First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews and for re-assuring me that it's OK to go slow. Now I have to ask you to have faith in me, because this story will have twists and turns and we're about to go around a bend.

Here's a caveat on this chapter – I'm not sure if it works or if it's too much. I need you, the readers, to let me know. If people like it, I will leave it as is. If people don't like it (or don't say anything) I'll assume a re-write is in order and I'll tone it down. So with this chapter it's more important than ever that you leave a review, either way.

And I should say even if I re-write the chapter, it will only impact how things are said, not what is said. The direction of the story will not change. Just know that this story is not even near the middle, much less the end.

All the Twilight characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter 14:

I woke up Monday morning with the earpiece still in my ear.

"Jasper," I said, a bit groggy.

"Good morning, Bella." He was still there! "Did you sleep well?"

"Mmm," I said and stretched. "That lullaby was gorgeous, Jasper. I didn't know you were so talented. Thank you!"

"Can't take credit for the song – I borrowed it from Concrete Blonde – but I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"It was amazing. You'll have to sing if to me again!"

He laughed a low, throaty laugh. "As you wish, darlin'. As you wish."

"So, what did you do while I was sleeping?" I asked curiously.

"Not much. Mostly I drove and listened."

He was driving. That means he was already gone. My heart sank a little.

"Where are you going?"

"Northern Canada. I thought I'd scare up some Lynx."

Northern Canada. It sounded so far away.

"Are you meeting anyone there?" I asked hesitantly. I wondered if any of the Cullens were going to join him on the hunt. Okay, if I had to be completely honest with myself, I really wondered if Alice was going to join him on the hunt. This sudden realization, and the accompanying anxiety, surprised me. I had to admit I was scared. If he met with Alice, maybe he wouldn't come back. Nervously, I waited for his response.

"No." His reply was curt, inviting no follow-up. I felt relief, then guilt for feeling relieved. Were my feelings for Jasper starting to cross the line? We hadn't done anything inappropriate, hadn't really said anything inappropriate, hadn't really thought – well, best to keep my thoughts out of this. But still. We were just friends.

"Okay, well, I'd better get ready for school. Good luck today. I'll call you tonight."

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Remember what I told you when I gave you this number? You can call me any time. If you need me or you just want to talk, call me."

"What if you're about to snag a Lynx and the phone rings?"

"Bella," he sighed, "You are more important than hunting. Besides, I set both of our phones on the vibrate setting, so if they go off we can feel it and no one else needs to know. So if you need me, call me, anytime," he stressed.

"Okay," I relented. "If I need you I'll call, but most likely I'll talk to you tonight."

"Have a good day, Bella."

"You too."

Charlie was already gone, so I got ready for school quickly and grabbed a fast breakfast. I wasn't looking forward to this week at all. I faced three lonely days of school and work. Worse, after the movie disaster, I would have to be extra vigilant to avoid being trapped alone with Mike and I would have to stop daydreaming so I didn't accidentally agree to do more stupid stuff.

As I opened the door to my truck, I noticed a package resting on the floor near the pedals. It was a plain paper bag. Curious, I picked it up and looked inside. It held a portable DVD player, the 1st disc of Firefly and some of my favorite chips and soda. I smiled and quickly unfolded the enclosed note.

"Just in case you want to watch these again to catch the moments you missed while looking at me."

The note wasn't signed. I ran my fingers over the neat printing before folding the note and tucking it into my wallet. I went back to hide the bag in my bedroom, then returned to the truck and left for school.

Once again I relied on Angela and Ben to serve as shields against being cornered by Mike. At lunch, I begged off eating with the group, using my unfinished Spanish essay as an excuse. I did my best not to get all day-dreamy about Jasper, but I slipped up once or twice. Fortunately, I didn't seem to have missed out on anything important.

After school I worked at the store. Luckily it was Mike's day off, so I didn't have to worry about any uncomfortable run-ins. I overheard him planning to watch Monday Night Football with Tyler and Eric, so I didn't even have to worry about him stopping by.

When my shift was over I went home and had dinner. Charlie was watching football. I went upstairs and finished my homework first, then settled in on the bed and turned on the DVD player. Just watching the show made me feel closer to Jasper and I was also glad for the distraction, which helped time go by until it was time to call him again.

I knew Charlie would be staying up late because of the game, so I didn't wait for him to come upstairs before I got ready for bed and turned off my lights. I would have to be careful, listening for him coming up the stairs to make sure he didn't overhear my conversation, but I couldn't let this little roadblock stop me from calling Jasper. I tucked myself under my quilt and pressed the 1 key.

"Bella," his voice was soft, feathery, like a caress. I closed my eyes and felt warmth spread all through my body. He had been right last night. Hearing his voice made it feel like he was right here beside me.

" Jasper," my voice was equally soft, though not nearly as melodic as his. In my head I visualized his perfect, handsome face.

"Did you like your surprise?" He asked.

"Very much," I whispered. "I watched some of it tonight. It reminded me of you."

He laughed.

"That's just what I hoped when I left it for you. What else did you do today?"

He wanted to hear about my day and wouldn't let me gloss over anything, so I described it all in minute detail, including the two hikers who came into the store with a tall tale about a large animal, probably a bear, that they had seen while hiking on the reservation, but that did not bother them or their foolishly unprotected food supply. I explained how skillfully Mr. Newton used their story against them by convincing them to purchase bare-safe food storage. As I spoke, I heard Charlie come upstairs, get ready for bed and disappear into his bedroom. I breathed a silent sigh of relief, knowing that I was now able to fully concentrate on the conversation, without any distractions.

Jasper laughed at the bear story, but then became serious.

"Do me a favor, Bella, and stay away from the woods, just in case. The hikers were probably making the whole thing up, but if by some miracle a bear was anywhere near Forks, with your bad luck he would head straight for you. Best to keep yourself out of possible harm's way."

"Geeze, Jasper, paranoid much?" I giggled quietly.

"Only when it comes to your safety," he admitted, "and with good reason, at least based on past experience."

"Well, it's not like I have time to go hiking while you're gone, but if something changes I promise I'll ask Jake to go with me – he's large enough to scare any bear."

Jasper was silent. What did I say now? Was he really this worried about me and the imaginary bear? I sighed.

"I promise, Jasper, no hiking. Like I said, I don't have time. And as clumsy as I am, I don't go hiking even when I do have time. So don't worry, okay?"

"Okay," there was something different about his voice. Something I couldn't identify. There was a barrier between us now that wasn't there earlier. It was time to change the subject.

"Speaking of hiking, it's your turn to tell me about your day."

He remained silent for a moment, almost as if he were trying to get himself back into the right frame of mind. Then he started speaking, his rich voice wrapping comfortably around me. He told me about his drive up and his hunt for Lynx. He described the landscape in a way that made me feel as thought I'd taken the trip with him.

Unexpectedly, I realized that I wished I had taken the trip with him. I wanted to spend time with him in a place that was away from the familiar, free from memories and expectations and obligations. A place where we could say anything to each other.

"I wish I could be there with you." Did I really just verbalize my thoughts like that? My face burned with embarrassment. Would he understand what I'd been thinking? "I mean, it sounds so lovely," I quickly added to cover up my slip.

"I wish you could be here too," he said softly. And then softer still, so I could hardly even hear it, he added "nothing here is as lovely as you."

My breathing stopped; my heart stopped; everything in the world came to a crashing halt. Could I possibly have heard him right? No. I must have imagined the whole thing.

Silence stretched between us and there were no safe topics of conversation left.

"I miss you," I whispered.

"I know, darlin'. I miss you too."

"I think if you had been here today, I would have found a way to see you, even if just for a few minutes."

"I have no doubt we would have found a way."

"Do you ever wish. . . ?"

"You know I do."

"I do too."

It was strange having this conversation without any real words, yet fully understanding the meaning. It was like a secret pact – as long as we didn't say it out loud, as long as there were no verbal acknowledgements, we could pretend it wasn't really happening.

More silence followed, and then Jasper started signing softly

I'd like to meet you

In a timeless

Placeless place

Somewhere out of context

And beyond all consequences

If language were liquid

It would be rushing in

Instead here we are

In a silence more eloquent

Than any word could ever be

My breath caught again. He had taken thoughts from my head and put them to music.

"How do you do it, Jasper?" I asked in amazement.

"How do I do what, darlin'?"

"How do you know just the perfect song?"

I could hear him smile in response. "I've listened to a lot of music and I have perfect recall."

"Oh," when he put it like that, it sounded almost routine.

"And I've had a lot of time lately to listen to music that makes me think of you and the way you make me feel."

"How do I make you feel?" I asked tentatively. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to answer. We were treading on dangerous ground. I should have known he'd respond with another song, a song I recognized and knew well.

The world was on fire, no one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
No, I don't want to fall in love
No, I don't want to fall in love
With you

He broke the song off, the absence of his voice startling. I understood perfectly. It wasn't just me. He had felt it too. We were both trying to resist, because there were too many people who would be devastated if we gave in.

"Bella, what are you thinking?" He asked, his voice betraying just a slight hint of anxiety. Belatedly, I realized that I hadn't reacted to the song. I needed to reassure him but I couldn't speak, so I responded by singing the next verse.

What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
And I don't wanna fall in love
No I don't want to fall in love
With you

I stopped singing, listening to more silence between us. My heart ached.

"Bella, I never . . ." he finally said, letting the rest of the sentence hang. I didn't need to hear the end.

"I know, Jasper. Neither did I."

He sighed heavily. "What are we going to do?"

I sighed too. "We'll spend a little more time together as good friends, until your training is over and you go back."

"Darlin', you don't know how much I wish things were different."

"Actually, Jasper, I think I do. I think I know exactly. But we can't do anything about it, so we have to let it go. Things are what they are – it's not within our control." Two tears slipped out of the corners of my eyes, but I refused to give in and let more of them escape.

"I know," his voice was full of resignation. "I've kept you up too late with this drivel. You need to get some rest. Goodnight, sweet Bella."

"Just one more thing, Jasper."

"Yes?"

"Will you sing me my lullaby?"

And he began to sing once more.

Now that you're finished, I have to confess that this conversation – a late night call with a guy who wanted to profess his love but could only do it through songs – actually happened to me. So I'm really imposing stories from my own life on poor, unsuspecting Jasper. In many ways I'm a hopeless romantic, so the whole love through song worked for me. But I really am worried that I may have laid it on a bit too thick here, so you have to let me know – do I leave it or do I make it less sing-songy?

For those interested, the first song is called Language, by Susanne Vega, from the album Solitude Standing. I took some liberties with the lyrics, moving verses around to better suit the story.

The second song is Wicked Game by Chris Isaac, from the album Heart Shaped World.

Review, please, with feedback (if you don't think the chapter works but don't want to leave a negative review, feel free to PM me)! Thanks in advance.