It had been three days already since they arrived at the small clinic, and Nathan had been sleeping through most days entirely. He knew he was supposed to be on alert and protecting Faith, but he couldn't find the energy to do so. He was still extremely paranoid, more so than ever but he didn't have the energy to do much. Blame it on the injury or lack of eating properly, but Nathan felt physically weak constantly.

He wouldn't dream, thankfully because he wasn't in the mood for nightmares. Most of the time it would be like he only closed his eyes for what seemed like five seconds and upon reopening them, hours had passed. The cycle repeated itself everyday. Waking up to the dull pain in his leg was the worst part of the it all for Nathan. He would only wake up to eat, drink or go to the bathroom. The only silver lining to slipping back into the realm of consciousness being he got the opportunity to cuddle with Faith, but even then he would quickly fall into deep slumber and unable to really enjoy it for more than a few minutes, but she did so it was fine.

Days quickly turned to night's in the blink of an eye, and Nathan was none the wiser to the situation they would quickly find themselves in. Though he should've known, supplies were extremely low already.

And much like the good things in life, they don't last forever...

.

Nathan opened his eyes and winced, the bright sunlight blinding him. He groaned and tried turning the to his other side but by then it was too late, he knew he wouldn't be going to sleep. Wiping his eyes he blinked rapidly and turned to the window, only to be blinded again. The sunlight pouring through the gap between the curtains was extremely irritating so he reluctantly stood up and shut them the whole way.

"Good morning, you're up and for more than a few seconds too!" He heard Faith's voice tease from behind him. He turned to see her standing at the doorway, smirking at him.

"Would've stayed asleep had it not been for the damn sunlight." Nathan saw clouds in the far distance, looked pretty grey too. He sat back down on the bed and patted the empty space next to him. Faith walked over and laid on the bed. The cheap sheets were awfully comfortable in her opinion.

"Your hair's a mess." Faith joked as she looked down at his thigh, her smile quickly disappeared from her face. "Is your leg feeling any better today?"

The injury now wasn't anywhere as bad as when he was first shot obviously, but it was still painful. With the pain diminishing little by little Nathan hoped it wouldn't take long before he could walk properly. For now he'd have to keep limping, with every step feeling like someone was pressing on the wound.

"It's getting better, I hope. Still be a while before I can do anything remotely productive. By the way, what time is it?" Nathan wondered how long he had been asleep.

"Well, it's one in the afternoon, you slept soundly for eight hours. I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd wait for you to wake up." Faith decided to omit the fact that he had been tossing and turning, cussing away at people that weren't there and at one point even throwing a punch at the air.

Faith was concerned, it was obviously the stress of all that had been happening, plus everything else he had been through before. It was evident that what he had been through left a lasting effect, be it the conditioning Jacob put him through, John's sadistic cleansing, her Bliss, or all three.

Nathan really wasn't opening up beyond minor comments about his conditioning and cleansing, which he mixed in with jokes.

About the rest of his adventures across Hope County she knew just as much as everyone else, but not about what it had done to his mental health. Only he knew that, and wasn't exactly willing to talk about it.

"Yeah, And you've been waiting all eight hours? I'm flattered." Nathan asked, moving closer to her

"Someone had too." She responded as her face inched closer to his until they were only centimeters apart.

"And that someone was you?" Nathan asked as he closed the gap between them.

Their lips met and both felt their problems fade away. Once they parted Faith lifted her hand to caress Nathan's face.

"If not me, then who else?" She answered. Nathan laughed and kissed her once more. "You're absolutely right..."

"Anyways, I'll be right back, gotta get this thing off." Nathan cocked his head at his right shoulder. He figured it had been long enough for it to heal, as a matter of fact the only reason he kept it on so long was because Faith insisted he did.

"Fine, but don't keep me waiting..." She whispered in his ear. She lightly pinched his cheek and giggled at his blush.

"Uh, uh... Uh yeah, sure be right back..." He stammered, not too sure how to respond. It wasn't that he had never flirted, he had experience with it. It was just he didn't expect Faith to do so.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He stood up and walked out of the room. He saw her pick up her backpack and began to look around inside.

.

"...It's one in the afternoon, you slept soundly for eight hours."

Faith's words stuck with Nathan as he walked in to the bathtroom. Time seemed to go by incredibly fast for him. He hadn't even noticed it was August already. It had been nearly five months since he arrived at Hope County and a month since he had been labeled a "traitor", much to his shock. It was still amazing how quickly his life had changed in the span of those months, for better and worse. He went from being your average deputy to leader of the resistance to traitor of said resistance. His time in the county sounded like those stories his grandfather told him, except this was all very much real.

It's been quite the bumpy ride...

Well, bumpy was quite the understatement, but the message was clear...

He often liked to wonder what he would be doing had he not become a deputy. Would he be working at his father's construction company? No, he always wanted to do something more engaging, plus he wasn't a real big fan of splinters.

Hunter? Selling skins didn't sound like a viable source of income, didn't matter how good Grace said he was with a sniper or if he knew the important meats of an animal, courtesy of Jess's "outdoor survival training" as he liked to call it.

He could've kept at the whole football thing he had going on during highschool, he was pretty good at that, with how much he survived here he could surely withstand a few head concussions.

These were, mostly, all safe professions that were guaranteed to extend his lifetime to at least his seventies, and not develop some form of PTSD in the process. Nathan didn't exactly regret becoming a deputy, he loved his job, but everything else that happened afterwards, well I could live without that...

He looked himself over in the bathroom mirror. The situation hadn't only taken a toll on his mental health, physically he had definitely seen better days. His face looked a bit gaunt, obviously from not really eating much. The bags under his eyes gave the impression that either sleep was an extremely foreign concept for him, or that he was fresh out of a fistfight he probably lost.

All in all, he wasn't looking nor feeling too great. He attempted to comb his hair by running his fingers through it. I've got to at least look decent, but for who? Faith? She was probably just joking, but still...

Once done with that, Nathan rolled up the sleeve of his shirt to remove the gauze from his shoulder. He saw the scar from the LMG round that had nicked his arm at the King's Hot Springs Hotel. It'll go nicely with this one!

Peeling off the gauze he saw that the gash from the bullet grazing him was healing along nicely, not a sign of infection. He hoped the same would apply to the injury in his leg. If it wasn't then he'd have to amputate it. The image of him hopping around on one leg was humorous, but thankfully Faith had applied disinfectant to both wounds the day they got here.

Nathan lifted his shirt to see what the damage to his chest was. There were two scars on his lower torso, a result of him getting too confident with being able to take down a peggie with his bare hands who surprise, surprise! Had a butcher knife on him...

Above that, the crudely tattooed 'WRATH' on his chest was a good reminder of why he fought for the people of Hope County. So that no one else would have to go through what Eden's Gate put him through anymore. And he had been doing very well on that up until recently.

They were all very painful experiences but they far from broke him. No, it'd take much more than a shitty tattoo job, a couple of bullets, one or two knife wounds and conditioning to break Nathan.

Or would it?

Nathan hadn't exactly been in the best state of mind ever since all of that happened. Though he did try to hide it, he was extremely paranoid and constantly on edge. It's why he always carried more than one weapon with him, and why he could barely seem to get a full night's rest most days. He always woke up from some nightmare of wolves chasing him while that song played. He never told anyone about it, because Nathan felt he had to be the one to deal with it. They are MY dreams after all...

Only You... Nathan often wondered if it was that specific version of the song that triggered the conditioning. He tried whistling it several times, though he was far away from people when he did so. Nothing ever happened except for a mild headache and same thing would happen (or not happen) when he tried singing it.

It wasn't healthy, all of this paranoia he lived in, but he couldn't do anything about it, not yet at least.

Accept it and make the best out of what little good things you have left in life Nate, specifically her... Yeah, Nathan could do that.

He stepped out of the bathroom and walked back in to the room where he saw Faith was still rummaging around in her backpack. He briefly looked out the window and could see the dark clouds were blocking out the sunlight now. That meant rain sometime soon. He turned back to Faith who looked quite exasperated as she continued fishing around her pack. He was about to ask her if she needed help until she pulled out a bottle of water, probably what she's looking for. She stared at it for a few moments before looking at Nathan with slight worry in her eyes.

"There's uh... There's only two left..." The tone in her voice only fueled the growing sense of uncertainty Nathan had. I could've sworn we had more. He really wasn't too concerned on water though, thankfully there were functional sinks so they wouldn't die of thirst. Hunger... that was a totally different thing.

"And what about food? How are we on that?" Of course supplies weren't going to last forever. They had been eating what they had packed since the beginning of their trek, and that was quite a while ago. They only resupplied once in the bunker, though it wasn't with much. Everything they ate at the Sawyer Residence had been from whatever was there initially, and because of that they never bothered to restock for themselves.

Faith looked back down at the small amount of food they had left, food that she knew would not last them through the week. "I don't think it'll last us, even if we save as much as we can..." Faith said as she closed the pack.

How did we not notice this, no we definitely DID, we just couldn't do anything about it.

Quickly opening his backpack he looked inside to see if he had anything of his own. Moving around his clothes he saw nothing aside from a small pack of gum, a granola bar, another half empty water bottle and a pack of dry meat. He had nothing to hold them on for more than a day.

He glanced at the discarded rifle next to the bed, completely out of ammo. Nathan knew hunting was out of the question, mainly because edible animals were either much stronger or faster than he and his hands were. He also didn't see himself beating a deer to death with the rifle either, at least not with it running away or trampling him to death. Ammo could've been a real life saver now.

His handgun wasn't any better, with only five bullets left and the extra two magazines he had left behind in the Sawyer Residence. Had his leg not been borderline useless he would've already sprinted his way back to there and picked up what they needed.

Nathan knew he had to keep calm, this wasn't the first time he was caught defenseless. Several times throughout his mission to liberate the county had his gun jammed in the middle of a fight or he would run out of ammo. Of course, back then I had at least another weapon, and plenty of backup.

Except this wasn't just about defense anymore, they needed food and they needed it fast.

He had been so deep in thought he hadn't noticed Faith had been calling him. He jumped slightly when she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Nathan?" The concern in her voice was still there, except it wasn't because of the food.

"Huh?..." Nathan loked down at her, a bit lost in her blue eyes. Eyes that filled with worry.

"What's wrong? You're a bit jumpy." The worry in her voice was doing wonders to Nathan's stress.

Everything is wrong, and there's NOTHING I can do about it! Nathan internally shouted, but only shook his head at her.

They were literally at rock bottom now. They had scraps to feed themselves with and expected only five bullets to protect them. Of course, I had been to busy sleeping all the damn time to even notice shit, and now here we are.

Nathan had to think of something, and quickly.

"Okay, so we're gonna have to do what we've been doing since we began our escape. Eat only what we need and definitely save for later. There is several sinks so water isn't an issue, I'll uh... I'll see if I can find a deer or something tomorrow." Nathan didn't have any confidence he'd do so but whatever, he'd try. He could go fishing though there weren't any lakes nearby sadly. Raid a home? No, he was above stealing, and he was also apologizing to Adelaide for indirectly helping destroy what he could only assume, was property she wanted to sell. Gas stations either didn't have anything because the cult or stragglers took it all, or they had supplies but only for Resistance soldiers.

Nathan knew all of those ideas were idiotic, but he was desperate! He sat back down on the bed and looked up at Faith.

"If you haven't eaten anything yet, I suggest you do so, I know I am." He was genuinely starving, one or two bites off a chunk of dry meat a day definitely wasn't helping him. He offered some food and a water bottle to her, which she declined.

"I'm not hungry, I ate before you woke up." That was a lie, Faith hadn't eaten anything today. He didn't need to know that though, right now it was important that he ate before he collapsed or something. After all he did to ensure she ate enough, she knew she could last for a while.

Nathan stared at her for a few seconds, not really sure if he believed her. After a second or two he shrugged and placed the items down and continued eating. The cookies he was eating were chewy and stale, he forgot to seal them properly. That and they were old... He really didn't care, he was far too hungry to even think about that. There were two left, he decided he'd eat them now and not later as the taste wouldn't be great then.

Faith felt this was mainly her fault. Nathan hadn't exactly eaten much, at least not as much as she did. He always placed her well being above his own and while she was extremely grateful he did so, Nathan always seemed to take the worst of it. He never ate anything completely and either offered it to her, or he stuffed it back with the rest of their supplies.

Now, they hadn't exactly had much in the way of supplies since they escaped the Jailhouse, and always ate in moderation. They got breaks, like at the bunker and at the house they took shelter in where they got to eat full meals without fear of dwindling what they had. They regrettably never bothered to take anything substancial from those places.

More than anything, she felt like a burden on him. Unnecessary weight that he had no need to carry around, much less at his own risk. She wouldn't blame him if he began to have second thoughts about all of this. What have I ever done for him? Help him with his wound? He had done much more than that for her. Ease his mind by dancing with him? Faith knew that had a minimal effect on him, because over the course of the next few days since, he was back to his quiet, gloomy self. Everything she had done for him was incomparable to all he did for her.

Faith wanted to do her part to help, to carry the burden instead of being it, but she didn't exactly know how. It was important that she learned, because it wouldn't be long till she had to step up for both of them, wether or not Nathan was okay with it.

.

Nathan soon finished eating and looked at the clock. Three in the afternoon already? I know more than likely shouldn't, but I probably need to go back to sleep.

Nathan didn't want to but he knew he'd have to in order to ignore any future hunger. As long as Faith ate "enough", that did it for him. He was resilient, be could certainly last without doing so, but she couldn't.

"It's important to eat, obviously, but for the meanwhile we're going to have to cut back." Nathan felt he was just repeating himself at this point but regardless it was important they did so.

Faith nodded, she understood perfectly. She raised an eyebrow as Nathan drank some more painkillers. Faith frowned at the amount but kept quiet, the last thing she wanted to do was argue with him

Nathan laid down on the bed and closed his eyes

"Back to sleep? It's barely been two hours since you woke up!" Faith was surprised, she had expected him to stay awake at least a few more hours.

Nathan smiled and opened his eyes only slightly.

"Hey, it's better than being awake for two minutes! That's for sure a record ain't it?" He had a feeling she knew why he was sleeping so early. He yawned and turned to his side.

"Mind keeping first watch? Don't tell anyone!' He joked.

With a "Sure", Faith left the room. He deserves the break, after all he's done. It's good for him, keeps his mind off our problems. It was only fair.

Stepping outside Faith saw it had begun raining already, bringing in a cool gust of wind and rain. The sounds of it hitting the roof of the clinc were so relaxing to her.

It seemed like Holland Valley was not the temporary escape from troubles they had hoped it was sadly. Though they might've fared much worse had they gone to the Whitetails as soon as possible.

Faith hoped it wouldn't take long before things began to look up again, but she knew she was asking for too much. With Nathan in the state he was and the lack of resources, she knew it wouldn't get any easier anytime soon...

AN: Next chapter's going back to our other characters, mainly Jess.