Monday, Feb 18th still, 7:40. Five minutes before Home Room.
"Ms. Cullen! Shouldn't you be in class right now?"
"Mr. Schnappytailer, I really should be, but there is a serious issue I need to discuss with you." Rose was waiting in the doorway for my cue.
"What is that so called 'important issue' you need to skip part of class to confer with me? Don't call me 'Schnappytailer', by the way. It's rude." He did not actually use air quotes, did he? How depressing is it when an adult attempts to connect with adolescents by the use of outdated teenage practices? Focus, Alice. You're here for Bedward, not to note the amount of cool points your principal just lost.
"Mr. Schnapztailer, I've surveyed two hundred members of our high school, faculty and students alike, asking if they felt overworked, overstressed, or a combination of the two. Ninety-three percent of the surveyed population said that they, indeed, do feel one of the three options I mentioned earlier. We simply cannot function as a educational establishment if we are overstressed or overworked!"
My speech was partially true. I did ask the faculty and the student's those questions ... all ten of them. My speech seemed to be influencing Mr. Schnappy-poo, however. Creases of concern and deep thought showed themselves on his wide forehead.
"Mmm ... what do you suggest to alleviate this epidemic?" It was time to test the waters.
"If we had a dance of sorts, perhaps-"
"No! No no NO!" Sweet Jesus, someone wasn't open minded.
"What are your objections to having a dance?"
"I do not want teenagers gyrating their hips, getting drunk, fighting ... To condense a long list, I do not want any trouble at the wonderful Forks High School."
"I see your point. Perchance Rosalie Hale could display the positive aspects of a school dance?" I was pushing it with words more suitable to the 18th century or a business meeting. Hey, we have to convince him somehow, tough, don't we
In walked Rosalie, wearing the striped-blue blouse along with denim bermuda shorts, brown platform wedges, and a lacy tank top which exposed enough cleavage to be sexy, but not slutty. I am not yet sure of how that works out, but it does. Human beings are such strange creatures, aren't we? Anyway, Mr. S's eyes widened when he caught a sight of the lovely Rose. She really did have to be the most beautiful woman on Earth. Shame her personality was not a direct mirror of this. The bell had rung when she walked in, but Mr. S seemed too stunned to kick us out of his office.
"Hi, Mr. S. You've focused on the negative, now let's play with the positive! See, sir, if we had a school dance, the students would be able to blow some steam from the pressures of society. As the dance would be held at the school gymnasium, chaperones would ensure the lack of illicit activities occurring. A school dance is also a fantastic fundraiser! With the money earned from such an event, you could buy new bats for the baseball team, or whatever you feel is right for the school!"
Rosalie's smile sagged at the corners; such fake joy caused her pain. We sat patiently, awaiting an answer. The school should really replace these chairs; the stuffing is nonexistent. The wooden frame of the chair is cutting into my thighs. Mr. S still looks dazzled. Maybe I should speak up ...
"Uhm, sir? It's 8:15, 25 minutes since the bell rang. Do you have an answer for us?" He woke up from his stupor abruptly.
"Right. Yes, well, uhm, yeah, let's have a school dance...It should be illegal for a teenage girl to look so lovely," he muttered. Strangely, we were afflicted with a horrific case of being hard of hearing. He handed us a pass to first period, where Emmett and Jasper would be waiting for the news.
"So, what's the deal?" First period language arts was in disarray, as is the custom whenever we had a sub. Today, it was Mr. McKinley, a tall Jamaican man who was too absorbed with the inspection of his nail beds to care about the anarchy we were thrust in. This allowed us to gather together to hold a discussion on the status of Bedward.
"Schnapztailer agreed to the dance. I am not sure if that's a reliable yes, but I recorded it so that we have proof it's a yes."
"Someone remind me why I'm dating her?"
"I think that day when you asked her out at the beach, you were a bit smashed from all the strawberry daquiris you kept ordering. Who knew those things could be so damn alcoholic?"
"I thought you would, Rose. Don't you remember dancing on the bar, your shirt opened, tank top not hiding much? We were being followed by 3 different cars when we left. Edward had to go tell them that you were a transexual to get rid of them ... but not before he caught the whole thing on his phone and posted it on youtube. I think it's his most popular video."
"Wh-wha-what!? That smug bastard! Ack! Someone remind me why I'm helping him?!"
"Lots of reminding today, huh? Sweetheart, your helping him cause it's the right thing to do."
"So?! Since when have I cared about doing this so-called right thing?" Even now, her defensiveness was going down. The wonders of love, eih?
"Because if you give up now, we'll tell Edward and Bella that you were plotting against them." She sent me a scandalized glare. Odd combination, but it tends to happen.
"Why would he believe you? I could turn around and say you helped me."
"But you won't!"
"Why's that, Jasper?"
"Cause she's Alice. Forget that?" Having being successfully stumped (though I still don't see one reason to be scared of me), Rosie brought our attention back to Edward and Bella:
"So boys, how did the whole 'Eddie and Bells pretend to go out' plan go down?"
"Uh..."
"God, do I hate the combination of 'Uh' followed by a long pause and an exchanging of looks."
"See, the thing is, they are pretending to go out-" Emmett started.
"-but I've seen dead turtles give better performances," Jasper interrupted with. I groaned.
"What happened? Did Edward look like he wanted to blow the heads off everyone around him while Bella was bawling her eyes out?"
"Actually, they acted perfectly, which was their flaw." My visage must have portrayed confusion, since Emmett felt it was his responsibility to elaborate:
"They acted so well that it looked really stale and like they ripped it off from a movie. Therefore, in their acting-wellness, they completely fucked up the thing."
"It was a train wreck, really. Bella was over-excited and Eddie was displaying his less-than-fantastic character traits," Jazz added.
"You mean he was arrogant to the point of annoying?"
"Understatement, but for the sake of him, yes."
"So we're having a stupid school dance where drunken teenagers will accost each other on the dance floor in honor of two dumbasses who can't even pretend to like each other."
"No need to put it so bluntly, Rose."
"But it's true! You and I wasted our time on a middle-aged high school principal who will most likely stalk me from now on, just to have our plan fail once again!"
"I swear, if your eyes bulge out any further, Emmett may need to find a new f- Ahh!" Emmett grabbed the chair I was sitting in, and tipped it over to prevent me from saying anything else. He glared at me, trying to tell me without telling me vocally to shut up before I found myself drowning in squid. I got the message, getting up and sitting myself back in the chair. Rosalie's deranged expression was wiped off, replaced by a suspicious arched eyebrow.
"Find a new what, exactly?"
"Girlfriend."
"Ohkay ..." Woo. Let me just wipe the sweat off my face. That was a close call. She looks less suspicious, but still confused.
"Moving on," I said with a nervous titter, "uhm, as Rosalie was saying, what are we going to do about these two luckless fools?"
"What we've been doing before: pressuring them to get together."
"Thanks Jazz, that really helps."
"Rosalie's infiltrated your mind too!"
"No, I think that's Eddie's fault."
"Along with everything else?"
"Yeap."
"Moving on," I repeated firmly, "what are we going to do about them?"
"As I was saying, we should annoy them about their relations ... we reiterate our concerns about the lack of ... affection we see between the two, they pull off some outrageous scheme to prove their affection, and then we either let nature take it's course or laugh about Eddie and Bells behind their backs." The bell rang with the word 'Eddie'.
"I suppose we'll have to go with that idea for now ... see ya later."
"Oh God. I could die right now."
"Come on, Bella, let your feelings out, don't be shy. Alice and I are here to help."
"Since when do you help, Rose?"
"Since you and Edward are so damn blind..."
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Remember, let your feelings out." Oops. Forgot to tell you where we are. So here we are, in English with yet another sub. Again, this sub couldn't give two shits about what we do. Rosalie and I are taking advantage of Edward's current disappearance to interrogate Bella at length.
"What if I don't want to let my feelings out?"
"Alice."
"Huh?"
"Nothing, I was just threatening Bella."
"Oh thanks," Bella and I chorused.
"Start letting out, Bella dear."
"Fine," she reproached. She doesn't seem too happy with us ...
"We're waiting," I sung.
"What do you want? You can't expect me to-to read your minds, seeing what you want me to talk about!" Snippy, isn't she?
"That would be cool, but I guess we can't. What we want to discuss with you is quite obvious, however."
"No it's not! You can never make up your mind! You could be desiring the chance to talk about my favorite nail polish color or my relationship with Edward!"
"Hit the nail on the head, didn't she, Alice?" Bella looked perplexed at Rose's words.
"You wanna talk about my favorite nail polish color? I guess it wold be pink ..."
"No, you idiot," Rosalie snarled, rolling her eyes.
"So what are you tal-oh. Oh. Oh GOD. Look, can't we talk about that some other time," she pleaded.
"Why's that? Trouble in paradise," I suggested casually. Rosalie caught up with me.
"I find that hard to believe that that could be happening. I mean, you two are just so perfect for each other." She was a bit heavy on the 'so', yet still believable, as if she didn't know that Bella and Eddie hated each other right now.
"We are? But ... we're just friends."
"If that's true ... why are you going out with him then?"
"He asked me."
"You rejected every other guy who asked you."
"What is this, the Spanish freaking Inquisition? Fine, dammit, I said yes cause I think I may like him and I want to see how this works out!"
"So how is it turning out?"
"It's just like being friends with him, except I'm now his girlfriend." Disappointment echoed through her words.
"He's probably testing the water, just-" I stopped when Edward returned to the room. God, we still have 45 minutes left in class. Hey, maybe next period, Golden will be sick ... Time to stop dreaming, Alice. Edward planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Hey, my little sharkey. Oh. Hi Rose, Alice." He wrapped his arms around Bella's shoulders, who turned iridescently red. She shot us a furtive see-what-I-mean look. Edward's affection towards her had a bit of an aftertaste to it. He seemed a bit frustrated, and like she was more of a sister than anything else. Emmett and Jasper were right.
"Rosalie and I will leave you two alone," I announced, winking at them. Bella was turning a sickening yet captivating shade of purple-toned red.
"We are?" Rosalie was clearly wondering of my intentions.
"Yeah, we are." Shrugging, she stood up, and we walked out of the room, the substitute checking her horoscope. I led her towards the bathroom.
"Why are we here?"
"I need to make a phone call."
"You couldn't do that in the classroom? Miller wouldn't notice if the Incredible Hulk made a hole the size of the wall."
"No, but she would notice if Tom Sturridge walked through the door." We laughed at our stereotypically blonde sub.
"So, again, why can't you can't you call someone while we're with the sub?"
"It's not the sub I'm worried about; it's our star-crossed, lovestruck teenagers I'm hiding from." Her brow furrowed further.
"You really shouldn't do that, Rose. You'll get premature wrinkles, not that it'll affect your beauty, however..." I muttered the last part to myself. She didn't need to know of my petty jealousy.
"Ah, who cares about that? I'm still curious as to why I need to eavesdrop on your phone call." See? She doesn't even care about premature wrinkling! Ugh! Sometimes, it's quite frustrating to have Rosalie Hale as a constant factor in your life.
"It's not eavesdropping because it kinda concerns you. I'm calling Emmett and Jasper."
"Oh. Couldn't you say that earlier?"
"Not really. It goes against everything I believe in."
"Ohkay?... You may want to start dialing."
"Yeah yeah yeah, don't get your knickers in a twist. Don't forget, he has Golden now, so no guarantee as to if he will answer or not." Surprisingly, after the 3rd ring, he answered. I guess we have a sub in that class too. What a good day!
"Whassup, Alice?"
"Hey Emmett ... is Jasper there? Oh, and Rosalie says hi."
"I do? Well then, hi." A chuckle escaped my ursine brother.
"Hey babe. Jasper's there."
"Hi, Alice."
"So, whydya call us?"
"Giving you an update on Bella and Edwardino."
"How many stupid nicknames can that boy have?"
"Quite a bit, there's Edwardo, Edwardino, Edwardia-"
"Thanks for the list, Rose. Don't you wanna hear about the news?"
"Oh yeah, totally. Ignore Jasper, he's being a loser."
"Shut up, Emmett."
"Anyway, as I was saying, so Bella says that she is going out with him cause she 'kinda likes him, and wants to see how it would work out.' Then she says that being with him is just like being his friend."
"What about brother dearest?"
"He waltzed in, kissed Bella on the cheek, and his arm around her. He did it all in the same manner he does it with Rose and I, though, so he still isn't really acting romantically."
"Do we have to force him to play the piano in front of Bella?"
"Yes." Rosalie's voice, after her unusual silence, shocked me.
"See," she elaborated, "you know how Edward has written like, a shitload of compositions? If he played one for Bella (at our prompting, of course), Bella might be all 'wow, he really can do anything and is romantically/artistically inclined. Let's give him another chance.'"
"That's the first good idea that came out of your mouth," Jasper said after a moment's thought.
"Hey! Did you already forget about the Bella-falling-on-Edward plan?"
"Hey! Did you already forget about how that plan blew up in your face?"
"You're a real joy kill, Jazz, did you know that?"
"Children," I said with authority, "stop arguing. So we agree Rosalie's plan is good?"
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"Of course!"
"Rose, your opinion isn't needed. Alright, bye guys, see you at lunch."
"Later."
"Bye, darling."
A stall door opened. Oh crap. We forgot to check who was in the bathroom! Out walked Angela Webber, washing her hands in the sink.
"Hi, Angela," I nervously giggled. Dammit! Again with the nervous laughter!
"Hey Rosalie, Alice. So, I heard your conversation, and I just want to say that I didn't hear a thing, good luck with your plans, and you have 30 minutes to get back to class."
"Wow. Thanks, Angela." We walked out of the bathroom together, Angela going to math, Rosie and I harassing our lovebirds. The first we see when we walk into the room is that Bella is trying to strangle Edward, who looks quite calm because, let's face it, he must be used to it by now, and Bella's not very strong.
"Edward, why is your girlfriend throttling you to death?"
"Correction : trying to throttle me to death."
"Shut up, Edward!"
"So, why is she?"
"Because he was being a flirt again ... in front of me!" Bella let go of Edward's throat for a moment.
"Sigh. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, when will you learn to let go of your flirtatious ways?"
"Sigh. Ali, Ali, Ali, when will you learn not to call me that? I wasn't flirting with anyone, by the way. I just noticed that Jessica Stanley had straightened her hair and told her what a nice look it was on her."
"First things first : Eddie is your nickname, and there is no changing that. Secondly, what was your exact wording when complimenting Jessica's not-so-nice looking hair?"
"'Hey Jessica, here's your pen. Wow. Your hair looks good today.'"
"Oh, Bella, that's not too flirty ... actually, I think he kinda insulted her, by just calling it good today. That would imply her hair doesn't look good on other days."
"Only you could twist my words like that, Rose."
"It's what I do, Eddie-poo. Now, Bella, how did you perceive that as flirty?" Right on cue, her face was red in color. She's like a giant tomato with legs and hair.
"...I don't want to go into it." Bella tried to hide behind her curtain of hair.
"Aww, my little snarky-salad-eating-sharkey, did you feel jealous?"
"What?! No!"
"It's ohkay, my dear. I know how hard it is to go out with someone as amazing as I!"
"Oh, shut up," and, to our surprise, she stood on tiptoe and planted a kiss on his lips. Bella then grabbed her bag, winked back, walking off to class, leaving Edward, Rosie, and myself in shock. Who knew Bella Swan could be so bold?
Ahh! First time updating in like, a million years! Hey, who here's still reading this/new beginning? I may not update that until i finish this/start school. I just want to say hi, and I really miss my unofficial (until now) review team: paperblumen, bellaXXtheXXklutz, and the ninjafrommars! Come back you guys! Was last chapter really that bad?
Love,
abroadwayluver