, this was probably just the worst lie in the world. First, I watch him sleep, so I'd know if he stuck his head into his pillow like- you know what, pretend I didn't say that. My only real point is that the last time I saw him cry was quite odd.
"Finn, Finn, are you OK?" It was a hot summer night, and Kurt Hummel was holding himself tightly to Finn Hudson, both of which had made love earlier that evening and were now sharing the bed for the night. Finn's normally perfectly paced breathing was replaced with an erratic rhythm, his chest rising rapidly, but not falling, and his eyes spilling tears all over his face throughout his sleep, until he woke.
"My dad. He's dead." Kurt was breathless. He had never dealt with something like this before, comforting someone through pure, genuine sadness, and the fear in Finn's eyes was passionate and riveting. Finn, in consciousness, continued to cry, and Kurt just held him tighter. The soft tears changed into heavy sobs, and Finn just held on tighter as his entire body shook uncontrollably with the aftermath of a horrible nightmare of his father's death.
"Listen, Finn, don't be afraid, it's OK, your father has been dead for years, and it was tragic, but right now, you don't have to be scared, OK?" As much as Kurt was trying not to, he couldn't help but be a little frustrated with his words being covered up by Finn's load sobs, which just gained volume. "FINN!" The crying abruptly stopped, and Finn's totally red face turned to face Kurt.
"What?" Finn was now looking at Kurt with pure anger and sadness in his eyes, and even though Kurt had spent most of their semi-relationship looking out for himself, this was one of the moments were he surrendered his pride to his sensitive side and helped the boy who was hopelessly in love with him. With strength that came from a sense of urgency, Kurt lifted the boy onto his lap, stretched him across his stomach, and held him tightly there. "What are you do-"
"Shhhh" Finn went back to crying and Kurt just cursed inside his head, almost put the boy down, but then decided he wasn't going to just give in, so they lay there like that until Finn fell asleep totally peacefully, and Kurt knew that he wasn't going to have any nightmares. "I l-love you." He figured it didn't count because Finn was asleep and probably wouldn't remember it in the morning, so the rules didn't really apply right now. Besides, he meant it, he meant it so much, and if he would never get the chance to say it, he would regret it for the rest of his life.
"Finn, here, tell me what's wrong? Is it- is it your father?" I didn't want to upset Finn any further, so I figured the least amount he'd have to explain in words, the better. Finn just looked up through tear stained eyes, and nodded slightly. Suddenly, his entire body shook, and tears flowed down his face, and I didn't know what to do. I'm not naturally caring in that way, I don't know what he wants me to do. I can't just do nothing, though, so I'll just try holding him. I reached in, wrapped my arms around him tightly, and hung on tightly. Then, out of no where, I felt myself flung off his back, and hit the ground hard.
"What are you doing, Kurt? You love Sam, don't touch me, you don't want me, so don't do this out of pity." Oh, great, I understand he's upset, by why can't he realize how much I want him?
"Listen, Finn, this isn't out of pity, even if I'm not dating you, I'll always care about you, and I'm doing this because of that." I can't read what Finn's face means right now, because he is just staring blankly at me, then turned to face the wall. "Finn, what's wrong?"
"You love Sam, I'm making that hard for you, just, don't do this with me and just enjoy what you have with him." Oh my god, I've been so stupid, he's doing this for me? Doesn't he realize he may be doing the right thing, but I don't want the right thing, I want- well, I don't know what I want overall, but I know right now that I want Finn. So I didn't just walk out and listen to what he had to say, I stayed there for a couple second until- the lights went out. Finn's crying stopped, and I knew that wasn't a good thing, seeing as he was probably petrified.
"Here, don't be scared, your mom gave me all these candles and things, I can just light them right now." Crap, you have no idea how hard it is to light candles with a flimsy lighter, old candles, total darkness, and a sobbing affair lying in bed. Yes, got it! So, I put all of the candles around the room to create enough general light to move around freely.
"Thanks Kurt." I don't understand why Finn is so upset, but I think if he at least explained what was getting him so sad, he could get it off his chest. He had to tell somebody, but he wasn't going to open up just like that, he needed to feel like he could tell me. Wait, I know what I need to do.
"The last Halloween I had with my mom, she dressed up as a Victorian woman, she would say it was her idea, but that's a lie, it was mine, she just wanted to make me happy. She had this amazingly elaborate dress, powdered wig, classic heels, and this corset, this really cool corset that I helped her tie. Those were one of the last days she could walk around and she spent it in heels and a ridiculously tight corset, all to make me happy. That's why I wore that corset to school that one time, it was hers on that Halloween, one of the last memories we had together. The corset, however, broke, when I went involuntarily dumpster diving, the seams stretched out too far and ripped the whole thing down the middle. At first I wanted to scream, it was the last thing of my mother before she died, but really, it wasn't, it was her love. And that's what is still with me today, the fact I know she loved me, just like your dad loved you." Well, I thought my speech was superb and that Finn would like it, but he hasn't said a word in response, just stared out the window at the lightning splitting through the sky. I know what I'm doing next, and even though it's not ideal, it's become second nature in my crazy, messed up life.
"Lights out
Shoot up the station
TV's dead where's there to run
Watch everybody come undone"
This is totally necessary, even though Finn is staring at me right now as if I have gone totally insane. Well, I guess I may as well milk this oppurtunity and do a performance that pulls out all the stops.
"Lights out
We'll make it easy
We'll make it fun
Won't let them see now, how they had won
Still I wait another round"
Finn is now actively laughing at me as I pick up the small bedside lamp and use it as a mock microphone. I would be horribly embarassed by him laughing right now if I wasn't trying to comfort him, but that doesn't change the fact I kind of what to smash the thing into his head right now for making me do this.
"Darling
Don't got to worry you're locked in tight
Darling
Don't got to worry turn out the light."
Yes, he's actually smiling, not the reluctant laughter that breaks through his lips, but as I lay on top of him, a real smile lit up the room.
"Wiped out
No concentration
They got us basking in a storm
I watch it as it loses form."
Finn's smile turned into a wide expression of surprise as I whipped off my $275 sweater onto the ground, and began to unbutton my designer pants.
"Wiped out
They could see me; that's what I want."
Normally, this moment would be too wildly sexual to laugh about, but Finn and I are too high strung to not enjoy this moment to break loose and have some fun.
"A casualty, but I am upfront
And I know what it's about
Darling
Don't got to worry you're locked in tight
Darling
Don't got to worry turn out the light"
I don't care what he thinks I want, what he thinks I need, that's all just nonsense. I want him, I need him, and I've never felt anything like this in my life. He isn't making me choose, the choice is already made, even if we aren't ready to be public, there is no way I am spending another day without him. Now, we are in a passionate kiss, as he pulls me in tighter, and we make "like" in his bed, relishing every second with the only person I've ever loved.
"My father had a special tree where there was a picture of me with him. One day, when I sat by the tree, a lightning storm came and made me leave the tree, and later that night, the tree was struck by lightning and was destroyed." Finn and I looked into our eyes, knowing the relief we both felt at having our stories put into the air, so unlike the night before, we curled up in each others arms, relishing in each others touch, his warm, bare skin wrapped around me, making me feel safe until I finally fell asleep.
A few things. The song was Lights Out by Santigold, there are around 1000 meanings to the song, one of them is about the power going out, so try not to say something about how I got it wrong if you do know the song. Another thing is I read the last line by Finn, I thought Finn wasn't going to tell him every second of the story like I did last chapter, but it does sound like a got lazy and threw it together, so just take my word for it. Yep, feedback is super appreciated, you guys are amazing, especially those who review, favourite, and alert, but even reading more story is cool! I hope you are still enjoying it, Kinn fans definitely are going to enjoy this a lot more now that their short break up is finito. Until next time!