"The Ultimate Ridonculous Race"
Rated T for a bit of language
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race or any of it's characters. Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, and all of its characters are owned by Fresh TV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. I also do not own anything associated with WWE, Hasbro, Mattel, Universal Pictures, Nickelodeon, Disney, Marvel, DC Comics, FOX, Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, Nintendo, Capcom, YouTube, MTV, Hanna-Barbera, Konami and such. Anyway, my good friend Jeff Hardy Fan VR1 insisted I do my own take on the Total Drama spinoff, the Ridonculous Race. Instead of 18 teams, we're going with 66 teams from your favorite games, TV shows, and cartoons as they travel around the world to race in the most excruciating challenges ever thought of in God's green earth! Anyway, sit still and enjoy!
Chapter 14: Morocco Or Hot, Part 5
The entire 64 teams had all their bowls full of Moroccan Stew, drinking and downing them down at a time. Most of the competitors were chugging them down their throats, some were taking huge gulps one at a time, and less were having a hard time chowing it down. The competitors who were chugging fast with their stew were Uncle Ruckus, Porter, Patrick, Ed, Mojo, Bender, Heather, Austin, Maddie, Daring, Heath, Sonic, Homer, Johnny, Jake, Matt, Rusev, Mario, Raphael and Alberto (whose team with Rey was already falling behind since they were the last team to reach the restaurant). The competitors who were taking their time drinking in huge gulps were Xander, Cyd, Raj, LeShawna, Mike, Razor, Throttle, Ferb, Joey (Wheeler), Brian, Dante, Applejack, Nikki, Bridgette, Wolverine, Dolph, Kelso, Star, Bubba Ray and Falco. Meanwhile, the competitors who were having a tough time with their stew was Flash, Vanessa, Ashlynn, Dan, Robin, Sheldon, Shadowcat, Lindy, Peggy, Urkel, Pickleboy, Red, Josh, The Critic, Domino, Joey (Rooney), Fluttershy, Ken, Kramer, Carlton, Dewey, AJ and Milhouse.
Shockingly enough, both Eddy, Edd, Beavis and Butt-Head were nowhere to be seen. Eddy went to go chase after a tumbleweed, thinking it was full of money while Beavis and Butt-Head ended up missing with a bag of 'marijuana' with them.
"Looks like we're all neck and neck from this competition," Don said offscreen. "While others are stepping up and chugging non-stop, some are lacking."
Fluttershy had enough problems to handle as her bowl started tipping over side to side.
"C'mon, Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie said, cheering her on. "Down that whole thing!"
"I'm trying to, b-b-b-but the bowl's too heavy!" Fluttershy stuttered helplessly.
"Please don't tip it over!" Pinkie Pie gasped. "Tipping's for the cows and meals, not bowls!"
"That's the p-p-problem!" Fluttershy stuttered again, still trying to balance the bowl with her hands. "Everytime I try to lift it up, I'm afraid the stew may come down on me!"
Pinkie Pie had gotten her team in a pickle somehow. Out of both Pinkie and Fluttershy, Fluttershy had some of the weakest hands the party-planner had ever seen. There was no way with Fluttershy's lack of strength, they would be out of the competition in no time.
Alas, Pinkie had an idea up her sleeve!
"A-ha! I got it!" Pinkie exclaimed as she got a straw from her skirt.
She then managed to place the straw on the soup bowl, therefore making Fluttershy drink out of the stew. That of course, made things now easier for the pink-haired pansy.
"Is that better, now?" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Oh, it's much better! Thank you!" Fluttershy nodded to her friend before drinking the rest of the stew.
Suddenly, Alejandro looked at them as if he was appalled by Pinkie's helpful act.
"Hey, they can't use a straw!" Alejandro exclaimed. "Those are against the rules! DON!"
Out of nowhere, a floating TV came out of the desert, turning on to an image of Don smiling.
"How may I help you?" The host replied. "Not that I actually care to bother..."
"Those old bandidos sucios are using a straw to drink that stew!" Alejandro said, pointing at Pinkie and Fluttershy. "That should be cheating!" [1]
"So, what do you want me to do about it?" Don shrugged.
"I want you to penalize them both!" Alejandro said in a demanding voice.
"As much as I would love to do that to make you happy, there isn't anything in the rules that say you can drink stew with a straw." Don informed them. "So, no penalty for them. Now if you'll excuse me, it's manicure time!"
As the TV went off, Alejandro growled angrily in response.
"Oooh, me hace enfermo!" He muttered in Spanish. "C'Mon Heather, step it up!" [2]
Confessional - The Evil Couple
"Don is so full of himself!" Alejandro scowled.
"He thinks he can change and bend all the rules so we can lose," Heather snarled as well. "As if! If that host even thinks of twisting the rules over us, I'll twist his neck!"
"Ain't my Heather a peach?" Alejandro smirked evilly to the camera.
*FLASH!*
Meanwhile, Johnny Mundo decided to show off as always by pulling off a one-handed handstand while drinking the stew with his other hand (or arm). Joey Rooney was impressed by this unbelievable sight happening before his eyes, and so was Parker.
"Parker, are you seeing this?" Joey said to his little brother.
"Oh man, that's so insane!" Parker nodded.
"Dude, I think I have an idea!" Joey replied as if a lightbulb suddenly popped up his head.
"You're not really thinking about...?"
"Yes, it is what I'm thinking about!" Joey said, cutting Parker off. "Hold this!"
As he handed Parker the stew bowl, Joey Rooney attempted to pull off a handstand using only two hands.
"Okay, assistant, give me the stew bowl!" Joey declared.
"This is gonna be such a fail, munch..." Parker rolled his eyes.
"As if," Joey said with a scoff. "Now hand me the bowl."
Rolling his eyes again in boredom, Parker attempted to give Joey the soup bowl. As Joey attempted to grab it, he lost his balance and before he knew it...
*SPLASH!*
Joey's head hit the hot stew liquid.
"YEAAAAAAOW!" Joey screamed in pain. "IT'S BURNING HOT!"
"I told ya this was a frickin' bad idea!" Parker cried out.
"MY FACE IS BURNING LIKE FIRE!" Joey shrieked. "I NEED FIRE! FIIIIIIIIIRE!"
Suddenly, Joey left the platform just so he could race over to a nearby pond somewhere in the desert.
"HEY MUNCH, I DIDN'T SAY YOU CAN LEAVE!" Parker shouted over to his partner. "GET BACK HERE AND DRINK, DARN YOU!"
Rolling his eyes, Parker set down the bowl and chased after Joey. Johnny Mundo stopped drinking and looked over their shoulder, smirking in delight.
Confessional - The Brothers 2.0
Joey's face was now covered in bandages from the burns he suffered from the hot Moroccan Stew. Parker couldn't help but lower down his head in shame.
"You should have listened to me..." Parker muttered over to him.
"Don't you think I know that?!" Joey shrieked in pain. "Serves me right for having to stand on one hand."
"Apparently, you fell on your head as well..." Parker muttered again.
Confessional - The Hollywood Couple
"Honestly? Stretching upside-down definitely isn't that nerd's thing." Johnny smirked.
"I think Dungeons and Dragons is more to his liking." Melina replied.
*FLASH!*
Meanwhile, Heather checked her bowl and saw that she was nearly done. Alejandro saw her progress and cheered her on.
"C'mon, amor!" The Spainiard replied. "You're nearly there! You're leaving them in the dust!"
After several more gulps, Heather checked her stew bowl and saw it completely empty. This forced them to throw it away and head right over to the finish line.
"So long, losers!" Heather said to the rest of the teams as they were leaving. "Enjoy your salty tears right behind us!"
After they taunted them, Alejandro and Heather ran like crazy to the end. They were running as fast as they could without even looking right back at the contestants. They could smell victory coming from the finish line only two miles from here.
"We're almost there, Heather! Keep running!" Alejandro said, speaking out to her.
"I would if you'd quit yelling at me!" Heather sighed as she kept on following him.
The two evil masterminds were now 70 yards away from the Chill Zone. The two shared one evil smirk, already tasting and feeling victory. They were at the 70, the 60, the 50, the 40, the 30, the 20, the 10!
But before they could make it over to the chill zone however...
*RUMBLE!*
Heather's stomach started feeling queasy, which forced her to go down on her knees!
"Ohhhh, my stomach..." The Queen Bee cringed.
"Heather, what's the matter with you?!" Alejandro whined as he stopped to go get her.
"I drank too much, Alejandro!" Heather cried out.
"Well, you can vomit later when we get to the chill zone!" Alejandro exclaimed. "Please get up!"
Despite the pain her stomach was giving her, Heather managed to get back up. But before they could cross that chill zone however...
...
...
...Fry and Bender passed them, beating them to the chill zone themselves!
"WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Alejandro yelled as the host appeared.
"Congratulations, Fry and Bender, you get first place!" Don said, congratulating them both.
"All right, we did it, Bender!" Fry said, giving the robot a high-five.
"Boo-yeah!" Bender high-fived as well.
Just to show off his victory, Bender took the time to taunt Alejandro and Heather.
"You two can bite my shiny metal Mexican ass!" The robot said shaking their butt at them. But when he got a look at Heather, Bender decided to hit on her. "And I'll be callin' you tonight!"
"Ugh, I don't believe this!" Heather whined.
Confessional - Delivery Men
"Yeah, that challenge was a steal," Bender replied. "Robots don't feel heat when it comes to scorching hot stew."
"If that's not all, you should see him drank tons of rat poison down his throat." Fry said to the camera. "Let me tell ya, my friend doesn't know fear, heat or death!"
Confessional - The Evil Couple
"I can't believe we were this close to getting first place!" Alejandro said with a groan. "Some challenge this turned out to be!"
*FLASH!*
"So far, the competition is heating up at it's core, and there are still teams left to go to finish their bowls." Don said off-screen. "Unfortunately, some of the teams are having a tough time choking the stew down."
Don, of course, was referring to the team of AJ Styles and Shelton Benjamin. AJ was taking a very slow drink out of the stew that was sloshing around his throat.
"Step it up, man!" Shelton said as he cheered him on.
"I'm doing it as fast as I can, alright?!" AJ shouted. "This stew's too sludgy to go down my throat!"
"Well, you gotta think of somethin'!" Shelton groaned.
After several seconds of thinking, AJ came up with a perfect idea.
"I got an idea!" The southerner replied.
"Which is?" Shelton replied back.
Checking up on his perfectly huge gloves, A.J. scooped some on his hand and drank it right out of the glove! Shelton found it a bit weird and odd of AJ to do that, but it was working nonetheless.
"With your perfect glove, AJ?" Shelton raised his eyebrow.
"Sorry, I would have gotten my lucky soup spoon back at home if my kids hadn't bent it sideways." AJ clearly admitted as he got back to his drink.
Confessional - The Technicalists
"I liked that too, to be honest." A.J. sighed. "I called it Robby."
"Hold up," Shelton said, stopping A.J. for a minute. "Since when did start giving out names to silverware?"
"Easy, it was the only thing I played with as a child." AJ replied. "We didn't have 'Star Wars', 'Transformers' or 'G.I. Joe' since they were way too expensive to buy.
"Well, what did you do as a kid then?" Shelton asked him.
"Flicked spoons at my brothers," AJ smirked. "Plus, my lucky spoon Robby makes a good weapon. My bros even got the scars to prove it."
"I definitely hate to be in your house right now," Shelton sighed.
*FLASH!*
Meanwhile, Flash Sentry was having trouble trying to chug his stew down, but he was still growing weary from the sun. He couldn't believe how hot the blistering sun looked around his skin. Not also was it making him sweat, but the sun rendered his eyesight, not even seeing the stew.
"Ughhh, why is it hot?!" Flash shouted.
"Less complaining, more drinking!" Twilight said, cheering him up.
"I would love to drink, Twilight, if it weren't for this heat in the first place!" Flash whined.
"But we don't wanna end up being last!" Twilight shook her head in concern.
"It's too late for me, Twilight!" Flash cried out. "I might as well let death take me now.."
Once again, Flash passed out on the sand, due to the burning sunrays. His eyes was closed, awaiting the sweet burning death that awaited the blue-haired guitarist.
"I can see the light, Grandpa Sentry...!" Flash said as if he reached out to the air.
But suddenly, he felt a surprisingly cool breeze toward his forehead.
"Whoa, when did Heaven get so cold...?" Flash replied with his eyes closed.
Surprisingly, he didn't notice Monty Monogram draping his signature hoodie, t-shirt, and Vanessa's jacket all over Flash as if it looked like a big umbrella. That managed to give his forehead some shade, even though the rest of his lower body was still burning up.
"Thank you much for helping him out." Twilight said to Monty.
"It's the least I could do for him," Monty nodded. "Guy's been burning up like barbecue. Grab the bowl, will ya?"
"Got it!" Twilight nodded back as she grabbed the stew bowl.
Monty then opened up Flash's mouth, which forced Twily to tilt the bowl down slowly, letting the warm stream of stew slosh down Flash's throat. While that was going on however, Monty overheard Vanessa's voice from behind.
"Hey Monty, these's a bug in the stew!" She exclaimed. "Help me get rid of it!"
"I'm too busy not seeing someone die, Vanessa!" Monty replied back.
Confessional - The Top-Secret Couple
"It's my duty to make sure certain people's lives are saved from the brink of death," Monty said to the camera. "No matter how small or big the risk is, I'm always there to take the risk. Right, Vanessa?"
Monty looked straight at Vanessa, who was strangely busy cleaning out her tongue with a toothbrush. For reasons unknown, Monty tried to figure out why.
"Um, Vanessa, why are you cleaning your mouth?" Monty raised his eyebrow.
"I'd ask you myself, but the bug I consumed made me lose my appetite." Vanessa gulped.
"Why didn't you get rid of it?" Monty shrugged.
"There's no way I was burn my fingers from the stew!" Vanessa replied. "So I figured I'd take my chances and drink past it anyway."
"Well, that must be worth the risk to drink past a bug." Monty smirk.
"Not really. That bug was actually dead." Vanessa cringed in disgust.
*FLASH!*
Meanwhile, Dan of the The Blue-Collar Couple was having trouble with his bowl of stew. It was basically too thick for him to choke down.
"Oh man," Dan gulped. "I'm not sure I can't take much more of this..."
"Oh come on, Dan!" Roseanne whined. "You're not throwing in the towel are you? We don't want to waste time!"
"It's impossible, hon!" Dan said with a groan. "I feel like the bowl's getting bigger as I drink! Look at those guys! They're frickin' killing it over there!"
Just to prove a point, Dan pointed out to both Ed and Mojo, who were busy chugging down the stew non-stop. Their respective friends, Rolf and Zack Ryder, were busy cheering them on the sidelines.
"Keep drinking, nincompoop!" Rolf shouted at Ed like a drill sargeant.
"C'mon, Mojo," Zack replied to Mojo. "Show that stew who's hype!"
"You see what I mean?" Dan said to his wife. "There's no way I can keep up with that. I'm throwing in the towel."
Roseanne couldn't believe what she was hearing from his husband. She actually couldn't believe that her husband was quitting. However, she wasn't having any of it, so Roseanne decided to get tough on him.
"Daniel Conner, I cannot believe you!" Roseanne scoffed. "There is no way I am quitting on you like this. Where on earth is that Dan I knew. The Dan I knew would not back away from a challenge like this! The Dan that I knew would provide everything for his family no matter how tough things got! Heck, the Dan I know would not give up on his family and friends like this! You know better than that, Dan!"
"Well, I don't know-" Dan said before Roseanne cut him off by grabbing his collar.
"Dan, do it for me!" Roseanne exclaimed. "Do it... for the children!"
Somehow, her words suddenly lit a fire inside Dan's heart.
The rest of his insides were filled with competitive adrenaline. In fact, it was filled with so much adrenaline that Dan went back up on his feet and grabbed the bowl.
"FOR THE CHILDREN!" Dan screamed at the air.
Flexing his arms a bit, he tilted the bowl down to his lips, letting the hot, yet warm swivel of Moroccan Stew pour down across his throat furiously. He wasn't even stopping to breathe a little bit, but it didn't matter to the big man. All that mattered was finishing his stew and crossing the chill zone.
"All right, Dan! Show them who's the man!" Roseanne exclaimed.
"I'M THE MAN!" Dan declared in the middle of his chug.
Confessional - The Blue Collar Couple
"It feels really good to be pumped!" Dan smirked. "I haven't been excited since the Bears made it all the way to the Super Bowl!"
"Yeah, but it was only for three hours when they lost." Roseanne smirked to the camera.
"We had to buy David a new TV," Dan groaned. "Serves me right for not taking defeat well."
*FLASH!*
By now, some of the teams were busy with their bowls. They immediately threw them away and headed right for the chill zone.
It nearly looked more like a cattle stampede. Teams were bumping into each other's, hoping that they would drop their guard. But the two teams that were mostly leading side by side were the Hype Bros and Nincompoop & Shepard. Both Mojo and Ed were busy colliding shoulders with each other's, knowing that someone was bound to get pushed down to the sand.
"That monobrow of yours totally ain't hype!" Mojo growled at Ed.
"You shall not pass me, mere mortal!" Ed growled at Mojo.
The two kept on butting heads until they both saw the Chill Zone where Don was standing.
With one final leap of faith...
...
...
...
...
...The Hype Bros landed on the Chill Zone first!
"Congrats, Hype Bros!" Don exclaimed. "You get first place!"
"All right, bro!" Zack said, hugging his partner.
"I knew they ain't hype!" Mojo said, pumping his fist!
"WHO AIN'T HYPE?!" Zack asked him.
"THEY AIN'T HYPE!" Mojo shouted, pointing to both Ed & Rolf.
Not taking the 4th place well, Rolf decided to vent his frustrations at the monobrowed teenager.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, NINCOMPOOP!" Rolf shouted. "YOU MAKE ROLF VEINY THAN MAMA'S SPOILED DONKEY MEAT! WHAT MUST YOU SAY FOR YOURSELF, POOP-HEADED ED BOY?!"
Not paying any attention, Ed brought out a piece of rotten fish to show Rolf.
"Want to share my fish?" Ed chuckled.
Confessional - Nincompoop & Shepard
"What am I ever gonna do about you, nincompoop?!" Rolf said, lowering his head in shame.
"Can you get me a chicken, Rolf?" Ed gasped.
"All I need is a migraine..." Rolf muttered.
*FLASH!*
After the confessional, a row of 16 teams started running through the chill zone one at a time, which went like this:
5th Place: Liv & Maddie Rooney - The Twin Sisters
6th Place: Austin Moon & Ally Dawson - Singer-Songwriters
7th Place: Raphael & Casey Jones - The Skilled Ninjas
8th Place: Homer & Marge Simpson - The Simpsons
9th Place: Stewie & Brian Griffin - Talking Baby & Dog
10th Place: Mario & Luigi - Super Mario Bros.
11th Place: Alan & Jake Harper - Father & Son
12th Place: Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley - The Dudley Boyz
13th Place: Heath Burns & Abbey Bominable - High-Schooled Monsters
14th Place: Daring Charming & Apple White - The Royal Couple
15th Place: Johnny Mundo & Melina - The Hollywood Couple
16th Place: Spongebob & Patrick - The Sea Creatures
17th Place: Robert Freeman & Uncle Ruckus - The Angry Black Men
18th Place: Tyler James & Nikki Ortiz - The Long Distance Couple
19th Place: Jeff & Matt Hardy - The Hardys
20th Place: Sonic & Knuckles - Hedgehog & Echidna
"Congratulations to the 16 of you all!" Don said while approaching Sonic and Knuckles. "You've made it through the next round! I wouldn't probably say the same for you two, though."
"What happened?" Sonic gasped.
"Was that because we shouted at that defenseless clerk with a cup on his head?" Knuckles guessed out loud.
"Well, it's not that worse," Don sighed. "Apparently, you two didn't get in the taxi to get to the spice kiosk."
"What's that got to do with us." Sonic said, whining a little.
"Apparently, you two were supposed to be in the taxi, not use your speed powers," Don groaned. "It said so on the travel tip!"
"SO?!" Sonic shrugged.
"Because you didn't travel in a taxi like the travel tip says, it's an automatic 15-minute penalty." Don replied.
Hearing this coming from the host, Sonic ended up crying foul over this.
"Are you frickin' kidding me!?" The blue hedgehog whined.
"You better be pulling our leg, Don!" Knuckles growled, shaking his fist at the host.
"I wish I did, but rules are rules by the way." Don shook his head.
"Well, you may not be pulling our leg, but I know which leg I'm gonna pull...!" The Echidna snarled as he cracked his knuckles.
"Oh, crap-!" Don yelped in response.
Suddenly, the host started running for his life, leading Knuckles to chase after him with his fists clenched. Sonic checked this scene out and let one satisfying smirk.
"Yeah, I don't think Don's gonna get that far," Sonic shook his head as he faced the camera head-on. "Well, will my partner beat the ever-loving crap out of the host? Will we ever see Don again after the break? We'll find out after this little intermission on the Sonic Show, otherwise known as The Ultimate Ridonculous Race!"
"Hey, that's my job...!" Don shouted from far away.
"Yeah, like anyone else cares!" Sonic shouted back as the show went on break.
Translations:
[1] - bandidos sucios - Dirty bandits
[2] - Oooh, me hace enfermo! - Oooh, he makes me sick!
Well, that's gonna hurt for Don! Having to be at the worst end of a Knuckles beatdown is horrible for him to endure. Anyway, let's check out the standings so far!
1st Place: Fry & Bender - Delivery Men
2nd Place: Alejandro & Heather - The Evil Couple
3rd Place: Zack Ryder & Mojo Rawley - The Hype Bros
4th Place: Ed & Rolf - Nincompoop & Shepard
5th Place: Liv & Maddie Rooney - The Twin Sisters
6th Place: Austin Moon & Ally Dawson - Singer-Songwriters
7th Place: Raphael & Casey Jones - The Skilled Ninjas
8th Place: Homer & Marge Simpson - The Simpsons
9th Place: Stewie & Brian Griffin - Talking Baby & Dog
10th Place: Mario & Luigi - Super Mario Bros.
11th Place: Alan & Jake Harper - Father & Son
12th Place: Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley - The Dudley Boyz
13th Place: Heath Burns & Abbey Bominable - High-Schooled Monsters
14th Place: Daring Charming & Apple White - The Royal Couple
15th Place: Johnny Mundo & Melina - The Hollywood Couple
16th Place: Spongebob & Patrick - The Sea Creatures
17th Place: Robert Freeman & Uncle Ruckus - The Angry Black Men
18th Place: Tyler James & Nikki Ortiz - The Long Distance Couple
19th Place: Jeff & Matt Hardy - The Hardys
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66th Place: Karl Fink & Heather - The Snobby Couple (Eliminated)
We're nearly the end of our second episode folks! Which team will be going home?
Why haven't we seen Beavis and Butt-Head for the rest of the chapter?
Will Joey and Parker get back in the game before it's too late?
Why is Geoff and Bridgette hardly getting any screentime in this story? I'm sorry, it's so tiring to give every team screentime when you're frickin' tired. So all apologies if I didn't feature every single team for screen time. But I hope you'll still love the chapters regardless.
Anyway, next chapter's coming soon! Feedbacks are welcome, and until then, Warrior out! BOOSH!