Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. It's taken longer than anticipated for me to get back to Grovel and his friends, but the legend lives on! I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 13—The Legend Saves the World, Momentarily

Nathyrra stood before the Temple of Lolth and took a shuddering breath. She raised her arm to push the door open, but she couldn't bring herself to make contact with the cold, harsh stone. Beside her, Tree Branch was digging into the dirt with her toe, this small gesture masking a massive internal imbalance that could burst forth at any moment, likely with disastrous consequences for anyone nearby. Losing Deekin had been a great blow to her already disturbed psyche, and her newly developed twitches were both concerning and terrifying.

Nathyrra was startled out of contemplating Tree Branch's mental state by a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Valen looking down at her, attempting to smile. "It will be all right," he said, and he gave her shoulder a squeeze that he clearly meant to be comforting, but it was so firm it made Nathyrra's eyes water from the pain.

"No, Valen," she said tightly. "It won't be all right."

Valen sighed. "I know. I just thought that saying it might somehow make it true. It always seems to for those cheerful, optimistic heroes in the stories," he grumbled.

Nathyrra smiled as he removed his hand and turned away. Well, bless his cynical heart, she thought. Maybe something from Zorvak Mur did rub off on him after all. Her smile fell, however, as she faced the door again. She took another deep breath to steel herself, but her hand remained frozen in the air.

"Umm, is there something wrong with the door, guys? If there are magical wards on it, I should be able to dispel them for you, no problem!"

Nathyrra cringed as Lavoera's squeaky voice filled the silence, and Valen groaned. Tree Branch sucked in her cheeks and turned to face the deva. "There is nothing wrong with the door, you imbecile," the druid snapped. "Nathyrra is simply reluctant to open it because when she does, she will have to inform the leader of her people that the creature who was foretold to be their savior has vanished into thin air. This, combined with her earlier failure regarding the Mirror of All-Seeing, is likely to make her leader extremely angry, and even good drow are quite fearsome when they are angry."

"Oh," Lavoera said, deflated by Tree Branch's words and hideous facial expression. "Isn't there anything I can do?"

"Yes," Tree Branch gritted out between clenched teeth. "You can SHUT UP! And if you attempt to use any of your foul planar magic I shall club you until you can no longer do so!" The druid brandished her weapon, and the deva's wings twitched nervously.

"That's enough, you two," Nathyrra commanded, though inwardly she thanked Tree Branch for silencing their obnoxious companion. She placed her hand firmly on the door. "It's time to get this over with," she muttered, and she pushed the door open.

The scene that greeted her was one she never in her wildest dreams would have expected. The Seer was seated on the dais in the center of the temple, the focal point as always, and she was staring in that serene way of hers at Grovel and Deekin, arguing at her feet. It was difficult for Nathyrra to tell what it was they were arguing about since Deekin was trying, and failing, to tune his lute while Grovel was loudly smacking dust off of his cloak. The only phrases that carried above the din were "Stupid Sojourner Goblin," "Nasty Kobold," and "death," but Nathyrra truly didn't care what they were arguing about. The fact that they were arguing at all meant that a miracle had happened. "Eilistraee be praised," she breathed.

"By the Balance!" Tree Branch murmured at her side.

"They're alive?" asked Valen, bewildered beyond belief.

At this moment, Grovel, oblivious to the new arrivals, snatched Deekin's lute and smacked the poor kobold on the head. "Grovel isn't any Sojourner, Nasty Kobold, no, no, no! How can Grovel be Sojourner, huh, huh? Grovel doesn't even know what Sojourner means!"

"Stupid Sojourner Goblin's limited vocabulary doesn'ts means Reaper Ghost be wrong!" Deekin yelled back, grabbing the body of his lute and yanking as hard as he could.

"Grovel doesn't want to talk about creepy ghost thing, no, no, no!" Grovel screamed, clutching the instrument's neck firmly.

"Gentlemen, please," the Seer cut in, thoroughly confusing the two humanoids who had never been referred to as gentlemen in their lives. "We have some visitors who are, I believe, quite eager to see you."

Deekin took one look at them and forgot all about his lute. "Boss be back! Huzzah!" he cried, and he rushed over to Tree Branch and wrapped his arms around the gnome's leg.

The normally stoic druid actually looked as though she might cry, but she didn't, instead placing a hand on Deekin's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "It is good to see you again, my friend," she said, her voice shaking with the emotions she was desperately trying to keep in check.

Nathyrra, for her part, couldn't take her eyes off of Grovel. She never thought she'd see those beady little eyes again. He began to shuffle over in his ill-fitting boots, but Nathyrra couldn't stand to wait for him. She ran up to him, picked him up, and clutched him to her chest. "Oh, Grovel!" she managed through sudden tears. "I can't tell you how happy I am to see you here, alive and well!"

"Yes, yes, yes, Grovel is alive, alive and well," the goblin muttered, his head smashed into the drow's shoulder. "Drow Lady's armor is very dirty, though, yes, yes, yes, very dirty, very dirty. Would Drow Lady like Grovel to clean her armor, yes? No? Maybe?"

Nathyrra held Grovel at arm's length and beamed at him. "Yes, Grovel, yes, yes, yes!"

"But how?" Valen asked the room at large. Everyone stared at him, Grovel's feet dangling in the air. "How did the two of you get here?! And where is Vix'thra?!"

Deekin's eyes lit up at the prospect of telling what was sure to be an epic tale, but at the sound of the dracolich's name Grovel began to whimper. Before either of them could answer Valen, however, the Seer rose. "I have been able to piece together most of their story, good Valen, but we must save it until later. Just before your arrival, Imloth reported that his scouts have seen the Valsharess's forces approaching Lith My'athar. He estimates that they will reach here by midday tomorrow. We must prepare ourselves for this attack. And you, Grovel, Eilistraee's Savior, must prepare to lead us."

Anticipating what was about to happen, Nathyrra tightened her grip on the goblin, and as if on cue, he let out a yelp of anguish and fainted.

Grovel banged his head on the table and moaned in frustration and pain. "Grovel's no general, no, no, no. Seer Lady is nice, yes, yes, yes, but Grovel thinks she's wrong about this, very wrong, very, very wrong."

Deekin plucked absently at his lute and stared at the charts and maps spread out before them. "Deekin nots be inclined to agrees with Stupid Sojourner Goblin on principle, but Deekin thinkings yous probably rights."

Grovel lifted his head and grimaced. "What did Grovel say about Nasty Kobold calling him Sojourner, huh, huh, huh?" he snapped.

"Deekin not understands why, but Reaper Ghost seems like a very wise ghost, so he probably be right about Stupid Goblin beings Sojourner. Deekin just goings with the flow."

Grovel growled at him, balled up one of the papers in front of him, and threw it at the kobold's head. Then he stared at the rest of the papers and sighed. The grumpy demon man had brought these to him and told him to study them. Grovel needed to be prepared to lead the drow army in the morning, but when the grumpy demon man said words like "maneuvers" and "flanking," Grovel could feel his eyes glazing over. Seeing this, the grumpy demon man stormed out, cursing profusely, leaving Grovel with no one but Deekin to help him figure out what on earth he was supposed to do. The nice drow lady and the druid lady were both busy with their own preparations, he knew, and thinking of them made Grovel feel guilty. They had both been so kind to him throughout his unlikely adventure, particularly the nice drow lady, who had seemed so pleased to see him alive. Never in his life had Grovel met anyone who had actually been pleased to see him. Grovel found he quite liked that feeling, and it made him determined to help save the nice drow lady and her people. Somehow. If he could ever figure out what these symbols meant…

Deekin took the paper Grovel had been staring at and turned it around. "Stupid Sojourner Goblin might haves better luck if yous not trying to reads it upside down, maybe," the kobold said as gently as he knew how.

Grovel looked down at the paper again, but he was dismayed to find his comprehension unimproved. He slammed his head onto the table once more. "Grovel is not Grovel the Great, no, no, no. More like Grovel the Hopeless, yes, yes, yes."

He felt Deekin's paw patting him on the back. "There, there, Stupid Sojourner Goblin. Yous not be totally hopeless. If yous are, wes all goings to dies, and Deekin nots be ready to dies yet."

Grovel wasn't sure if this statement was meant to be comforting, but he certainly didn't feel comforted. He raised his head to say so, but any words he had been about to say were replaced by a blood-curdling scream. There, standing on the other side of the table, was the evil drow lady, the one he had seen and screamed at in his dreams. Now, he was screaming at her in person, and he found he much preferred the dreams. He brandished Enserric at her and yelled, "Back, back, back, Evil Drow Lady! You not hurt Grovel and Grovel's Nasty Kobold Friend, no, no, no!"

The evil drow lady rolled her eyes. "Silence, gol," she said in her commanding voice that made Grovel want to prostrate himself on the floor in terror. "I am not here to hurt you or your kuma friend. I am just here to talk."

"Wells, that be a good thing, Deekin supposes," said the kobold, inching closer to Grovel. "Umm, how exactlys dids Evil Drow Lady gets here?"

"She is not actually here, you moronic humanoids," Enserric announced, causing the evil drow lady to stare at the sword with great interest. "What you idiots see before you is an illusion, projected from wherever the woman actually resides." Deekin nodded in understanding, while Grovel failed to understand how the sword's words made any sense at all.

"Your sword is correct, gol," said the evil drow lady, apparently addressing Grovel. "I am the Valsharess, and I have a proposal for you."

"Deekin be confused. Evil Drow Lady wants to marrys Stupid Sojourner Goblin?"

This suggestion nearly caused Grovel to pass out, but thankfully the Valsharess quickly clarified her intentions. "No, insolent kuma, I do not wish to marry the surfacer gol. I simply have an offer I wish to discuss with him." She turned to Grovel and smiled a smile that made the goblin's skin crawl. "It would be nice to have a name to put to your charming little face," she said, her voice sickeningly sweet.

Grovel, paralyzed by shock and fear, did not respond, so Deekin answered for him. "This be Grovel, Evil Drow Lady. He sometimes calls himself Grovel the Great, and he also answers to Stupid Goblin and, more recentlys, Stupid Sojourner Goblin. And I be Deekin Scalesinger, most famous kobold bard. Has Evil Drow Lady ever heards of Deekin, maybe, or reads Deekin's famous book, Shadows of Undrentide?"

As the Valsharess looked at Deekin incredulously, Grovel finally found his voice. "Grovel's read Nasty Kobold's book, yes, yes, yes. It's actually very good, very good, very! A bit hard to read in places, but that's mostly because Grovel vomited all over his copy, yes, yes, yes."

"Aww, Deekin not knows Stupid Sojourner Goblin actually reads his book! Deekin so happy!"

The kobold beamed at him. Grovel smiled back. The Valsharess threw her hands up in disgust. "Silence, surfacers!" she screamed, and Grovel and Deekin immediately stopped smiling. "You, gol," she said, pointing menacingly at Grovel, "have somehow, against impossible odds, bent the vast forces of the Underdark to your will. I cannot even begin to imagine how you accomplished this feat, but you are clearly a surfacer of great power. As such, I think I would rather be your ally than your enemy."

Silence fell over the room for several moments, and it was finally broken by the sound of uncontrollable laughter coming from Grovel's sword. "Shut up, sword," the goblin muttered, but Enserric did not comply, and Grovel found it difficult to fault him.

"Umm, Evil Drow Lady be jokings, maybe?" Deekin asked. "Because that be the only thing that makes sense to Deekin."

"Grovel agrees, yes, yes, yes," the goblin nodded in confusion. Enserric began to wheeze.

The Valsharess, visibly infuriated by their reaction, took a deep breath to compose herself, and her sickening smile returned. "No, surfacers, I am not joking," she said, her voice lower, and she stepped closer to Grovel. "An alliance between us would be highly profitable for us both." She was very close to Grovel now, close enough for him to smell her exotic perfume. She leaned over him, her voluptuous chest level with his eyes. "Surely I have plenty to offer?" she purred.

Grovel stared at the bosom in front of him, thoroughly confused. The Valsharess's perfume did not smell good to him, and he started choking on the fumes. "Evil Drow Lady smells terrible, yes, yes, yes, not clean, not clean at all," he finally managed. "Grovel likes things clean, yes, yes, yes, Grovel does. Does Evil Drow Lady ever bathe, yes? No? Maybe?"

This question sent Enserric cackling once again, and the Valsharess screamed in fury. "You dare insult the Valsharess, insolent gol?!" she shrieked. "So be it! You and all your friends shall perish by my hand, and I will make your death exceptionally painful!" And with a flash of blue light, the illusion disappeared.

Enserric continued to laugh, but Grovel began to wail. "Grovel doesn't want to die, no, no, no!" Despondent, he tossed his sword aside and buried his face in his paws.

Deekin came to his side and placed a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Don'ts be sad, Stupid Sojourner Goblin," he said. "You nots be very smarts, but you's somehow manage to survives down here, much longer than Deekin ever woulds have guessed. You is goings to be fine."

"No, no, no, Nasty Kobold," Grovel moaned, "not this time. Grovel has seen Evil Drow Lady before, in his dreams, yes, yes, Grovel has. Grovel knows how powerful she is, very, very powerful, and she's not alone, no, no, no! She has a big, scary devil with her, yes, yes, yes, and so Grovel is doomed, yes, Grovel is, doomed, doomed, doomed!"

Deekin was too stunned by the goblin's revelation to be upset by his half-hearted rendition of the kobold's trademarked song. "Evil Drow Lady has big scary devil workings for her? Why didn'ts yous tells us sooner, Stupid Stupid Sojourner Goblin?!"

"Grovel didn't realize Evil Drow Lady in his dreams was the same Evil Drow Lady we were fighting, no, no, no, Grovel didn't. Lots of drow ladies are evil, after all, lots of them, lots! And now this Evil Drow Lady is going to kill Grovel, yes, yes, yes, she is."

Deekin was silent for a moment, and then Grovel felt the kobold's grip on his shoulder suddenly tighten. "Deekin not wants Stupid Sojourner Goblin to die!" he cried. "Deekin not likes you when wes first meets, and Deekin still thinks you be pretty useless mosts of the times, but yous still be Deekin's friend, and Deekin doesn't wants you to dies. And if you be rights abouts the devil thing, you is mosts definitely goings to dies! We all most definitely goings to dies!" And with that the kobold bard burst into tears and buried his face into Grovel's neck.

Grovel, unaccustomed to anyone showing any concern for his wellbeing, was too shocked at first to say anything, but finally he threw his weak little arms around Deekin and hugged him as tightly as he could. "Grovel doesn't want Nasty Kobold to die, either, no, no, no!" he choked out, and they both stood there sobbing into each other's arms until they passed out from exhaustion.

From the doorway, three pairs of eyes watched the goblin and kobold collapse onto the floor, just as they had watched the encounter with the Valsharess's illusion. They were too stunned by the events they had just witnessed to say anything at first, but Tree Branch finally broke the silence. "So this Valsharess of yours has an archdevil on her side, does she?"

"Honestly, I still can't get past the fact that she tried to seduce Grovel," Valen said in disbelief.

Nathyrra smirked and elbowed him gently, but her question for him was serious. "Does this mean the Valsharess commands a host of devils along with the rest of her allies?"

"That seems unlikely," Valen replied. "She probably struck a bargain with a single archdevil, based on Grovel's description. His power is probably what has enabled her to track our movements, why she always seems to be one step ahead of us."

Tree Branch spat in disgust, her close proximity to Nathyrra causing her to hit the drow's boots. "Just what we needed, more planar interference."

Nathyrra frowned, both at their increasingly perilous predicament and at her saliva-stained shoes. "Have you ever fought an archdevil before, Valen?" she asked, faintly hopeful in spite of everything. Valen grimly shook his head.

"In that case," said Tree Branch solemnly, "I fear Deekin may be correct. Tomorrow, we all may die."

Nathyrra looked out at Grovel and Deekin, now snoring on the ground. Even with all of the inexplicable progress they had made recruiting allies and weakening the Valsharess's forces, this could very likely be the last night they would all be together. "If that's true," she said softly, surprised by how hard it was to keep her voice from breaking, "then I just want to say how happy I've been these past few weeks, happier than I ever was in House Kantar or with the Red Sisters. It has been an honor to fight by your sides, and if it is Eilistraee's will that tomorrow I die, I will be proud to die alongside my friends."

She wrapped her arms around her companions' shoulders, which was quite a feat of acrobatics considering that Valen was a least a foot taller than she was and Tree Branch a foot shorter. She was sure she made an awkward sight, with her left arm stretching uncomfortably to reach Valen's shoulder, her left foot on tiptoe, and her right knee bent to Tree Branch's level, but she didn't care. She took a deep breath and let the tears fall.

Tree Branch squirmed under her grip and cleared her throat. "I believe, drow, that I have already discussed my philosophy of friendship with you. Just to be clear, our friendship was terminated the moment I rang the gong and gained entrance into the vampires' temple."

Nathyrra looked down at the gnome and laughed through her tears. "I know, Tree Branch, I know." She pulled the druid to her in a side-armed embrace. Tree Branch grimaced and mumbled what was likely a string of curses in gnomish, but she did not pull away.

"Nathyrra…" Valen began, and when Nathyrra turned to look at him there was something in his expression that she had never seen before. His brilliant blue eyes met hers with an intensity that was for once free of hostility or anger. His mouth was slightly open, as though he had been about to speak but had at the last moment forgotten the words. He slowly reached his own arm around her waist, pulling her close to him so that they were all caught up in a ridiculous-looking horizontal hug. Nathyrra beamed up at him, and Valen gave her a small smile in return.

The magical moment was broken by the shrill voice of everyone's least-favorite deva. "Hello? Is anyone else still awake? Golly, you primes go to bed early!"

Drow, tiefling, and gnome looked over their shoulders in unison.

"Blasted idiot angel," Tree Branch gritted through her teeth.

"Now seems to be a good time for a stealthy retreat," Valen said, unable to keep a hint of sarcasm from his voice.

"Agreed, General Shadowbreath," said Nathyrra, giving him a playful wink as she removed her arms from her comrades. "I'll see you all in the morning," she whispered as she faded back into the shadows.

Tree Branch shuffled off, and Nathyrra also moved to leave, but she was stopped by Valen's arm still wrapped around her waist. She raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, and he quickly pulled back his hand, dropping his gaze to the ground. Nathyrra wasn't sure if it was just her infravision taking over in the darkness, but she could have sworn Valen's cheeks were red. "Good night, Valen," she whispered as she walked past him towards her room.

"Good night, my lady," he whispered back, and he rushed off in the opposite direction, as if he was anxious to get away from her. Nathyrra found his behavior puzzling, but then she hadn't been acting like herself tonight either. The knowledge of one's likely imminent death could cause one to behave in strange ways, she reasoned. If they were both still alive this time tomorrow, maybe she would ask him what it was he had been about to say.

Grovel woke up the next morning on the floor to find Deekin standing over him. "Comes on, Stupid Sojourner Goblin," the kobold cried, slinging his lute over his shoulder. "We is goings to haves our battle now. Deekin be feeling surprisingly optimistic abouts our chances, but Deekin dids just drinks an entire bottle of ale, so that might haves somethings to do with it. Hic!"

Grovel just stared at his tipsy kobold friend and began to cry.

It was not the last time he would cry this day. He cried when the Seer gave him a tiny, enchanted leather vest to protect him in the coming battle. He cried as he cleaned the nice drow lady's boots, which were covered in saliva for some reason. He cried when the drow commander asked him to give a speech to the troops before the battle, and he cried some more as the grumpy demon man pulled him off the palisades so that his weeping would not further damage the soldiers' morale. No, the day was not starting off very well at all.

And then the battle began, and somehow Grovel's day improved. For one thing, he stopped crying. He had to because of all the running he was doing. There was no way he was going to fight all those drow, mind flayers, and beholders streaming up to the city gates, no, no, no. But Grovel also couldn't run away if his eyes were so watery he couldn't see where he was going, so his remarkable self-preservation instincts kicked in and stopped his tears. He ran and ran, all the way back to the city, to the docks on the far side, where the scary boat ghost usually was. Thankfully, he was not there at the moment, so Grovel stopped running and fell to his knees, taking huge gulps of air.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps, and his beady yellow eyes widened in horror at the sight of two drow soldiers walking down the dock, their weapons drawn. The two men froze when they saw him, but then the first one began to laugh. "For Lloth's sake, it's just a puny gol."

His companion was more cautious. "I'm not sure," he said, keeping his sword at the ready. "He's awfully well equipped for a surfacer gol. I mean, look at that hat! Have you ever seen anything so garish?"

Grovel absently tugged at the feather drooping down by his ear. "Grovel thinks his hat is quite dashing, yes, yes, yes," he mumbled, more to himself than to his two opponents.

"It speaks!" the first soldier cried mockingly. "Who would have thought?" He walked menacingly up to Grovel, whose legs began to tremble. "Would you care to tell me your name before I kill you, gol?"

Grovel just screamed.

The drow soldier raised his sword, but before he could use it to end the poor goblin's life, a crossbow bolt embedded itself into his forehead.

"His name be Stupid Sojourner Goblin, Evil Dying Drow Man!"

Grovel turned around to see his nasty kobold friend behind him, and he felt more annoyed than anything. "No, no, no," he fumed, "how many times does Grovel have to tell you, Nasty Kobold? Grovel is not this 'Sojourner,' no, no, no!"

"Actually, his name is Grovel the Great, and we're here to rescue him."

Grovel stared in amazement as the nice drow lady materialized out of nowhere, accompanied by the druid lady and the grumpy demon man. The nice drow lady winked at him, and her hands glowed as she prepared to cast a spell at the remaining drow soldier. Grovel, feeling emboldened by the presence of his friends, drew Enserric from his sheath and smiled.

Nathyrra's magic missiles struck true, and the soldier staggered backwards. She made to run onto the dock to finish him off with her rapier, but Valen grabbed her arm. "Careful, everyone," he barked. "There may be more of them."

Tree Branch shoved past him, striking his knee in a way Grovel felt sure was deliberate. "I, for one, am counting on it," she said grimly, and she let out a truly terrifying gnomish war cry.

Valen was correct. There was a whole company of drow soldiers trying to sneak into the city through the docks, but for once in his life Grovel was not afraid. Maybe it was Tree Branch's fearless screams, or the magic power of Deekin's terrible song, or maybe it was Nathyrra's wink; whatever it was, Grovel drew from it a strength and courage he had never known, and he did not run away. He fought alongside his friends and even killed a few soldiers himself, much to the delight of Enserric and the surprise of everyone else. They fought and fought, and finally there was no one left to fight. Grovel was still standing with the others, staring in shock at the bodies at his feet.

Nathyrra swept him off his feet and into a tight hug. "We did it!" she cried, and she kissed the top of his head. Grovel felt an unfamiliar feeling in his stomach. He was worried he might vomit all over the nice drow lady, but he was suddenly distracted by something trickling down his cheek. "What is this, what, what, what?" he grumbled as he scrubbed at his face. He held his paw close to his eyes so he could see the liquid. It was blood, his blood, and Grovel gave a strangled scream and fainted.

When Grovel finally awoke, he was in a place he had never been before. The room was dark and cave-like, but it was not a cave. The walls and floor were smooth, and there were torches all around. Water dripped ominously from the ceiling, and Grovel shivered, not from cold but from fear. For everywhere he looked there were evil drow ladies. Evil drow ladies kneeling in prayer. Evil drow ladies carved on the walls. And one very familiar, very evil drow lady watching him from a raised platform, smirking at him.

Naturally, Grovel screamed and turned to run, but he did not get very far. Though he could not see anything in front of him, he felt as though he had run straight into a brick wall. And so Grovel found himself flat on his back with a splitting headache, thoroughly terrified and confused.

"See, Deekin tolds yous he was goings to try to runs! Evil Drow Lady owes Deekin fifty gold."

Grovel's eyes focused on his nasty kobold companion and fixed him with the fiercest glare he could muster under the circumstances, while behind him the Valsharess chuckled. "If I had any intention of letting you live, kuma, I would of course honor my wager. But since I do not…" Her voice trailed off into a laugh that set Grovel shivering again.

The goblin pushed himself up slowly and pulled his cloak tightly around himself. "Grovel is very confused, yes, yes, yes," he said to no one in particular. "Where is Grovel, where, where? How did Grovel get here, how, how? Why is Nasty Kobold making bets about Grovel, why, why, why?"

The Valsharess laughed again. "You are within my fortress, of course, brought here by the power of the archdevil bound to my service." She gestured behind her, and Grovel could indeed see a very large archdevil chained to the far wall. It took everything in his power not to faint once more.

While Grovel was struggling to maintain consciousness, Deekin continued the story. "Seer Lady's troops weres makings greats progress, and Drow Lady says we should brings Stupid Sojourner Goblin with us so he coulds witness our victory when he wakes up. So Deekin was sittings away from the fightings, guardings Stupid Sojourner Goblin and organizings Boss's potions in her bag, when Deekin sees strange lights glowings all around Stupid Sojourner Goblin. Deekin tries to gets somebody's attention, but everyone else's too busy fightings, so Deekin grabs onto Stupid Sojourner Goblin's boot, and Deekin starts glowings, too. And now, Deekin and Stupid Sojourner Goblin be here, in Evil Drow Lady's house." Deekin spread his hands wide and gestured all around him. "She teleports Stupid Sojourner Goblin here with help of Big Bad Devil Man, and he makes giant invisible bubble arounds us. Deekin already tries to escape," he rubbed a bruise on his snout, "and Deekin figures Stupid Sojourner Goblin woulds trys, too. And that be tale of where Stupid Sojourner Goblin is, how he gets here, and how Deekin makes an easy fifty gold."

Grovel was not pleased by any of this, least of all by Deekin's attempt to make a profit off of his cowardice, and he dropped his face into his hands and began to wail. The noise made the Valsharess wince, and she brought her hands up to her ears. "I had intended to make you suffer before Mephistopheles destroyed the rebels, but this sound you are making is too horrible to bear. Mephistopheles!" she shouted at the archdevil. "I command you to bring this wretched creature a swift, yet agonizing death… I wish to watch, and enjoy."

Grovel sobbed into his paws. So this was how it all would end. No more smiles from Nice Drow Lady. No more listening to Nasty Kobold's terrible songs. No more Grovel the Great…

And then the Big Bad Devil Man (his name was far too complicated for Grovel to remember, so he automatically adopted Deekin's nickname) spoke, and his words changed everything. "I shall not do as you desire, great Valsharess," he said in a voice so low and powerful that it made the floor rumble. "Instead… instead I shall slay your precious Red Sisters."

Grovel raised his head to see total chaos surrounding him. The evil drow ladies he had seen kneeling before were all collapsing on the ground, writing in pain. The Valsharess was shrieking in a language Grovel couldn't understand and brandishing her red, glowing whip at Mephistopheles, who was simply laughing his rumbling laugh. Grovel felt a strange energy pulse in the air around him and yelped as Deekin dragged him to his feet. "Quickly, Stupid Sojourner Goblin! Big Bad Devil Man has dispelleds our prison. We needs to kills Evil Drow Lady befores he changes his minds abouts helping us!"

"Does Nasty Kobold know why Big Bad Devil Man is helping Grovel, yes, no, maybe?"

"Deekin not knows, and Deekin not cares," the kobold snapped, rummaging around in Tree Branch's pack. "All Deekin knows is that we needs to takes advantage of this situation if we wants to survive." He yipped excitedly and pulled out a potion. "Here," he said, shoving the bottle into Grovel's face, "drink this."

Grovel brought the bottle close to his face and stared at the murky liquid. "Grovel doesn't understand, no, no, no. What will this potion make Grovel do, what, what?"

"Potion makes Stupid Sojourner Goblin really strongs for really short times. See, Evil Drow Lady distracteds now by all the dying drow ladies and Big Bad Devil Man. Deekin sings to distracts her further, and then Stupid Sojourner Goblin strikes killing blow!"

"Grovel doesn't think much of Nasty Kobold's plan, no, no, no."

"Well, unless Stupid Sojourner Goblin has better plan, that's the one we be goings with!"

Grovel couldn't really argue with that, so he drank the potion, which tasted terrible; unsheathed Enserric, who began cackling as he sensed the carnage surrounding him; and charged at the Valsharess. As he ran, he felt his muscles working harder, and he began to believe he might actually pull this feat of heroism off. Deekin began his "Doom Song," the Valsharess turned around, and Grovel raised his sword. Unable to think of anything witty to say, he just screamed, and as he screamed he leapt into the air and plunged Enserric deep into the Valsharess's chest. He failed to properly account for his increased strength and ended up sailing over the drow matron's head, but his sword remained lodged in her body, which promptly fell to the ground and became a corpse.

"Huzzah!" Deekin cried, and Grovel huzzahed weakly back as his friend returned his weapon to him. He struggled to his feet, his body aching from his spectacular fall, the potion's effects already wearing off. He straightened his feathered hat and turned to face Mephistopheles, who was still laughing his evil laugh.

"And so she is dead," the archdevil boomed. "You have done well, mortals."

Grovel looked at Deekin and saw that his friend was just as unnerved about being praised by this evil creature as he was. His fear was trumped by his natural tendency towards obedience, however, and he bowed slightly to the devil.

"Deekin be gratefuls for yours help, Big Bad Devil Man," the kobold began in a shaky voice, "and wes be leavings soon, but Deekin has some questions for you firsts. Deekin be famous kobold bard, you sees, and he needs to gets the details right for his epic tale."

Mephistopheles nodded his assent to this questioning, though the smile on his face gave Grovel the impression that they would not, in fact, be leaving anytime soon.

Deekin pressed on with his questions. "Deekin not understands how Big Bad Devil Man is able to disobeys Evil Drow Lady when she tells him to kills Stupid Sojourner Goblin. Deekin unders the impression that you be like her pet."

Grovel did not consider himself to be a particularly wise goblin, but he didn't think the word "pet" would go over very well with the powerful archdevil. Mephistopheles took the comment in stride, however, which only made Grovel more uneasy. "Indeed, you could call me that, kobold. But there are rules that I must obey which supersede the orders of a fool drow. To command me to slay one who is an extension of myself… that was beyond her power."

"An extensions of whats now?"

"Grovel is very confused, yes, yes, yes, confused and scared, confused and scared."

"I am referring to you, goblin," said Mephistopheles, turning to Grovel with an almost hungry look in his eyes. "Ever since you found my relic in Undermountain, you have been bound to me as it has been bound to you."

"Relic? What relic? Grovel doesn't have any relics, no, no, no! Big Bad Devil Man is mistaken, very mistaken, yes, yes, yes!"

"Umm, Deekin thinks he's referring to Stupid Sojourner Goblin's magic rock…"

"No one touches Grovel's rock, no, no, no!"

Mephistopheles laughed again, and Grovel felt his heart drop into his stomach. "That 'rock' you cherish so is actually a piece of my own flesh. Through it, I called you here, hoping that whatever miraculous power that enabled a pathetic goblin to survive the terrors of the Underdark would somehow enable you to prevail against the Valsharess… and I was correct. I took quite a gamble on you, my little goblin, but I am pleased that it turned out well. And now, thanks to you, I am free. Free to roam amongst the mortals and bring suffering to them as I wish!" He threw back his head and laughed some more.

Grovel whimpered. This was not good, not good at all. He turned to Deekin, hoping his friend would have another plan, but the kobold was gone. One moment, he was standing next to Grovel, drinking another one of his no doubt foul-tasting potions, the next moment he had disappeared. Realizing he was now alone with an incredibly powerful lord of the devils, Grovel began to sob.

"Oh, do not fear, little goblin," said Mephistopheles in a tone meant to be soothing, but Grovel was quite certain that he was being mocked. "We are still bound too closely for me to kill you. Instead, I will send you someplace you may not interfere. And the relic… that I relieve you of now."

"Grovel doesn't want to interfere, no, no, no, he doesn't! Grovel just wants to run, run, run away, yes, yes, yes!" Grovel felt a movement in his pack and was dismayed to see his precious rock rising into the air and floating towards the archdevil. "Oh, no, please don't take Grovel's rock, no, no, no…" he whined, but he knew his pleading was hopeless.

"I wish you well in the Hells, little goblin," said Mephistopheles with much more cheer than Grovel thought appropriate. "You have proven… surprisingly useful." He raised his large, clawed hand, but Grovel would never know exactly what happened next, for his courage finally gave way, and he passed out.

Deekin's many boasts of being a great kobold bard were not total vanity. He had read the scene of the unwitting pawn outliving his usefulness enough times in books to recognize it occurring in reality, and when the big bad devil man turned his evil, hungry smile on the poor, stupid sojourner goblin, Deekin knew he needed to act quickly if he wanted to survive. His questions to the archdevil were more about keeping his foe's attention away from his own actions than they were about gathering information. What he learned was useful, though, and the knowledge that Mephistopheles was unable to kill Grovel made Deekin feel a little bit better about abandoning his cowardly friend. So, while the archdevil rambled on about his clever plotting, Deekin drank two potions, one of speed and one of invisibility. He waited just long enough to see the goblin disappear, and then, taking a page from his friend's book, he ran.

With the battle for Lith My'athar still raging, Deekin wasn't too worried about getting lost. All he had to do was follow the carnage and he was back at the city gates in no time. He made his way to the temple and found his boss, the drow lady, the Seer, and the goatman arguing about how they would attempt to rescue Grovel. Deekin, annoyed that none of them seemed to be concerned about his own fate, knocked over a nearby vase, dispelling his invisibility, and whined, "Deekin be captureds, too, you knows…"

All four looked at him in surprise, and Tree Branch gave him one of her rare, hideous smiles. "Deekin, I am so glad that you have returned to us safely," she said, and there was real warmth in her voice.

Nathyrra gave him a quick hug, but worry filled her face. "Where's Grovel?" she asked, more nervous than Deekin had ever heard her.

"Deekin not sures, Drow Lady, but he be guessing the Hells."

Naturally, this statement upset everyone, Valen most of all to Deekin's surprise, so the most famous kobold bard in Faerûn told his tale of the capture of himself and Grovel, their defeat of the Valsharess, and Mephistopheles's betrayal. Never had he had a more captivated audience, and after being denied the opportunity to tell an epic tale the previous day, he couldn't help milking these circumstances for all they were worth. Finally, after a longer time than was truly necessary, he came to the story's end. "Big Bad Devil Man be comings this way, to roams the earth and brings his suffering!"

With a dramatic timing Deekin had to admire, a horrendous tearing sound filled the air, and they all looked up to see Mephistopheles holding the roof of the temple in his clawed hands. Nathyrra screamed and leaned protectively over Deekin. Valen's goat tail straightened out sharply, and he roared at the devil above him. Tree Branch, for the first time Deekin could remember, raised both of her eyebrows in shock. And everything went to hell.

Drow translations from Chosen of Eilistraee

gol=goblin

kuma=kobold