Author's Note: First of all, as I mentioned, I would do a summary of what happened in the last chapter, just in case there are people who did not read the last chapter, due to the theme in it. Basically, Vayne was sent to kill his two brothers and he did so. The real mother of Siorus (Tudur's son) actually saw Vayne killing his two brothers. She would fear that Vayne might harm her son, so she would actually kill her own son. She would first trick Messallina into leaving the room and then kill her own son before she herself committed suicide. Messallina would return and Siorus' grandmother would come and accuse Messallina of being a murderess. However, Vayne would come and end up saving her. Messallina would then talk to Vayne and she would choose to tell him about what her father has done, and this would result in her father being executed.
I think the last chapter is very significant. Earlier on, I mentioned that there is the whole D&D alignment, and I mentioned that Messallina and Vayne's alignment would be evil, in that they are selfish, while neutral would be selfish. However, I think that in the beginning, their alignment probably started of as being neutral. However, I feel that after what happened in the last chapter, their alignment become evil, in that they become selfish, they are on the look out for themselves.
I thought that it might be a good time to remind people of how old everyone is. Just in case When the story starts (obviously not in the prologue), Vayne is only 13. Tudur is 20, while Ewein is 18. Messallina is actually 16. She is three years older then Vayne, but younger then her own husband. I guess the age thing would have hindered her relationship with Vayne. It is the whole, when you are 16 and the other is 13, that is really wrong; but at something like 25 and 22, then no one would object. One of the ideas I had in regard to my OC is that she would be plain looking (the idea that she had to make the best of her advantage), and that she would be older then Vayne. Right now, in this chapter, she is only 19, while Vayne is 16.
Chapter Thirteen
Those who were involved with treason could not expect to have a proper burial or funeral. Due to the amount of people that were involved, the bodies were given the necessary blessings before they were burnt together. Without intending to, they achieved a sense of equality. The son of a poor man could share the same grave with the son of a senator or an emperor.
However, there was one death that was allowed a funeral. After all, it was one who did no wrong, one who could do no wrong.
An infant.
It was an elaborate funeral, perhaps too grand for an infant, even if he was the first son of the eldest son. But then, this was the only funeral that House Solidor could have. The numerous references and mentioning of the father and uncle of the child were not accidental.
The burial gown was made from the mother's wedding veil and the destruction of the veil seemed to symbolise how the marriage only created tears. People whispered that the child took much of the mother with him, as there were rumours of how she continued to hold onto the child's corpse. But then, she was probably the one who suffered the most. Not only were her parents and husband executed for treachery, even her innocent child was taken from her.
To the rest of the world, Siorus Solidor's death was due to illness. For those who were able to know more, they learnt that it was due to the wet nurse. She was someone who Tudor has slept with and due to his wife being the one that he cared for the most, she was driven to commit such a horrifying crime. Therefore, that was why they were concealing what really happened with whispers of illness.
Messallina stood at the very front with her father-in-law beside her, the only other paternal kin of the child. The empress was too ill to attend, while Larsa was still a little boy. Vayne's absence naturally caused much speculation as many said that Messallina blamed him for the death of her son, while others claimed that the priest had ordered Vayne to stay away due to what he had caused. A group also claimed that it was due to the emperor not being able to face his son just yet.
Regardless of whatever reason, Vayne was not there, and this would be because of the emperor.
Messallina was dressed in full mourning, completely in black. Her gown was not only of one colour, but made without any lace or decoration. In addition, her face was completely concealed by a thick black veil that fall to her waist.
This was mourning for husband, son and parent. All at the same time.
Though her face was covered, her emotions were not. Often, she would reach to wipe tears away and the maids reported that her eyes were red from weeping.
She returned to House Solidor on the night that all those dear to her were killed and she had whispered that there were ghosts in every corner of her parent's house, staring at her. Her son was sent to the priest but she would often express worry at someone stealing him away.
She was not mad, but it was certain that she was deeply affected by what had happened.
However, being back in House Solidor seemed to be good for her, as she and the empress found solace with another due to sharing their grief.
The truth, however, was not so simple. She was grieving, yes, but not so much for the people involved, but at what she had lost, at how things become like this.
However, this persona of a grieving widow, mother and daughter, was very useful. To the senate, she was a pawn that knew nothing. Therefore, she was a pawn they could and would ignore. Perhaps they might use her again in the future, but that would not be until a while later.
Grief would protect her.
Her future was not certain, but she knew that she had time to think of something.
A significant part of her father's wealth was confiscated, but the house was given to the inheritor of the title, the next head of the Meligeni family. Messallina was glad of this, as she certainly did not want to have any more dealing with it.
It was some distant relative she had met a few times. She could only hope that he was not ambitious as his predecessor.
"You can stay with us." The man said graciously when she was there to take her belongings away. "I can be your guardian if you wish."
"My father-in-law will provide for me." Messallina said. This was natural, since the emperor would cause a great scandal if he threw out his widowed daughter-in-law. However, she suspected that many of his actions were due to guilt and a suffering of conscious.
There were also numerous other families who came to pay their respect to her. Even though her parents were traitors, they were the head of the family, and she herself was in a powerful position. Most of the life, it was the repetition of the same old thing. However, there was a great surprise in store for her.
She was actually standing outside the house that she once knew so well, when she heard someone calling to her. Without knowing why, she suddenly wanted to look at the house again.
"Messallina!"
That person was dressed in a similar way: the simple and un-styled black dress, although she did not wear a veil. Despite the unflattering dress with her face free of any make up, and her golden hair completely unarranged, she still appeared very beautiful.
"Annallina." The sisters actually had not spoken since the other eloped. After all, Annallina now lived some distance away from the capital and only managed to visit that once.
"I was hoping to see you here." Annallina said and much to the younger sister's surprise, there was genuine concern. "I have heard about what happened- what our parents did, as well as what happened to your husband and child."
"Annallina…what do you want?" she asked wearily. "I am really tired."
"I know, I know." The other took her hand and the grip was actually very gentle. "But this is not a good place to talk. Come with me to my lodging."
It was a very simple inn that was better then the cheap ones at the slum by being very clean and in a safe location, although it was sparely furnished. That was probably why it could maintain such low price at this location.
Not to mention House Solidor, this was a huge contrast to what they received from their parents.
"My husband and I are still poor." Annallina admitted.
"Yet you are used to it?" she asked as she looked at the woman that she has not seen for such a long time.
"I have to. It is not easy, but I have to."
"Do you regret it?"
"…I did." The other said honestly. "There were times when I thought that love was not worth it, and it might be better to go back and ask for Father's forgiveness. However, the fact that I am always so stubborn ended up helping me. I refused to go back so I learnt to live with it. But Messallina, that is not what I want to talk to you about. The thing is…all this made me think. I know that this will sound weird, even though it shouldn't."
Messallina actually chuckled sadly at this. "Is this some sisterly declaration that we never had? Annallina, the beautiful golden haired first-born, blessed with intelligence and beauty, the favourite of our parent. Superior Annallina taking some pity on her inferior sister."
"It isn't like that!" Annallina said sharply. "Although I admit, it does look like that due to the past. But I realised, too much losses has happened in our family. I think, I really think that we should consider being sisters."
"You'll have me live with you? Annallina, you are poor."
"It will be difficult but I know I can do it. Besides, it is not safe where you are. You know it, don't you? House Solidor or the senate, if not both, would attempt to use you again."
"Most likely." She admitted. "But I can't accept your offer. I'll be honest…I can't just trust you like that."
Annallina was not offended, as her sister merely stated what was always there. She could also accept this decision, because she was only ready to make an attempt of loving her sister. This meant that she has yet to love her sister.
"If you change your mind…" she offered, and both sisters knew that this meant the end of the discussion. There would be no future attempts.
"Annallina, I used to think that you were stupid for eloping." Messallina said. "But I was wrong. You are poor, true, but it is better then any of this."
"Why do you stay then?"
"Because I don't know where else I could to go."
"Whatever happen with me will not be worse then what would happen here." Her sister said in that oddly gentle tone again.
"I know, but I think I actually want to see a bit more. Maybe," Messallina chuckled, "I really am the stupid one. Or maybe there is something wrong with me."
Initially, the empress created a fantasy world with a few realities. However, this world shattered due to things that she could not find a way to hide and deny. She was a broken woman now, as she spent most of her days weeping. It was not because she chose to, but because she simply did not know what else she could do.
Her only relief was sleep.
Messallina found herself being deeply grateful whenever the empress was asleep. Contrary to what others think, it was actually quite hard for her to be around her mother-in-law. Perhaps it was because the other was experiencing the guilt that she was pretending to feel.
Her parents' deaths were punishment for being too ambitious, while her husband and brother-in-law were dead due to fear at what they might do. Siorus' death was different as the executioner did so to prevent him suffering.
Would the death of the empress be similar?
"Mother, go and rest, I will look after Larsa." She whispered as she kissed the woman on the forehead. After what happened, the other became very paranoid of Larsa's safety. In fact, Messallina was sure that her departure would be very problematic, because saved for the head maid, Messallina was the only other that the empress trusted to be with Larsa.
"It is because you can understand my pain, as you lost a child so terribly too. That is why I know you will do all that you can to prevent such a thing from happening." The other had whispered.
"Why did it come to this?" her mother-in-law was whispering over and over upon Messallina's return. Right now, she could only see the harshness of reality.
"Vayne was not like this- he was a bookish child. He was not an unkind child, so why would he do such a thing?" It was always the same, the talk of the happier time in the past would always morph into the recent tragedy, as their happier memories were not enough. "And Tudur and Ewein…they were such good boys too."
"Don't think of these things, Mother." She implored again.
"But these are the only thing that I can think of. They are the only things that I have."
"Try to sleep, Mother." She whispered before she closed the door that connected the nursery to the empress' private room. Many times, the empress would suddenly wake up and run to the nursery, paranoid at something having happened to Larsa.
"Is she awake?"
"Lord Gramis." She said respectfully, but she did not move from the door. "She just went to sleep. I think it is best to let her sleep."
"You are saying that it would be better if she does not see me." Gramis acknowledged bitterly. "Does she still not wish to see me?"
"Not just you, Lord Gramis, but Lord Vayne too. She…she needs time." Messallina lied, but it was clear that her father-in-law was not fooled.
"Since she failed to face the truth throughout all those years, I do not think she can deal with an even crueller reality. Messallina, I hope that you will stay as your presence does her much good."
"She has always been very kind to me." she said honestly. "But I do not think my presence is doing anything."
"She trusts you with Larsa, is that not so? That is no small feat, because I do not think she trusts me with Larsa anymore." The other's voice was sad, yet it was also acceptant. "Messallina, I wish to discuss something with you, but it might be better to do it elsewhere. I do not want to cause her to shed any more tears."
"Yes, she has cried enough."
To Messallina, her father-in-law reminded her of her father in many ways. Despite both men not being very strong, they still seemed to have the strength to carry out an extremely busy day with great ease. They bore many responsibilities on their shoulder, yet they did not let anyone see it.
They were also men who would manipulate their own children.
However, the man that walked beside her seemed to be weighed down by his burden. His steps were slow and he even seemed to be slouching.
"At least I will recover." He said, reading her mind. "Messallina, you know what happened, do you not? I was told that Vayne…questioned you for a long time. And I have no doubt that my wife also revealed much."
"I know that the senate want my husband to die." She said softly. "They made Lord Vayne kill him. My father…was questioned like me, but unlike me, Lord Vayne believed that my father was guilty. The execution was carried out on that very night. I know that much."
"You lost much, perhaps the most. Tell me, do you hate my son for that? Do you also hate me for not doing anything?"
"Tudur does not speak of what he wants to do with me, but there have been times when he speaks of what he feared for you. That the senate will seize control. In addition, I am aware of why I married Tudur."
"You were happy in your marriage?"
"My husband had faults, but overall, he was very loving to me. Perhaps it was to conceal his guilt at what he would do, but the fact that he had been a loving husband would not change. Most of all," this was whispered as she placed her hands over her abdomen. "He gave me my precious boy."
"Do you blame those who took all this away then?" he repeated, bringing up the question again.
"They were traitors. It was for a good cause, but they were still traitors. You sir, I pity greatly, for you could not even save your sons. As for Lord Vayne…I do not hate him, because I feel that he is a bit like you. However, he is different from you. He scares me very much. He scares me because he is so calm."
She felt that Gramis believed her so easily because she was telling the truth. Yet what he didn't realise was that she was no longer scared of Vayne due to feeling a strange empathy for him. She knew a little more of Vayne as he was willing to show it to her.
"He was never close to Tudur or Ewein." Gramis said, but his daughter-in-law pointed out: "My sister came to my aid immediately. There is a powerful bond within one's blood."
"Your sister was the intended bride for Tudur, was she not?"
"Yes, and perhaps if she was, then it would be Tudur in your place. Or maybe there would be an additional corpse. Annallina is very different from me." Messallina said thoughtfully. "But she offered to let me live with her. I did not agree as I am not sure whether I want to. However, I have not refused her either, as I am not sure whether I want to stay here."
"I will ask you to stay here for my poor wife and my innocent son. Firstly, you are probably one of the few that my wife trusts. I also know that I can trust you with them. Perhaps not before, but I am fully certain now."
What reason would she have to hurt Larsa or the empress? In addition, this would be the most beneficial option for her. He also reasoned that she would desire to look after a child. However, he was still very cautious, as she would merely have one role.
"For now, you'll be like a nurse to him, but when he's older, you will be like a teacher to him. You are very suited for this role, as I know that you are very well educated and learnt. Of course, there will be help and protection after all that has happened. I will assign a bodyguard to Larsa. It would be one of the judges."
The implication was clear, although the overall arrangement indicated that Gramis did have a certain trust for her. It was a good bargain too. She was fond of the empress and Larsa, and staying here was more comfortable. The downside was that it was not as safe, but that would depend on how involved she would be. Most likely, she could be safe.
There was only one outlier to this plan.
"When you can…keep an eye on Vayne too." Gramis added.
"He loves Larsa, that is clear." She pointed out.
"But he is one that obeys all for the empire." Gramis pointed out.
So it seemed that the test was not only from the senate, Messallina thought. On that day, Gramis was deciding which son to destroy, which son to damage, and which son to protect.
Author's Note:Messallina is actually only 19 now, so she is quite young. Therefore, her being a widow would not help her that much. If she goes back to her relatives, then chances are they would use her. At the very least, when she stays in House Solidor, she would be left alone for the time being.
Annallina comes out because she realised that too much has happened. In addition, she also feels a bit guilty. After all, she was meant to be the one who marry Tudur. Also, when they were younger, she has bullied her sister. It is not very extreme, but Annallina always knew that she was smarter and prettier, so she has taunt Messallina with it. What Messallina said to her sister- about her being smarter, that was actually inspired by my kind reviewer. Annallina choose to elope and she gave up much power and wealth, and was generally seen as foolish. However, is this really bad? She still has a husband who cares about her, and who she cares about, and she is not in any political danger.