MEMORIES:
Chapter 14: Promises
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.
Summary: A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!
Rating: M (for the language/content, not that)
A/N: This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!
Grissom walked over to Sara and hugged her tightly. She looked up at him and said, "I want a restraining order against her."
"Okay, honey, we'll get one," said Grissom. "How about she can't come within a hundred yards of you, me, or the twins? Would that make you feel any more comfortable, sweetheart?"
She nodded and hugged him back. She kissed him before saying, "Thank you, Gil. I really appreciate you sticking with me through this whole ordeal. I bet it's not a walk in the park for you...especially with me crying every ten minutes. I'm sorry about that too. I–"
"Sara, stop," he said gently, smiling at her ramblings. "I hate to see you cry, but I love making you feel better. I would stick with you through anything...never ever doubt that."
She nodded and rested in his arms. She took a deep breath before saying, "Before my mom started going to AA meetings and became sober, she was always drunk as hell. She slurred her words, she talked nonsense, and she could hardly walk. She'd become mean and nasty, insulting anyone within her sight. I always tried to stay in my room to avoid any injuries. I thought that ever kid's household was like mine; hostile, full of fights, people screaming, kids hiding. I'd look out my window and see other kids smiling and playing happily, but I always thought that they'd get a severe beating for going outside...that's what happened to me. If I ever went outside and talked to someone, I'd always end up in the hospital."
Grissom winced and held her tightly as she continued, "My father drank a lot more than my mom, so he was almost always unconscious...which was a good thing for me, because he was a hell of a lot stronger that my mom. However, my mom would still beat me and beat me until I blacked out. She'd beat me until she shattered several of my bones."
"When did she join Alcoholics Anonymous?"
"Right after my worst beating," Sara answered quietly.
Eight year old Sara hid in her room, terrified. Her parents we arguing again and she knew that she would be the brunt of their anger when they finished with each other. So, she kept on praying that they both drink some more and become unconscious, or that they knock each other out. Half of her prayer came true; her father drank too much for his own good and blacked out. Her mother, however, was drunk, delusional and in a very pissy mood. Sara's heart started thundering in her chest when she heard her mother make her way up the stairs towards her room. The bedroom door opened and Sara tried to make herself as small as possible. A drunken Laura Sidle walked in, very tipsy, grabbed her daughter by the arm, and yanked her off the bed. Sara whimpered and bit back a scream, because that was the same shoulder her father dislocated a while ago. Laura shoved her against the wall, and Sara hit it, hard. There was a hole in the wall when Sara got up from the floor. Laura then threw her daughter roughly to the floor, and Sara cried out.
"You little bitch, you ruined everything!" Laura muttered. "You'd be of more use to the family if you were dead! You were a complete accident, a mistake, an accident of biology! After you were born, everything went to hell!"
Laura repeatedly threw her daughter against the walls and floor until Sara blacked out. She woke up in the hospital several days later with her arm in am cast and her leg in a cast. The doctor was there and he said, "Hey, Sara, glad you could join us."
"Where am I?" she asked groggily. "My arm hurts."
"Well, that's no surprise," said the doctor. "You shattered your whole left arm, and snapped your right leg. Do you remember what happened?"
Sara blinked and her mind screamed, 'Yes, my mother threw me against the frickin' wall and floor!' but she instead lied and saied she couldn't remember anything. She looked at her self and saw bruises everywhere. She then saw movement in the corner of the room and saw her mother.
"You ran into a wall, honey," she said in a voice that sounded as if she cared. "Remember...you were outside with me playing football and you went back for a long pass and ran full-force into the brick wall."
Sara nodded and stayed quiet. The doctor nodded and said, "That would account for all these injuries. You should be able to go home tomorrow if everything's okay...but you'll have to use a wheelchair because your shattered arm makes crutches out of the question."
"Okay," said Sara quietly. "Hey doc, do you think I could have some pain meds? My arm really aches."
He nodded and left to get some. Sara avoided her mother's gaze, but Laura said the unthinkable, "Sara, I'm sorry."
Sara snapped her head over to look at her mother. Shock registered in her brown eyes as she looked at her mother.
"I just lost total control and I'm sorry," she said. "I could've killed you."
"How can I trust you?" Sara asked, knowing that this may not be the best course of action right now. "How can I really trust you? How do I know that when we get home, everything won't be back to normal?"
"You're exactly right...I've given you no reason to trust me," said Laura shamefully. "But I'm trying...I'm giving up alcohol and joining a support group to help me through it. I really am sorry and I know that I will never be able to undo the damage I've caused...but is there any way I can help?"
"You know, there may be," said Sara thoughtfully.
"Anything."
"Try and keep Dad in line," said Sara quietly, trying not to get her hopes up.
"I'll do my best," said Laura, walking over and hugging her daughter.
Sara couldn't detect even a trace of alcohol on her mother. Sara smiled and hugged her mother back.
"Did she stay sober?" asked Grissom.
"Actually, so did," Sara responded. "It surprised the hell out of me...I thought she was just acting like a loving parent so the doctors wouldn't get curious. She did try and keep my father in line...but she got several beatings from him. I remember one time she tried to stop him from smashing my head into the table and he broke all of her fingers in her left hand. I think that was the week after I came home from the hospital after my mother attacked me...I looked up to her after that. Then everything fell to pieces after I testified against her after murdering Dad."
Sara sighed and said, "I think I'm gonna go get the twins and bring them out here for a bit...maybe just watch them sleep for a bit. I just need to watch them right now and know they're okay...especially since Mom's somewhere around here.
Grissom nodded and the two stood up and walked towards the nurseries. Sara headed into Erika's nursery and gently lifted the sleeping infant into her arms. The baby stirred but stayed asleep. Grissom got Maddy and the family walked into the living room. Grissom and Sara set their daughters down on the floor and watched them sleep. Sara gently ran her index finger down Erika's shoulder and arm. Sara smiled as the baby flashed a big, gummy smile in her sleep.
Grissom watched his future wife interact with their children. He smiled and he then heard her murmur to the sleeping infants, "I promise I will never harm you."
A/N: Hope you liked it. The next chapter will probably about their wedding, but I don't think it will be posted for awhile. I've got another softball tournament and I still need to write it up, too, so...
Well, let me know if you liked it, hated it, or whatever's on your mind. I accept all kinds of reveiws, even flames, because I want to improve my writing!