Disclaimer: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco.
Authoress' Other Notes: I am so sorry for taking so long to update. If you have looked at my profile, you should have an idea why. Long story short, I am swamped this semester and the class that is giving me trouble is one I need in order to graduate. But anyways, here is chapter 13, a bit short but complete.
Thanks to Random Reviewer (In a way, yes, Cantabile is talking about that. But her words hold multiple meanings to it as much do everything else in this fic.), The Fools Arcana, and Sapphire-sama Dreamer for reviewing. Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.
Awakening
"How much longer until the cocoon fades away…?" I pondered as I lifted my head up in search of a window to look through inside of my cell. However, such comforts of a connection to the outside world were lacking here. No melodic chirping of songbirds nor the gentle rustling of leaves could reach me here. Only the cold, hard sound of boots clinking upon the cement floors as the guards made their routine patrols across the compound made it to my ears. My fists clench the bars and I let out a desperate, animalistic growl.
Chapter 13: Seeds of Distrust
A loud splash off in the distance reached my ears as the Kaiser Dist robot was sent flying overboard and I smiled secretly to myself, knowing that it was not over yet for the flamboyant God General.
"He'll be back eventually. How unfortunate," Jade commented.
"Eh! You mean he survived that!" Anise exclaimed in surprise.
"Like a phoenix that rises from its ashes," I mumbled softly, still in a bit of a daze.
"I was thinking more along the lines of a cockroach's relentless persistence," the colonel retorted before shifting his gaze over to me.
"Now then, I shall inspect the bridge," Jade informed the party but grabbed me by the arm to drag me along with him. I realized that his words were a lie when he stopped inside of some random, empty room, that was clearly not the bridge. Various wooden boxes were stacked on top of another and metal round barrels led me to believe this was a storage room.
I guess I should consider myself lucky for managing to get out of an interrogation by Jade up until now. I figured that I should at least make myself comfortable as I situated my body on one of the crates.
"Now, where to begin? Frankly, I don't trust you and it is only the wishes of the Fon Master that allows you to continue your farce. From a woman parading around as a man to a fake Oracle Knight, what are you goals?" Jade said coldly, like my body was dosed in icy water. I think I preferred the talk with Ion than this.
"For the record, I never claimed to be a man. You all assumed that I was one, including yourself I must say."
"You're avoiding the question at hand," he scolded, in a different tone from the one he used for Luke. This one was much more harsh.
"My will is my own and I have only acted out upon it, nothing else holds sway over me," I said defiantly, certain that there was probably a feral look in my eyes. Not anymore…I will not be anyone else's dog. This life of mine belongs to me, and no one else shall steal it from me.
I jumped down off the crate and landed onto my feet. With one final look at the colonel's crimson eyes, I walked out of the room without another word. Not anything I say will make a difference anyways…
Nobody was out on the deck when I returned to it, I leaned my body against the metal railing as I watched the waves crash against the ferry. It did not bother me since I have always been alone my entire life, inadvertedly shutting everyone else away.
"You are never alone…" Cantabile said firmly from behind me. Her appearances have ceased to catch me off guard.
"Why are you following me?"
"Because you need me," she grinned, her shiny white teeth gleaming.
"Who are you?" I narrowed my eyes in scrutiny.
"You should know the answer to that by now. My form matters not. Though, this is rather a fun disguise to play with," the Sixth Division commander chuckles at her roundabout response.
"Why can't no one else see you?"
"Does a tree make a sound when it falls in an abandoned forest?…Close your eyes for a moment," she commanded softly, her hands completely covering my eyes.
"What do you feel?" Cantabile asked and my mouth opened on its own strength as I seriously contemplated her words. Nothing, there was nothing, not even the light touch of her hands upon my face.
"…what does this mean?" I asked hesitantly, fearful of the answer I might receive.
"Haven't you wondered…? As to why nothing seems to harm you here, why your senses are dull to the world around you now?" she whispers mysteriously, eyes shining with secret knowledge.
"Yes…" I take a deep breath, almost a gasp at her ability to understand the thoughts plaguing my mind.
"Lia!" I heard another voice call out and her image flickered, like a fuzzy reception on a television screen.
"So, there's still some lingering hesitation…" Cantabile mumbles before she vanishes.
"Luke…" I said softly as I turned to face him as thoughts of Cantabile placed me into a stupor.
"You must be excited as you finally get to return home," I said cheerfully but even so, the frown I had would not vanish from my face. The Sixth Division Commander's presence had taken me off guard and now my carefully constructed mental shields were down.
"I guess," Luke shrugged, his lips turning downwards to match my expression.
"Why so sad? I thought you couldn't wait to get back," I readjusted the thick framed glasses that sat on my face.
"That's not it. What is Master Van planning?" my jaw unconsciously dropped as his blunt question sent me into shock. I inwardly winced at my brief moment of weakness, setting my lips into a thin line.
"What do you mean?" I tried to feign ignorance but his eyes narrowed, telling me that he did not buy it.
"I may not be a genius like Jade but I'm not a complete idiot as everyone thinks I am. You are Master Van's assistant and you hang around the God Generals so I doubt that you are clueless to his plans," he explained, a bit angrily. I almost corrected Luke that it was only one God General in particular but thought better of it as he probably was not in the mood for my jokes.
"How about you start by telling me what he told you on the ferry?" Luke's shoulders slumped a bit, not as tense as before, and his expression softened.
"How do you know about that?" he asked quietly in disbelief.
"Regardless, what Van promises you is lies. If you wish to be his pawn, then by all means follow him obediently but know this, you cannot change the past, no matter how much you beg or cry out to the heavens. So you best think about what you care about most because I promise you, if you let him, he will rob it from you without hesitation," I did not know if this would change Luke's mind about Akzeriuth but I had to try. Somehow, I will find a way to turn all of Van's puppets against him. Once then, maybe I will be permitted to return home.
It has been so long that I have started to forget the faces of my family and friends. The soft, kind face of my father and the gentle curves of my mother…
"Why are you crying?" Luke asks. How odd, I had not even noticed tears sliding down my face. Reaching my hand to touch my cheek, I could not sense any watery residue.
My answer was cut off by a loud bellow of the ship's horn. I presume that it meant we have arrived at our destination, the dock of Baticul.
"Are you ready?" I said to him as the bridge extended out until the end rested on top of the wooden dock. The others emerged form the lower decks and I remained silent as they silently observed me, with looks of distrust clearly displayed on their faces. I brought up the back of the group as we departed from the ship so I did not have to feel their stares.
A Kimlascan military escort was waiting, General Cecille and Commander Goldberg stood in front of a handful of ordinary soldiers.
"I am glad that you have returned safely," Goldberg greeted in a low voice.
I looked down at the small reflecting pool of water amidst the abyss of nothingness. The deep, untouchable depths of the mind, I smirked. Except for me.
Beneath the watery depths, there laid the rigid figure of her, breathless, from what I could make out in such a dim and dark landscape. I never liked this place so much.
I sent out a curious hand to reach down and touch her, as if to ascertain that she was really there. Cool water encased my arm with its soft caress.
"Don't touch her," a voice spoke and my arm immediately shot back up, taken aback by the figure that appeared. A child-like, cherubic girl, who resembles her.
"She is not ready yet," she speaks, clutching a small bunny plush in her arms.
"You are?" I demand and she replies with an irritating, high pitch giggle.
"Silly. If you don't know then I'm not telling you…isn't that what you told her?" she tilted her head as a grin spread on her face. I see…it must be…
"She's more broken than I originally thought," I said after a moment's pause.
"If that's how you see it…but it's much more than that."
"Then how do you perceive it?" I said, annoyed at this child presuming to know more than me.
"A caterpillar's journey. Yet, you seem to want to rush the process by forcing an epiphany when it is not the time…" she answered, her eyes shining with a sense of wisdom beyond her years.
"You-," I started but was instantly cut off.
"You have interfered just as much as I. If you allow her to blossom immaturely then you might as well forget about ever finding your way out of that cell you live in."
"Haven't I done enough!" I yelled at her, pulling back the sleeves of my current costume to reveal various bruises and cuts.
"You took that burden upon yourself in order to shield her and if you release her while still ignorant, then you might as well write the death wish," she answered coldly.
A set of gorgeous Russian dolls. Open one to expose another hiding inside.
But, until what point will the dolls run out? Nothing can be divided indefinitely.
And who will put all the parts back together, until it becomes an unified figure once more?
In that moment of cohesion…you will be set free at last.