If Naruto didn't know better, he'd think Kakashi was high.
But Naruto DID know better, and so the only-a-quarter-there act was fake, like him.
Further evidence that he was probably fake? He smiled in the manner of someone planning to murder a false friend later as he told Naruto he "forgave" him for his prank.
Which was why when Kakashi told his Genin to not eat breakfast because they'd only throw up, Naruto knew it was a lie, since if there was a chance Naruto would actually throw up, Kakashi would SO do it to make a point. And so he ate a big breakfast with bacon, fried eggs, ramen, and a watermelon slice. Hideaki's hobby was reading, and the hobby of all three of her dogs were farming watermelons, and she didn't mind giving him some. After all, when Hideaki told him her dogs used chakra for a jutsu called Dynamic Watering that basically expelled excess water from their bodies while making the water that came out pure enough to safely drink - possibly even purer than tap water naturally was - without having even the slightest hint of where it came from, and definitely pure enough to use on watering crops, he said that was disgusting, but kinda cool.
Regardless, Naruto thought bringing a slice of watermelon each for his teammates would do wonders for morale, and help to get them to like him.
"Eat up!" Naruto said happily.
"Naruto, we were told not to eat anything before training!" Sakura lectured.
"Yes, but Kakashi Sensei told us this. Or should that be, Princess Bakakashiko-Chan?" Naruto asked, and Sakura laughed even though she didn't want to be seen laughing at his jokes. "If there was a danger of us throwing up, he wouldn't tell us, he'd make us throw up and say in that weird stoner voice of his 'You knooow, you shouldn't eat so much right before a fight'."
"Naruto, that's crazy. And paranoid." Sakura said dismissively.
"No, he's right." Sasuke said, thinking about it. "Considering how much Naruto pissed him off, I wouldn't be surprised if he was planning to get revenge somehow, teach him its a bad idea to antagonize people above his skill level. Tying him up and starving him might be an attractive option."
"Oh, Sasuke, you're so smart!" Sakura said happily, wishing she was allowed to hug him and stroke his silky raven hair as she rubbed the side of her head against that magnificent head of his.
"I knew that! ...Mostly!" Inner Sakura added lamely.
"So, how about it? Watermelon?" Naruto offered.
"What, no ramen?" Sasuke asked arrogantly.
"We aren't close enough for that just yet." Naruto said in the way a boy would tell their boyfriend they weren't close enough for something big and important.
"These aren't Hideaki's watermelons, are they?" Sasuke asked, the subtext going over his head like a kunai that was actually a Shadow Clone.
Naruto laughed. "Yes, and do you really believe the crap your psycho fangirls say about them?"
Sasuke paused for a moment. "Of course not." He said as he took a slice, biting into it.
"Such clever, subtle deception..." Kairi whispered within Naruto's mind.
"Huh? No, it wasn't that clever." Naruto shrugged mentally.
"Don't sell yourself short, Kit." She replied, affectionately patting him on the back.
"Why do your fangirls hate her so much, anyway?" Naruto wondered out loud.
"Maybe because she kicked their asses?" Sasuke offered. "Or maybe because she's a privileged brute lucky enough to be born to the right family, and they're not?"
"Look who's talking, Sasuke UCHIHA." Naruto grumbled.
"Hm. I am the last Uchiha, she doesn't deserve those eyes." Sasuke retorted.
"From what Hideaki told me... her grandma got into a fight with some Uchiha prick with a stick up his ass bigger than the Great Hokage Monument, and after an epic and hard-fought battle, she took his eyes and kept them in a jar in her bedroom closet, waiting until she could implant them into her firstborn child as an even bigger middle finger to the Clan that, rather than apologize and try to make up for it, instead tried to have the death penalty given to her for 'Unprovoked murder of one of Konoha's esteemed clans'."
Sasuke had heard of this story, his parents told it to him occasionally. "She insulted his honour." He said, as if that were reasonable grounds for a duel to the death and a dishonourable attempt to have the slain Uchiha avenged through a dishonorable court of law rather than an honourable battlefield.
"They were at a training ground together watching their teammates bicker over their current military strategy. Hideaki's badass granny got bored and started throwing kunai at targets from several hundred feet away with near-perfect accuracy, Dumbass Uchiha did the same and did nowhere near as well, Dumbass Uchiha got pissed and started calling her names, very bad ones, Granny Badass asked what the hell his problem was, so Dumbass Uchiha backhanded her across the face. Granny Badass got into a fighting stance and kicked his ass. He got back up, kicked his Sharingan into their highest state, used Amaterasu, and tried to murder her, and then the fight began for real. It was a long and hard fight, their teammates staying back because it had become an official Clan duel, and eventually, completely out of chakra, one arm broken and the other torn off, one knee smashed in and the other bleeding badly, a lung pierced by a cracked rib, Dumbass Uchiha put a kunai in his mouth and charged. Without even trying, Granny Badass stuck out her arm and fingers, like the Hyuga Jyuken pointy thing, and stabbed her fingers through his chest, fingers piercing his flesh and piercing his heart. She said 'I doubt this is the deepest anyone's been inside of you', and then she kicked him away like the piece of trash he was. His final words were gargled with blood, but he spent those final words insulting her and saying they'd have a rematch in hell. Granny Badass smirked, and said this is the last he'd see of her... you know, because he was going to hell but she wasn't, because she was a badass military strategist who made a lot of tough choices that saved a lot of lives, while he was just a jerk and common rank-and-file footsoldier lucky enough to be born into the Uchiha Clan... and she plucked out his eyes. He screamed, his throat and lungs finally filled completely with blood, and he died. The end."
Sasuke looked pissed enough to gain his Sharingan right there, shaking with rage.
"Hey, don't worry, I know you're not as bad as that Uchiha" Naruto said conversationally. "By the way, what was his name?"
Sasuke screamed in rage and attacked Naruto with a Kunai, but Naruto gave him a swift right hook to the head that immediately knocked him out. "I'm starting to think Hideaki was right about you people having insanity and superiority complexes in your blood." Naruto admitted.
"My, my!" Kakashi said, suddenly appearing between them, purple and pink glitter covering his form, though most of the dough had been washed off by going home and showering. But glitter was an EVIL, EVIL little thing, sparkling sand likely harvested from the dried fluids of demons, and so it was a lot harder to wash off completely. "That's one way for teammates to bond."
"He's not dead!" Naruto said suddenly. "He just... he attacked me with a kunai, so..."
"It's okay, Naruto. He's got mental problems, and it's not your fault he has them. But from now on, let's try to keep the Hideaki Sharingan talk to a minimum, ok? You wouldn't like it if he kept talking about the time you and he accidentally kissed and your fangirls went to war around you, each side convinced that the other side's idol was a dirty manstealing pervert, would you?"
"No... but I wouldn't pull out a Kunai and try to kill him for it!" Naruto insisted.
"I know, but the Civilian Council refuses to let him get therapy or allow him to think he might benefit from it, insisting he's perfect the way he is." Kakashi sighed.
"But he's not!" Naruto protested.
"I know. But the Civilian Council is a big part of the Leaf Village and its good relationship with its people and especially its businesspeople. Also, in the time between the reigns of the Fourth and Third Hokage, the Civilian Council stole a lot of power away from the Hokage seat while it was empty, power the Hokage can't try to take back without looking like a tyrannical despot."
"Oh. So, uh... you said there'd be a test?" Naruto asked.
"That's right." Kakashi said, eye-smiling. "And if you're to have any hope of passing my test, you'll need Sasuke awake. And keep in mind that in the field, whether your teammates can stand and fight or not can be the decisive factor in whether you win or lose."
"Don't worry, Sensei!" Naruto said happily. "Hideaki showed me a Jutsu perfect for waking people up!"
"Interesting. What is it?" Kakashi asked.
Naruto stretched his arms and hips, and then suddenly spun around. "Forest Skunk Jutsu!" Naruto shouted gleefully.
"No no no no no no NOOOOOO-" Kakashi screamed.