Disclaimer: Jane Austen's works are Public Domain works and no disclaimer is ever needed. I, however, own the copyrights on this derivative work. Also, I'm a HUGE geek. My page breaks are indicated by Bold type.
Lizzy ran. She ran her usual route and found she still hadn't come to a decision so she ran it again. When she staggered back up to her condo she saw the ring on the table and knew that she had made the right decision. She loved him, she knew that, but marriage was a huge commitment. Especially for someone who had never had a proper long term relationship before. She decided to shower and see how she felt afterwards. Some of her best ideas came in the shower.
Except after this shower she was even surer that she was not ready for marriage. It wasn't late yet, so she decided to take the ring and talk to Will. Jane answered the door which surprised Lizzy so much that she wasn't able to cover the look on her face. Not having a mirror in front of her, she had no idea how bad she looked, but based on her sister's immediate reaction it was probably pretty bad.
"Lizzy, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Lizzy wanted to answer. She opened her mouth to answer, but all that came out was a choked sob which she attempted to cover as Jane pulled her into the house and embraced her in the foyer. Lizzy felt herself calming and tried to speak again, but couldn't seem to get the words out.
"Janie, who was at the door?" Charlie was asking as he wandered out of the living room. "Lizzy!" His pleasure at seeing her quickly faded when he saw the state she was in. "What's happened? Come in here and have a seat."
Jane led her near-hysterical sister into the living room and sat her in a comfy, overstuff chair while Charlie went to the kitchen to get her some water. When he returned she took the glass gratefully and sipped. Her breathing was beginning to return to normal and she hiccupped.
"So Will came home earlier and slammed the door really hard. Then he stalked to his room and slammed the door really hard there too. Has something happened between you two?" Charlie asked calmly as he sat with Jane on the couch.
"Will asked me to marry him earlier."
Jane and Charlie exchanged a look. Clearly if she was in hysterics the outcome of the proposal had not been positive.
"I said no, but he left the ring with me and told me to think about it. I just wanted to return it and talk to him." Lizzy felt heartbroken saying those words out loud. It would be over. He was going to end it, just as it was starting.
"He's in his room. You're welcome to go back there." Charlie said holding his Janie's hand just a bit tighter, Lizzy noticed.
"Thanks," she sniffed and wiped her eyes before standing up and heading further into the house.
Lizzy had loved this house since she had first crossed its threshold over a year ago. Whenever she was allowed to walk through it on her own she always made a point to admire the high ceilings, the fixtures, the rugs, the artwork, it seemed that whoever designed and decorated this house had similar tastes to her. But today she wandered through the hallway unseeing as she found her way to Will's bedroom. She had thought he'd like the idea of not having to live with Caroline Bingley anymore. She'd thought he would love to share a space with her, but a lifetime? The rest of their lives? It had been downright unfair how he'd thrown that at her out of nowhere.
She knocked at his door and heard him growl at the door "Get out of here Charles."
"It's Lizzy," she said as loudly as she could manage.
When the door swung open she jumped a mile from the surprise, because it had happened so soon. He took one look at her standing in his doorway clutching the box with red streaks on her fair skin from crying. He didn't have to ask, she knew that he knew. She didn't expect the reaction. He frowned at her and held out his hand. She wordlessly put the ring box in his palm and stepped back from him, as though she feared him.
"What are you crying about? I'm the one who got rejected." He was upset. She kept reminding herself that this was not her Will talking. This was hurt Will.
"We just…" she started and choked up. She swallowed hard and continued. "We just became a couple. I don't want that to change. I love you, Will, I'm just not ready for marriage."
"I don't think I can be in a relationship with you right now."
She had expected that. But she hadn't expected it either. Not really. Hearing him say it made it real and certain and she felt her heart breaking.
"I won't marry you to save our relationship," she spat at him bitterly. "And if you think that I would, then maybe we're better off this way." She felt another wave of tears hitting her so she turned quickly and walked briskly away from him before he could see them.
Will stood frozen in surprise. He watched as her silhouette bobbed quickly down the hall away from him and he fought the urge to chase after her. Part of him couldn't believe he was letting her go and part of him couldn't believe she had rejected his proposal. The smart part of him, the one that wanted to chase her, also understood her reluctance. Intellectually, he knew that it had been a very short time and most of it had been spent in different parts of the country. Emotionally, he knew that she was his and he was hers and he wanted to seal that deal and make it legal. He wanted to have children with her and go to bed with her every night knowing that they were forever bound by their commitment.
And suddenly, in that moment, he realized that this rash decision (he bought a diamond ring on his lunch break?) was clearly the result of some deep seeded anxiety. He looked at his right hand gripping the velvet ring box a little too tightly and realized that he had been terrified that she was going to leave him. Like everyone else, he thought. Will looked up at the place where her silhouette had been suddenly.
Where had that come from? His parents died, his sister left him for college, purposely choosing a school on the other side of the country, Charlie was his oldest and, frankly, only friend. What had happened to everyone else? Surely it had not been easy when he had had to step into his father's shoes, but did they not care enough to keep in touch? But then again, had he?
How long had he been standing here psychoanalyzing himself? Was it too late? He ran to the front door and watched her car pull away. He ran out to the sidewalk that crossed in front of the house, but she was turning the corner and didn't see him. When he wandered back into the house he found Charlie and Jane talking quietly in the living room.
"Are you all right, Will?" Jane asked. "Lizzy was very upset when she left."
"I'm an idiot," he responded before walking back to his room.
How were they going to recover from this one?
Lizzy didn't really want to work the next day, but she had an appointment with her only prospect for business and there was no way she could reschedule. She put on a suit and made up her face, carefully covering the bags under eyes as a result of a long night of not sleeping and intermittent crying.
Lizzy arrived at the office early to prepare for the consult and when she started up her computer and checked her email. What she found there caused her heart to skip a beat and, though she desperately wanted to read the email, she closed her mailbox and attempted to focus on the task at hand. She honestly had no idea what this prospect wanted advice on, but she pulled up various case law and statutes just in case. She had LexisNexis open and ready to be searched and she opened Google.
The man showed up at exactly 9:30 and looked hesitant as he gazed around her small office.
"I apologize for the mess," she said quickly. "I'm still in the moving process."
"No problem." He followed her into her office and she offered him a seat in front of her desk. When they were seated she put on her best smile (not as good as her normal smile, but the best she could muster considering) and launched into her spiel.
It turned out the man was a tattoo artist and he had put his own design in a prominent place on a celebrity and that design was being copied in a major motion picture without his permission. Lizzy and Tom, the artist, spent the next hour researching case precedent. Lizzy wanted to inspire true confidence in her services, since the office wasn't exactly speaking for itself, so she rattled off a number of cases she had won from her years of experience.
Tom wasn't wealthy, but he had enough to pay a retainer and they agreed that she would work on a contingency basis. If she lost she would keep the retainer to pay for overhead fees and if she won, she would make a decent percentage of the award. After he left, she spent several hours searching for case law and combing through statutes to make sure she had interpreted the law correctly. When she was sure she had a good starting off point she set a reminder to contact Tom the next day and update him on her progress. She was going to have to drive to Daytona to file the petition against Millenial Films, as the Defendants were in California and the case was sure to be worth a great deal of money. This wasn't her first case in Federal court, but it was her first case on her own and there was a level of uncertainty creeping up on her.
She damped it down and diligently wrote the petition, all the while knowing, in the back of her head, that there was an important email waiting for her just a few clicks away.
It was coming on lunch time when she finished writing and researching the petition so she decided to take a break and read that email.
Her fingers shook as she clicked on the message and when the letter appeared she had to start three times to actually see what he had written.
My Dearest Lizzy,
I'm so sorry for presenting you with an untenable ultimatum tonight. I knew you weren't ready. I did. What I did was impulsive and foolish. But I wanted you to know that I did it because I was terrified. I think I was terrified that if I didn't "lock you down" now, that I would lose you. It doesn't excuse my behavior, exactly, but I realized that I was really scared of losing you. I hope that you can forgive me for what happened. I returned the ring. If you give me a second chance, I promise that I won't ask you again. At least not until I know that you're 100% ready. Please call me, if you can forgive me.
3 Will
Once the words sank in she read them over and over again. She printed the letter and went over to the bakery to have lunch with Jane and to show her the letter. Lizzy read the printed version one more time and sat there contemplating what it meant.
Will spent most of his day at the court house completely distracted. He kept thinking that he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket only to realize that it was a phantom buzz. By lunch time he was certain that she hadn't received the email yet and he started to relax. His phone buzzed and this time he knew it was real. He pulled it out and found an email in his inbox. His breath was held as he opened his email and saw it was from Lizzy.
Will,
Thank you for the message. I need some time to think. I'll give you a call later this week.
3 Lizzy
She needed time to think. He sighed and put his phone away and decided to work through lunch. Anything to keep him distracted. Anything to stop him from thinking. He managed to lose himself in case law for the rest of the afternoon and he only thought about Lizzy a few times. An hour.
Jane arrived at Lizzy's place at 6:00 PM exactly with one pint of Ben and Jerry's Amercone Dream and one pint of Chocolate Peanut Butter Haagen Daas. Lizzy was miserable. Why had she written him that stupid email? Time to think? What was there to think about? She loved him! She'd probably have wanted to marry him sooner or later. Why couldn't it have just happened now?
"You're not ready," Jane reminded her as she handed her a spoon. "It was ridiculous of him to even ask."
Lizzy hiccoughed as she nodded. "He returned the ring. He rescinded the offer."
"Do you want him back?"
Lizzy nodded again.
"What's stopping you, then," Jane asked gently as she spoon fed her sister some Haagen Daas.
"What if he doesn't have the self control to not ask me again? We can't do this every three or four weeks when he gets scared again."
"Maybe you two should have a drink out somewhere and talk about this."
"And say what? 'Promise you won't propose again'?" Lizzy sniffed. "What if I'm never ready? He said he won't propose until he knows I'm 100% ready. What if that's never?"
"That is a gamble you and he have to be willing to take if you love each other. Maybe you'll never be ready to get married. Maybe you will. But you'll never get to know if you don't try."
Lizzy nodded and took a bite of her Ben and Jerry's. "I'll call him tomorrow."
"Okay," Jane smiled. "Let's watch Steel Magnolias."
Lizzy didn't call that week like she had said she would in her email. Soon Will began to think that she never would and once he began to think that they were over, he was able to function normally again. He stopped waiting for the phone to ring after a few days and soon he stopped checking his email obsessively. A week after she didn't call he was able to get through a half a day without thinking of her and not too long thereafter, he would only think of her as he was lying in bed trying to sleep.
Judge Davies had been looking at him sternly today and he knew that the dark circles under his eyes were deep. Davies had asked him how school was going and Will told him that it was fine. The fall semester of his second year had finally started and he was doing fine. He especially enjoyed Business Law. He had arranged his schedule so he could intern with Judge Davies in the morning and take classes in the afternoons and evenings.
Will's only real regret was having to suffer the indignity of seeing Jane Bennet at his home every evening. He would come home from class late, bone tired from not sleeping well and find the sister of his ex-girlfriend playing homemaker in his kitchen. The wedding was coming up soon and he knew he'd have to see her then. There was no way around it. He was best man and she was maid of honor. That decision had shown marvelous foresight on the part of Charlie and Jane.
The worst part of this whole set up was the way that Jane smiled sadly at him when she saw him. She knew. She knew what was in her sister's mind and heart and that was how she smiled at him. Like he was pathetic, someone to be pitied. It made him angry to the point that he began looking for a new place to live. It wasn't like he couldn't afford his own home, after all. It was time for him to strike out on his own. The straw that broke the camel's back came one night when Jane was in the kitchen baking sample cakes for Charlie to taste. She was even decorating them like miniature wedding cakes. He just wanted to make a sandwich and go to bed.
"Are you okay, Will?" She asked as she moved around the kitchen like it was her own.
"I'm fine," he said gruffly as he slapped meat on bread as fast as he could.
"You look like you haven't been sleeping well." She moved over to one of the cakes with an icing bag.
"I haven't," he said gruffly, refusing to look her in the eye.
"Neither has Lizzy." Will stopped what he was doing despite his own better judgment.
"So," he said more harshly than he had meant to.
"I just thought you might like to know. Every week she says that this will be the week that she calls you, but she can't bring herself to do it. She's scared."
"I don't care," he said in a voice that betrayed how much he cared.
"She hasn't moved on," Jane said in a very off-hand, nonchalant voice. "I don't think you've moved on either. Just give her some time and she'll figure out what an idiot she's being."
"I can't wait forever, Jane."
"I know that."
"Good night," he said as he carried his sandwich to his room.
That night he didn't sleep at all.
Lizzy picked up her phone and found Will's number. She stared at it for a few minutes and debated whether she should call him or not. Just as her finger hovered over the number, the phone began to ring and the Gardner's home number came up on her phone. She answered it.
"Hello?"
"Lizzy!" It was Sue Gardner, Mr. Gardner's wife and Lizzy's old professor. Lizzy had TA'd for her back in law school. It was how Lizzy got her first job.
"Hi Sue, how are you?"
"I am devastated! I can't believe Arthur did that to you."
"It's okay. I guess it was all for the best."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Arthur has been just sick over the whole thing. We wanted to know if you'd meet us for lunch this week."
"I guess that would be okay. I'm free on Wednesday."
"Excellent! We'll go to our favorite restaurant!"
"See you Wednesday, then. At noon?"
"Yes!"
Lizzy walked into her favorite Mexican restaurant and saw her favorite couple sitting at their regular table. With Will. She hovered at the doorway debating her next move when Sue looked up and saw her. She waved, which made Arthur and Will turn to look. Will stood up when Lizzy approached and she could hear him saying:
"I'll leave you to your lunch now."
"Don't leave on my behalf," she said putting a brave smile on her face.
"If you don't mind," he said looking into her eyes intently.
"I don't mind," she said as she took her seat.
"Mr. Gardner, er Arthur, was just telling me about the campaign."
"Yes, how is that going Arthur?" Lizzy attempted to smile for him, but it probably looked more like a grimace.
To his credit, Arthur Gardner looked ashamed. "I've been hoping to run into you Lizzy, but Sue said that would never happen. So we invited you here so that I could properly apologize."
"There's nothing to apologize for Arthur. You did what you had to do, and honestly it was the push I needed to finally start my own firm. I'm actually working on cases that I'm genuinely interested in. No hard feelings here."
"I'm glad to hear that," Arthur looked relieved. "I'm hoping I can count on your support."
"Of course!" Lizzy said as the waitress came over and they all ordered lunch.
"How's your family?" Sue asked once the waitress took their menus.
"Don't ask," Lizzy grimaced. "My mother and younger sister have been in town for a week already for the big wedding and my father will be arriving tomorrow."
"That's exciting," Sue said. "When was the last time you saw your father?"
"Graduation," Lizzy said. "He came for my graduation from Barry."
"And the wedding is Saturday?" Arthur asked.
"Yes, I can't wait for it to be over!"
"Surely it's not so bad," Sue said. "If anyone deserves it, it's Jane."
"Oh, I'm over the moon for Jane, but being the maid of honor in her perfect wedding is driving me around the bend. All of my free time has been spent at dress fittings and stuffing envelopes and tastings. I've been extremely busy."
"How's the new practice going?" Arthur asked. Lizzy's phone began ringing and she rummaged in her purse for it.
"Oh it's great! I've got a really big first case. Let me just see who's calling…" Her mother's number was on her phone and she had missed the call. She listened to the message her mother left and felt the blood leave her head. The room began to spin and she knew that the three of them were staring at her.
She put the phone in her bag and stood up. "I have to go," she said as she rummaged in her purse for money. "I have to…um…go…"
"Lunch is on us, dear," Sue said standing up. "Is everything all right?"
"Lydia, my sister, she's run off." Lizzy looked at Will and she knew he saw the fear in her eyes. "With Wickham."
Will's face reflected how she felt and Arthur was saying, "That nice young man from IT? He ran off with your teenaged sister?"
"Yes," Lizzy said distractedly. "Excuse me, I hope we can reschedule lunch?"
"Of course," Sue said hugging her, which set off a cascade of tears. "Take care, Lizzy."
Lizzy swallowed and nodded. Will stood up and tossed a twenty dollar bill on the table.
"I should go as well," he said.
Will walked Lizzy out of the restaurant to her car. "Are you okay to drive?" he asked with genuine concern.
"Yes, I'm fine. You certainly didn't have to leave. I didn't intend to ruin everyone's lunch."
"I've got to go take care of something. Look, if you need me then call me, okay? For anything."
Lizzy managed a teary smile up at him and nodded. He kissed her lightly on the cheek and went to his own car. She got into her car and tore out of the parking lot towards Jane's house. She had no time to lose.
**Author's Note** I know this chapter may have disappointed some of you, but deep down you all knew I couldn't let it happen, right? Seeing all of the new people following me is very gratifying and I really appreciate it. Some of you may recognize part of this chapter as being "ripped from the headlines." Lizzy's first client's case did actually happen. I really like the idea of protecting tattoo artists who may not know otherwise, so this was something I enjoyed incorporating into an otherwise dramatic chapter. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter!