Chapter 14: H2O2
"Noooo…" Lorelai buried her head under a pillow.
"You have to get up! It's my last day here!" Rory gave up poking her mother and simply crawled on top of her back.
"GAH!" Lorelai rolled over, dumping Rory over to the other side of the bed. Rory moved the pillow under her head as she settled into her new spot. Catching a scent she could only determine was Luke's shampoo, she immediately hopped off the bed as if she'd been stung. Lorelai used the one eye that would open to shoot her daughter a strange look, "What, you'll lay on me, but not on a bed?"
"That's… Luke's side. That's… weird."
Lorelai successfully forced her other eye open for the sole purpose of being able to properly roll her eyes at Rory. "Please. Nothing has happened in here since you've been here other than sleeping and talking."
"Well, of course. Nothing's gonna happen when you bring Ren and Stimpy to bed with you," Rory motioned to her mother's pajamas.
"You're just jealous because I actually managed to find Ren and Stimpy pajamas."
"I am, actually. If you can't find them next week, you know where they went. Speaking of clothes, I really need to switch out some of mine while I'm here. Now that I've been out there for a few months, I kinda got the hang of this, and there's a better method for combining outfits I need to take advantage of. This requires shopping, though, which I'm sure you'll be happy to assist me with today. Oh, and April's at Luke's, his note said, um," Rory reached into her pocket and fished for the post-it, "'Coffee in maker. Pancakes in foil by stove. Lunch at diner? Something something April something... death?' That can't be right. Death? Maybe dearth?"
Lorelai yawned, "Probably death. Gotta be about the horse ride."
Rory shook her head, "Oh, Luke. And the best part is at the end - Rory picks dinner," she grinned. She noticed her mom starting to burrow back into her pillow. "No, no! Come on, get up. Get up! Coffee in maker! Pancakes in foil by stove! More importantly, hello, last full day with daughter! Up, up, up!" Rory knocked Luke's shampoo-scented pillows off the bed, and made a grab for the ones under her mother's head. "UP!" As she left the room, she dragged the blankets down the bed, and headed downstairs, smiling at the overdramatic shouting she left in her wake.
By the time Rory had made the coffee and heated up the pancakes, Lorelai had arrived downstairs in jeans and a short sleeve top, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. Rory wondered how her mother was even able to see through her barely open eyes.
Lorelai reached for the carafe of coffee, wondering how Rory was even able to be up at this hour. "Is this normal… do you normally not sleep? At all? Because I'm pretty sure we went to bed like four hours ago."
"I sleep. I just don't really get a full night of sleep very often. So this is not an unusual feeling. I'm used to time zone hopping and odd hours, and I usually manage to hang in there until I can get a few coffees down. Bad coffee, I should point out. Being a grown-up is hard."
"Roller coasters would've been so much more fun," Lorelai yawned, face down in her coffee mug.
Rory placed the pancakes and syrup on the table and sat down. "Eat. You'll feel better once you've had some food. You can't sleep through my last day here, especially at the table."
"Okay, so just ditch your new job then and start a website writing rollercoaster reviews," Lorelai mumbled.
"Sounds good. Just the kind of thing you go to Yale for," Rory rolled her eyes and dug into her food. "You've got to get over the rollercoaster trip."
Lorelai took a bite of the pancakes. Even reheated, Luke's pancakes were magical. As she immersed her next bite in a pool of syrup, she began to gain more awareness of her surroundings. She squinted at the coffee mug Rory had just taken a sip from, not recognizing it, and nudged it with a finger to turn it a little after Rory put it down. She saw GG's little handprints and frowned. Rory noticed Lorelai's expression and followed her line of sight.
"Oh, wow. I didn't even pay attention to… why is this even here?" Rory bounced up quickly, about to grab another mug.
"Rory, it's fine. It's just a mug. I can ship it to your dad's place later this week," Lorelai reassured her.
"Well, you might want to either ship it to Francine's house, or wait a few weeks to do that since he's moving and all..." Rory trailed off, noticing the confused look on Lorelai's face, "Ah... you hadn't heard?"
Lorelai shook her head. There hadn't been much need to be in contact with Christopher these days, a fact for which she was grateful. Still, it was a little odd to feel so disconnected.
"Where would I have heard?"
"I don't know, you used to keep in touch. It's weird for me to actually know something about Dad before you do. Not bad. Just different... you always being his main focus and all."
Lorelai cringed at that, but didn't deny it. Rory had always been her priority, but Lorelai had always been Christopher's. The only time she had ever put Christopher ahead of her relationship with Rory was last year. One of the many things she'd blown up over the past year.
Although she'd been responsible for her own actions, Christopher had certainly had a hand in what occurred as well. What they'd done - everything from the night she'd spent with him after Luke rejected her, the day they decided to get married, and the night they decided to break up - those choices had affected the girl whose handprints covered that mug, as well as the older daughter currently holding it. And knowing that hurt more than Lorelai could ever fully explain.
"I'm so sorry, Rory."
"You don't have to apologize. For most of my life, he was the one that was either using me to get to you, or when he didn't have to do that, I was kinda just the gift with purchase you wind up with at the cosmetics counter. Just took me a long time to realize it."
Lorelai raised her eyebrows at Rory's sharp tone. "Rory, I… well... first, don't be so hard on your dad. He never had to actually be a parent until GG came along, so even though I always left that door open for him, he never knew what to do with it. I hit the ground running as a parent because I had to. And second, I'm not apologizing for him," she reached out and grabbed Rory's hand, "I'm apologizing for what I did, because I never did before. You were right when you called me out on it right after Luke and I broke up, how I didn't consider you. I didn't consider you - or GG - at any point while I was floundering over the past year. And I'm sorry for that. For all that Luke did and didn't do, he at least was putting April first." Lorelai held Rory's gaze, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall.
"Mom…" Rory choked out, also holding back tears, as both mother and daughter ached for the other, "Don't. It isn't fair to be so hard on yourself. We've moved on."
"And do you think GG is going to feel that way when she looks back on her childhood and finds herself being bounced around the way she was?"
"That's on Dad. He threw GG right in there without any regard for her stability. And she's already aware…" Rory tapered off, hesitating.
"What?" Lorelai asked, unsure if she really wanted the answer.
"Well… I'm not really sure if I should... "
"Is everything okay?"
It was the amount of concern on Lorelai's face that convinced Rory to continue. She knew Lorelai had come to love the little girl, and still cared for her, no matter what had happened between her and Christopher.
"It started when GG wouldn't get on the plane to go visit Sherry this summer," Rory began slowly. "Like, she screamed and threw a fit in the airport, and the nanny freaked out, and brought her home. I know she can be… precocious… but this was different. I guess she's been kinda, well, like you said, getting bounced around a lot, and even more since you and Dad broke up. And she'd been starting to have major issues - complete meltdowns any time she had to leave home, or if Dad or one of the nannies was leaving. It's hard on me sometimes with work, never fully knowing what's next even with a schedule in front of me, so I can't imagine what it's like for a five year old without any point of reference."
"And that's the thing we should have considered."
"That's the thing Dad should have considered," Rory corrected her. "That's the thing a parent considers. Instead, he dragged her into this thing with you, then had her spend a few weeks with Sherry in France, then you guys broke up, and she wound up with two new, alternating nannies. He increased her hours at pre-school, and she was splitting her days up between Francine's and Dad's. And they all thought that flying her to France this summer with one of the nannies was a good idea?!
"No one's been looking out for her. Even when Dad was first telling me the whole story, he was making it seem like it was GG's fault, which made me angry and I told him so. That was a really ugly phone call. I let him know he was doing the same thing he'd done to me, but it was far worse, because she was actually relying on him. I never had to, and knew better." Rory paused to breathe, taking in her mother's horrified expression. "Mom, it's not your fault. That's my point."
"I had a hand in it. Maybe not as much as your dad, but… my god, Rory. She was fine while we were together."
"Because you were a parent, and Dad had someone to shadow. Anyway, I laid into him and didn't hear from him for awhile. He called a week or two ago and we had a good talk. I guess GG started crying a lot at pre-school on top of everything else, and the teacher finally sat him down. So they've been seeing a family therapist in Hartford. He bought a huge house there, and Sherry's going to fly in and visit GG there instead of trying to constantly uproot her and send her to France, at least until she's older."
"That's good."
Rory rolled her eyes, "Seems like that should've been obvious, though. Who sends a kid that age alone to France with a new nanny? Anyway, there's this massive guest house for Sherry, so she has her own place for GG to visit. Francine has a room in the main house, too. He offered me one, but…" Rory shrugged, "I'm not going to be out there often enough for it to matter, and if I'm ever crashing in Hartford and not here, I'd rather stay with Grandma and Grandpa anyway. So I told him to let GG help decorate a guest room and let that be the room I use if I ever need one."
"That's sweet of you. So, is she doing better?" Lorelai asked hopefully, still feeling a little like her chest was caving in on her. The last time she'd spoken to Chris was at Rory's graduation, and he'd made it sound like things were okay. But, then... that was typical Christopher. And that's why she'd always turned to him - he ignored the harder, uglier parts of life and made it easier for her to forget. It's what their entire friendship had been based on as kids - escaping their realities.
"A little. Dad said it's slow, but she's making progress. They're both making progress. I think they've only scratched the surface of the Chris and Rory issues, though…" she smiled wryly, "But… he's definitely gaining some much-needed perspective."
Lorelai let out a deep breath, "Man. That domino effect. Poor GG. And to think I was jealous when we first found out Sherry was pregnant… if I'd known what the next few years of GG's life were going to be like..." she shook her head, trying unsuccessfully to clear out the guilty thoughts plaguing her. "Weird to think of Chris raising his kid among the Hartford elite, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Rory sat back and looked around the kitchen, "Makes me really grateful for how I grew up. Just goes to show you how much of a difference one good parent can make."
She knew Rory was thanking her for her own upbringing, but Lorelai still couldn't get past the negative effects from the past year of GG's life. In trying to salvage her own life, she'd completely destroyed a little girl's. Rory noticed the pained expression still covering her mother's face.
"Mom. You know GG's issues are from five years of chaos, not just the last year. You may have had a hand in some of it, but it's not the same thing. It was Dad's responsibility to protect her from that. Not yours. You barely even dated when I was her age. And look at all the amazing memories you and I talked about all night, most of them from my first few years of life."
Lorelai nodded silently as she ran her finger along her coffee cup. She watched as Rory took their plates to the sink, and recalled the beautiful trip down memory lane they'd taken the previous night. When they arrived in Stars Hollow, she'd made every effort to give Rory the life she dreamed of as a kid. Where imagination could run wild, and any future was possible. In part, she was also creating that life for herself - the advantage of having a child so young was being able to raise yourself and your child the way you wanted to be raised from the beginning. She vowed to pass on that sense of endless possibility with any children she and Luke might have. And she hoped Christopher would find it for GG.
"Hey. If I have to tell you that you've given me everything I've ever needed every time I'm here, I will." Rory said, tugging Lorelai out of her chair and into a hug.
Lorelai held her daughter close, sniffling a little as she whispered, "Kid, that feeling is entirely mutual."
"APRIL! Let me look at you!" Liz squealed, blindly handing off Doula to her uncle as she burst into the diner. Luke rolled his eyes as he shifted Doula to his side, and put the plates he was handling down on one of the empty tables.
"Heyyy! Aunt Liz!" April grinned.
Luke was grateful that April had bonded so easily with his sister. Given April's science-driven brain and Liz's hippy-minded existence, he'd worried there would be a bit of a clash between the two. But it turned out, their excitement at meeting each other and having another family member added to their small clan drew them together, and they found more in common than he'd expected. He smiled fondly as April ran to meet Liz with equal exuberance, the two exchanging a massive hug.
"TJ is going to be so mad he missed you! He's still out doing a few trade shows. I had to cut out early because Doula's been getting these nasty ear infections. I don't know how I forgot. Jess had them too, when he was a baby, and so did I. She's feeling much better now, aren't you honey?" She grinned, speaking in a tiny voice to her daughter. Doula squealed happily, burying her face in Luke's shoulder. "But I think we'll stay put so she stays healthy and I'll ship out jewelry as we need it. We'll spend the last two weeks out there with Daddy, though, won't we, my little princess Doula Guinevere Torelli." She reached out and tickled her daughter's belly, eliciting a few giggles.
Luke smiled down at his niece. Despite her ridiculous name, she was a very happy baby. He guessed it had something to do with laughing at TJ whenever he was in the room.
"Oh, April, before you leave, I made you a new necklace. It's a little New Mexico, a little Connecticut. I was going to grab it, but I was too preoccupied making sure I had everything I needed to help out my brother here," Liz grinned at Luke.
Luke felt himself panic a little, "Ah, Liz…" before Liz could react, he put a hand on her shoulder, hoping she understood he needed her to avoid elaborating on that sentence. He quickly looked over at April, "Hey, we'll be upstairs for a bit. Come get me if it picks up down here, or if Rory and Lorelai get here early. We'll be back in a bit."
He saw April nod, and before she could inquire further, Luke headed upstairs to the office with his sister and niece. After placing Doula on her blanket on the floor with a toy, he and Liz sat across from each other at the table. Liz pulled a small box out of her bag and handed it to Luke.
"I couldn't believe I still had it. You know, I used to wear it around my neck all the time when I was little to feel closer to Mom. And the last time I saw it, I was afraid my ex-boyfriend was gonna sell it for drug money, so I hid it. But I was going through an old suitcase the same day you called asking about it, and there it was. If that's not a sign, big brother, nothing is."
Luke opened the box and carefully ran a finger over his mother's wedding ring. It was small and delicate, just like she had been. The ring was far too small for Lorelai, in both size and style. He'd thought Liz might want to give it to Doula someday, but Liz had shrugged it off.
He put the box down, and walked over to his toolbox sitting near the door of the office. Grabbing the familiar box of nails, he heard Liz laugh behind him at his choice of a hiding place. Luke set it next to the box containing his mother's ring, taking a good look at both pieces of jewelry side by side.
Liz opened a folder she'd retrieved from Doula's diaper bag on the table. Stuffed behind a few receipts and sketches of necklaces was a folded paper with a few different sketches of rings on it.
"The photos you sent of her old engagement ring were perfect, especially the different angles. Go ahead and look it over. The rings are both from around the same era, so the styles are a little similar. You can see there are nuances of each ring in every sketch, too. She'll know it was her ring, you'll know it was mom's ring. A little bit of history made into a future," Liz smiled proudly.
Luke returned the smile, appreciating the time and thought she'd put into this. For as kooky as his sister could be, he was grateful for her sentimental side; sometimes she had a better grasp of these things than he did. He looked at his sister's drawings, exhaling loudly, "Liz these are incredible. You did all of these?"
"You bet I did."
Luke looked more carefully at the individual sketches. Each design had a few different angles. She'd clearly spent a lot of time on this, but it didn't take him long to make a decision. "This one," Luke pointed to the first design. "These are all great, but that one..." he wasn't quite sure how to finish the sentence.
Liz beamed, "I felt that too! That was the first one I drew, and even when I finished with all of them, that was the one I felt the connection to."
Luke nodded, "Okay, so what do we do next?"
"Give me the rings, and I'll run those and the sketch over to Amos today. He'll call you when he's got something for you to look at, and you guys can work together until it's done. He'll also add in the extra little diamonds for the wedding band that fits in." She pointed to one of the smaller drawings next to the design he'd picked.
Luke grimaced a little. He'd spent a lot of time talking to Amos back when he'd spent those seven weeks in Maine; the older gentleman and his wife didn't live very far from Stars Hollow. And while he trusted the man, he was a little worried about Liz having both rings in her possession.
"Luke, you gotta trust me. I'm packing all this up, and going straight to his place. Here, how about this. I'll take the rings and leave Doula with you, so I have no distractions, and I'll come right back here after I drop them off."
He wasn't sure if he was being duped into babysitting or if she genuinely wanted to focus on her mission. He sighed, "Fine. April can keep an eye on Doula while I deal with lunch. So what do you think we're looking at timing-wise?"
"No more than a few weeks probably, knowing him. Getting antsy?" Liz grinned.
"No, I just want to have it ready. Every minute that passes, it feels like we're that much closer to it, you know? And the last few days, much as I hate to lend credence to anything Patty and Babette have to say, it feels like we already have this… family… together. I didn't expect that."
"Well, then, let me go do my part to help!" She stood, "You do realize, though, that this is exactly what you were pushing back against last year, right? You could've had this then."
"Yep."
"Okay, I just want to make sure that-"
"That I know I was an idiot? Yes. I'm aware. It's been eating at me all week. You happy, little sister?" Luke teased, mock-punching Liz in the arm.
"Yes. Thank you. And I'm gone!" Liz said goodbye to her daughter, and left.
Luke played with Doula for a little while longer as he pondered what to tell April. Coming to a decision, he picked Doula up, headed back downstairs, and entered the diner... to loud squeals of joy from Patty and Babette. He handed over his niece before he lost an arm, and went about helping April with a few orders as the lunch crowd started trickling in.
Before he knew it, Luke saw his favorite mother/daughter duo heading around the corner, and motioned toward the table where April's book lay as they entered. Lorelai dropped her purse on one of the chairs, and approached the counter.
He noticed her face looked a little drawn - she was definitely tired, probably feeling sad about Rory's impending departure, but… there was something else as well.
"Hey," she smiled, giving him a quick kiss hello over the counter.
Luke pulled back and motioned to the side of the counter with his head, giving her a look of concern as she met him next to the register.
He reached for her chin, gently turning her face up to look at him, and he moved his hand over to her cheek. Their eyes connected, and after a moment, he asked "You okay?"
Lorelai nodded slowly, "Just a weird morning. I'll tell you about it later." She put her hand on top of his and turned her head to press a kiss into his palm. "Promise." Luke caressed her cheek for a few seconds before remembering they had an audience. He sighed and dropped his hand to her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
"Coffee?"
"Yes. And cheeseburgers. With bacon. And fries. And hold the side salads." She leaned against the counter as she watched him reach for two mugs, "My daughter all but dragged me out of bed this morning so I wouldn't miss a minute of our last full day. Problem is, I'm probably not going to get the late night I intended which I'd much prefer to an early morning. Early mornings are for birds and Lukes and not much else." Lorelai fought back a yawn, lost the battle, and ended up yawning twice, "Hey, what's Doula doing in Patty's clutches? Where's Liz and TJ?"
"TJ's doing another trade show, and Liz had errands to run, so I told her she could leave Doula with April and me. Which has turned out to be Patty and Babette, who've done everything but change her which, of course, they left me to do. Very thoughtful, those two."
"Awww, well, she still likes you the best, look." Lorelai motioned to the lively table in the middle of the diner, and Luke looked over to find Doula giving him her best thousand watt grin, along with a side of drool. He shook his head and reached for the cloth diaper he'd stuffed in his back pocket as he walked over to his niece, wiping the droplet before it could fall to the floor.
Lorelai grabbed the mugs and looked back over at Rory, who was, once again, watching Luke tend to a small human with a completely bemused expression on her face. Lorelai slid Rory's mug onto the table, taking the seat across from her. "Never gonna stop being amused by that, are you?"
"Nope. Even after seeing him with the twins last night, his old rants about babies in the diner is still fresh in my mind."
Rory grinned as she saw April approaching with a plate. "Ooh, my chili fries!"
"Your chili fries?" Lorelai frowned, and reached for one.
Rory smacked her hand away, crying out, "Hey!"
April giggled, sitting down and sliding her book into her bag.
"My chili fries. I texted April with this order before we left." Rory held up a finger, "Hands off. I'm starving after all that talking and shopping."
"Well, that's not fair!" Lorelai frowned. She watched Rory for a second as April engaged her in conversation, asking about their day. Lorelai discreetly reached for her phone, hiding it under the table as she quickly pushed a few buttons.
Finished with her task, she sat back and sipped her coffee, watching as Rory's phone buzzed. Rory pulled her phone out of her pocket to find a text from her mother.
"You're pathetic. I can share if you're feeling faint," she nudged the plate toward Lorelai, "But texting me when I'm sitting across the table from you doesn't count. I ordered via text in advance. And I'll have you know that you have regular access to these chili fries. I have to settle for soggy potatoes masquerading as fries, and greasy slop failing at being chili. So when you are reaching for your tenth one, please remember that in two days I'll be crying into a mess of food that even Oliver Twist wouldn't touch."
Lorelai held her hands up in surrender and turned her attention to April. "How's your morning been? Aside from not informing me that you're taking orders via text."
April chuckled, "Good. Doula's been here over an hour, and the only chance I've had to hold her was when Babette was trying to get someone to change her. And that was only to pass her over to Dad. So, I've been keeping busy with other stuff. I read a bit. And I reorganized a bit of the storeroom. Maybe I should spread the word about texting in orders. Could've made the day a little more exciting."
"Your dad would be in a murderous rage after you head back to New Mexico, you know that."
"That's the best part - he couldn't kill me because I wouldn't be here."
"Man, and I thought chili fry hoarder over there was the evil child. Leave me to deal with the angry guy getting texts at three in the morning from Kirk making sure his breakfast order is in."
"Oooh, I don't think I'd wish that on anyone," April cringed. "Maybe email would be better…"
"Uh-uh," Lorelai shook her head, "I tried to talk him into faxed orders once so I could fax orders over from the Independence Inn. He got the line, never advertised it or hooked it up to anything. And he still won't use his laptop. The less technology, the better."
The bells on the door and a loud squeal from Doula announced Liz's arrival. "Hi, baby girl!" Liz returned the massive smile Doula was giving her, and much to Patty's dismay, quickly scooped the infant up, pressing a kiss against her blond curls. "Lorelai! Rory! I was hoping I'd see you before you left! Give me one second to talk to my brother and I'll be right over!"
Lorelai watched curiously as Liz and Luke scurried up the stairs; she looked over at April, "What's that all about?"
"No idea. She got here, was about to tell me something, then Dad dragged her upstairs, and a bit later, she came down practically running for the door. She's been gone until just now."
"Huh," Lorelai decided to shrug it off. She figured Luke would let her in on whatever Liz was up to later. The siblings had grown quite a bit closer over the last two years, which was nice to see. Until Jess arrived, Luke had rarely spoken of his immediate family. As odd as Liz could be, she was a kind, genuine person who cared a lot for her brother. It was still hard for Lorelai to reconcile her with the same woman that had given up on Jess and sent him to live with Luke.
A few minutes later, Liz hurried back down, Doula's previously happy face having shifted into a ball of red, squalling fury.
"Pre-nap meltdown," Liz explained, "Rory, I'm so sorry I won't get to see more of you before you leave. You'll be home for the holidays?" Rory nodded. "Wonderful! April, Lorelai, I'll see you guys for dinner later this week. I gotta get this one home to bed before she takes out my ear drum." Liz bolted out the door, and Lorelai turned to glance back at Luke as he approached with plates of food.
"I love that kid, but man, she can scream," he grumbled. "April, tuna sandwich; Lorelai and Rory, cheeseburgers."
"Um, sir, I specifically requested no salad." Lorelai glared at the smaller plate Luke placed near her, before directing the same offended look back at Luke.
"Uh-huh. And when you're not paying, you don't get a final say. You only ate the carrots out of the salad I made last night."
"Oh, I pay. I'm definitely paying." Lorelai sighed, stabbing at a cherry tomato. She figured she'd save the best for last and finish off the salad first. She pulled the tomato off the fork with her teeth, staring Luke in the face, "Paying!" she said around the tomato and proceeded to chew it.
Luke rolled his eyes and, before leaving to attend to a few other customers, pointed at Rory and April, "Don't even." He eventually returned with a grilled chicken sandwich for himself, and sat down.
"Liz sure is a woman on a mission today," April prodded her father.
"Yeah, with TJ gone, she needed some help with some stuff for their jewelry business," Luke replied, keeping his expression neutral. April took a good, long look at her dad. Lorelai and Rory seemed convinced, but they hadn't been there when Liz had arrived. Liz had mentioned helping him out, not the other way around. Luke caught April's eye and gave a slight shake of his head. Something to ask him about later, she figured.
"Oh, well that's... nice of you..." April stared him down for another few seconds, and noticed Rory looking at her curiously. She was going to miss having Rory around. She'd always wanted a sibling, but never realized just how much fun it could be having someone on the same team.
"Rory, are you sure you don't want to go riding with me today?" April asked her. "It'll be fun, and statistically speaking, it's highly unlikely another horse could die under you. And Duncan even said they're young, in good health, and likely to live for many, many more years."
"Nope. Not happening. But there's probably some delicious dessert Manny's made that I'll be happy to enjoy while I watch you from a safe distance."
"Fiiiine. Lorelai, is what I'm wearing okay?"
"Yeah, the horses aren't particularly interested in fashion. I mean, there's the Vogue I found out there a few weeks ago, but I'm pretty sure someone swiped it from my office and forgot to return it. While Cletus has been known to break out of his stall and wind up inside the inn, I don't think he's stealthy enough to get into my office and swipe a magazine."
"Very funny. Duncan said jeans and tennis shoes, but he didn't mention anything about a shirt. I thought long sleeved because of insects, but it's kind of hot out there today, so I brought another shirt to throw over this tank top just in case…"
"The tank top will be fine. We'll coat ourselves in sunscreen and bug spray before we head out," Lorelai smiled.
After lunch, Luke - feeling a little wary of entrusting his livelihood to his newest staff during an abnormally busy lunch rush - sent Lorelai, Rory, and April on ahead. Despite his best intentions, it wasn't much longer before Cesar all but kicked him out the door.
He mentally went through the longterm to-do list in his mind as he drove to the Dragonfly. With the ring out of his hands for now, his next item was the car situation.
Lorelai's jeep could fit four, but the leg room in the back seat was tight, and there was no trunk. His truck was all storage, no back seat. Although fine for the two of them, it would mean taking separate cars over the holidays every time they needed trunk space, which wasn't ideal. Luke liked the idea of the four of them loading up presents and visiting Liz and TJ, or Emily and Richard. And beyond that, looking toward the future, neither car was practical for a potentially growing family.
He dreaded broaching the subject with Lorelai, though. The ridiculous car hunt the two of them had gone on months ago was still fresh in his mind. He knew the experience had been necessary; Lorelai had gotten what she'd wanted in the end, and the trip had served the greater purpose of dissipating the thick awkwardness between the two of them.
Still, he wasn't looking forward to attempting it again. Having three cars between the two of them seemed absurd, but he couldn't figure out a way around it. Lorelai was fiercely attached to her jeep, his truck was in flawless condition for its age, and as time had proven again and again, having it around was extremely useful.
Luke pulled into the Dragonfly's employee parking lot, and began making his way toward the stables. Seeing April in a helmet made him remember the ridiculous get-up she'd worn when they first met. Though she was clearly her father's daughter as far as taking precautions went, Luke was glad to see she'd lightened up a little. He wouldn't have expected the overly cautious little girl in the crazy looking bike helmet to have begged to take a train home from New York City alone, or felt comfortable enough to ride a horse without a full football uniform on for protection. They'd both become a little braver over the past year, it seemed.
April caught sight of him and he saw her bounce excitedly as she waved. Luke chuckled to himself, waved back, and walked a little faster toward the stables. She was standing near an odd wooden thing with four legs and a saddle mounted on top of it.
She caught his confused look. "It's to practice on. It's neat. Watch." April mounted the saddle and Duncan nodded approvingly before walking into the stable.
"Nice," Luke smiled, and looked over to see Rory stretched out in an Adirondack chair nearby, clearly keeping her distance from all things horse related. He heard the sound of a galloping horse and turned to see Lorelai atop Desdemona. She brought the horse down to a trot as she drew closer, and Luke couldn't help but stare.
He knew Lorelai loved the inn's two horses and had been ecstatic to have them at the Dragonfly. What he didn't realize was that Lorelai wasn't just comfortable around them, she clearly knew how to ride them. And she was glorious. She laughed at his expression as she expertly dismounted, and he realized he was outright gaping at the woman he thought he knew so well.
"How…?" Luke stared, unable to finish his sentence.
"Oh, come on. Horseback riding lessons? It's what rich kids do. It was one of the few things Emily and I agreed on when I was little, but she never let me get my own horse. There's an album of me in the whole English riding getup and my old ribbons somewhere at my parents' house. I had a deal with my instructor; in turn for cleaning some of the stables, I got to do some western riding after I'd finished with the lessons my parents were paying for. Those contraband photos I have in a box somewhere at home."
She reached up and scratched Desdemona's hindquarters, much the same way she scratched Paul Anka's. Luke laughed when he saw Desdemona's leg twitch a little, just as Paul Anka's did. He could definitely see a younger Lorelai finding a little bit of freedom riding horses in her youth, but he couldn't believe this was the first he was hearing of it. He knew she'd wanted a pony as a child, but he'd figured all kids wanted one at some point.
"How long did you ride for?"
"From about age seven through, well, fifteen," she motioned toward Rory. "Technically, Rory's first horse ride was not the one she remembers. One of the things I'm a little sad I didn't pass down to her," Lorelai added.
"Okay, April, you ready to show off those mounting and dismounting skills on a real horse?" Duncan asked as he led Cletus over, and motioned to a mounting block next to Cletus. "You can try it from the ground next time."
April rubbed her hands excitedly as Duncan walked her through getting on the saddle and how to sit. She was a little shaky and slow. The wooden horse she'd practiced on didn't shift or breathe, so the experience was clearly a little different, but she still grinned happily as she moved from the steps to the horse. Duncan got her settled in, and he held the reigns as he lead her away slowly, letting her get used to the feel of things.
Luke looked over to see Lorelai stroking Desdemona's side idly while she watched April. He thought back to his own first childhood experience with a horse. He'd been going through a cowboy phase, and one of the locals would bring a pony in during the Stars Hollow Spring Fling. Kids would get dressed in in western accessories and sit on the pony for a quick photo.
He'd been excited about it for weeks, but when he was suddenly face to face with the pony, he'd freaked out and run home crying, immediately putting an end to his cowboy obsession. Bootsy had teased him for months after that. He'd long since gotten over his aversion to horses, but Luke Danes was definitely not one to seek out or otherwise bond with the animal kingdom; he didn't count his odd relationship with Paul Anka - the dog was hardly normal and he'd been obligated to put up with him. In spite of his nervousness about April riding, he was glad she didn't harbor the same fear of animals he'd had as a kid.
Luke watched Lorelai mount Desdemona again, making what should be such an awkward balancing act from the ground look effortless; he tried to shift focus from her legs before he was caught admiring them. Unfortunately, the bemused expression on Lorelai's face told him that his gaze had lingered just a second too long and hadn't gone unnoticed.
"What?" he feigned innocence.
"You know, years ago... my mother said you looked at me like I was a Porterhouse steak."
"I don't really like steak."
"Well, we both know that I'm not going to say you just looked at me like I was a salad. Green and leafy, I am not. Perhaps the tall drink of water analogy?" she cocked her head.
Luke couldn't hold back the unexpected belly laugh that erupted, and he put his hand on the leg he'd just been ogling. Its owner placed her hand on his.
"She really said that?" Luke asked.
"She did. She also said you looked at me like I was about to give you a lap dance."
"Now I know you're lying. Emily Gilmore doesn't say lap dance."
"She did, I swear. And she wasn't completely wrong, just a little off with the timing," Lorelai waggled her eyebrows flirtatiously.
Luke smirked, turning bright red as he heard Rory yell, "HEY! Children present!" from her chair. He decided to hazard a glance to his left and found Rory with her book over her face, then looked back up at Lorelai who, as expected, was grinning.
She patted his hand, "All right, let's go give April the best first horseback ride in history so we can do this again some time." Luke removed his hand, slowly and lingering, making sure it brushed the length of her leg as it dropped. She giggled softly and poked him with her boot, then called out, "Hey, camera girl!"
Rory moved the book off her face, camera already in hand. She stood up and walked next to Luke as Lorelai backed up, quickly sending Desdemona into a gallop toward April, Duncan, and Cletus.
"She's nuts," Rory muttered as they walked, "But it is fun to watch her ride."
"Does she do that often? She's never mentioned it, not once."
"When she can. Duncan says they even like her better than him. It's one of the few things she does that I think can qualify as being genuinely therapeutic. I can't believe she's never taken you out here."
"She sorta did once. But I don't remember her mentioning riding." Luke mostly remembered Shel, the chicken guy, and the conversation that led to him buying the self-help books that had finally pushed him to pursue Lorelai. He smiled a little at the memory.
Luke and Rory followed at a distance, talking about how beautiful the grounds of the Dragonfly were, how at ease April seemed to be with Cletus even as Duncan handed her the reigns, and how excited Lorelai looked to have someone to finally share it with.
"What happened with your mom this morning?" Luke asked recalling a different expression on Lorelai's face earlier, "She's clearly feeling better, but that probably has something to do with the horses. She looked a little upset."
"Ahh…" Rory cringed, "I told her something I probably shouldn't have. Just… more stuff that's come up from the past year. But it's probably something you should talk to her about," she looked at him apologetically.
"Yeah, she said we'd talk later, I just figured it couldn't hurt to get a head start."
"I didn't realize the healing process could hurt so much. She really did a number on herself," Rory sighed.
Luke knew that much of what they'd been dealing with - and especially what Lorelai had been going through over the past few months - had a lot to do with Lorelai handling herself badly, not just dealing with the things he'd done. Still, one was tied to the other, and it bothered him that he'd hurt her so deeply. Everything with Christopher had hurt him, but it was a lot easier to get over, and it was something he had mostly dealt with by the time they'd gotten back together.
"Hey," Rory touched his arm, "She's good, Luke. But my mom's a lot more emotional than she tries to let on, and I know she tried to suppress a lot when she and I weren't talking, and then with you last year, and then again with my dad... there's just a lot of unraveling to do. I'm just glad she's not doing it alone. This could've been a lot harder."
"I get it. And she's been doing better. We both have. That's why I was surprised to see her looking so sad this afternoon."
Rory nodded, "Well, try not to worry too much." He chortled in response. "Yeah, yeah, I know," she smiled, "So, speaking of this morning, what part of Liz's jewelry business do you help with at the diner?"
"She had some jewelry sketches she wanted a second opinion on," Luke stuck to the alibi he'd come up with earlier. With the inquisitive scientist, and miss reporter extraordinaire around, he was glad he'd taken the time to put together a decent story.
"So she came to you," Rory eyed him.
"What can I say, I have an eye for it. Jewelry's about all I can do when it comes to gifts."
"So I've seen. And I almost believe you. I probably would if I hadn't seen April staring you down at lunch."
Luke frowned. He really hated being at the other end of one of Rory's interrogations. There was no doubt this girl was in the right field. He determined the best course of action was to just stay quiet. He had really hoped to keep the ring to himself; it was bad enough Rory knew as much as she did. He didn't want any expectations or questions from anyone, not even Rory or April.
"Come on, Luke! I have to go back to life in a bus tomorrow. Give me something happy to think about. Please?"
Not only was Rory in the right field, but there was also no doubt as to who her mother was.
"Rory, I don't have anything more to tell you. Liz came by to run some drawings and ideas by me. We talked about their business. I don't know what you want me to say."
"Say that one more time, but look me in the eye when you do it."
He ignored her. "What do you think she was doing?"
"I think it has something to do with the fact that your sister makes jewelry, and that you have a missing engagement ring in your possession. Which came up in conversation again today, by the way. She's going to figure it out eventually."
"Liz was here for business and to show me a few drawings, nothing more." He wasn't lying. Luke's business was with Amos with Liz as a go-between, and she could technically use her other designs if she ever wanted to get into more expensive jewelry.
"Okay. Sticking to your story. I respect that. You already have my number in case your story changes, so I won't leave my card," Rory said with a teasing grin. "I should warn you, though, April's probably not going to let go of this as easily."
Luke guffawed. "Rory, when there's something to know, you'll know. You have my word."
"Yeah, yeah."
Confident with April's comfort level on Cletus under Lorelai's supervision, Duncan headed back to the stables while the four continued their walk.
Rory looked around as they walked through the more wooded area of the Dragonfly property, breathing it in, "Man, I'm going to miss this. I'm excited to get back to work, and have already been getting twitchy seeing someone else doing my job. But it's been amazing to be home for a few days."
"It's been good having you here. Your mom really inspired that article, huh?"
"I'd hit a wall in my writing and was really unhappy with my original story. I think even my editor knew it was far from my best work, and was taking it anyway. But… Mom said something about life not so much changing as it was evolving. And I started thinking about the difference between the two and how well it correlated to the Senator's hopes for the country's future… and the words just started flowing."
"Wow," Luke pondered. The biggest issue between he and Lorelai previously had been their inability to really evolve as a couple. He'd had the same problem as an individual, he'd discovered, which probably had some correlation. It pleased him to know that Lorelai was noticing their relationship had grown, though; so many of his own issues as an adult had come from being too stuck in the past, unable to move forward, and he'd worked hard to fix that over the past year. Having April around had certainly helped.
Thinking of Lorelai's evolution, he'd noticed she let her serious, more vulnerable side show through a lot more often; her proclivity to hide behind a mask of humor had certainly lessened. Whether that was a deliberate choice or the mask simply wasn't big enough to hide everything behind anymore, he wasn't sure, but it had definitely encouraged him to avoid hiding behind his own emotional walls as well.
"DAD! Catch!" April shouted from several feet away. Luke looked over and caught the apple being thrown to him.
"Why are you in swimming when you can throw like that?!" Luke yelled back.
"Because I don't run!" April laughed.
April and Lorelai had paused while April picked a few more apples, sliding them into her saddle bag. Lorelai picked a few apple blossoms as well, tucking one behind her ear as Rory continued photographing everyone.
"Did you know you had apple trees back here?" Luke asked after he and his fellow pedestrian had caught up.
"Of course. It is my property. I'm just not too big on apples, myself, unless they are in a pie," Lorelai replied, braiding a few flowers into Desdemona's mane.
"I'm pretty sure I've seen you eat an apple before."
"Yes. Like a lot of fruits and vegetables, I will eat them. But it's very rare I think to myself, 'Gee. An apple sounds really great right now.' I ate a ton of 'em that year the cider mill's orchards had that huge surplus and they were insanely cheap, though. And," she pointed at Rory, "When I was pregnant with that one, I ate like ten apples a day."
Luke chuckled, having a hard time imagining it, "Well, you should bring home any that Sookie doesn't use. I happen to like apples." He rubbed the apple April had tossed him against his shirt and took a bite, "And these are really good."
Lorelai nodded, "I can do that. We actually sell some of this to Jackson since they're different from the ones he grows, and there are a lot of fruit trees back here. I wish Fran had sold this to us while she was still alive so we could've asked her more about it. I think they had a pretty big fruit orchard back here at one point. One of these days I'll finish digging through the old documents we have and see what other historical information I can pull up. Taylor hasn't been much help."
"When is he any help? Or do you not remember Sores and Boils Alley?"
"Ugh. I still have one of the brochures I had printed up to see if I could live with it. You'd think someone so obsessed with the town's economy would've given consideration to what that name could've done to an inn with a highly rated restaurant. He's lucky that stupid idea wasn't permanent," Lorelai grumbled.
She took the camera from Rory, and handed her an apple in return, "Here. Feed that to Desdemona and make friends." She handed Luke another one, "And you go make friends with Cletus."
Luke sighed, "I'm not afraid of the horses, I just don't want to ride them." He walked over and offered the apple to Cletus, who happily started eating it out of his hand. He couldn't help but smile as he scratched the horse's neck.
Rory, on the other hand, approached Desdemona warily, talking the horse through the process. "Okay, look. See this apple? I'm going to give it to you. I really, really like my hand. And I see you have some pretty big teeth. So I'm going to offer you this here fruit. Actually, I'm going to use my left hand because I'm right-handed and really like writing." She switched the apple to her left hand, and held it up, letting out a small squeal as Desdemona bit into it, eventually getting up the nerve to cautiously stroke the horse's nose with her finger.
Luke hadn't realized how massive the Dragonfly's property was. Lorelai could easily expand the inn someday, if she were ever interested, and still have plenty of outdoor space.
He really wished Lorelai had taken him farther out when she gave him his investor tour years ago, or at any point after that; the place was beautiful and reminded him a little of the property on which the Independence Inn once stood, but larger and far less manicured. He much preferred the more rustic environment here.
They followed a small dirt trail, staying quiet as they enjoyed the surroundings, pausing occasionally while Lorelai pointed something out, or took a picture. During one such moment, his eyes caught a few beams of light as it streamed through the trees. He felt himself begin to really relax and unwind as he immersed himself in the beauty of it. He hadn't gotten outdoors nearly enough this summer. One of these days he was going to make Lorelai pay for all the times they went shopping and drag her camping for a weekend.
His thoughts were interrupted as he felt Lorelai's warm breath on his ear. "You're entranced."
"I never realized how big the property as a whole actually was," Luke turned, not realizing April had also dismounted. The horses were tied to a nearby post, enjoying a drink of water. He reached for Lorelai's hand and linked their fingers, walking around the clearing at which they'd arrived. The spot was up a slight hill from where they'd started, with a bigger drop off along the other side that overlooked a small creek; he paused there to enjoy the view. "Why didn't I buy this when I had the chance and move the diner out of the middle of town? This is much more my style."
"Hah! I had dibs," Lorelai grinned, squeezing his hand. "Though technically, as an investor, you do sort of own part of it." It had been awhile since she'd been this far out on the property, and it was nice to be able to share something like this with Luke. It was out in nature, but not too far.
"Are these cherry trees?" Luke asked, noticing the branches arching overhead.
She nodded. The spot was beautiful in the spring. "These particular ones don't have fruit, but they flower beautifully. In April, when they're in full bloom, we offer packages for guests to come out here with picnic baskets and eat under the cherry blossoms. It's one of my favorite things we've ever done, and it was a huge hit both years. I think we'll do it again this year." Lorelai left out the part about having originally saved the first spot for her and Luke, canceling the plans when he decided to escort April on her trip. She refused to let herself think too hard about it, though; what's done was done, and it was in the past.
"How far in advance do you take reservations?"
"I'll have to check. Make sure it's not already booked up," she joked, shooting him a wide grin, knowing full well it wasn't on any official agenda yet. He smiled back, one of his typical Luke smiles where he'd try to push back against it, but the slight up-curve of his mouth was still visible, and his eyes betrayed him completely. It made her swoon a little whenever it was directed at her, and she took the opportunity to tug him against her.
"One hint of romance, and you can't contain yourself, can you?" he muttered, his face barely centimeters from hers, his hand falling to her waist.
"Hmmm..." she pretended to consider his question, letting her eyes drift down to his lips. "Nope," she finished, bridging the gap. No longer hearing April and Rory's voices, she figured they'd wandered far enough away for her to enjoy the moment a little more, and she pulled Luke closer, putting a little more into the kiss.
She laughed right into Luke's mouth when he immediately grabbed her wrists and pulled them out and away from their bodies, knowing he'd done so deliberately to prevent her from letting them wander.
"Awkward," he pulled his face back a few inches, referring to her reaction.
"Well! You… detained my hands!"
"Your hands can't be trusted," he whispered. Before she could reply, he moved back in to finish the kiss her laugh had interrupted, her wrists still held by his hands. As the kiss deepened, he moved them up around his neck, resting his own hands at her waist.
She pulled her head back again slightly, "Oh, and you can be trusted? Because I can give you several examples proving otherwise, most recently-"
"Shhh. Stop interrupting me," he pulled her against him, picking back up where they'd left off.
By the time Lorelai overheard Rory and April's voices approaching, one of Luke's hands had moved back up to hold her hand to his shoulder. As they pulled apart, she quickly moved her free hand onto his hand at her waist, trapping his fingers where they'd strayed just below the waist of her jeans.
"Hypocrite," she smirked, slapping his hand lightly before releasing it.
"I wasn't talking about my hands," he grinned, kissing her forehead as April and Rory approached.
"Dad! Did you know there's a lake down there?" April exclaimed, running over to Luke, gesturing in the direction she and Rory had just been before leading him over.
Rory sidled up to Lorelai with a raised eyebrow. "You two," Rory stage whispered.
"What'd we do?" Lorelai tried very hard to play dumb. Rory's expression told her she was hardly fooling anyone.
"You know, I have been single for awhile, but not that long. I know what it means when two peoples' cheeks are all glowy and blushing like that. You are worse than teenagers." Lorelai put her hands over her cheeks, condemning them for tattling. Rory waited until Luke and April were a little farther ahead, then added, "Plus! I had the misfortune of seeing hands where hands should not go when there are offspring present."
"A hand."
"What?"
"A hand. Just one. And it wasn't mine. I was banned."
"Banned?"
"Apparently, my hands are not trustworthy."
"Okay, stop right there," Rory warned. She paused for a moment before speaking again, "Is it weird?"
"Oh, honey."
"Not… ugh. Mom, I'm being serious."
"Me too. I'm very seriously sad for you-"
"Mom," Rory sighed. "You and Luke. You guys were very low-key last time. To the point that sometimes, you still seemed very platonic, even when you were engaged. Now, I get that stuff is different this time. But… it's weird to see you two so touchy and lovey-dovey. Does that feel weird?"
Lorelai thought for a moment, "At first, I thought he was just rubbing it in everyone's faces because there was that whole weird ban on talking about us or even acknowledging us when we were together or whatever. I'm still not clear on the what the rules were. But even after that was dropped, he kept it up. Before, I mean, whenever he was… demonstrative… like that, it was rare, and I really enjoyed it when it happened because it was so rare... y'know, Luke being Luke… it made it kind of special… but now it's not rare, and I still get just as giddy. It still feels special, no matter how many times he doles out a little PDA... So, I don't know. Is it early relationship tingles? Are we just making up for lost time?"
"I don't know. I don't think there's a guidebook for third time relationship attempts. You guys are on your own."
"Exactly. So just in case it's temporary, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of it. And if it's permanent, well, I think I can live with that." They quietly watched Luke and April talking and gesturing about what seemed to be water sources as they pointed toward the creek and back to the lake. Lorelai figured it must be somehow related to fishing.
"What were you and April talking about?" she asked Rory.
"Boys."
"Boys?"
"Boys. But I can't tell you anything else, it's not…" she paused, thinking. "Hey, remember that Mom Code you had with Mrs. Kim?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Call this the Sister Code."
Lorelai frowned slightly, "Okay… I get that. But… there's nothing Luke needs to worry about?"
"No. She just… had a burgeoning summertime romance cut short by a mean daddy who wouldn't let her ride the train home with him. And that's all I'm offering because I know the look on your face, and you're totally telling Luke."
"Uh..." Lorelai faltered, knowing full well she would be, but wasn't quite willing to admit it. The boy part of the train ride was a new part of the story that had been left out.
"And that is why there is a Sister Code I'm not breaking," Rory smiled.
Lorelai nodded, smiling a little as well. It was good for April to have someone who wasn't Luke, Anna, or herself to talk to about things. Someone who was an adult, but not in a parental position. She made eye contact with Luke and he smiled back warmly.
Luke sat next to April on the boulder. After they'd determined there were no fish in the little lake, they'd both quieted to watch a small turtle dip into part of the lake that was furthest from the creek. April quickly spotted a few more nearby, and silently pointed them out to Luke. He decided this entire clearing was definitely his favorite spot at the Dragonfly. Eventually, April broke their comfortable silence.
"Hey, Dad, can I ask you something that might be a little... nosy and personal?"
"You can always ask," Luke replied honestly.
"So. When you told me you and Lorelai were 'back on track'… I kinda thought we'd be talking about a wedding and dresses and stuff this week. But she doesn't even have her ring back on. Rory said you guys were good, that her mom wouldn't be in this unless it was a permanent thing, and everyone here seems to be happy for you guys and hopeful about the future. But if it's permanent, what's the deal?"
"This has been bugging you, huh?"
"A little."
"By back on track, I meant back together. And we are planning a future together. But we've had a lot to work out, it wasn't as simple as being together and moving full steam ahead. We both really blew it last time, and we've been sorting through why."
"The why is easy. Mom sabotaged everything."
"And why would you say that?"
"Well, first because she never told you about me. And... I hear things. Mom always assumes because my eyes are busy in a book, my ears stop working entirely. And Stars Hollow isn't exactly known for being discreet about other people's lives."
Luke sighed, "April, your mom was trying to do what was best for you."
"Gloating about you breaking up wasn't best for me. Refusing to let me hang out with Lorelai wasn't best for me. Trying to keep me from you wasn't best for me. Not ever telling me about you in the first place wasn't best for me! None of these things were in any way good for me at all!"
"You have to understand that the guy you call your dad now is a lot different from the guy your mom dated."
"And I'm sure the Anna you dated isn't the same woman I know as my mom now. But she never even gave you a chance! And if she'd met Lorelai apart from you, she probably would've ended up becoming friends with her. Or at least liking her. But she was ridiculous."
"Well, adults aren't perfect. Your mom isn't. I'm not, Lorelai's not." Luke stopped, allowing him to thik for a moment before speaking again. "Y'know... when I was a kid, I hated oral reports. I'd write out my notecards, and I'd memorize everything, and I'd get up there and I'd be so nervous, I'd completely screw it up right at the beginning. And no matter how hard I tried to fix it, I'd panic, and end up screwing up the whole thing."
April nodded, "I did that in my first play."
"So you know all about the stage-fright thing. Well, when I found out about you, I panicked. Didn't tell Lorelai for a few months. Just like those stupid oral reports, I tried to handle the stage-fright without stopping for a second to just take a breath, and I blew it. By the time I stopped to really think about things, it was too late. I think your mom might've done something similar." Luke believed what he was saying, but he still wasn't sure he'd ever be able to forgive Anna for the influence she'd had in everything that had happened over the last two years. That, however, was his burden to bear, not April's.
"Still doesn't absolve her of blame."
"Nothing about you or your mom should have affected Lorelai and me. At least not to the degree that it did. These are the things you stumble through, not the things that make you completely fall down."
"So you're saying if Mom hadn't gone all control freak on you guys, and you hadn't gone all weird on Lorelai, there were still other issues." She eyed him, "I don't buy it, Dad."
Luke sighed, sorting through his thoughts on the matter, trying to find the right response. He might've found some other reason to panic. He knew Christopher would've never stopped being an issue. Lorelai's separation between her family and her Stars Hollow life would've eventually become a problem. Those were issues that caused their first breakup that they'd never properly dealt with even back then. Beyond that, they'd both fallen into a rut of poor communication. Any number of things could've thrown a wrench into the works.
"The thing is, being around you taught me a lot about... me. Which was good for me. So, for all the crazy things that could've happened, I wound up with a pretty good outcome," he nudged her lightly and she looked up and smiled. "Lorelai and I have come a long way in the last few months. Relationships can be complicated. We're just really lucky we managed to sort things out to get to where we are now."
"Well, that's... helpful. I never wanted to bring it up, but I always worried that it wasn't just Mom, but me too."
"Never think that. We were stupid, and we've been fixing all that, and things are even better than they were before. A lot better."
"I noticed," she smirked, and Luke chuckled awkwardly, feeling the tips of his ears burn a little. "Then if things are better now, and you know you're going to be married, why not just be officially engaged?"
Luke scratched his neck and realized his brain was starting to short circuit trying to reword very personal things in ways that a young person, granted, a very book-smart teenager, but young and inexperienced nonetheless, would understand. Parenting could be tiring.
"Uh, well, if you're in your lab, and you've got… um… stuff… you're pouring into a test tube, and you know that it's going to be one thing when you're done, do you call it that before you've finished your work?"
"No. But I see your point. It's a good analogy too. You have to focus on putting all the right stuff, in the right amounts in, to get the right solution. Too much of the wrong thing, not enough of another, or the wrong ingredient altogether, and you just went from making hydrogen peroxide to sulfuric acid," April grinned.
Luke laughed, "Well, there you go."
"But you're close, right? Because I kinda got the feeling, based on your reaction at lunch, that Liz had something to do with helping you pick out a ring or something today…"
Luke sighed and just shook his head, staring out at the view.
April pushed a little more, "So you're not going to tell me if it had something to do with the ring you stole from Lorelai?"
"No. And you can commiserate with your cohort up there since I'm sure you'll compare even more notes later. When there's something to tell you, you'll know."
"Okay, okay. In the meantime, you really need to relax about your kids seeing you kiss," she patted his leg and slid off the boulder, "Before? When Lorelai couldn't even come see me? And when she showed at my birthday party, and you two barely touched? Not normal. Kissing your… girlfriend, future fiancée, life partner, whatever? Completely normal. Now, come on, I want to find out what Rory picked for dinner. And, y'know, compare notes about stuff."
April walked back up toward Lorelai and Rory, leaving Luke mildly embarrassed and lacking a response. He really wasn't sure who was worse, April or Rory. He watched the turtles for a little longer, thinking about what he'd told April. They'd both avoided talking about Lorelai after they'd broken up; it had never occurred to him to really talk to April about it or ask how she felt. As far as he'd been concerned, she'd been unaffected. He'd blinded himself to too many things to keep himself safe back then, and was glad to finally hear April's perspective.
It bothered him that April clearly still felt a lot of anger towards Anna, though. He'd thought it would have faded by now, but there were times it seemed to be gaining in strength, rather than lessening. He wondered if raising a kid with someone you loved was this difficult. It seemed like you had a lot less angst to deal with when the parents were playing for the same team. As it was, it almost felt hypocritical to tell April to stop being bitter toward her mother when he still was.
"Hey, you down there!" Lorelai called, "Sun's gonna start setting soon, and we still need to hit Doose's if you're cooking tonight."
"I'm comin'," he called back, hopping off the rock. He walked back toward the group and found April was already back on Cletus while was posing with Lorelai for yet another photo.
The four of them headed back to the inn as the sun began its slow descent, giving the woods a glowing, ethereal quality. Luke took long looks at each of the women in his presence. Soon, Rory would be off living her life, April would be back in New Mexico and busy with school, and Lorelai would be deeply involved in this major event at the inn for which she'd already put in a fair amount of time.
For the first time since he was a kid, Luke remembered what it felt like to be immersed in the comfort and stability of family.
He couldn't wait until it was time to make it official.
He wondered if he might be able to convince Amos to expedite that ring a little.
Author's Notes: First, I know, I know! Luke's mom's wedding ring has been done to death! But sometimes there's a good reason ideas like that are so popular, and it was one of the tropes I willingly let myself fall into. Sorry I'm not sorry for the lack of originality. I try to make up for it in other ways. ;)
Second, I have long wondered how big the Dragonfly's property was, and after much thought, decided it could be as big as I wanted it to be. And so it is.
Finally, Chris's decision-making without regard for GG has always bothered me, and given how close she and Lorelai seemed to have gotten in season 7, it felt like an important thing for Lorelai to have to deal with. When I was working on this and laying out storylines, I had just been to the "Into the Woods" reunion with Stephen Sondheim and the original Broadway cast, thus the concept of making decisions that have far-reaching consequences beyond what you're able to see at the time was heavy on my mind.
If you made it this far, you've just read the longest chapter in this fic. Congrats! Twice I tried to split it in two, but it just didn't work for me. So it's just one big ol' beast of a chapter. It's fic, there are no rules about chapter length consistency! Anyway, you're also about a third of the way through, as far as chapter count goes!
Oh, and if you're keeping an eye on my titles, I'll save you from Googling: H2O2 is, of course, the formula for hydrogen peroxide.