Chapter 14 – Apologies

Zoe woke up to her radio playing. She lay in bed listening to the song being played, she knew today was going to be hard because she didn't know if Max or Tess would even talk to her. There's nothing I wouldn't do, To have just one more chance, To look into your eyes and see you looking back. I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do and I've hurt myself by hurting you. Zoe got up, turned the radio off and began to cry before walking into her bathroom. Dylan was already up and could hear Zoe crying in the other room. He hated it but he couldn't do anything about it, she was the only one who could sort this.

Max was outside smoking when he saw Zoe arrive on her own. He didn't know whether he wanted to be next to her or on the other side of the world away from her. He couldn't stand the sight of her, yet he couldn't bring himself to look away. Max was torn after everything Zoe said to him the other day and he didn't know if they would be able to move past it together. He put out his cigarette and headed back inside. Zoe saw him and got out of the car to speak to him, but he turned and left before she had the chance. She didn't realise how much she had hurt Max with what she said to him yesterday, it was only now she saw how hard it was going to be to apologise.

Zoe walked in and could see Tess so she walked over "Tess-" "I'm busy working right now so can't stop." Zoe followed Tess "I just wanted to-" "Zoe you said yourself, people need to work around here. If you want to talk you should have thought about that yesterday." Zoe stopped where she was and watched Tess walk away. Zoe walked off to her office and stayed there most the day. It was almost 3 in the afternoon and she couldn't sit in the same room for any longer. She needed to talk to someone about everything that had happened, because she wasn't coping anymore. She left her office to treat a few patients, before Dylan walked around the corner and saw Zoe stood at the nurse's station signing some paperwork looking very lost and vulnerable. "Zoe. Staffroom now." Dylan said as he walked past her and towards the staffroom.

She finished what she was doing and followed Dylan. He shut the door behind her and before she knew what she was doing started crying into his shoulder. Dylan just put one arm around her letting her get it out. They sat down on the sofa with a drink Dylan made. Zoe was quiet at first before she started to open up about how she felt. "It was my fault." Dylan looked at her "What? How could you say that." "It was, I didn't listen to anybody. Max was right I was too selfish to realise what I was doing to other people." Zoe moved her hand to her stomach and a tear fell down her cheek. "Zoe, things happen and this is one of those things. You couldn't have stopped it and you need to stop thinking you could have." They sat there for a bit longer talking about everything that had happened. Dylan stood up "I'm going to find Tess. You two need to talk." Before Zoe could stop him he had left the room.

After a few minutes Tess walked in after Dylan "Why am I in here Dylan? Oh" she said as she saw Zoe sat down crying still on the sofa. "Zoe?" she moved over to where she was and sat down. Dylan left the room and shut the door on them. "Tess I am so sorry for what I said to you. I was wrong and I had no right saying what I did." Tess took a deep breath "Zoe, you were stressed, in denial and blaming yourself-" Zoe stopped her "That doesn't mean I should have said what I did to you. You were there for me, trying to help and I did nothing but throw it in your face." Tess hugged Zoe as she had begun crying again. "Look, I forgive you. Just please promise me you'll stop blaming yourself and try moving on. I know it will be hard, I've had to do things pretty similar but you've got people who love you supporting you. Don't shut us out." Zoe nodded her head and they talked a little while longer.

Zoe was starting to come to terms with everything but Max was still ignoring her. He wouldn't answer his phone, respond to her texts and every time she saw him he walked away. When she was going home he was outside the hospital "Max, can I talk to you?" "What so you can carry on where you finished last time? I don't need to listen to it Zoe, I'm going through this too and I can't cope with you being the way you are." He turned to walk back into the hospital and ignored Zoe saying his name. Dylan had witnessed the whole thing but pretended he hadn't as he walked over to Zoe's car to go home. Zoe drove home in silence and when she went inside she went straight to bed. Dylan sat up and heard Zoe sniffling, it was becoming an all too often occurrence which he couldn't bear to hear. He headed to bed and decided if they didn't sort it out themselves in the morning, he would.

The next afternoon

Zoe had been at the hospital for a few hours and had seen Max several times but not tried to talk to him, or even look at him. Dylan had noticed this a few times but not pointed it out. "Max, can I have a word please?" Dylan walked past him and went outside. "What is it?" Max didn't really sound too concerned "Do you have any feelings for her at all? Do you even care? I know she was horrible, but she has tried sorting it." "Of course I care about her, but what she said isn't going to disappear with a little chat." Dylan looked at Max not saying anything. "Zoe didn't think she could ever have children, imagine losing one when you have been told you'd never get the chance to have one." Dylan turned to walk inside "You might think she doesn't care, but you're wrong. A normal woman doesn't go home and cry herself to sleep every night because she doesn't care." He walked inside leaving Max outside.

Zoe had been rushed off her feet all day, and to any regular person she was back to normal. Dylan and Tess knew it wasn't true or genuine but they allowed her to carry on as she was. Max had tried walking over to Zoe "Hey" she didn't answer but carried on with what she was doing. "Look Zoe, I think we should ta-" "I can't right now, I've got patients queuing out of the doors and Connie's already on my case." She walked away from Max feeling awful but she couldn't do that now. He gave up, Dylan said she cared but that's not what he saw.

Zoe saw Tess before the end of her shift in her office. "Zoe, have you spoken to Max yet? You guys need t sort things out, it's painful for us to see you both so distant from everyone." Zoe carried on picking her stuff up pretending she hadn't heard "I think I've done everything Connie wanted, but I'm sure she'll find something to complain about." Tess just stood there "Zoe." She looked at Tess and she looked weak "I can't do it. I just can't Tess…" Zoe left her office before she started crying. Dylan was already outside "Everything alright?" "Yeah fine why wouldn't it be?" Zoe brushed it off and calmed down so that they could just drive home.

Zoe was lying up on the sofa when Dylan had had enough of this. He got up and went down to his bedroom and got on the phone. "It's Dylan. If you don't come down here now, you will lose her. I can't sit and watch her like this anymore, so either you sort this or you say goodbye to her." He hung up the phone and went to sit back with Zoe.

Max had just sat down at home when his phone started ringing. He checked the id and it wasn't Zoe so he answered it "Hello?" That's all Max could say because as soon as the person on the other end finished talking they hung up. Max let Dylan's words sink. 'What the hell am I doing?' he thought to himself before getting up and grabbing his coat. "Max where are you going?" Robyn shouted but he was already out the door.

Max was desperate to see Zoe, he didn't realise how much until Dylan had said he could lose her. He ran to the boat house wanting to get there as soon as he could. Zoe was still lying down with Dylan sat the other end until he noticed someone outside. He got up without Zoe noticing and went outside. "Is she still here?" Max was out of breath, Dylan could tell what he said meant something. "She's inside on the couch, I'll go to bed and leave you two to talk." He walked back inside followed by Max.

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