"You'll have to retrieve the food," Willow said. They simply put food that needed to remain cold out in a snow drift next to the door, rather than worry about the ice box inside. Varhog released her, waiting until she was in the washroom before opening the front door. Willow took advantage of the moment to relieve herself for the first time that morning, breathing a sigh of relief as she did. She felt the gush of freezing air as Varhog opened the front door to grab the food. Then she heard him speak and felt the accompanying rush of heat as a blazing fire sprang to life in the hearth at his command.
When she was finished, Willow washed her hands and went out to join Varhog. He was readying some of the food, and she admired him for a moment. When he felt her stare on his back, he turned and went to her, keeping his promise that he would help her stay warm. She laughed as he swept her into a tight embrace, lifting her onto his feet and slowly swaying around with her in their favorite method of dancing. He hummed a tune to keep time with, and she listened in enjoyment as the deep sound vibrated through his chest.
Willow teasingly commented, "I'm surprised to see that part of you I got to know better earlier relaxed and facing down. It's so often pointing up when we're like this, I'd all but forgotten there was another position."
Varhog chuckled. "Perhaps it has an eye that can only see your beautiful face when you invite it out. Here it comes now. Nothing's more tempting than your soft warmth," he paused as she laughed, "but we don't have to do anything. There's really not much I can do about it. I think it has a mind of its own. Do you remember how powerfully aroused I got after we both fought and you whispered in my ear while sitting astride my lap?" She nodded, and he laughed at the memory. "I couldn't believe what was happening and that you would say such words in that position, especially when I was all but naked. Now I'm not so surprised, knowing the side of you I've had the pleasure of meeting so many times since then."
"I do remember that," Willow said. "It was so obvious under your clothing. It made me feel powerful that I had such an effect on you, but if that part of you has a mind of its own, maybe I can't take as much credit. I'm not sure your undergarments would have fully covered your arousal had you waited any longer."
"No, you're exactly right, which is why I acted so quickly. But you deserve all the credit. You're the only one who has ever had such an effect on me. This reminds me of something somewhat related. Back in Ilirea after we flew and practiced fighting in those trees, you said you would tell me something after we got married. What was it? I was desperately curious."
Willow had to think for a moment. When she recalled the instance, she declared, "Oh yes! I had just been reunited with Sunset after you and I both nearly died and she was so worried about me. I hugged her and kissed her snout then told her I was glad I could do that—kiss her—without fear of any dire consequences because whenever my lips got anywhere near you, I had been feeling the insufferable urge to kiss you, preferably never to stop again. Right then you touched my shoulder to give me my hair pins, and I worried you might have somehow overheard my last thought. That's why I looked so guilty and lied when you asked me if anything was wrong." They both laughed at her confession.
"Then, after your thoughtful gesture, I felt like kissing you again, and I thought to Sunset, 'Do you see what I mean! Enough to drive me insane.' That's when she rumbled in amusement, and I fled to escape the pull of your sensual appeal, with a promise to enlighten you once we were married. Good thing we never did kiss before we got married. We might have regretted it after we calmed down enough to realize what we'd just done, if we didn't just do it again right there on the spot because of how amazing it is. Remember how uncontrollable it was at first?"
"How could I forget? It's part of me as an Urgal. I still feel it whenever I kiss you, but I can control it, thanks to the lovely memories of our first week. I'm grateful because I like doing this," Varhog tenderly kissed her, "without necessarily having to do all the rest."
"Mm-hmm," she agreed blissfully, keeping her face up with her chin against his chest. "I guess that was a blessing in disguise for having to go through all of that."
Black Thunder's voice suddenly warned them from outside, My son, your younger brother swiftly approaches your hut.
Varhog raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That would be Raygog, I suppose. He'll not wait for an answer but come right in. Well, there's nothing to do but let him see, though I'll do my best to block you from view." He turned them so his back was to the door.
Willow worriedly started to say, "Raygog? It won't be good for him to see us like this. Haven't you ever noticed—" But she wasn't able to finish her thought because right at that moment, a knock sounded on the door and Raygog immediately entered.
Raygog didn't seem at all surprised to find them as they were, and he regarded them gravely. Willow knew he must still be deeply troubled by what had happened only a few days before in Carvahall. "I thought I might find you like this, brother," he said. "Happy birthday, by the way. Looks like it has been a good one, from what I can see. I can't imagine having to wait until age thirty-two to enjoy this, but I had probably better try. I'll never get to experience it myself." He began moving around the room in an effort to see past Varhog.
Willow creased her brow in concern as Varhog sensed Raygog's movements and threateningly growled, "If you think I'm going to let you see my mate naked, you're mistaken, Raygog."
His brother laughed bitterly as he continued around. "Just don't let her go. Then I won't see the best parts. But if you do let her go to fight me, I'm sure to see her full beauty before you smash me to the ground. At least I'd get to see one female besides my sisters naked, and I'd be the envy of every other single ram in the village to have seen in her unclothed perfection the woman who can bring down yourself, Yarbog, and Nar Garzhvog. You should see them. Him and mother. They look so altered, it's almost nauseating. There must be something to this that no one has fully let on about, which is why I volunteered to come fetch you. I figured my chances would be pretty good of seeing you thus engaged and maybe of seeing Willow."
Varhog seemed to see the wisdom in Raygog's words. He stopped turning to block Willow and just attempted to cover her as much as possible, relying on her hair to help his huge arms. She turned her head to the side so she could see Raygog as he came into view.
"Hello, Raygog," Willow greeted as he shamelessly eyed her, shaking her head in warning. "Don't tell me the other rams are now thinking that a repulsive, skinny, hornless human girl is attractive."
Raygog's face twisted in hopeless longing as he looked at her. "It's true, sister," he said. "How could we not after your amazing conquests in battle? I'm sure it's the exact reason Varhog first saw what he did in you. Such feats as those are impossible for an Urgal to ignore, especially a fighting ram. Too bad he was the first to meet you. Any of us would have inevitably come to feel the same way." He let his eyes sweep down her legs again, as they were the main area Varhog couldn't cover. "You look so soft and strong," he muttered dully, the same look of frustrated longing in his eyes.
Though everything in Raygog's manner was confirming Willow's suspicions, she knew Varhog hadn't noticed the same subtleties and was surprised Raygog was pushing him so far. Perhaps he relied on their relationship as brothers to protect him from Varhog's wrath, but Willow wasn't sure that would be enough, judging by how tense Varhog felt. She attempted to warn Raygog by saying, "Varhog has said much the same before, though I only came to gain my current fighting ability through his patient mentoring. I doubt any other Urgal ram would have done the same. You are unwise for pushing him so far right now, Raygog. He could kill you more easily than you realize and he just might—brother or not—if you continue to eye me in such a manner. He feels understandably possessive about what should be his pleasure alone of seeing me naked."
"Then let him," Raygog said dejectedly. "I should have died."
As Willow feared, Varhog completely missed his brother's hopeless manner, and his rumbling growl was anything but passionate. He was furious. "Did you have a message?" Varhog demanded icily. "If so, deliver it and leave. We'll come when we are able."
Raygog seemed to sense that he might have gone too far, but he apathetically ignored Varhog, his hand twitching as if he wished to reach up and sweep Willow's hair to the side.
Varhog obviously noticed. "If you do," he warned in a chilling tone, "I'll rip your arm off again. I can do that without letting her go, and I won't let her heal you this time."
Willow shuddered. It was no idle threat. "Please, Raygog," she implored. "You should go now. I hate that Varhog feels this way toward his brother." She glanced up at Varhog's face, but he paid her no mind. His eyes flashed dangerously, and they were trained on Raygog.
Raygog backed away, moving toward the door. "Fine," he said. "My message is brief. The family is ready for you to come whenever you are. Mother has a few gifts and a meal prepared. Forgive me, brother, Willow. Goodbye." He left, closing the door behind himself.
Varhog roared loudly, no doubt so Raygog could hear but also to release the terrible rage that filled him, and Willow cringed as she jumped in surprise. He was so terrifying when he wanted to be.
"I'm sorry, Willow," Varhog muttered. "I can't believe he did that. I've never been so angry before, except for when Nar Garzhvog spit at your feet. I almost just killed my younger brother. Where did he learn such insolence? Maybe because he was so young when our sire died, and I left only a few years later. Yarbog had taken a mate. Perhaps he didn't get proper instruction in how to respect a female, and especially another ram's mate."
Varhog tightened his arms around her. "I never thought I'd have to protect you from my youngest brother's searching eyes. Seeing him look at you with such longing and hearing him say what he did . . ."
Varhog roared again. "It will take me some time to forgive him. Knowing how he and the other single rams think of you makes my blood boil." He dropped his arms and stepped back, swinging them and bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Give me a moment," he warned as Willow moved to return to him. "It's not instinctive for an Urgralgra ram to blow off an insult like that. My blood demands that I go pound him within an inch of his life, brother or not. I need to control this urge before I run out that door and do something I'll forever regret. He seemed apologetic by the end. I'm trying to focus on that."
Willow saw that Varhog wasn't exaggerating, and she quietly said, "It seemed like the longing wasn't for me but another. There was a strange, hopeless tone in his voice. Didn't you notice?"
Varhog curtly shook his head, dropping to the floor to do a hundred pushups in what seemed like less than a minute. When he sprang up, he wasn't at all winded and his rage seemed just as potent. "I didn't notice anything except that my youngest brother was ogling my mate right in front of me. How about we fly for a few minutes?" he ventured desperately. "Maybe the cold air will calm my violent urges. You need to come with me to ensure that I don't run after him."
"Could you maybe channel this terrible passion into loving me?" Willow timidly suggested.
Varhog barked a cynical laugh. "I'd crush you right now, Willow. Please."
"Yes, Varhog," she assured him. "I'll come with you if it means keeping you from killing your younger brother." She followed him as he strode to the bedroom, dressing as quickly as he did in the warmest clothes she had, including all of the winter gear Myrintuk had given them and finishing her outfit with her heavy winter cloak.
Varhog didn't take her hand as he once again marched from the room and out of the hut. He had remained moving the entire time, his hands clenched into tight fists. He walked directly to Black Thunder, climbed up, and situated himself in the front of the saddle. As she followed him, he tersely explained, "So I can block the wind and feel the full effects on my face and body. I'm sorry, Willow. I'm trying so hard to control myself right now."
May I put my arms around you? she asked as Black Thunder leaped into the sky. Sunset came along, not wanting to be still and alone in the snow.
Yes, please do, Varhog invited. It may help me.
Willow wrapped her arms around his wide waist and rested her face against his back, feeling how slowly and deeply he was breathing, which was a stark contrast to the racing of his heart. She couldn't feel the biting chill of the wind from behind him and was actually warm. It wasn't long before his pounding heart rate slowed and his breathing stabilized without forced effort.
Varhog said, I'm going to stand up and turn around. He did just that and settled back into the saddle facing her. Then he wrapped his arms around her. I'm sorry again, Willow. That was so unexpected coming from Raygog. I feel so fiercely protective of you and to see my brother look at you like that was enough to bring out the worst in me. It's going to be hard to see him at this family gathering, but I'm in control of myself now. You needn't fear that I'll do anything violent. I'm sorry you had to see me like that, but your presence reminded me of why I'm trying to be better than my baser urges would normally expect me to be. Will you please forgive me?
Willow replied, Of course, Varhog. I forgive you. Thank you for your apology. I too hope you are soon able to forgive him. It was inappropriate, and I'm not sure why he did it, but he seemed to recognize his folly by the end. I admire how much self-control you had and that you feel so protective of me.
Varhog smiled gratefully. Then he commented, We should ride like this all the time. I can't believe I never thought of it before. You must be so much warmer back here with my huge body completely blocking the wind. She nodded. And your hair blows out behind us. I don't feel cold at all with my back to the wind. He pulled her close, pressing her face into his warm chest. I'm going to have Black Thunder fly us right into the village. Sounds like there will be food at my mother's. Do you object?
Willow shook her head. I know we'll be there soon, but I'm going to rest in the few minutes we have. They arrived within five minutes—for they had flown in the opposite direction first—and Black Thunder landed in the village square, folding his wings and moving off to the side so Sunset could follow him. Varhog dismounted first, offering his hand to Willow before getting off his dragon's leg.
"Sorry I was so ungentlemanly before," Varhog apologized. "I worried that if I touched you, I'd hurt you. I was feeling so violent, and it's already hard enough not to hurt you with the simplest touch."
"I understand," Willow said. The episode with Raygog had taken a lot out of her, since it had affected Varhog so intensely.
Varhog noticed. While she was still above him and their faces were more level, he gently kissed her. "Thank you for your patience," he earnestly said. "I don't deserve you, but I'll keep doing my best every day."
"Yes, you do, Varhog. You just proved it most commendably. I'm so grateful to be your mate." She put her arms around his neck. "Will you carry me?"
Varhog answered by lifting her. Thank you, my father, he thought to his dragon—also including Willow in the message—as he descended to the ground. I'm sorry to ask that of you on a day like this, but it seemed like the only thing that would help me calm down.
My pleasure, his dragon replied. Almost nothing gives me greater enjoyment than flying with you, even when the snow makes the air so cold. I am proud of you for your self-restraint. Your brother deserved to be toasted for his audacity. If another dragon did that with my mate, he would be a pile of bloody shreds by now. Your example is most worthy.
Varhog smiled, walking with Willow toward his mother's. When they arrived, he knocked and waited for someone to answer. He stiffened when Raygog opened the door, but Raygog's face looked stricken. He stepped back to let them enter, and Varhog set Willow down, taking her hand as he followed her in.
Raygog looked pointedly at nothing as Willow passed him, and she sadly stared at his face. Feeling her gaze, he closed his eyes and instinctively moved even farther back as he felt Varhog pass.
Myrintuk, Garzhvog, Breetuk, and Trayin were present, and they were as solemn as Raygog. Myrintuk said, "We didn't expect you so soon, Varhog. We told the others to wait until they received word from us because we weren't sure you would come. Raygog told us what happened." She glared at her youngest son, as did Garzhvog. Raygog had taken a seat on the sofa between his two sisters, and he hung his head in his hands.
"If that's the case, then he has probably already heard an earful from the lot of you," Varhog said, glancing at his brother. "It was all I could do not to come after him, but thanks to my training as a Rider, Willow's steadying presence, and flying on my dragon, I was able to slowly regain control."
His two younger sisters looked at Raygog pityingly as he shuddered, choking out in a low voice, "Varhog, I'm so sorry for what I did. I have no idea what came over me, why I thought I could get away with that. Well, I think I have an idea, but that's no excuse. It was completely disrespectful and inappropriate. Willow, I'm so sorry. You deserve better than that. If I had been in that position, I'm sure I wouldn't have had Varhog's self-control. Will you . . . can you forgive me?"
Willow's heart broke for his suffering. She crossed the room and knelt in front of him. "Raygog." He tensed and didn't lift his head or look at her. "I forgive you," Willow said. "Thank you for apologizing. I understand. You should have heard some of the things I said to Varhog before we were married. I'm not much older than you. It's normal to feel and think these things at this time of life. You said you think you had an idea why you acted as you did. Why?"
Raygog still didn't raise his head. In a tortured voice, he responded first to her compassionate consolation, "But Varhog was your intended mate. You . . . you are as my sister. To say those things about you right in the presence of my brother—not that saying them if he wasn't there would be acceptable—was totally inexcusable. I know that. I know it, and yet it doesn't change what I felt and still feel." He slowly looked up at her, and she recognized the longing in his eyes, but she saw as she had heard before that it wasn't for her. She clearly saw that he loved someone else, and she guessed that someone was his cousin Yvenna.
Raygog continued, "In answer to your question, I think I acted that way because, as foolish as it was to display longing for my brother's mate, it found expression at that moment because you two were as you were and I was envious. Losing my friends in Carvahall reminded me of how short and cruel life can be. It has intensified my desire to take a mate in the most unbearable way. Life's too short to waste time in matters such as these, but I don't have a choice in this case." The look in his eyes was desperately sad. He must have felt that a relationship with Yvenna was completely improbable, and Willow understood why.
"I'm so sorry, Raygog," Willow gently said. "I'm sure you realize that there's no one for me but Varhog. But there must be many lovely females who would have you."
"There's only one I want," Raygog said, looking down again. Varhog rumbled in warning, and Willow knew all of the others had misinterpreted Raygog's statement, thinking he meant her. No one else besides Willow had seen the full truth of the situation.
Willow hunched her shoulders, feeling as hopeless as Raygog and wishing there was a way she could help him. She decided that if her bold request of the previous evening had such an immediate effect, there was a chance something equally as unlikely might happen again if she spoke up now. "What about Garzhvog's daughter?" Willow suggested. "Is she too young? I saw her looking at you hopefully last night after Garzhvog sought mother as his mate."
"Yvenna?" Raygog repeated, looking cautiously at his uncle, and Willow knew she had guessed right.
"Yes, she's lovely and strong," Willow continued, also glancing over at Garzhvog, unsure if the war chief would approve of her proposal, and noticing for the first time what Raygog had meant about his uncle and mother being completely altered. They both looked so much younger and happier, as if a huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders.
Garzhvog simply said, "Yvenna thinks very highly of you, nephew. I wouldn't object if you sought her. This situation is concerning to me, however. Although I'm not one to speak. I am now the mate of my former sister-in-law." He paused, awkwardly finishing, "I suppose that doesn't help."
In a dangerous tone Varhog said, "No, it doesn't. Her first mate is dead. I am not." He stooped down and gently took Willow by her shoulders, lifting her so she stood in front of him with her back to his chest and wrapping his arms around her. "I want to forgive you, Raygog, but if you continue to desire my mate and look at her like you did at our hut, it will be most difficult. You should seek a mate, or Willow and I will need to leave to remove the temptation."
Raygog didn't even hear him. He had never taken his eyes from Garzhvog, whose benign statement had struck him dumb and immobile. Willow could see the desperate hope in his eyes. In an incredulous whisper Raygog finally managed, "You give me your permission to seek Yvenna as my mate, uncle?"
Garzhvog looked at him in surprise. "Yes, nephew. Did I not just say that?"
"Not those exact words," Raygog confirmed.
Garzhvog finally seemed to understand, and the others were also catching up. "You have long desired her?"
"I have loved Yvenna her whole life though only in the way I imagine loving a mate in the last several years. But . . . but you never would have given your permission for her to join with her cousin. It was a hopeless, frustrated love."
Garzhvog surprised them all by chuckling, long and deep. "That's true, nephew. Then I suppose you have Willow to thank. When she helped me realize that my stubborn denial of joining with your mother was causing everyone pain and serving no purpose, I must have realized by extension that denying two cousins who love one another the same happiness was also mulish and cruel. I didn't consciously realize I had relaxed that view until just now."
Raygog sprang up and embraced Willow—and by extension, Varhog—in his long arms. Raygog kissed her forehead and with deepest gratitude said, "Thank you, sister. You'll never know what this means to me. Actually, you just might after everything you had to endure to be with the one you love." He looked up at his older brother. "And thank you, Varhog, for bringing this amazing creature to our village. It seems she was the only one with the ability to resolve the frustrated, hopeless longing of so many." He moved his hands from Varhog's shoulders, forcing them around Willow's back so he could squeeze her more tightly.
Willow returned his embrace and encouraged, "Go find her!"
Raygog stepped back, eagerly asking Nar Garzhvog, "Where is she, uncle?"
"At home, I would imagine," his uncle replied, still amused by the unexpected turn of events.
"She won't believe me!" Raygog exclaimed, heading for the door. "We'll be back here soon, I suppose, so she can hear it for herself."
"Don't kiss her," Willow mildly warned.
Raygog laughed. "I know! Not until tonight! Mother, uncle, can we be joined today? Is that a problem?"
Myrintuk laughed, clearly relieved that the awkward situation had evolved into this joyous occasion. "Are you sure she'll have you, son?"
"I don't know!" Raygog cried. "I guess I should go find out. See you soon!" And he dashed out the door.