Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by Stephanie Meyer, I am just altering her universe.

Chapter 14

"Hard for you I've fallen

But you can't break my fall

I'm broken don't break me

When I hit the ground"

Dave Matthews-Some Devil

Bella

There's magic in make-believe. Every fairytale you hear is laden with it. Grand, spectacular things happen to princesses in forests and singing chipmunks. We all accept these tales with the knowledge that such things don't exist in real life, that real life is dark and scary and has more than one dark witch waiting for us in the shadows. Such a concept is common sense. When does the story end, and life begin? When does the magic disappear? When do the shadows take us from such naiveté? I don't think I know anymore, there is no longer a line that separates me from the magic that exists on the other side of reality.

Perhaps the line was crossed when I saw a vampire catch a falling tree in his bare hands, and gently place it on the ground. Maybe I entered the land of make-believe long before that night, maybe it was the first time I met him. Maybe.

All of that, the magic of it all didn't compare to the way my heart swelled at seeing Jasper outside my window. The fact that he caught a tree was a side-note in my mind; all that I could see was Jasper. Everything around him blurred and the moon seemed to shine a spotlight on him. He came back. Jasper was back. I never thought I would see him again, and my heart didn't fully realize how badly it hurt until I saw him standing there, looking up at me.

It all happened so fast. I walked out onto the lawn with my eyes zeroed in on Jasper. He became a blur and was in front of me in an instant with his back to me. I heard hissing, but he was so close to me that all I saw was his back. Something was very wrong. "Jasper" I whispered between my teeth. No reply. I looked around his arm. Edward and Alice were there, there arms around each other. What was going on? I tried to move around him, but he immediately took hold of my forearm and pulled me further behind him. His skin was like ice on mine. I had to catch my breath, the shock of his touch sent shivers along my spine. I had to lean my forehead into his back for leverage against my knees buckling.

I heard Jasper's voice as much as I felt it move through his body that was pressed against my own. "Just Leave."

Another voice, like a wind chime. "I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry." Alice.

Seconds passed and Jasper released my arm. I looked down and felt an ache where his hand had been. Like my skin had been burned. The bittersweet sting of ice on the skin as it melts to liquid. I nearly reached for his hand to replace the loss of the chill. As he turned everything else disappeared as I looked up to his face, hovering above me in the darkness. His skin shimmered like the reflection of the moon on a black lake, his eyes just as dark as the sky behind him. How did I not know the moment I laid eyes on him, of course he was a vampire. Jacob's legends were true. Nothing this beautiful, this extraordinary, this agonizing burning in my chest and stomach, could be human.

Why did magic have to find me, and leave me, and then come back again? Why did he come back, and why wasn't he saying anything? He was going to leave and I would never see him again. My teeth seemed to lock down on their own accord. I felt my face getting hot.

"You're never going to tell me are you?" I paused and took a breath to calm my nerves. "Who you are."

"Bella." It was like he wasn't talking to me at all, he looked down.

Silence. I wanted to lift his chin. I felt my mind warring with my almost twitching hand to move to his face. "I saw everything Jasper. I see everything." Everything from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I added mentally. He wasn't looking at me. Of course he wasn't looking at me. My vision started to blur. Great, perfect time for tears!

Please, just don't leave again. Please, just don't leave me. He wouldn't look at me. His eyes closed as he inhaled deeply. If you let me, I will never leave your side, I thought before I said, "I'm right here Jasper."

He looked up and caught my eyes with his. His face was different, like the one from the cafeteria the day Jessica died. The last time I saw him. Like the agonized plastered mask was lifted and a serene calm overtook him, a lightness. Almost as soon as it appeared, it was gone and his eyebrows contracted in a confused expression and then he collapsed to his knees.

"Jasper!"

His response was to fall backward onto the grass. His eyes were open but unseeing, staring up at the sky. "Jasper. Please, what's wrong?" I reached for his neck to feel his pulse, when I reached it I realized that a vampire would probably not have one. When my hand touched the smooth skin at his neck, his arms moved and wrapped around me pulling me down on top of him.

He whispered something, it sounded like Bella, but I couldn't be sure.

"Jasper?" He blinked for the first time, and he loosened his hold on my torso. I heard the frantic edge to my own voice. "Jasper, are you alright?"

He didn't answer, just looked down at me on his chest. "I think you fainted Jasper. Are you okay?"

His hand came up and he smoothed down the hair on the top of my head. It felt like a boulder inched its way up my throat. My stomach twisted. "I don't think I'll ever be okay again Bella."

I swallowed down the large rock in my throat. I could feel my heart beating hard against both of our chests. His face still seemed serene, though he looked sad like he would start crying any moment. I would have done anything in that moment to make him okay, to make him smile. I reached my hand slowly to his neck. He didn't move. I just needed to touch him again, if I could touch him, everything would be all right. My fingertips grazed his chin and lightly moved back along his jaw. His hand moved from my head and he seized my hand, as it was about to reach his hair.

The sudden movement caught me off guard, and my eyes flinched to his. In the darkness his black eyes seemed to shadow half of his face. Like an alien, the shadows held no distinct form, except for a glint of light in the center. I was surprised how close my face was to his. His scent overcame me in waves and I smiled. I never wanted to move from the spot.

"Bella." Jasper's voice was rough. "Close your eyes."

I didn't even question him. I did as he asked. I felt his arms wind around my legs. It was a familiar feeling, one that I would never tire of. I instinctively curled my arms around his neck as I could feel him standing with me in his arms. Wind blew against my face, and I tightened my hold on his neck. He was laying me down, my eyes shot open. We were in my room. I was lying on my bed, and Jasper was standing at the window with his eyes closed leaning out. There was a light breeze moving through his hair.

I noticed his clothes were disheveled, wrinkled and dirty. Black pants and a white button down shirt. An image flashed through my mind of my fingers at the top button, undoing it. It left as soon as it entered, though it left its impression long afterward. He leant over the windowsill with his hands pressed into the pane, his head hanging down. I never saw a more beautiful sight than Jasper in repose at my window. Everything became clear, he didn't have to tell me who he was, I knew. He would never have to speak if he didn't want to. I could withstand the silence for forever if it was what he wanted.

I felt like I was leaving my body, like my skin and bones and blood were just restraints. They no longer held me, something more held onto me, something else entirely. In that moment I knew that I loved him. In that moment I knew that I had always loved him. He looked up at me suddenly, his eyes wide with an expression I hadn't seen on him before, surprise, bewilderment?

"Don't." It was barely a whisper, but I heard him. "You can't. I'm sorry I came back. I never meant to involve you so deeply." He seemed to be at a loss for words. He sat down beneath the window.

"What do you mean? Why did you come back anyway?" None of this made any sense.

He shook his head and grabbed onto his hair with both hands. "I know what you're thinking. Don't think of me as a hero. You don't know me, I'm no hero Bella."

Nothing he could say would change things. I stood up. "I do know you."

He stood then. "You don't know me, and you never will." I saw his jaw clench as I stepped closer. His eyes averted like he was angry. It didn't deter me; I took another step, slowly approaching him.

"I know who you are Jasper." I reached him. There wasn't a foot between us. He looked down at me like he was disgusted, his nostrils almost flared. My heart sped, realizing just what I was about to do. But it didn't stop me. "I know why when I checked your pulse it wasn't there. I know how you caught a falling tree with your bare hands." I reached down and grabbed his hands in mine. They were marble white, and unmarked. "Unscathed, no less." He pulled his hands from mine and took a step back.

"I can't do this." His voice seemed to shake. Or maybe it was me who was shaking. He continued, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I know you're a…" The word seemed to bring me back into my own body. I felt the weariness of reality take me over again. All of the sudden the flighty feeling in my head was replaced with one of dizziness and I felt myself waver, my knees gave out. His body was against mine again, his arms circling me, half bent over my nearly fallen form. I took the leap, "vampire."

His face was unreadable, stone. He made no inclination that he even heard me declare that I knew his secret. Was I wrong then? No I couldn't be. If he wasn't a vampire then he was definitely superhuman.

He lifted me off of my feet quickly, but didn't pick my legs up like before, he merely carried me to my bed and plopped me down. "Just stay. Stay on the bed Bella."

I nodded up at him at a loss for exactly the right thing to say.

He continued. "In fact, go to sleep."

I made a face. "Unlikely."

He walked over to the window again, I looked at my clock 4:30 am. The sun would be rising soon. That brought up a thought. "Jasper, I thought vampires couldn't go outside in the sun. I have seen you in the daytime though."

He let out a frustrated sigh, and looked back at me. His face was almost amused. "And who told you I was a vampire?"

I shrugged trying to make it seem nonchalant. "There is a legend about your family on the reservation."

"And you believe every legend you hear?"

"When it explains all the strange things I've seen, yeah."

I watched, as he stood motionless, a statue crafted by the most skilled minds imaginable. He had nothing to say, what a surprise.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

He looked at me, "What would you have me say?"

"Anything. I would have you say anything, just speak to me."

He seemed to think for a moment. "You enjoy the idea of star crossed lovers Bella?"

That was unexpected, to say the least. "What are you talking about?"

He inclined his head toward my desk where my collection of Austen, Brontë, and Shakespeare among others lay. Well that wasn't exactly what I meant by anything, but I would take it. "Not exclusively." I looked over at my pile of books and laughed. "It would seem that way wouldn't it?"

He didn't laugh. Wanting to hear him say the word lovers again I asked, "Do you?"

His eyes fell to the floor, "Some things are better left to the pages of books."

I nodded. "This is the point where I would have you say what you mean by that," to use his own words.

He looked out the window. "It's getting light out, I should go."

My heart skipped a beat, while simultaneously dropping to my stomach. "No!" I almost shouted. I leveled off my voice as to not wake Charlie. "You just got here. Where are you going? Where did you go when you left before? Please just stay."

He smiled slightly. "But the sun is coming up, I'll burn if I'm caught in it."

So I was right! He turned to the window as if to leave. "Wait!" I stood ignoring his plea for me to stay seated. "Don't go, just tell me something. I can't stand it Jasper. I can't stand this feeling, this not knowing. You leave after Jess dies, then without so much as a warning I find you juggling a tree on my lawn. I've seen how fast you move, how strong you are. I know what you are Jasper, please just let me in. Just talk to me."

He moved so fast I wasn't expecting it and I let out a yelp, my neck was cupped in his hand and his other hand grabbed onto my shoulder. He was pulling my head backward so hard that it hurt. "Jasper." I let out a pitiful plea.

I felt his breath on my neck; it raised bumps along the skin that it touched. "You think you know me?" His voice was low and terrifying. "You want to know more? You want it all? Everything?" I felt something graze along beneath my chin. His nose? "You say vampire like it's a gift. Like it's something to celebrate. Will you celebrate my teeth sinking into your flesh? Will you sing and dance when I have drained you of your life?" His voice became rougher with each word. I felt single hairs at the nape of my neck being ripped from the force of his grip. I heard him growl, I felt the resulting excess chill on my neck. "Well?"

I closed my eyes and tears came rushing out. No I would not rejoice in my death. Let me go. Let me go. "LET ME GO!" I screamed.

He did. "That's better." He almost whispered.

Before I could blink the tears fully from my eyes, he was gone.

I heard Charlie yell my name from his bedroom. He must have heard my scream. I walked over to the window and looked out.

Outside the coming sun interrupted the blackness, and a dark blue tint painted the air. Somewhere a vampire fled from his victim. I stood rubbing the ache he left on the back of my neck. My other hand gently touched the place where his breath had been under my chin. Two sides warred with one another for my attention. Of course I was scared, I thought Jacob said the Cullens only drank animal blood. Then again, he could have killed me, if that's what he really wanted. What he wanted. I supposed I would never know. Well, I knew what he didn't want. He didn't want me. Make-believe did exist for me after all. Magic happened. There were just more shadows then the pages in books lead you to believe.

Charlie ripped open my bedroom door. "Bella? Are you okay? I heard a scream."

What I thought was: No Charlie, I don't think I'll ever be okay again. But what I said was: "Yeah, it was only a nightmare."

I looked out the window and thought of another reason for explaining my scream. "Lightning must have hit, the tree fell."