Batfam Bingo 2019
Square: Crack Fic (rough draft)
A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl
Summary: Why Raberba girl has spent the past two years reading Batman comics.
A/N: I am mentally picturing most of the kids as about the size of four-year-olds, and the younger ones as the size of two-year-olds.
Again, this square is not actually on my card, I just saw it on someone else's and came up with an idea for it. X'D
o.o.o
Once upon a time, there was a man named Bruce Wayne who was very sad because he'd lost his parents.
One day, Bruce was walking in the woods around his home. He came across a flock of owls chasing a small creature through the trees. Bruce drove off the birds and then looked down at the creature he had rescued.
It was tiny. "Oh my goodness," he said, picking up the creature to get a better look, "you are the most precious thing I have ever seen in my life."
"Those Owls were scary," the creature sniffled. "Thank you for saving me. I miss my mama and papa."
"And where are your mama and papa, little one?"
"They are dead."
"That is terrible. Who is taking care of you now?"
"Nobody."
"Well, that won't do at all," Bruce said.
Still carrying the creature in his arms, he brought it home to show his butler, Alfred. "Alfred!" Bruce called, setting the creature down on the kitchen counter, "Come look at this delightful thing I have found!"
Alfred entered and put on his spectacles so as to inspect the thing his master had brought. "Upon my word, I believe it is a Small Child."
"My name is Dick," the Small Child chirped. "I'm hungry!"
"Alfred, we must feed him at once. What do Small Children eat?"
"The same things that Adults do, I believe."
This turned out to be true, though Dick seemed to like the cookies better than the sandwiches. Bruce and Alfred watched avidly until their new addition to the household had sated himself, and both were quite charmed when Dick yawned and rubbed at his eyes. "Are you sleepy, chum?" Bruce asked.
"Nope, not a bit," Dick replied, but three minutes later, he was curled up fast asleep in Bruce's lap. "Alfred," Bruce said, "I love him."
"Very good, sir. I will prepare a room, and then you may put him to bed."
In the days afterward, Bruce found that he was not as sad as usual. In fact, he had much less time to even remember that he was sad, because he was kept so busy caring for his new Small Child. "Dick, I have been doing research, and the books say that children's sugar intake ought to be limited, and that the bulk of your diet must be healthy and nutritionally balanced."
"BRUCE WE'RE OUT OF COOKIES AND CAKE! TELL ALFRED TO MAKE SOME MORE!"
"Dick, come down from the chandelier, I don't think what you're doing is very safe."
For all the trouble Dick caused, Bruce treasured his Small Child, caring for and playing with Dick every day. He also became more alert to other people's Children whenever he went into town. "Bruce! Bruce!" Dick said, tugging on Bruce's pant leg while they were visiting the library, "Look, she's pretty!"
Bruce looked where his son was pointing, and saw a Small Child with red hair reading a book. "I see," he said, very interested.
Dick ran over to the other child. "Hi! My name is Dick! I like your hair."
"Hello," the girl said politely.
"What's your name?"
"I'm Barbara."
"Barbara," Bruce said, "would you like to come home with me and be my daughter?"
"No."
"No?! Why not?"
"I already have a parent."
"Oh," Bruce said in disappointment.
"Bruce," said a voice, and Bruce turned around to find his friend Jim approaching, "you cannot take Children who do not belong to you unless they don't belong to anyone else. Barbara is already mine."
"Oh, I see."
"Do you want a cookie?" Dick asked, offering one to Barbara.
"Dick, where did you get that?" Bruce asked, because he thought he and Alfred had hidden the cookies.
"I found it and sneaked it into my pocket when you weren't looking."
Bruce realized he would need to find a better hiding place for the cookies.
"Bruce," Jim said, "you cannot take other people's Children to keep, but you may borrow them to play with your own Children. Perhaps we could arrange play dates for Barbara and Dick."
"Yes, I think Dick would like that, and so would I."
Bruce thought his life could not get any happier. Then, one night, he returned to his car and found a tiny creature busily working to remove the last of the vehicle's tires. "Oh my goodness gracious, it is a Small Child!"
"Buzz off, old man," the Child snarled.
Bruce was rather taken aback, because neither Dick nor Barbara had never been so rude and hostile. However, this little boy was still just as adorable even though he struggled greatly when Bruce picked him up.
"Lemme go!"
"Now, just wait a minute. Tell me why you were stealing my tires, little boy."
"I was going to sell them so I can buy food, because I'm SO HUNGRY!"
"Well, that is a very easy problem to fix," Bruce said, and bought a meal for the little boy.
"No! I can't pay you back!"
"You don't have to pay me back. People should feed small and cute things for free when they have no parents to feed them."
The little boy growled at him, but was so hungry he started to eat.
"What is your name?" Bruce asked.
"Not gonna tell ya."
"That is all right, I can give you a name. I shall name you Thomas."
"NO! My name's Jason!"
"Oh. Well, that is a nice name, too, even though it is not as good as Thomas. What about Martha, would you like that to be your name instead?"
"NO! MY NAME'S JASON!"
"Yes, yes, all right. I will take you home and care for you and love you, Jason."
"No!"
Despite the Child's protests, Bruce took him home. As soon as the door of the Manor opened, Jason ran to hide behind a sofa.
"What was that?" Dick asked in surprise.
"That was a Child I found to be your little brother, Dick."
"Really? Yay!" Dick went to climb onto the sofa to get a better look at his new brother.
"That Child is very different from the first one," Alfred observed.
"Yes, I think he has been abused. We must be very gentle and kind to him, Alfred."
"Certainly, sir."
It took a few days for Jason to be persuaded that his new home was safe. Though still skittish, he began to creep out of hiding to play games with Dick, and often watched Bruce or Alfred with great interest. "Whatcha doin'?" Jason asked one day when he came upon Bruce in the library.
"I am reading a book."
"What book?"
"This is called Oliver Twist. I like it because it is a story about a Child who is eventually adopted."
"Oh. Well, I think you should read this instead," Jason said, holding up a book by Jane Austen.
"But I am not finished with Oliver Twist."
"So? Put a bookmark in Oliver and read this one instead!"
Bruce sighed, but did as his Child wished.
After a minute, Jason cried, "No, dummy, read it out loud! So I can hear the story!"
"Oh." Now the request made more sense. "Very well. Would you like to sit in my lap?"
"No."
"That is all right, I will read to you anyway." Bruce cleared his throat and started again from the beginning, this time out loud. Although Jason did not sit in his lap, the boy soon climbed up to lean on Bruce's back and shoulders as he listened, and that was just as good.
Bruce was happy now, living in his grand old house with his fatherly butler and his two adorable children. His life was no longer easy, for Dick had far more energy than Bruce did and Jason still often argued and hid, but that only made the good times all the sweeter.
One afternoon, when Bruce was at work, the ground floor receptionist called and said, "Mr. Wayne, there is a little creature here whom I think you will be interested to take a look at."
"Thank you, Lisa, I'll be right down," said Bruce.
When he reached the foyer, he stopped and broke into a delighted smile. "Well, hello, there."
The creature stood up. "Hello, Mr. Wayne, my name is Timothy. I have been watching you, and I noticed that you have an interest in Small Children. I am a Small Child, and I am very lonely and sad because I have no one to take care of me, so I was wondering if you would like to take me home to keep, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce picked up the little boy and said, "I would like that very much, Timothy."
Timothy's face lit up. "Really? Oh, that makes me very glad. I promise I will be a good boy."
"I'm sure you will, Timothy."
Bruce fed his new Child some treats and then took him to his office. He thought that Timothy would simply play until it was time to go home, but the boy climbed into his lap as Bruce sat at his desk and pointed at the left computer screen. "I know how to do that," he said.
"You know how to compare inspection reports to company guidelines?"
"Yes, I am very good at reports, and also coding and emails. And hacking, but only if you won't get mad. If you don't like hacking, then I am very bad at it."
"I'll tell you what, Timothy, why don't I set you up with a simulator and see if you can find any weakness in the Wayne Enterprises digital defenses."
By the end of the day, Timothy had found one serious weakness and four minor ones, and was working on coding patches. "Timothy," Bruce said, "it is five o'clock. Time to go home."
"But I haven't finished any of the patches yet."
"That's okay, Timothy. You found a stopgap measure for the worst one and made good progress on that patch. My IT department will be working on it in the meantime. But you are not an IT worker, you are a Small Child, and it is time for me to take you home and feed you."
"That's okay, Mr. Wayne, I'm not hungry."
Bruce was surprised. He had never before had a Child who was not hungry. "Well, maybe you can eat, anyway. And I told you, you may call me Bruce. You don't have to call me 'Mr. Wayne' anymore because I am your parent now."
"Okay, Mr. Bruce."
Bruce shut down his computer, picked up his briefcase, took Timothy by the hand, and went down to his car. He drove home and called his family together. "Who's that?" Jason screeched, looking displeased.
"This is your new brother, Timothy."
"Hi, Timmy!" Dick said. "Can I hug you?"
"Yes," Tim said, and was hugged.
"I don't want another brother!" Jason protested.
Bruce was nonplussed. "Why not?"
"Because I don't like him!"
"But how could you not like him when he is so cute?"
"I'm cute enough, you don't need another cute thing!"
"Jason is jealous," Dick explained. "He thinks you wanted a new Child because the ones you already had weren't good enough."
"Oh." Bruce had not thought of that. "Well, that's not true, Jason. I wanted a new Child because Children make me happy, and it seems the more Children I have, the happier I get."
"Oh." Jason grabbed Bruce's shirt and pulled until Bruce picked him up and hugged him. "I love you, Jaylad."
"Okay. I'm hungry."
Not long after that, Tim came in from playing and came into Bruce's study. "Dad, I found something that I think you will like. Her name is Stephanie."
Bruce turned away from his work and perked up. "You are right, Tim, I like her very much."
"How do you even know you like me when we only just met?" the little girl protested.
"You are clearly a Small Child. That is good enough."
"Oh. Want to see me do a trick?"
"Yes, I do."
Stephanie proceeded to turn a cartwheel. "Ta-da!"
"Very good." Bruce hugged both Children.
"May we keep her, Dad?" Tim asked. "Her Adults are not taking very good care of her."
"I certainly hope we can keep her, Tim."
A week later, Bruce took his growing family to a restaurant for lunch. When they brought their food out to the terrace, they saw a small creature moving among the tables that hadn't been cleared yet, collecting leftover food.
"Look, Bruce, it's another one," Barbara said as the Small Child hopped over the fence and hid in the bushes.
"I see her, Barbara."
"And it's a girl! Catch her, Bruce, you have too many boys," Stephanie insisted.
"No, you'll scare her," Jason objected. "Pretend you don't see her and leave food where she can reach it easy."
By the end of lunch, the new Child was sitting at the table with them and had her own plate. Everyone was debating what to call her, because for some reason, she did not speak. "We should call her Ninja."
"No, that's a cat name, not a girl name! We should name her Celeste."
"We could name her Martha," Bruce suggested.
"No, that's an old lady name!"
"We should name her Cassandra," Barbara said.
"Yeah! Like Jane Austen's sister," Jason agreed.
Since that was the only name more than one person agreed on, that was the one that stuck.
Cass came home with everyone just like a member of the family, because she was one now. As Bruce was tucking her into her new bed that night, he said, "Cass, you will never have to scrounge for food again."
The little girl nuzzled her face against Bruce's arm in a way that clearly meant, "I feel safe with you."
"I'm glad, because I want to love you and keep you safe."
Cass smiled at him, and he smiled back.
"Master Bruce," Alfred said the next morning at breakfast, as Jason and Stephanie fought over the shape of their pancakes and Cass climbed on the refrigerator and Tim fell asleep on his plate and Dick poured so much milk into his bowl that cereal fell out, "I think this is starting to become a problem."
"What is, Alfred?"
"The sheer number of your Children, sir. I highly suggest that you stop adopting new ones and focus your attention on the ones you already have."
"I don't look for Children on purpose, Alfred. They always come to me."
"Nevertheless, might I suggest that the next time a Child crosses your path, you turn it in to a shelter rather than taking it home yourself?"
"But what if it is exceptionally cute, Alfred, and I cannot resist?"
"Then you will telephone me at once, and I will talk some sense into you."
"Well...all right, Alfred," Bruce said, disappointed.
However, the next time Bruce found the opportunity to acquire a Child, it was not because he happened to find one crossing his path. It was because Wayne Enterprises installed a new vending machine in the employee break room, and when Bruce passed by it, his attention was caught at once. Babymaker! Build Your Own Child! it proclaimed on the front.
Bruce stepped up to the screen and experimentally started following the instructions.
Welcome! Thank you for using Babymaker! Please submit a DNA sample.
Bruce pressed his fingertip to the blinking pad.
Please select a mate.
Bruce selected the first one presented, which was a picture of a beautiful woman that had the caption 'Talia al Ghul.'
Please select a gender for your Child.
Bruce selected 'Male' and then impatiently tapped through most of the default options for physical characteristics.
Please confirm choices. Insert money and press 'Confirm' when ready to finalize.
Since '$4.99' was blinking in large numbers at the bottom of the screen, Bruce fed a $5 bill into the vending machine and then tapped the 'Confirm' button.
Please wait while your Child is being generated.
Bruce paced around in a circle. Then the machine dinged, and he rushed to open the slot at the bottom, not even paying attention to the 'Congratulations on your new Child!' message or the receipt that popped out.
A tiny, light brown hand was gripping the edge of the chute, and another was groping uncertainly. Bruce grasped the searching hand and tenderly helped his new son out of the vending machine.
The little boy blinked in the bright lights of the break room. "Father?"
"Hello, son. My name is Bruce. It is very good to meet you."
"My name is Damian. Where is Mother?"
"Er-" Bruce looked at the screen, hoping for answers, but it had already gone back to its default display. He took the receipt and resolved to research the data later. "She is on vacation. Damian, you are my new Child, and I love you."
"As you should."
Excited, Bruce picked up Damian in one arm to cuddle him and used his free hand to eagerly tap at the screen again.
"What are you doing, Father?"
"Purchasing another Child."
"But you already have me!"
"Yes, but I would like another one. A girl, maybe, to be your little sister."
"She will be younger than me," Damian insisted. "I am the eldest."
"Older than her, yes," Bruce said in distraction, feeding another $5 bill into the machine.
A little girl crawled out of the slot.
"Hello, darling. My name is Bruce, and I am your father."
"My name is Athanasia," the little girl announced, then took out a dagger and stabbed Bruce with it.
"Why did you do that?" Bruce asked in bewilderment, putting down Damian so he could press a hand over his bleeding wound.
"To test you. You failed. I am ashamed to have such an unworthy parent."
"Do not speak about Father that way!" Damian shouted, and attacked her with a tiny sword that he apparently came equipped with.
Bruce watched his new children fight, in too much pain to stop them. 'I have made a mistake,' he thought. He turned back to the vending machine and tapped at the screen again. 'I need a less violent Child. I will not go with the defaults this time.'
There were many good-looking mates to choose from, but Bruce was starting to get light-headed from blood loss, so he finally just picked the one holding a handful of jewels, because there were pearls in the collection and he liked pearls. He fed another bill into the machine and then watched eagerly until a third child came crawling out. "Hello," he greeted her. "I am your new father."
"My name's Helena. Why are you bleeding, Daddy?" Helena asked.
"Because your sister stabbed me." Bruce looked around for the other children, and found both them screaming because Athanasia was pinning Damian and Damian was kicking Athanasia. "Children, stop fighting at once!"
Both of them ignored him. Bruce did not know what to do, but then he couldn't do anything at all because he fainted from loss of blood.
He woke up in an ambulance. "What happened?"
"You fainted, Mr. Wayne," said one of the EMTs. "Who was it that stabbed you?"
Bruce looked down at the foot of the gurney, where Damian, Athanasia, and Helena were all staring at him soulfully. "Nobody," he said.
"But someone had to have stabbed you, Mr. Wayne!"
"It was...a ninja."
"Oh dear, that's terrible."
Athanasia raised her head high and smiled. Damian pouted and pushed her. Helena crawled up the gurney and curled up at Bruce's side, and he put an arm around her. "I'm okay, sweetheart."
"Don't die, Daddy."
"I won't."
At the hospital, Bruce's injury was treated and he was established in a room to recover. He turned on the television for his new Children to watch. Damian and Helena were enthralled, but Athanasia looked bored, so Bruce started playing chess with her on his phone. She was very good at it.
Soon, Alfred came in with the older Children. "Dad!" Jason cried, running to hug him, "Did you get mugged?!"
"No, son. A ninja stabbed me, but don't worry, they're gone now."
"WHAT IS THAT?!" Dick shrieked, pointing at Damian with a giant smile. "IT'S TINY AND ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT!"
"Children," Bruce announced, determinedly ignoring Alfred's wrathful expression, "these are your new siblings, Damian, Athanasia, and Helena." Dick had already run to engulf both Damian and Helena in a bear hug.
"Father!" Damian cried, ignoring the hug, "You have told me a falsehood! I was supposed to be the eldest!"
"Well, actually, Damian, my other Children are older than you, but don't worry, you are older than both Athanasia and Helena."
"So cuuuuuute," Dick crooned, "so cu~u~u~u~ute!"
"Unhand me at once, cur!"
"My name is Dick, not Cur."
"Dad," Tim asked anxiously, peering over the edge of the bed, "do you like Damian and Athanasia and Helena more than me? It's okay if you do, I was just wondering so I know whether to go hide in the closet and cry or not."
"Tim," Bruce said, scooping him onto the bed with him, "I love you and all my other Children very, very much, none of you more or less than the others."
"You better not be lying," Jason said, climbing up to possessively put his arms around Bruce's neck.
Once all the Children had fallen asleep, most of them squeezed onto Bruce's bed with him, Alfred said in great disapproval, "Master Bruce, you promised to cease adopting Children, yet it has been less than a month and now you procure three at once."
"There was a vending machine, Alfred. I couldn't resist."
"I shall see to it that the machine is removed at once."
Bruce pouted, but then looked down at his Children and felt cheered up by their adorable sleeping faces.
Some time later, Bruce was going about his business as Batman when another Batman stepped out of an alley. "I think I am in the wrong Gotham," the Other Batman said.
"What do you mean? There is only one Gotham," said Batman.
"On the contrary, there are many alternate universes," said Other Batman. "I must have wandered into this one by mistake."
"Tell me," Batman said, "if there is an alternate universe with an alternate version of me, does that mean that there is an alternate version of my Children in your world?"
"Why, yes; I have children, so I assume you do, too. I have an adopted son named Dick and a biological son named Bruce Jr., and I love them both very much."
"Good heavens! My world has a Dick, but it does not have a Bruce Jr. I suppose I have not met him yet."
"Perhaps. By the way, do you think I could come to your Batcave and arrange a way home from there?"
"Certainly." Batman led the way back to the Batmobile. As they approached, a Small Child popped out from behind it.
"Hello, Mr. Batman!" she said. "I fixed your car."
"What was wrong with my car, little girl?"
"It didn't have a gas tank."
"That's because it runs on solar power and electricity, which are better for the environment than gasoline is."
"Oh. Well, I added a gas tank, anyway."
"That was unnecessary, but very thoughtful. Tell me, little girl, what is your name?"
"My name is Harper!"
"And do you have Adults who take good care of you, Harper?"
"Nope!"
"I see. In that case, please get in the car, so that I may take you home and adopt you."
"Okay, but only if my little brother Cullen comes, too!"
Batman smiled in delight at the thought of acquiring an extra, second Child when he'd only thought there would be one. "Certainly. Tell me where he is so we can pick him up on the way home."
Once they reached the Manor, Bruce introduced his two new Children to his eight other ones. Alfred said nothing, but he was so angry that he started cleaning the kitchen cabinets and threw out all of Bruce's favorite coffee (but was careful to keep Tim's). Batman led Other Batman down to the cave and, after much research, was able to get him safely home.
Even though Other Batman was gone, Batman was still intrigued by the idea of alternate universes. He started tinkering until he found a way to go into another universe himself and come back with another person. His goal was to find a Bruce Jr. in a universe where the boy had no Adults to take care of him, and Batman was eventually successful, but only after he had passed through several other universes on the way. "Children," he announced when he returned home, looking around the cave at all the curious little faces, "these are your new brothers, Bruce Jr. and Rui, and your new sister, Carrie."
"K-Konnichi wa," Rui said nervously.
"There sure are a lot of you," Carrie commented.
"Alfred's gonna be mad," Stephanie said.
"Yes, but if none of us tell him, perhaps Carrie, Bruce Jr., and Rui will blend in with the crowd and he won't notice."
Alfred, however, noticed immediately at the next meal, when the horde of Children ran to claim plates and came up three short. "MASTER BRUCE."
"I'm not hungry," Bruce said quickly, breaking his plate in three pieces and setting one piece in front of Carrie, another in front of Bruce Jr., and the third in front of Rui. "I decided not to eat dinner, so I put my plate back into the cupboard. Don't worry, you did not miscount."
"I TOLD YOU, NO MORE CHILDREN."
"But they blend in!"
"THEY DO NOT. THIS MORNING, YOU HAD TEN CHILDREN (PLUS MISS GORDON), AND NOW YOU HAVE THIRTEEN."
"I think that maybe you are so old, you have forgotten how to count, Alfred."
"MASTER BRUCE, GO TO YOUR ROOM."
Bruce obeyed. He pouted for a while until Cassandra sneaked in through his window and cuddled with him, which cheered him up. Then Dick and Damian sneaked in with treats they had stolen from the pantry, then Jason with a stack of books to keep him entertained, and by the time half his children had joined him in Time Out, Bruce felt better.
By the time Bruce was allowed out of his room, Alfred had confiscated his multiverse equipment. Bruce tried to be good, but one day when he was walking to a café during his lunch break, he came across a Small Child who was trotting down the street unaccompanied. "Little boy, where are your parents?"
"They are missing. I have to find them."
"Oh dear. I will help you look." Bruce did not go back to his office, but instead spent the rest of the afternoon helping the Child look for his parents. When they finally found them, Bruce and the child, Duke, were dismayed to find that Duke's parents were very ill.
"Mom! Dad! It's me, Duke!"
But they only laughed Joker laughter. Duke was very sad, and Bruce felt awful for him. He paid for Mr. and Mrs. Thomas to be taken care of at the best hospital in the city, and then he said, "Duke, would you like to live in my house until they are better and can take care of you again?"
"I don't know, because you are a stranger and I shouldn't trust strangers."
"I might be a stranger, but I am also Batman."
"Oh. Well, in that case, I suppose it's all right."
Bruce took his new Child home.
"Master Bruce, you are grounded for one year."
"That seems excessive, Alfred."
"Do you know what else is excessive, Master Bruce?" Alfred said, and pointed at the pool, where fifteen children were splashing and playing.
Bruce was no longer allowed to leave the Manor, so he spent all his days playing with the Children and all his nights working in the Batcave. That was how he invented time travel. "Now, Children," he said to the three little ones he brought back from his experiments, "you must be very quiet and hide from my butler, Alfred, or he will be angry and punish me."
"I don't care if he punishes you," said Terry.
"DINOSAAAUUURRR!" Tina yelled, and ran to climb on it.
"But, Terry," Bruce said, "if he punishes me again, then I will not be able to find anymore siblings for you."
"I already have a perfectly good sibling!" Terry yelled, pointing at his little brother. Matt smiled brightly.
"Yes, but don't you want more?"
"No!"
"Hm."
Bruce fed his new Children protein bars and worked on disguises for them. When his other Children woke up from their naps and came down to the cave to play, they gathered around their new siblings curiously.
"They are not siblings, they are pets," Bruce explained. "This is Terry the bear, Matt the puppy, and Tina the raccoon."
"Those are kids in giant animal onesies," Jason pointed out.
"I like your kigurumi," Rui told the newcomers politely.
"Thanks!" Matt said, and Tina growled playfully while swiping her 'paws.'
"Father," Damian pouted, "I want real pets, not more unwanted siblings in terrible disguises that won't fool Pennyworth for a moment."
"Maybe I should replace the felt with faux fur," Bruce mused.
When Alfred announced dinner and watched the family stream into the dining room, he noted the newcomers. Bruce watched apprehensively, but Alfred only paused for a long moment before saying calmly, "I see I have miscounted the plates again."
Bruce smiled in relief.
The next morning, Bruce went to fetch the mail, and spent a while talking to an unhappy lady who was waiting for him at the front gates. When he came back, he found Alfred waiting for him in the foyer with an extremely prim look on his face. "Master Bruce."
"...Yes, Alfred?"
"I have confiscated all your Children. They are all in my quarters, and you will not be allowed access to them or to the cave until I have judged you cured of your Child hoarding."
"...Okay, Alfred," Bruce said meekly, and turned away, hurrying faster when Alfred frowned suspiciously.
Once safely in his room, Bruce untied his bathrobe and let the creature hidden inside climb out onto his bed. "I'm sorry, Alina," he apologized. "You won't be able to meet them as soon as I thought, but as soon as I trick Alfred into thinking I'm cured, I promise to introduce you to all your brothers and sisters, all right?"
"Yay!" his newest daughter cheered. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you, too, Alina," Bruce said, and hugged her.
The End!
Final Child count: 18.5