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"Well, we can't know for sure when or if they'll come," I said, "but for now, we can find ways to give them time."
I grinned as I picked the car keys up from the ground where I had put them. I was poised and ready to throw them over the side of the mountain.
"Nothrow," Sunny said. By this she meant, "Don't throw them over the mountain or we'll never get out of here."
"But if we don't get rid of them," I said, "then Olaf might take us away from here. What if Violet and Klaus did survive? We can't leave them here."
"Drene," Sunny said, which was her way of saying "But we won't have any way to get out of here and survive."
I sighed. "I guess you're right," I said, "though it really would have been funny to see the look on their faces…" I frowned to myself.
We finished setting up the tents in silence. All I kept thinking about was how in the world I was going to get Sunny and I out of Olaf's clutches. I knew now that Violet and Klaus probably died that it was my job to take care of Sunny. It worried me that I might not be able to do even that. This mountain was so difficult to escape without dying out in the wild. I had to do what was best for Sunny and at the moment, the most we could do was hope for an opportunity.
But what if that opportunity never came? I always found ways to escape before, but it had been easier when Olaf was busy scheming to get the Baudelaires. Now his scheming days were over. Well, at least for the Baudelaires. He'd probably keep us locked in cages again or separate us so there would be no chance of even thinking about escaping. What if he brought us to that deserted island the way he promised when the Quagmires were still in his clutches? How would we escape from him while trapped in the middle of an ocean?
Thinking about it made it much more difficult to build the tent as my fingers trembled uncontrollably with fear. I tried to hide it from Sunny, telling myself that letting her know how terrified I was may upset her. Sunny needed someone to give her hope after all the terrible things that have happened. I needed to reassure her that she was safe.
We finished setting up two tents and then, unloaded the luggage from the trunk. We went back to the car to explain that the chore had been done.
"That took a long time," Olaf said, "let's get out and get some rest."
I picked up Sunny as his troupe piled out of the car and moved off to the tent reserved for them. Olaf stomped over to me with Esmé at his side.
"You're going to sleep in that tent," Olaf ordered gesturing to the tent that his troupe was entering. "Hooky swore he'd keep an eye on you. My associates will take care of the buck tooth."
"That won't be necessary," I said, tightening my hold on Sunny. "I'll do it. In fact, I'm going to stay outside with Sunny. I sleep wherever she sleeps."
"No you won't," Olaf growled. "You'll sleep wherever I tell you to sleep. You," he said to the one of the white-faced woman, "grab the baby brat and put her in the casserole dish. Hooky, why don't you take Blondie in the tent with you."
"Fine," I said, "I won't sleep outside, just let me put Sunny to bed."
But the white-faced woman snatched Sunny out of my grasp and then the hook-handed man was pushing me towards the tent.
"Meanwhile," Olaf added as I was ushered away. "I'll enjoy reading more of your stupid notebook." He smiled nastily and went inside his tent along with Esmé.
I glowered at the snow beneath my feet. I was mostly afraid of what would happen when he found out about Monty Kensicle and my secret ladder. That may be my only way of escaping and now that would be ruined.
The hook-handed man shoved me inside. The flap of the tent closed behind me and all that was inside the tent were a few sleeping bags and some of the luggage including my own bag.
"Now I don't want any funny business from you," he said, "you're staying in here."
I sighed. "Well, I guess I'll sleep now."
I curled up on the floor of the tent as the rest of Olaf's troupe entered. Now I was trapped with these horrible people who all had terrible hygiene.
I didn't bother trying to sleep. I knew if I tried, all I would be thinking about was Violet and Klaus. Oh, Klaus. I couldn't keep denying it. I knew that no matter how much I tried to convince myself, they weren't coming back. I found myself burst into sobs again. Knowing I had failed my best friend.
"I'm sorry, Klaus," I whispered through my sobs as if he could hear me, "I'm so sorry…"
After a while, the troupe was fast asleep, their loud snores making it even harder to sleep. I sat up and found my bag. I opened it, spilling out some of its contents. The owl was one of them and I felt that it was safe enough to bring it out without anyone seeing. I examined the figurine, which was still a lot heavier than it looked. I brought it to my ear and shook it. Something jostled inside the owl. Inside it? What could there possibly be hidden inside the figurine? The inside maybe hollow, but the owl itself didn't look nearly big enough to hold much. What was most intriguing was the owl's eyes. One of its eyes was golden while the other was midnight black. That was the only real difference between the appearance of this figurine and Spirit, except for the obvious difference, of course.
I turned the owl over, looking for some way to open it. But there was nothing but the carving of an eye at the bottom. I knew what that eye meant as it was V.F.D.'s insignia. Though I couldn't decide whether it meant good or bad. I sighed and tossed the owl back inside my bag. It landed with a thud beside a very familiar blue flower. It must have fallen out of my notebook and got lost in my bag. I was glad. I didn't like to think of Olaf having the flower Jacques Snicket gave me before he…
I cleared my head before those horrible memories could enter my mind again added with fresh memories of the bald associate. I never wanted to witness death like that again.
I picked up the tiny blue flower Jacques had called a Plumbago flower. It was long dead by now. The color was beginning to fade to brown and the flower had shriveled up. Dead. Just like my parents, just like Jacques Snicket, just like the bald associate, and just like Violet and Klaus.
I felt tears fill my eyes again and I stood up. Being careful not to wake anyone, I tiptoed out of the tent into the cold night. I held the flower in my hand and brushed my tears away with my free hand.
I saw the casserole dish where Sunny was probably trying to get some sleep. So I came quietly, not wanting to disturb her.
However, Sunny must have heard me because she poked her tiny head out of her 'bed', startled. She relaxed when she saw it was me and looked at me questioningly.
I sighed and sat down on a flat rock that was near her. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you," I said, "I just can't be alone right now. I especially don't feel right about leaving you alone out here. Go ahead and sleep if you want. I'll just watch the stars or something. I don't think I could sleep even if I tried."
I looked up at the stars that were still glowing brightly.
Sunny didn't look happy about it, but she went back inside her casserole dish and tried to sleep.
I tried to make myself comfortable and lay down against rough, dry surface of the rock.
Not that I would be sleeping. I couldn't sleep while Sunny was in danger. I couldn't sleep while Violet and Klaus were…I took a deep shaky breath and tried to will myself not to burst into tears again.
"Haluda?" Sunny said, peeking out of the lid of the casserole dish at me. I tried to hide my tears. Sunny seemed to be handling this with a lot more courage than I. I couldn't let Sunny see me cry like this. I didn't want to disappoint her too, since all I seemed to be capable of was crying and being helpless. By 'haluda', I think Sunny meant, "Are you okay?"
"No," I admitted.
After a moment, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned in surprise to see that Sunny was there. She sat down beside me and gently rubbed my arm.
I quickly tried to wipe my tears away again. I sat up and put my arm around Sunny. It really did make me feel a little better.
"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I said, when Sunny was silent, "I just…it hurts."
"Gerod," Sunny said, softly, which meant, "I miss them too." She sat down beside me. We were perched near the frozen waterfall. I glanced at Sunny and could see a tear rolling down her cheek.
"There's something I have to tell you," I said quietly. I could feel tears beginning to form once more as I prepared to admit to the truth. "It's my fault that Violet and Klaus…may have perished."
Sunny frowned. "Solfu," Sunny said meaning, "It's not your fault. Olaf ordered his troupe to cut the rope and separate us."
I shook my head and let it fall into my hands, feeling utterly ashamed.
"It is my fault," I sobbed, "Olaf…he found my notebook. You saw he had it in the car. Well, the night Esmé and I came to the freak caravan, Olaf found my notebook and read some of it. He found out that you and your siblings were in disguise because I was so careless! Not just because Madame Lulu told him. And then, Esmé convinced me that in order to save your life I would have to follow through with her plan to push Madame Lulu into the lion pit. That's why I was standing so close to the edge. I was about to push her in when Olaf made that announcement that made the crowd go wild. But none of that worked because Olaf still got away with hurting them anyways. Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm a terrible, terrible person!" I continued to sob.
It was a moment before Sunny spoke.
"No cry," she said softly, patting my hand. By that she meant, "You're not at fault. It was a mistake and even though you almost did a terrible thing, you did it to save us. I haven't always done the right thing either."
"But I was planning on murdering someone," I cried, "the worst you or your siblings have done is steal and I was usually apart of it. I nearly killed someone."
"Wedal," Sunny said which probably meant, "We all make mistakes. Besides, I don't think my siblings perished."
I looked up at Sunny.
"How can you be so sure?" I asked.
"Lopi," Sunny said. I think she meant, "I can't be sure. But they're my siblings. My family. And I trust that they're coming for me and for you as well. They've never abandoned me before."
I stared at Sunny, speechless. I couldn't believe how grown up she sounded.
"If your siblings are really…dead…then it's my job to take care of you now. I can't let Olaf get your fortune or anything. I have to protect you."
"Ofesel," Sunny said, gently. She meant something along the lines of "I know you feel that way. But I can take care of myself. I'm not a baby."
I glanced at Sunny and couldn't help smile. Seeing her standing beside me, talking with such maturity brought tears to my eyes. She was right. She had grown up from the tiny baby she used to be. Now she could walk and was beginning to discover new interests besides biting things. It made me happy and sad at the same time because these terrible things had forced Sunny to grow so quickly. I knew how she felt. Both of us had lost our parents at a very young age. I didn't like to say it out loud or even think about it, but sometimes I was a little jealous of Violet and Klaus. Only because they got to spend so much time with their parents. I knew I shouldn't think that way because they too had suffered from their loss. I just wish that I had more memories of my parents. The only memories I had were of that day on the dock with that lily pad and a vague, dream-like memory of that fire.
"You're right Sunny," I said, "you're not a baby. You're a young girl now. Nevertheless, I won't let Olaf hurt you."
"Joru," Sunny said, which meant, "What about you? I don't want you to get hurt while trying to protect me."
"Don't worry, Sunny," I said, gently, trying to sound confident. Like Violet always was. "I'll find a way to get you out of Olaf's clutches and try not to get hurt, I promise. There's not really any place to go at the moment, but Olaf has to take us back to his house at some point. Then, I can help you get away."
"You too," Sunny said, meaning, "If I'm going to escape then, you will too."
I nodded, though I couldn't make any promises. Then, something occurred to me.
"I know you've wanted to know for a while now," I said, "so I guess I better tell you now before something gets in the way."
"Whatit?" Sunny said meaning, "What's that?"
"What V.F.D. stands for," I said, "I've known for quite awhile though it seems everytime I've tried to tell you, something got in the way. Even though Violet and Klaus may not be around to hear it, I think you should know. It stands for Volunteer Fire Department."
Sunny's eyes widened. "Fira?" she asked meaning, "You mean like firefighters?"
"Yes, exactly," I said, "it's basically a secret organization that is dedicated to putting out fires and bringing justice. As you already know, Olaf was once a member meaning he was probably a good person for a time believe it or not. I wonder what changed. How does someone go from being good to stealing fortunes, doing arson, and plotting terrible schemes to hurt innocent people?"
We were both silent as none of us could think of an answer to my question. Just like all the other mysteries surrounding us, this one made me so dizzy. However, for a moment I thought I did know the answer. After all, I nearly ended someone's life in order to save another. I had taken in part in stealing those keys to the Library of Records to find out about the Baudelaire file. It was frightening to think about all of the horrible crimes I've committed.
I opened my hand that still held the blue flower and was suddenly surprised to find that the brown, dry flower was now as blue as the sky in the daytime.
"Floar?" Sunny asked when she saw it.
"Oh, it's just this flower that Jacques Snicket gave me before…" I said trailing off. Sunny seemed to understand though because she nodded sadly.
"Malica?" she asked. I suppose she meant, "How did you make it do that?"
I glanced at Sunny with wide eyes. I forgot she didn't already know about my abilities. I guess it was about time she did. Klaus might not be around anymore and it was easier when I had someone to talk to about it. Now that Klaus might be…dead, I'll probably be the only one with strange powers. That strange woman had said there were others but none of them were my best friend.
"There's something else I have to tell you," I said, "you see, when I was living with Mr. Poe, he didn't take me straight to Uncle Monty's to live there. I was going to have Count Olaf as my guardian. However, during the car ride, I had this strange feeling which was probably a warning that Count Olaf was a terrible person. Anyways, we reached his house and Mr. Poe walked on in front of me. the horrible feeling kept getting worse and when the front door opened, all of the sudden, everything went black. I woke up to find myself in a strange passageway underneath Uncle Monty's home. It was like the one at 667 Dark Avenue. That's how Uncle Monty found me." I sighed. "I'm sorry for not telling you before. Only Klaus knows. I have strange abilities that allow me to do strange things like make objects move without touching them. I didn't say anything earlier because I didn't want you or Violet to think I was crazy. Klaus has them too so we decided to keep it a secret between us. And well, now, he may not be alive anymore for us to discover what they mean together. So I guess it's best that you know now."
"Melana?" Sunny said meaning, "Is that how you turn those mean girls' hair different colors?"
I giggled as I remembered how Kate and Christina's hair had turned fire engine red and blue after they humiliated me in front of the entire school at the New York Boarding School. "Yes," I said, "that's how my own hair grew back I think. A lot of strange things have happened. And now I've figured out that I can sort of control my abilities. Klaus and I called them Matilda powers because we could move things without touching them. Watch this." I stared at the blue flower in my palm in deep concentration.
After a moment, the flower rose out of my hand and I willed it to float up a little above our heads. Sunny watched in amazement. I brought it down again and caught it with my hands.
"Cool, huh?" I said.
Sunny nodded in agreement and then, yawned.
"Why don't you go back to sleep," I said, "I can't sleep so I'm just going to stay out here for a bit. But you need sleep, you look tired."
Sunny opened her mouth and I knew she was about to protest when she yawned again. I laughed. "You can't fool me," I said, "you need to get some sleep okay?"
Sunny looked reluctant but she sighed and went back inside her casserole dish bed.
"If you want," I added, "I'll sing a song to help you sleep."
Sunny poked her head out again and smiled in what I assumed was agreement. So I thought of a song and began to sing it. It was soft and more about Klaus than anyone else:
"Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love
I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come
I have to go
I have to go
I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know
Always know
Always know that I love you so
I love you so
I love you so, oh
Goodbye brown eyes
Goodbye for now
Goodbye sunshine
Take care of yourself
I have to go
I have to go
I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know
Always know
Always know that I love you so
I love you so, oh
I love you so, oh
La lullaby
Distract me with your rhymes
La lullaby
La lullaby
Help me sleep tonight
La lullaby
(La lullaby, la lullaby)
I have to go (goodbye)
I have to go (lullaby)
I have to go (goodbye)
And leave you alone
But always know (goodbye)
Always know (brown eyes)
Always know (goodbye)
That I love you so
I love you so (goodbye lullaby)
I love you so, oh (goodbye)
I love you so (goodbye brown eyes)
I love you so (goodbye)
I love you so
I love you so
Goodbye brown eyes
Goodbye my love."
I checked the casserole dish and was surprised to see Sunny was sleeping soundly. Now that I was alone, I continued to gaze up at the bright stars and thought about the conversation Sunny and I had had just now. I thought about Violet and Klaus. How I felt so alone now that I might have to live with these strange abilities without anyone to share them with.
I wished Klaus were here right now. And I didn't just want to see Klaus again because I had a crush on him. I missed my best friend too. I didn't realize how much I loved having a best friend until now. Carmelita always intimidated anyone who even tried to talk to me. I liked to have someone to share secrets with and reading was never the same without Klaus there. Never again could I read another book without shedding a tear.
I looked down at the blue flower in my hand; it was still fresh and breathing with life. Maybe Sunny was right. Perhaps I needed to have more faith in Violet and Klaus. I had to trust that they were coming. Afterall, they've never abandoned me before. Even if it weren't true. Even if they had died. I had to try and have faith that things would be okay. If I had to wait for a little bit for them to come save us, then so be it. I would wait. They will come. In the meantime, I would do whatever I could to protect Sunny.
I laid back down on the rock and continued to gaze at the stars above. I imagined that Klaus was now looking up at those same stars and that soothed me enough so that I eventually did doze off. It was a light doze. Dreamless.
The song was Goodbye (Lullaby Version) by Avril Lavigne.
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