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BLACK AND BLUE

I slept like a rock. The alarm went off and Joe pulled me into his arms. "Today's the big day."

"I know."

"You won't let me down, will you?"

"What time is it?"

"Seven-thirty. Too late for you to make up for last night."

"I'm sorry. I was really tired."

"You need to get up. You promised your prom date you'd be at the office by eight-thirty."

"I wish you would stop calling him that."

Joe rolled off of the bed and onto his feet. "I'm gonna take Bob for a walk. Coffee would be real nice."

I knew by his tone that he was disappointed about last night. I felt bad. I schlepped into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. I was in the shower when he returned.

He called from the bedroom. "I'm back." He poked his head into the shower. "Thanks for making the coffee."

"You want to join me?" I offered.

"Steph, if I get in there, you know what will happen."

I bit my lower lip. "I'm sorta counting on it."

"You'll be late."

"I'll just tell him the truth—that my fiancé wouldn't let me out of the shower!"

Needless to say, I was very late. I walked into the office and even Lula was present and accounted for. She marched toward me in a pink and white stripe pair of spandex with a fuchsia knit top. She looked like a faded candy cane.

"Hey, girlfriend!" Lula trilled. "I brought you some breakfast!"

"Thanks, Lula."

Mattie was sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. He was holding it up in front of his face, and he didn't bother to greet me. Connie took the opportunity to say "good morning" as well and then mouthed the words "he's pissed" as she pointed in his direction.

I walked around the back of the couch and began to knead Mattie's shoulders. "I'm sorry," I said, sincerely.

"You didn't even make it by nine."

"I know. I have no excuse—well, I do, but you might not think it was a valid excuse."

"Unless you were playing hide the salami with Injun Joe, no, I wouldn't think it was a valid excuse."

I stopped kneading his shoulders as soon as he said it. He turned to look at me, and the obvious guilt was all over my face.

"You had sex this morning?" He looked a little shocked.

I smiled meekly. "Twice."

"Well, shit!"

"You go girl!" Lula chimed in. "Get yourself some of that fine Italian cop ass!"

I walked over to Connie who had the sense to keep her mouth shut. "Did we get any new FTA's?" I asked in an effort to change the subject.

"You sure you want to marry Morelli?" Mattie asked.

I thought about this morning's events. I sighed. "I'm sure."

"Lucky bastard." He stood up. "I want to pick up Michael Priest. He's our armed robber from last week."

"I don't know. He might be dangerous."

"Come on. I checked out his place over the weekend. He seemed pretty benign. Besides I've got a plan."

Oh, boy.

He took my hand and led me from the office to his SUV. Connie handed me two more files before I made it to the door. "Here, check these out—and call me!"

"I will!"

Once we were in the car, I started to prattle on about the day's plans that I couldn't talk about in front of Lula.

"The reason Joe and I had sex was because he wanted to 'do it' one more time before we got hitched."

"But you did it twice."

"What can I say? We were in the moment."

"You know, I can't remember the last time my wife and I had sex in the same night—and daytime sex? There's no such thing."

"Well, you're single now—sort of. Maybe when you start dating and you know—maybe you could do it twice in a night."

"Do you think Connie likes me?"

"Gee, nice segue there." I smiled at him. "I got that impression. Do you like her?"

"I do, but…"

"But what?"

"I'm still trying to get back with my wife. I don't want to lead Connie on if things work out with Joanna."

"Well, maybe you can play it be ear. Did you bring a change of clothes for this afternoon?"

"Yep, they're in the back. So, are you excited?"

"I'm nervous."

"Why? You've been with this guy for four years, right?"

"Almost five. It's just that I've been married before. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I mean, Dickie was so great when I was in college. At least I thought so, and then as soon as I said "I do", he was fucking anything in a skirt."

"You know, the old Morelli may have been a player, but the guy you're marrying seems too pre-occupied with you to cheat."

"I guess you're right."

"I have to admit his idea of getting married before the actual ceremony to take the edge off is really genius."

"I need to call Connie and make sure she knows when we are meeting."

"What time are we meeting?"

"Two o'clock. Joe said he was using the excuse that he has an emergency dental appointment."

I called Connie and then took the opportunity to open the first file on the new FTA's. The file was on a drunk and disorderly charge. He was thrown out of a bar, and he reciprocated by throwing a loose brick from the steps of the establishment through the front window. His name was Robert Heck and he was forty seven years old. His picture showed him as a slender guy with graying hair and beady eyes. His only priors were for drunk driving. He currently had no license and no car registered in his name.

"This guy sounds pretty easy. Drunks are usually cooperative."

"Yeah, I was thinking we could pick him up tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? I'll be on my honeymoon!" I joked.

"Very funny."

"I might be late," I said, smugly.

"You know you're killing me."

Before I had the chance to look at the other FTA, we pulled up to an old dilapidated duplex. It had been neglected for a long time. The right side appeared to be vacant. The lawn was overgrown and the windows were painted, so no one could see in. The other side wasn't in much better shape. The paint was dull and the shades were drawn. There were several rolled up advertisements lying on the porch.

"Okay, here's my plan. You ring the doorbell. I'll hide at the corner of the house. You give him your spiel, and when he says no and closes the door, I'll nab him when he comes out the back."

"We tried this before. It didn't work, remember?"

"Do you really think he's going to have a brother?"

"I don't discount anything anymore."

"You have what you need just in case?"

I searched through my pocketbook. "I have cuffs and a stun gun. That's it."

"That's all you need, babe."

He called me 'babe', and it made me think of Ranger. I hadn't seen him in a few days. I wished one of guys were here with us now. I still didn't have a good feeling about this. I tucked the cuffs into my waistband and I shoved the stun gun into my back pocket.

I took a deep breath. The strange thing was I had taken Joe's plea to heart. I was definitely feeling my mortality. I walked slowly up the decrepit steps and rang the doorbell. I didn't hear anything. "Damn stupid doorbell." I knocked instead. It took a minute, but the door finally opened revealing a stocky man with long, dark, unruly hair and day old stubble. He was wearing in a long sleeve shirt and nothing else, and to my dismay, he was sporting wood.

He looked up at the ceiling. "There is a god." Before I could utter a word, he grabbed my forearms and yanked me into the house. He shut the door quickly while still holding tight to me. I tried to reach for the stun gun, but he snatched at my elbow and kept me from reaching behind my back.

"Look what dropped in? It's a sign I tell you! It's like when that whore, Mary Magdalene, did Jesus's bidding."

I creased my eyebrows hard. I was a good catholic girl, and I wasn't about to listen to him trash Mary Magdalene. "Excuse me?" I was beginning to think that Michael Priest was taking his name a little too literally.

Another man appeared in the room. He was taller than Michael and he looked to me like what a junkyard dog would look like if he was a human. I half expected his teeth to be rotting out of his face, but they weren't. He was long in the tooth, and I feared he might tear the flesh from my body with his incisors. Michael shoved me backwards towards the other man. I lost my footing, and the other man caught me before I hit the floor. Michael turned to lock the top lock on the door. As the lock clicked, I heard Mattie on the other side pounding on the door. "Police!" he yelled. "Unlock this door or it's coming down!"

The other man pulled my stun gun from my pocket. "Hey! Check this out!" He tossed my weapon to Michael.

Michael caught it and examined it. He looked at me. "Are you a cop?"

"No," I answered honestly.

At that moment Mattie kicked the door open and rushed into the room. Michael was behind him, and he pressed the stun gun to the back of Mattie's neck, and Mattie hit the floor.

"Hmmm." Michael said as he stared at Mattie sprawled out on the nasty carpet. "That was definitely breaking and entering. I'd say this was self defense, right, Jesus?" He was staring at the ceiling again. He looked back at me. "Now you can satisfy me, and the lord will be happy since he sent you to me."

"The lord didn't send me to you. Vincent Plum Bail Bonds sent me to you. You missed your court date," I said, defiantly.

"I missed my court date because the lord told me not to go."

"I'll have to arrest you if you don't cooperate."

They both started to laugh. Michael tossed the stun gun on the sofa. "Now see what you did?" He was looking down at his now defunct erection. "I have to get him hard all over again. Maybe you can do it for me." He approached me and grabbed my wrist.

"NO!" I screamed, and I slammed my foot backwards with all of my might. I connected with his roommate's kneecap and the force sent him staggering back as he cried out in obvious pain. I caught my balance and used the momentum of my foot coming forward to kick Michael solidly between the legs. He groaned and fell over. By now, the guy behind me had regained the use of his leg.

"You bitch!" He lunged forward and knocked me on my ass. He was on top of me, and I was fighting him with every ounce of strength I had in me. He growled and punched me in the thigh.

I cried out in pain. He grabbed me by the hair and held it to the floor. I couldn't move. He ran his fingers though his unkempt mane and pulled it off his face.

"First, I'm going to fuck you, and then I'm going to kill you. And when the cops come, I'll tell them it was self defense because you two sickos broke into my house." He straddled me and held my arms down with his knees. It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. He ripped open my shirt. "Nice." He fondled my breast through my bra, and he began to open his pants with his other hand.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

Suddenly, his eyes went blank, and he fell on top of me. I started to freak. "GET OFF, GET OFF, GET OFF!" A moment later his limp body was pulled away from me, and Mattie pulled my quivering body into his arms.

"Are you okay?" He said quietly into my ear.

"No!" I cried. I wrapped my arms around him and wouldn't let go for a long minute. Finally, I pulled back to look at him. "He tazed you! You should still be out." I replied.

"I think it's almost out of juice. I need to cuff them both before they wake up. Do you still have your cuffs?"

"Yes. I think they bruised my tailbone when he was sitting on me."

"Hang in there, sweetheart. We got him."

I reached for my cuffs and slapped them on my unconscious would be rapist. "What are we going to do with this guy?"

"Leave him."

"What if no one shows up to release him?"

Mattie shrugged his shoulders. "I guess he'll die."

"Mattie!" I groaned.

"Give'm a day and then send one of Ranger's goons to release him."

I couldn't quash my smile. I liked the idea of that bastard lying in his own feces for a day. I turned my attention toward Michael. "What about him? He's not wearing any pants."

"Go to the bedroom and find a pair of pants, and I'll put them on him."

Michael woke just as Mattie finished getting the pants on him.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he muttered in his groggy state.

"Taking you to find Jesus," I said, smugly.

Mattie pulled Michael to his feet.

"What about Gary?" he said, as he looked over at his partner lying face down on the floor.

"Gary looks pretty comfortable to me. Maybe if you get bonded out, you can be Gary's savior." I was on a roll with this Jesus thing.

Michael was staring at me. I tried to pull my shirt closed, but the buttons were ripped off, and the zipper on my jacket was destroyed. Mattie took off his jacket and held it out to me.

Mattie walked Michael to the door and slammed his head into the door jam. "Oops." Mattie climbed into the back of the SUV with Michael.

Once we got to the station, I went looking for Joe, but they said he was out on a case. Some guy was found in a dumpster behind the Walmart on Trenton Street. Crap! This was the kind of case that could tie him up for hours on end. I dialed his phone.

"Hey, sweetheart." He called me sweetheart on the job. This can't good. I thought to myself.

"I heard you were on a case."

"Yeah, Dude looks to be homeless. Not sure if he crawled in and died or if someone tossed him in after they killed him."

"What about the courthouse?"

He was silent for a few beats. "I'll do everything I can to get there on time. I'll meet you there, okay?"

"Okay." The sound of disappointment was evident in my voice.

"I will get there. I promise." He disconnected.

I walked back to Mattie. "Joe might be late."

"For his own wedding?"

"Shhh! No one's supposed to know."

"Right. Well, we can get some lunch and turn in our body receipt. That way we can check on Connie."

"Okay, sounds good."

We got back to the office, and Lula was manning the desk. "It's about time you two got back. I'm starving. There's nothing to eat in this place!"

"Where's Connie?"

"She had to go down and bond out some chick who thought it might be fun to stab her old man in the arm for reaching for her cheesecake. I personally don't blame her. I'd stab him, too." Lula got up and grabbed her coat off the back of the chair. "You two stay here. I'm going to Cluck in a Bucket."

"Hey! We're hungry too!" Mattie replied.

"Give me some green, and I'll get some for you guys, too."

Mattie and I looked at each other. "We don't have any money, just a body receipt," I replied for both of us.

"That's okay. I'll just take twenty dollars out of petty cash. You can pay it back to Vinnie." Lula was out the door and Mattie and I were alone.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Sore. My leg hurts—and my arms. And my head where he pulled my hair."

"I'm sorry. You were right. He was dangerous."

I waved the body receipt in the air. "At least we have some money."

"We could go check out the guy who lives on Stark Street. He's the drunk and disorderly."

"I don't know. It's almost noon. By the time Lula gets back, it'll be time for us to go back to Joe's place. I need to get my dress and shoes. We'll change at my apartment. I feel groddy. I want to change and do my hair."

"Why don't we just get ready at Joe's place?"

"Because it will be too many of us trying to use the shower. Besides, my good makeup and my hairdryer are at the apartment."

Connie returned before Lula. She cut us each a check for Michael Priest. After Lula returned, we ate lunch and talked about the wedding. I figured this was a good opportunity to ask the girls to be bridesmaids.

"Hey, Lula, Connie. I need to ask you something."

"What do you need?" Lula asked.

"You know I'm getting married the day after Thanksgiving."

"Uh huh."

"You're both going to come, right?"

"Are you kidding? This is like the wedding of the decade. This ranks right up there with burning down the funeral home. Wild horses couldn't keep me from being there." She took a quick breath. "Are you inviting Ranger?"

"I don't think I should. That might be cruel."

"Why? You don't think he'd want to share in your happiness?"

"I don't know. Anyway, you got me off topic. I wanted to know if you and Connie would be bridesmaids."

"Hell, yeah! Do I get to help pick out the gown? 'Cause we could do a pretty pink with sequins…"

"Whoa! Lula! No pink and no sequins! I'm thinking of doing fall colors."

"Pumpkin! I love orange!"

"I am not wearing orange!" Connie snapped.

"No orange! I like burgundy or maybe chocolate brown."

"I can't wear chocolate brown. It blends with my skin. I'll look like I'm naked."

The thought of a naked Lula marching down the aisle was a scary prospect.

"Burgundy is nice," Connie said in a sweet tone.

"Guys! We haven't even looked yet."

"We should go now. Mattie can hold down the fort," Lula said enthusiastically.

Mattie interrupted the conversation. "Listen, I'm here to work, not play receptionist." Connie made a face at him. "No offense, Connie. I'm sure what you do is vital to the office, but I would be sitting there literally twiddling my thumbs. The only thing I know how to do at your desk is answer the phone. I need to make some money. Stephanie and I need to check out the other two FTA's."

Connie spoke before Lula had a chance to offer her opinion. "I have an appointment this afternoon. I'm leaving in twenty minutes. Lula, you'll just have to handle things until Vinnie gets back."

"Where the hell is Vinnie anyway?" Lula demanded.

"He's couch shopping with the wife. She wants a new couch."

"You know Vinnie may be a real dick, but he does kiss her ass," Mattie announced. No one commented because everyone including Mattie knew why Vinnie kissed her ass.

Mattie and I headed off to Joe's to pick up my dress and shoes. Back at the apartment, I jumped into the shower and was shocked to find that I had huge bruises on both of my arms where Gary had pinned me with his knees. Shit! Joe is gonna freak! My thigh was bruised, too. To look it me, it would seem obvious that I had been beaten up.

Mattie was in the living room watching TV. I entered the room wearing only a towel. "Look!" I said sullenly.

Mattie settled back and draped his arms over the back of the couch. He flashed his dimples. "I'm lookin'! Are you gonna take off that towel?" he asked.

"No! Look at my arms!"

"Oh. Did that dude do that to you?"

"Yes. Joe is going to throw a fit when he sees the bruises. My dress is sleeveless."

"I hope the dress isn't too short."

"It's not, but look at my leg!"

"Again, I'm lookin'."

I started to cry.

"Come on, now. He's still going to marry you. As for the bruises, I'll take the blame. It was my fault. From now on, I'll be the front man. You can be the backup man."

"But what am I supposed to do about the bruises?"

"Do you have a shawl?"

"Yes! Oh Mattie, you're a genius!"

"Great. This genius definitely needs to take a shower now. By the way, thanks for the visual."

"Shut—up."

"Do me a favor and put on some clothes or at least a frumpy bathrobe."

"Sorry." I hadn't realized that my state of undress would have this effect on him. I thought of Mattie only as a friend. "You didn't say anything when my shirt was torn open."

"I didn't think it was appropriate. It doesn't mean I wasn't thinking it."

I could feel the heat rise up into my face. Mattie rose off the couch and smiled as he passed me on the way to the bathroom. I blow dried my hair while he showered. I managed to put on my robe before he reappeared dressed in his suit.

"Wow! You look great!" And he did. His body was definitely on a close par with the likes of Morelli and Ranger.

"Thanks. It feels good to put on a suit again."

"Did you wear a suit to school when you taught?"

"Most days, not the jacket though."

I finished making myself bride worthy and put on my dress. I looked in the mirror and as pretty as I felt in my Marilyn Monroe dress, I couldn't help but stare at the bruises on my arms. I tried putting a little make up on my arms, but it didn't really help much. It would take pancake batter to cover these black and blues. I picked up the shawl off the bed. I draped it over my shoulders and wrapped it around my upper arms. There. Much better, I thought to myself.

I walked out into the living room, and Mattie let out a whistle. "You look gorgeous. If that man of yours decides he doesn't want you, I'll be happy to take his place."

"Thanks, Mattie."

We arrived at the courthouse a few minutes before two o'clock. I called Joe as we entered the parking lot.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"We're here. Where are you?"

"I just got out of the shower. I'll be there in thirty minutes."

"Okay. I'm waiting. Drive safe."

I disconnected. "He said he'll be here in a half hour."

"I suppose we can wait in the car."

"No. I'm too nervous. I need to walk. Besides, Connie will be waiting."

We walked up to the courthouse steps, and Connie was there. I began to pace in front of the building while Mattie and Connie talked. Suddenly, my eyes fell upon the last person I thought I'd see—Ranger.

He wasn't wearing his usual Ranger black—well, he was, but it was a suit. The tie was black with gray diagonal pinstripes and he was wearing a white dress shirt under his tailored suit jacket. I didn't even know he owned a white shirt. He almost looked like he was here to get…Oh no! He wouldn't! How could he have known? I felt nauseas at the thought that he would ask me to marry him right here…right now. He spotted me as he descended the steps. He looked very serious, and that scared me even more.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm here on business. I could ask you the same thing, but considering it's after Labor Day, and you are all decked out in white, I'm forced to draw only one conclusion. I must admit; I'm rather surprised. I thought you'd go for the big affair." He paused a few beats. "No pun intended." He grinned.

"It's a long story."

I could see Mattie and Connie watching me intently.

"Would you care to take a little walk?"

I knew it would be at least twenty minutes before Joe would arrive. I pursed my lips together. "Um—sure."

We strolled down the sidewalk that wrapped around the building.

"So tell me. Why the Courthouse? The whole town already knows about the baby."

"We are going to have the big flashy wedding. It's going to be the day after Thanksgiving."

Ranger flashed his pearly whites. "Hmmm, Black Friday. Again, no pun intended."

"Did you really have business today?"

"Why would you think I'd be here?"

I looked into his eyes.

"Babe."

"You're wearing a white shirt," I exclained.

"Stephanie, let me say this. I'm glad you are marrying Morelli. The feelings I have for you scare me. You are the kind of girl that can cause me to lose my edge, and that's dangerous for me. I'm going to miss you—very much." He placed his hand on my face. My eyes started to well up.

"Don't cry. I'm not going anywhere. If you need me for anything—and I mean anything—you know my number." He pulled me into a tight embrace. "I love you, babe."

It would have been so easy to say it back to him, but it would have been wrong. I bit my tongue. I pulled away from him and wrapped my shawl around my shoulders.

"So you still haven't explained the quickie wedding."

"It's just been so stressful. There's so much to planning the wedding and then there's the Kaiser thing. He created another visual. Joe went nuts. We've been arguing over everything including my job. Yesterday, he suggested that we get married and hopefully the stress of everything else will melt away." The shawl slipped from my shoulders to my elbows revealing the black and blues on my biceps. Ranger's eyes immediately went to the bruises. He caressed my right arm with his fingertips.

"Please tell me that Morelli did not do this."

"He didn't. He hasn't even seen them yet. He gonna go ballistic. It's just one more thing add to his arsenal to push me to quit my job."

"So what happened?"

"Me and Mattie went to pick up an FTA who seemed to think I was his own personal Mary Magdalene. His roommate pinned me down with his knees."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Ranger, I was doing my job. I can't call you every time I go to pick up a criminal."

"Call me Carlos, please—and I'm beginning to see why Morelli is so upset."

"Well, he can be upset all he wants. In another hour, I'll be his wife," I said with conviction.

Ranger trailed his fingers across my jaw. I felt the heat of his touch rush through my body.

"So, this is my last chance to poach."

"Carlos," I said in a weak effort to object.

I like when you say my name. He leaned in and pressed his lips gently to mine. He pulled back just enough to whisper, "Morelli's a lucky man." Ranger wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight to his chest. His lips were on me before I could object. I would've objected—maybe. Who was I kidding? His lips were like fire—and his tongue! It was so erotic the way he circled the tip of my tongue with his. I let out a sigh. By the time he pulled way, we were both heated.

"I have to get married," I whispered.

"Yes, you do," he answered. "Let's get you back."

He offered me his arm. I took it and we strolled around to the front of the building. Joe was standing with Mattie and Connie, and he wasn't smiling. He approached us.

"Did you kiss him?" he demanded.

Ranger answered for me. "More like I kissed her."

"God dammit, Stephanie!"

My reaction was to cry.

"Is this how it's gonna be, huh?"

"No." Ranger said sternly. I give you my word that as long as the two of you are happily married, I will not approach her as anything more than a friend."

Joe was irate. "Why should I believe you? Why should I believe her?"

"She did not solicit anything on her part. She was merely trying to explain why you were rushing into this wedding today."

"I thought she wanted this."

I finally found my voice. "I do!"

"Come on. Are you willing to give up a lifetime of happiness over one kiss?" Ranger reasoned.

Joe looked at him. "Why are you even here? Did she call you?"

"I had business. This was a chance meeting."

I summoned all of my courage. "Joseph, I'm going inside. I hope you'll join me." I turned to Ranger. "Carlos, I intend to invite you and Tank and Cal to the big event in
November. I hope you'll be able to attend." I realized that it would probably be painful for Ranger to watch the nuptials, but I figured it might be the best kind of closure for both of us if he did. "Oh, and this wedding today is a secret. We don't want people to know. I hope you will respect that."

Ranger nodded to me. I marched into the courthouse with Mattie and Connie on my heels. We followed the signs to the license office on the second floor. There was a bench located in the hallway outside the office. I took a seat. Connie sat next to me, and I noticed she was carrying a pretty bouquet of flowers.

"Where did you get the flowers?" I asked.

"Morelli brought them for you."

She handed me the bouquet. It was a beautiful arrangement of petite red carnations and petite white roses. I had never seen such a stunning and yet simple bouquet.

"They're beautiful!" I croaked as the emotions of the last few minutes overtook me yet again.

"Yes, they are," Connie reiterated.

The minutes passed and there was no sign of Joe. I began to feel a little queasy. I tried to convince myself that he was just having a conversation with Ranger about me. After ten minutes, it was clear that Joe wasn't going to show. He was probably on his way to a bar to get piss drunk. Mattie spoke, "What do you want to do?"

What did I want to do? I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to jump off a bridge.