Chapter Fourteen – Fear

Five years later…

Do you remember when we first met? I do. I was cold and alone, a boy desperately trying to become a man, lost in a woman's world. Such is the fate of the Gerudo Prince. But here with you now, my life is complete. I never told you, all those years past, but you became my Reason for living. And then I lost you, and for ten long years we were parted. A decade that I should have loved you and held you and never let you go. But I did, and I curse my foolishness for it. If you never forgave me, I would not blame you, and would not seek your forgiveness. But know this. I love you. You are my Reason for living, and I will never let you go again.

We walked together in silence, and I thought these things through in my mind. Deep feelings, heart-felt emotions, things she already knew. Things that I need not say, and I did not.

"Gan?" She said, and I turned to look at her.

"Yes?"

"Do you ever think about the future?"

"All the time." It was true, but more likely than not for different reasons that she would suspect.

"What do you want for the future?"

"I want you Nabooru. I want you forever and ever, until my dying breath."

She shook her head, and sighed. "Yes…I know you say that…"

"I feel it with all my soul."

"But what else is within your soul?"

Did she know? She could not possibly. That was between 'him' and myself, and Nabooru must not ever know. How could she love a man of evil?

"I…"

"Gan, why do you seek to hide ambition from me? I know you are not content to be King of Thieves for all your life. I simply want to know when you are going to begin."

"…Begin what?" I sad slowly, hoping against hope she did not know or else had forgotten.

"Your conquest of Hyrule."

I could not even begin trying to lie to her. I did not want to, and furthermore I could not if I tried. She could see through me as though I was made of glass. Maybe I had to tell her now.

We were walking together through a field of tall grass and flowers, far from the desert gap. We came here sometimes to escape the bitterness of the desert, and just be alone together. Our horses were a way away back towards the stream, and would await our return.

I sighed. "Soon. A few short years, and I will be ready."

She exhaled slowly, and I saw sadness in her eyes. "I thought as much. I have tried denying the possibility for so long, but I can hide form truth no longer. I just, I do not understand why. What we have now is so perfect; we do not need anything but each other. I tried to believe that the power seeking side of you had been lost, but it is still there isn't it? It is that which gives you the name Dragmire."

The words hurt. They hurt me badly. To hear the dark truth about myself spoken to me from the woman I loved, it tore my heart. "Come, sit with me here…" I sat down in the grass and gestured for her to do the same. "Nabooru, I do dearly wish I could tell you everything that I know about the line of Dragmire. About its secrets, about its history. But I am bonded against it, and my mouth cannot speak those words, try as I may."

Nabooru nodded slowly. Clearly she as not impressed, maybe she did not believe me. "But Gan, why must you do these things?"

"I cannot tell you." If she ever knew about Mandrag Ganon, and the Old Promises and the cursed line of Dragmire, she would never be able to love me. And I needed her. I could not live without her.

"And what is it you intend to do? I can see you that know what it is you think you must do, and I do not do doubt you are capable, but what is it?"

"I do not even know myself yet." I said honestly. "I await an answer from…from others. When they are ready, so shall I be. And until that fateful day I want to be with you as much as possible. Once you told me that you trusted me Nabooru, do you still trust me?"

She looked at me, with sorrow in her eyes. And I prayed to the Light that she would say yes. "I…I…"

"Nab, please."

"I just don't know any more Gan." She stood up and trying to hide a tearm began walking away, moving swiftly through the swaying grass.

I was shocked, never had she acted in this way. "Nab! Nab, wait." She kept on walking. Not towards anywhere in particular, just away from me. Fear. Instant fear filled me. She held herself tightly, arms folded, eyes down to the ground. My first thought that was I had lost her, said what I should not have. I had to keep her, I could not lose her. "Nab!" I hurried after her, and caught up quickly. I moved to hold her, but my hand was stayed by her rejective body language. I walked by her side, facing her, trying desperately to find the right words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or…Nab I'm sorry."

She looked at me, and whether her eyes held sorrow or fear or anger I could not reason out. "I just can't do this Gan. We want different things."

"I'm so sorry. I can change, I can."

"No you can't Gan, don't you see? You were born to be this way."

"No I wasn't. I swear, by the Light, I will do whatever I need to do, don't walk away from me like this."

"I have to be alone Gan."

…listen to me, damn you!…

…I love you!…the light burn you!…

She walked faster, and I knew I could not follow. I watched her go, and prayed desperately that she would stop. She would not. No, I couldn't let her leave. I hurried on after her. "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing, Gan! Just let me be! I have to think things over." She turned direction and put her back to me. I stopped again, and ran my hands back through my hair in frustration.

…no…how…how, just like this?…

"Nabooru!"

She moved further and further away from me. How? How? It was not possible. We were meant to be together! Curse her! Blind her, burn her! Anger, sorrow, and most of all the tremendous fear, these three in their confused forces mixed scourged through my veins. Crippling depression strained at my heart. Darkness took my mind. I collapsed onto the hard earth, and gazed up at the skies.

…Ganondorf…

That voice!

…it is time…