Part XII
The following morning I woke up the same way I went to sleep; on my side facing away from Draco. Draco lay behind me with one of his arms wrapped around my belly. It made me think of the first time I slept here. Then Draco shifted a bit behind me―obviously he was still asleep―but I could feel his crotch against my buttocks. Was it just me or did he have a slight erection? I spread my legs a little so that his crotch touched that. I heard Draco sigh near my ear and I felt a bit more daring because he obviously did react in his sleep. I moved my buttocks against his crotch and closed my eyes at the delicious friction that I felt. Normally I would not do something like this so quickly, but Draco was different. Besides, I still felt horny. I felt Draco harden against me and I rubbed a little bit harder. Then Draco moaned. That encouraged me and gave me a satisfied feeling.
"Still horny then, hmm?" Draco whispered and held me a bit tighter. Then his hand wandered down underneath the covers and he caressed my thigh. "What do you want me to do?"
"Touch me," I whispered.
"I am touching you," he replied.
"Draco," I said and glanced over my shoulder.
"What?" Draco asked and slid his hand back up to my belly. He rubbed my belly and kissed my neck. "Good morning," he whispered and buried his face into the wild mass that was my hair.
"Morning," I replied.
"If you don't remove that tight butt of yours from my crotch, I'll go mad," he said.
"Why?"
"Because I'm getting hard, that's why," Draco replied and pushed against me for confirmation. I uttered a soft 'oof' sound that came out as a moan. He was getting hard indeed. "I don't think you'll appreciate that, so let's go back to sleep or eat breakfast or something."
"Why do you not do something about it?" I asked, referring to his obvious erection.
"Because," Draco said.
"Because? What kind of answer is that?" I asked. I rolled over onto my other side so that I faced him. "Before we got together you did not mind touching me. You felt me up even. Why is it such a problem for you now? Do you want me to shower first or something?"
"Huh?"
I sighed and pushed the covers off my body. "Never mind," I said softly and reached for my jeans. Draco wrapped his arms around my belly to keep me on the bed. He sat behind me and sighed into my ear.
"I don't mean to make you feel like I don't want you now that we're together. I want to respect your feelings. I honestly didn't think that you'd want to go beyond kissing so soon because of your religious upbringing. I need to stop myself from touching you because I don't want to cross your personal boundaries, OK? I do want you, but I don't want to go too fast either."
"OK," I said. "If you just told me that in the first place, then I would have been satisfied enough. I do understand your point though."
"Good," Draco replied and kissed my neck again. He moved away from behind me and got off the bed. He looked sexy in just his underwear. I tried not to look at his crotch, but it was irresistible. I could not help myself. "I'm going to get dressed, so if you feel uncomfortable or something, you can get dressed in the bathroom if you want."
"Eh, OK," I said and grabbed my clothes. I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I was not ready to see Draco naked yet, even though I had wanted him to touch me earlier. But I was very curious, I admit that.
"There's a spare tooth brush in the small dresser next to the left sink," Draco said through the door.
"OK, thank you," I said and opened the drawer of the small dresser that stood on the tiled floor. I saw razor blades, deodorant, and two spare brushes that were still in their wrapping. I took one out and grabbed a tube of tooth paste. I quickly brushed my teeth when I heard Draco knocking on the door.
"Are you dressed?" he asked.
I unlocked the door and opened it. "Of course I am dressed," I said. "I just brushed my teeth and I am going to attempt to brush my hair."
Draco smiled and reached out to touch my untamable dark hair. He slid his fingers into my hair. "It doesn't feel very untamable to me. It feels pretty soft," he said.
"It may feel soft, but it sticks up all over the place," I said and walked up to the sink and picked up a comb. I managed to brush my bangs fairly easily, but the hair on the back of my head where it was a little bit longer was a bit harder to brush. Draco walked up behind me and took the brush out of my hand. He slid the comb through my hair and gently combed everything without pulling any hair out, which I would normally do out of frustration if my hair did not want to cooperate. "I think I am going to cut it short."
"You shouldn't," Draco said. "It looks beautiful. You've got beautiful dark hair and gorgeous green eyes."
"But this makes me look younger," I complained and watched my reflection in the mirror. I watched Draco putting his hands on my shoulders. "I do not want people to think that I am a teenager instead of an adult."
"You don't look like a teenager, but you certainly have a youthful quality about you. That doesn't have to be negative. Wear your hair like you want to wear it."
I looked thoughtfully at my mane while Draco brushed his teeth. I shrugged and went through the other door that led to the living area of the apartment. I did not spot Draco's roommate, thankfully―I still do not really like her―and I made a pot of coffee for both me and Draco. I took two mugs, the sugar and cream and two spoons. I did not know what Draco wanted in his coffee, so I kept his mug empty. I looked up when Draco joined me; I still found it hard to believe that this man was now my boyfriend. He looked so handsome in his dark jeans and tight black shirt. The shirt defined his torso really well and his arms looked very good in it. I liked his arms a lot; they were muscular and strong.
"Hey, thanks," Draco said and stood next to me, waiting until the coffee machine was finished.
"I did not know what you add to your coffee, so … I left your mug empty," I said.
"I put some soy cream in my coffee and too much sugar than is good for my teeth," Draco shrugged. "I tried to lessen the amount of sugar I put in my coffee, but then the coffee gets too bitter for my taste."
"I use very little sugar and a bit of cream," I said. Then the coffee machine made a gurgling sound; the signal that the coffee was ready to be poured. We sat down at the wooden dinner table and quietly drank our coffee.
"Is your colleague at the bookstore now?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "Otherwise I could not have spent the night here."
"I'm glad you stayed here," Draco said and looked up from his black mug of coffee. "What are you doing today?"
"Er … I am not sure," I shrugged. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I wanted to show you where I work. I'm not on duty today, but it should be OK if I show you around," Draco replied.
"Where do you work then?" I asked.
"I work at the Malfoy family business," he said and seemed proud of it. "My father owns the place and wants me to follow in his footsteps when he retires, but I told him that he should pick the person who is most suited for a job like that and he shouldn't pick favorites because I'm his son. There are a few cousins and an aunt who would be suitable to take the job as owner of Malfoy Inc. I don't know why my father thinks that I could do it," he said softly.
"But what do you do then? What is your job? What does everyone do?"
"We're a business company," Draco said. "We invest in smaller companies to help them grow and we're the biggest company in New York, so there's some competition, but I think we're just good. People prefer to work with people who know what they're doing, and we know what we're doing. I have to make sure that everything goes well, and I hold meetings within the company to discuss statistics and I go to other companies we invested in to help those people if they have questions and those kind of things. We have deals with companies abroad as well, so a lot of times of the year I leave the States for about three to eight weeks."
"So you are gone often then?" I asked. "But how are we going to make this work then?"
"Don't worry about that, Harry," Draco said. "You're allowed to go with me as my partner, but I don't know if you want that since you've got your job at the bookstore."
"To what countries have you been to?"
"I've been to Europe more times than I can count," Draco said with a soft chuckle. "I've been to Paris a few times; it's a gorgeous city, and very romantic. I've been to Berlin, Amsterdam, Prague, Vienna, Rome, Moscow, Tokyo … Beijing as well, by the way. A translator goes with me and a few of our best advisors when we go abroad. I don't speak a lot of languages, but just in case people don't know English, or if their English is very poor, then we can use a translator. I know French and a bit of Japanese, but those other languages are pretty difficult. I'm glad that most people in Europe learn English at an early age."
"They do?"
"Yeah, they do," Draco nodded. "Kids in the Netherlands learn English at primary school and they continue studying English, German and French in high school. Pretty impressive right? Most Americans don't speak a second language."
"That is very impressive," I said. "Do you really speak French? I think it is a beautiful and romantic language, but it seems difficult to me."
"Yes, French is indeed a beautiful language," Draco said. The French words rolled off his tongue like that.
"I do not know what you said, but it sounded very sexy," I said.
Draco laughed. "Thank you," he said in French. "I think you're quite sexy as well. I like learning new languages. They come easy to me if I'm motivated enough."
"And you speak Japanese as well? How did you learn that?"
"I watched a lot of Japanese anime when I was younger," Draco said. "My mother thought it a bit too violent for my age, but my father told her that I should do whatever I wanted to do and if I wanted to watch those 'cartoons' as he called them, then he wouldn't stop me. I learned a thing or two by watching anime. I studied Japanese in school and I've been to Japan a couple of times. Those people almost look at you as if you're a God."
"I am sure it has to do with your light blond hair color and your height. Asians are not very tall, let alone blond," I said.
"True, but they are very friendly. And hopefully they changed their minds about Americans a little bit. They think we're all greedy for money and stuff like that. I made a few Japanese friends, who I still speak with. They're quite clever, except for the fact that they eat whale meat and hunt dolphins and other whales and kill sharks for their fins," he said. "I'm trying to stop the hunt for whales and sharks there and I'm trying to make Japanese people see that what they're doing on such a large scale is not a very good idea."
I nodded and finished my coffee. "I would think that you would not want to come near Japanese people because of what they are doing."
"Not everyone does it," Draco said. "But anyway, I speak French fluently, I speak Japanese, a little bit of German, and my Dutch is rather poor. You'd think that Dutch would be easy to learn if you get the hang of speaking German, but think again. The two languages are nothing alike. It may sound similar, but the grammar is very different."
"I do not really know the difference," I admitted. "It all sounds the same to me."
"I would like to take you to Paris sometime," Draco said. "We could climb the Eiffel Tower and hold a picnic at one of those beautiful gardens."
"Is this one of your extreme romantic moments?" I asked.
"Yes," Draco said and smiled a bit. "Europe is so much different from the US. Gays are more accepted there, and French people are hilarious. They have this pride and it's like being French is better than being American. Hell, I think I would prefer to be French than American, or Dutch. Dutch people are very laid back. They won't blink twice if they see a same sex couple walking hand in hand."
"They would not?"
"No, they're very open-minded people," Draco said. "It's not all cheese, tulips, windmills, prostitutes and wooden shoes there. It's a stereotype a lot of Americans believe in. But whatever. What were we talking about? Oh, yes, my job. I don't know what you could call my function within the company, but I'm pretty much in charge there. Some family members resent me for that because they worked very hard to get where they are now, and I really pushed my father to think about who he is going to give his position to. He's going to retire in a couple of years and someone has to take over. I just don't want him to pick me because I'm his son. I want him to pick someone who is best suited for that job and who can really help the business forward."
"I understand," I nodded. "Apparently your father thinks that you are good enough to take over his position in a few years. That must mean something."
"Sure, but there are enough people, cousins, uncles and aunts of mine that have brilliant ideas and who have a big chance to get further then where they are. There are people who like what they're doing, and it's difficult to keep everyone satisfied, I know that, but you have to do what's best for the company. You can't let personal preferences get in the way of that."
"Spoken like a true businessman," I said. "I did not even know what you did for a living. I suppose it does suit you a bit."
"I heard that from more people," Draco said. "Perhaps you can meet my father at the company. He would most likely call my mom to tell her about you and she will want to meet you too."
"Already? Is that not a bit too soon?"
"If you don't want to meet them … then we'll go someplace else," Draco shrugged. Though I could notice that he wanted me to meet them, even though we had not been together very long.
"No, it is OK. I would like to see where you work." I smiled when Draco smiled at me. He stood up and kissed me.
We decided to have lunch first before we would go to the company. Of course I had heard of Malfoy Inc. It was well known because of its success and the handsome people that work there. I believe they were in the news a few times as well because they had so much success. I remember seeing a very blond man in a black suit speaking to a news reporter. Perhaps that was Draco's father? We had lunch at the Champion where the adorable waiter with blond hair and pink highlights was skipping about. He looked very hyper active.
"What do you think of him?" Draco asked and took a bite of his sandwich. "He's cute, right?"
"I think I prefer someone like you," I whispered across the table. "You know, masculine."
Draco snorted softly and grinned at me. "He's not very fem, but … those highlights always crack me up a little. He is a nice young man though, he's just very excited and that easily gives his sexuality away, as if those highlights don't have people questioning him already," he added. "I went with a group to Texas once―horrible place to go to when you're with a group of gay men―and Kevin was there too with his pink highlights in his hair. It was a mild disaster," he said. "There was a group of Texans and they were yelling profanities at us and called us faggots, queers, sinners and stuff like that. But they didn't call me those names to my face. I was the only one who didn't get verbally kicked to the ground. After some time that group of Texans approached us and asked us what the hell we were doing here and blah blah blah. I told them that we wanted to see some sun and get a nice tan."
"What did they say?"
"They asked me if I was one of them as well," Draco said and rolled his eyes. Then Kevin, the waiter, approached us with two glasses of coke. "Hey, Kevin, remember that road trip to Texas a couple of years ago?"
"How could I forget?" Kevin asked sarcastically and gave us our drinks. "Blaise wanted to go to Texas, 'To see the sun,' he said. More guys agreed with him, more queens who wanted a tan. You and I were the only ones who objected. There's sun in California honey, why not go there, you know?"
"That was 'too far away'," Draco said, using air-quotes. "I told everyone how religious they are down there and that we would get kicked to the ground if we asked for a place to stay at one of their hotels or whatever. I mean, a few of us were obvious."
"Like me, you mean?" Kevin asked.
"That's not what I said. I said that there were a few guys who give off this gay vibe a mile off," Draco said. "God, why didn't they listen? LA is a pro-gay town and Texas is as religious and conservative as they come."
"I know," Kevin nodded. "It's been a few years ago, most has been forgotten, and most of us have moved on. I'm never going down to Texas though. No fucking way."
"Excellent choice, Kev. Go to LA or San Diego or stay here in Manhattan, the place to be or not to be," Draco said.
"Right," Kevin snorted. "You're acting weird. Do you have a new lover or something?"
"Actually, now that you mention it, I do," Draco said and pointed at me. "We've been together for nearly two days now."
"Really," Kevin said and chuckled. "Congratulations then," he said. "Well, you did need to move on."
"I have, so now everyone can stop whining to me about it," Draco said. "Harry here is from Virginia. Raised a Christian, devout, very serious about God and Jesus and all that and he came to live here to 'find his true self'. Isn't that beautiful, Kev?"
"I'm sure you were fast friends," Kevin scoffed.
"No," Draco smiled. "But we're together now."
"I'm happy for you," Kevin replied. "Excuse me; I've got more customers to tend to."
"OK," Draco said and finished his vegan sandwich. "See? He's very nice."
"I can see that," I replied. "Is there not a gay pride march this year?"
"What, do you want to go there?" Draco asked.
"Well, I am curious about it," I shrugged. "Unless you do not want to go to such a march? Have you ever been there before?"
"Sure, I've been there with Blaise two or three times. I'm not really fond of those marches to be honest."
"Oh, OK," I said. I avoided his eyes and munched on my sandwich. It was a pity that Draco did not want to go to such a thing, but that was alright. I did not mind if he wanted to spend the afternoon together on the sofa or something. Or perhaps he did not even want to be with me that day. Perhaps he had other plans. I should not assume that Draco would want to spend every day with me. He has his friends he might want to see or something, and he has his parents he might want to go to. I assumed too much. And when I assume too much, I often get disappointed.
After our lunch, Draco hailed a cab and told the cab driver to take us to Malfoy Inc. We left Manhattan and then Draco told me that they were located in New York City. This way I got to see some of New York after all. A tall and impressive building came into sight and the cab pulled up into the drive way. I saw a fountain and a lawn with a big board that said 'Malfoy Inc.' written in gold. The building itself was tall and had a brown beige-ish color. It looked very modern indeed. Draco opened the door for me and led me into a hall with a tall ceiling and when I looked at the ceiling, I saw a few chandeliers hanging from it. It looked gorgeous and rather palace-like. We walked up to an elevator and Draco pressed the button with the twenty on it.
Draco looked down at me and took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. He squeezed my hand gently and pressed a kiss on top of it. "Relax," he said.
"I am relaxed," I said took a deep breath. "Usually meeting the parents happens only in a serious relationship."
"And is our relationship not serious then?" Draco asked.
"Well, it is, but we have only been together for two days," I said quietly. "Is it not a bit early for me to meet your parents?"
"There's no such thing as meeting the parents too early," Draco said and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. The elevator brought us higher to floor sixteen. When we reached floor number twenty, Draco released me and the doors of the elevator slid open. We went into a long hallway with rooms on either side of the hallway. It reminded me a bit of our apartment building back in Chelsea, Manhattan. I peeked into the windows and saw people working at their desks on their computers. We approached a door and Draco knocked firmly three times on it.
"Enter," the person on the other side said. I thought the voice sounded a bit like Draco's.
Draco opened the door and I looked around at the spacious room until my eyes landed on a blond man that sat behind the desk. I nearly swallowed my tongue. Draco looked so much like his father! The resemblance between them was almost creepy. Draco looked younger, but they had the same facial features and they seemed to be just as tall from what I could see. "Hello, father," Draco said.
"Draco," Mr. Malfoy nodded. "To what do I owe this visit, son? I thought you had the day off today?" he asked and put his pen away. Apparently he had been busy with some paper work.
"I do have the day off today," Draco said. "I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is Harry Potter, my boyfriend. Harry, this is my father Lucius Malfoy."
"Nice to meet you, sir," I nodded politely at the man while he looked me over. He nodded back.
"So," he said. "When did this happen?"
"About two days ago," Draco replied and dragged me over to his father's desk. He sat down into one of the chairs in front of the desk, so I sat down as well.
"Two days ago?" Mr. Malfoy asked and raised his eyebrow in the same way that Draco does. I was beginning to feel a bit crept out to be honest. They looked so much alike, and Mr. Malfoy did not look very old.
"We got together two days ago," Draco said. "We've known each other for a few months now."
"Great," Mr. Malfoy said. "You should notify your mother, Draco."
"I will," Draco nodded. "I just wanted to introduce him to you."
"And that is all right and well, but can I speak with you in private for a moment?" he asked.
Before Draco could reply, I stood up from the chair. "I will wait outside for you, alright?" I left Mr. Malfoy's office and closed the door behind me. I could hear their voices through the door and I did not really mean to eavesdrop, but it was difficult not to listen to what Mr. Malfoy wanted to talk to Draco about. If it was about work, then I would ignore the conversation and walk away from the door.
"Draco, is he not a bit too young for you?" I heard Mr. Malfoy ask.
"He's twenty-one," Draco replied. "He's seven years younger than I am. That's not so bad, is it?"
"He's twenty-one? He looks a bit younger," Mr. Malfoy said. "Do you think it's a good idea after the whole ordeal with Mr. Zabini?"
"Father, that was four months ago. I want to move on and get on with my life. I met Harry and at first we didn't really hit it off because he is a Christian and there were some problems between us at first, but everything worked out. I want to make this work, father. I don't care if you approve or not. I care about him."
"Do you love him?"
"Don't you think that's a bit too early? I certainly care about him a lot. And I think I definitely could love him."
"Does he feel the same way?"
"Yes," Draco said. "He told me so."
"Just because he said so, that doesn't mean that it is true," Mr. Malfoy said.
"Are you calling him a liar?"
"I'm saying that you shouldn't be so trusting of people, or men, after what Mr. Zabini did. I would think that you'd be more careful around men nowadays."
"Father, I'm not a woman," Draco said. "I can look after myself and I know when it's time for me to move on. I can whine all I want about what Blaise did, but that's not going to help me. I saw him and his girlfriend at the bookstore where Harry works and I said what I wanted to say to him so I could move on. I needed to say those things to him in order for me to get some closure about it all."
"And that is alright, as long as you're sure that you're not using this young man to get over your previous relationship," Mr. Malfoy said.
"I'm not using him," Draco replied. "I genuinely like him, and he's very different from Blaise, so I think this might work out better."
"Yes, Mr. Zabini was a bit of a party animal," Mr. Malfoy snorted. "Well, bring your boyfriend back in, I think we have let him wait long enough, don't you think?"
I moved away from the door and wandered a bit down the hallway so that Draco would not get the impression that I had been eavesdropping. The door behind me opened, so I turned around and saw Draco motioning for me to come back. I sat back down into the chair next to Draco and awkwardly watched the man who looked so much like the man I loved. It really was creepy.
"So, Mr. Potter," Mr. Malfoy said. "Draco told me that you're a Christian? I can tell by your accent that you're not from New York. Where are you from then?"
"Er, Virginia," I said. I had an accent? I never noticed and no one told me about it before. I could hear that New Yorkers spoke differently, but I never noticed an accent when I spoke. I hope it did not sound stupid or something.
"Virginia," Mr. Malfoy said. "And where are your parents? Do they know that you're here?"
"Of course they know," I replied and wondered what this man wanted to know. I was not a runaway or whatever. "My parents are back in Virginia, praying for my soul and praying to God to forgive me for my sins." Draco coughed into his hand next to me, but I ignored him. I did not know if that cough was meant to cover up his amusement or to warn me not to go there.
"Ah," Mr. Malfoy said. "How interesting. I assume that you are a homosexual, considering that you're in a relationship with my son. How do you live with that, knowing what all those other people say about you? What must your God think?"
"Father," Draco said.
"God loves everyone," I said quietly to my lap.
"Does He really? Does God love sodomites? Sinners? Queers? Faggots? Your kind?"
"Yes, He does," I said even more quietly. This man was even better at intimidating people than Draco was, and that did say a lot.
"How do you know, boy?"
"I do not know."
"Fascinating," Mr. Malfoy said.
"Father, please," Draco said again.
"What do your parents think? Do they approve of your lifestyle?"
"No, sir," I answered.
"And why don't they approve then?" Mr. Malfoy asked.
"They think that homosexuals are an abomination," I said and swallowed.
"Really? And did they not teach you that homosexuals are evildoers? Surely they taught you some of their views?"
"They did, sir."
"Did you try to change?"
"Yes, sir," I nodded.
"Apparently you didn't try hard enough or it didn't work," Mr. Malfoy said in mild disdain.
"Father, enough," Draco said. "I'll call mother this afternoon to tell her and she can drop by my place if she wants to. We're going now." Draco took my hand and dragged me out of his father's office. I stared at the floor the entire time. I heard the elevator doors slide open and closed behind me.
"Your father does not like me a lot," I murmured.
"He's different," Draco said and I looked up to see him roll his gray eyes. "Are you OK?"
I shrugged a little and watched the number of floors on the little screen go down. "I want to go home," I said instead. Did Draco's father accept him at all? The way he spoke about homosexuality, I would say no, but then again, I did not know that man. I felt my insecurities rise inside me again. Draco cleared his throat and walked out of the elevator when the doors slid open. I followed him to the parking lot and waited until Draco had called a cab to take us back to the apartment building.
Draco dropped me off at my own apartment, so apparently he had other plans that afternoon. I did not want to pry, so I did not ask him anything. He left without so much as a kiss goodbye and just said, 'I'll see you later, OK?'. Was this relationship thing a good idea, I wondered? It had not been what I first expected, if I have to be honest. I expected us to get closer and that we would spend time together on the sofa watching a movie―like we had done before―or that we would go to bed and explore each other's bodies or something. I understood why he would think that I would not allow us to go further than kissing, and I might not have allowed him to touch me a few months ago, but then again; a few months ago I had not even accepted who I am. I just could not understand why Draco thought it no problem to touch me and even rub me down there when we were not together, and now that we had agreed to try a relationship, it suddenly became difficult for him. Well, Draco did say that he wanted to take it slow. I just wondered how slow he wanted to take it.
I found Draco's father a bit scary, and my conversation with the man was something I was still trying to figure out. Mr. Malfoy had made it sound like being gay was wrong, even though his own son was gay. Was the man in denial then? I did hear Draco say that he did not care if his father did not approve of our relationship. Perhaps Mr. Malfoy was still hoping that his son would meet a nice woman to settle down with and have children with. Parents often hope that their children will give their parents grandchildren and mothers tend to be very disappointed when such a thing will not happen. Perhaps his father still had hope for his twenty-eight year old son. That left me to wonder how old the man himself was, for he did not look old and there were no wrinkles marking his handsome and fair face. Both Draco and his father reminded me of elves.
Hermione came home at around five o'clock from work―I had no idea where she worked and I had not bothered to ask her about it either. "Hey, Harry," she said and shrugged her coat off. "I thought the shop closed at six?"
"I had the day off," I said and watched her put her coat over the back of the chair at the dining table. "Jimmy is at the bookstore today."
"Were you at Draco's place this morning?" she asked and reached for a clean glass in the cupboard.
"Yes, how did you know?"
"Lucky guess," she shrugged and filled her glass with water. "So," she said. "Marc told me something interesting on the phone yesterday."
"I bet," I smiled. "And before you ask, yes Draco and I are together. Or as together as we can be anyway. He said he wanted to try a relationship, and I agreed because … well you know I like him very much."
"Hmm," Hermione hummed and took a sip. "Don't you think it's a bit too soon for Draco to be stepping into a new relationship? He told me that he saw Blaise and his girlfriend at the bookstore where you work and he still felt very hurt after he saw them together," she said. "I know he likes you too, but … I'm only looking out for both of you, OK? I think it's great that you guys are together, but the timing might be a little bad."
"I understand," I said. "And I have wondered the same thing. Being with him is not what I expected."
"He's not very romantic," Hermione said and snorted a bit. "But he has his moments. I know that you have strong feelings for him. Draco is romantic in a different way, though maybe not always as obvious. In fact, he can be pretty oblivious," she added thoughtfully.
"I met his father today," I said. "He took me to the company where he works and I got to meet his father."
"Nice man, isn't he?" Hermione asked sarcastically.
"I got the feeling that he did not approve much of me or my gender to be honest. He asked strange questions. Does he accept his son's sexuality?"
"Yes, he does," Hermione nodded. "He is pretty sarcastic, just like Draco can be at times. They look a lot alike, don't they?"
I nodded. "The similarity between them kind of creeps me out, to be honest."
"It crept me out too when I first met him," Hermione said. "Draco's father doesn't look his age at all. Are you going to meet his mom as well?"
"I do not know," I replied. "Is his mother nice? Have you met her?"
"Yeah, I did meet her a few times. Lovely woman, very nice and very beautiful," Hermione said. "If you see his parents together, you'll understand why Draco looks like the way he does. Beautiful people usually produce beautiful kids, which is true in this case."
Well, I could safely say that I had not inherited my mom's features except for the eyes. My mom was a beautiful woman, and I suppose that my father could be seen as handsome, but he always looks pretty stern that shatters that illusion. I am sure that Draco's mother was beautiful. I imagined her to be an elegant and graceful woman with blond hair.
"Anyway," Hermione said. "What do you mean that being in a relationship with Draco is not what you expected?"
"Well … remember that one time when you guys had caught us on the sofa?" I averted Hermione's eyes when she nodded and smirked. I still felt a bit embarrassed that we had been caught. "We were not together then and something similar had happened before, under the influence of alcohol, mind you. And now he is not doing those things. I mean, we kiss and stuff, but it never leads to the stuff we did before we got together. It confuses me," I said.
"Hmm," Hermione hummed in thought. "Have you asked him about it?"
"Yes, he says that he does not want to cross my personal boundaries and that he thought that I would not want to go further than kissing someone who I have been with for two days. That is what he said."
"I could understand why Draco would think that, since you're raised religiously, but that doesn't make sense if you went further than kissing two times before you got together," she said and rubbed her chin.
"Does he expect things from me now that we are together?" I asked.
"Not that I know of, but then again, I don't know what Draco thinks about your relationship."
"He also said that he does not want to go too far too fast," I added. "What sex was concerned, he said. But that still does not explain why we do not do the things we did a few times before. I slept at his place last night and I felt a bit … you know …"
"What, horny?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "So I kissed him a bit and … stuff … but he asked me if I did not want to go to sleep instead of feeling him up."
"You felt Draco up?" Hermione raised her eyebrows.
"Well, I did not touch his … er … penis, but I kept my hands on his chest. And my mouth too," I said.
"And he did not respond?"
"Not really," I shrugged. "He did not respond the way a man usually would to being caressed by someone like I did."
"Perhaps he didn't like it?"
"I had not thought of that," I said and looked away. Perhaps he did not like being touched too much or something. Perhaps he did not like it if I touched him there. Perhaps I had annoyed him or something. "He seems very reluctant to be closer to me."
"Strange," Hermione said. "You should talk to him about it."
"I will," I replied and walked back to the sofa.
"I saw Seth today."
I froze on the sofa and inhaled deeply. I remembered very well how much I had hurt Seth that day, even if we had been together for a short period of time. I had no idea how he was doing or what he was doing, whether or not he was over me. I had not seen him since I walked away from him at Central Park that day. "How is he?"
"He seems to be doing well," Hermione said and sat down next to me. "He asked after you. He wondered how you were and if you still felt something for Draco."
"What did you tell him?"
"I told him that you two were together," Hermione said. "He did not seem angry or disappointed about it; he acted more like he had expected that. He told me he would like to see you again to catch up."
"He did?" A little spark of hope settled itself in my chest. Perhaps I could make things right with Seth. Maybe he wanted to be friends after all.
"Yeah," Hermione nodded. "He told me that if you wanted to meet up, that you had to call him on his cell phone."
"I will do that," I nodded and smiled. "I felt disappointed that I had lost Seth's friendship when I broke up with him. Perhaps I can make things right with him."
"Will you talk to Draco after that?"
"Yes, I will, but first I want to talk to Seth."
I had gone to my room after my conversation with Hermione. I had called Seth on his cell with my heart beating wildly in my throat. He had picked up after three rings and I found it difficult to speak to him. After some time my throat got looser and it was easier to talk to him. We agreed to meet at seven o'clock at his place. The last time I was at Seth's place, I found him in bed next to another guy. I felt very nervous when I walked to his apartment. I knocked softly on the door because I was still a bit hesitant, but I knew that Seth would not beat the living daylights out of me. That was not the way Seth was. Seth was very gentle and sweet.
Then the door opened and there stood Seth, looking exactly the same the way he looked when I last saw him. He greeted me with a smile and invited me into his apartment. I was still nervous and hesitant, but Seth did not seem bitter. He motioned for me to sit down on the sofa, so I sat down and watched Seth sit down on the other end.
"How have you been?" was the first thing Seth asked me.
"I have been doing OK," I said. "How are you?"
"I'm doing fairly well," Seth said. "I have taken up on writing―a talent people always told me I had. I hope to write a book."
"Really? That is great." I smiled hesitantly and I was glad that he did not seem angry with me. If he was angry, I would have noticed. "So you are not angry at me?" I could not help but ask.
"No, I'm not angry at you," Seth said reassuringly. "Why would I be angry? You were honest with me and it wouldn't have been fair if I told you to ignore the feelings you have for Draco. That's not fair to you and I certainly did not want to keep you with me if you had stronger feelings for someone else."
"I am glad that you are not angry," I said. "I was afraid that you would never want to see me again or something."
Seth smiled gently at me and took my hand in his. "I felt a bit sad after you told me of your feelings for Draco, but I had suspected that you felt something for him. I noticed it when he was around. You seemed to grow uncomfortable and you glanced at him more times than I could count. I just knew that there was something there. And I was right. I waited for you to tell me about it."
"Oh," I said.
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
"I feel a bit unsure about Draco," I said. "I am not sure if you want to hear it."
"You can tell me. I'm not going to get all jealous on you, if that's what you think," Seth said. "I'd like for you to be able to talk to me like a friend."
"Do you want to be friends again?" I asked hopefully.
"Yes," Seth nodded and squeezed my hand. Then he released it. "So what are you unsure about?"
"Well … we have been together for about two days now," I began. "And before that, a few things happened between us that went beyond kissing and now it is like Draco does not want to do more than kissing. It confuses me and I asked him about it. He said that he did not think that I would allow him to go further than kissing because of my religious upbringing. But we did go further than kissing before we got together and that is what confuses me the most. It looks like he does not want to touch me or something."
"I'm sure he does want to touch you, but I think he just wants to respect your feelings," Seth said.
"He said the same thing," I said. "But why did he touch me sexually before we got together then? Not to mention that it happened two times. That does not make sense. He kind of treats me as if we are friends instead of boyfriends."
"Hmm," Seth said. "Well, he did just break up with his ex. It seems logical that he would want to take things slower with you, because one; you're a Christian, thus raised with certain morals and beliefs and two; he ended a five year relationship not too long ago. I think Draco needs to get used being with someone other than Blaise. He probably just wants to take it slow. You can't expect him to get closer to you because this is new for him too."
"When you say it like that … I suppose I understand why Draco acts the way he does," I said.
"What happened to your jaw?"
"Draco hit me after I said a few things that were not very nice," I said. I decided to explain the situation further when Seth raised his eyebrows. "Hermione and a few other guys took me to this club on my birthday. It is called the Virgin. Have you heard of it?"
"Yeah, it's a pretty cool place," Seth nodded. "It's different in a good way."
"Yeah," I said and smiled because that had been exactly what I said about the club when the waiter asked me what I thought of it. "Anyway, I saw Draco kissing someone else and I did not like that, so I tried to distract myself by talking to a waiter there who appeared to be interested in me. Then the waiter had to go to the restroom and then Draco sat down next to me and asked me if I was having fun. One thing led to another and we were arguing because I felt hurt that he kissed someone else while he knew that I liked him. I accused his roommate Ginny of lusting after Draco and I said a few things that went a little too far. Then he hit me."
Seth raised his eyebrows once more. "Whoa, I never pegged Draco as a violent guy. Intimidating, but not violent."
"Well, the next morning, he came to my apartment and apologized. He said he usually is not violent, but apparently he is quicker to throw punches when he has had alcohol. We made up and decided what to do about our feelings and that is how we got together."
"A nice story to tell your kids when they ask you how you met and how you got together," Seth snorted.
"I would like to adopt a baby," I nodded. "Not now, obviously, but perhaps in a few years."
"What if Draco doesn't want kids?" Seth asked.
"That would suck," I said. Seth laughed at that.
"You wouldn't have said that a couple of weeks ago like that," he said. "It's nice to see and hear that you've gotten more outgoing."
"I do my best," I said.
"It's good to see that you're doing alright, Harry," Seth said. "I'm glad about that."
"What have you been doing? Did you find a new boyfriend or …?"
"Well, I do have my eye on someone, but nothing is happening just yet," Seth said. "You might remember him, he works at the Champion. Kevin Laytner, blond hair, pink highlights … remember him?"
"You are going out with Kevin?" I asked.
"Not going out just yet, but I did ask him to go on a date. He said yes, thankfully, so we'll see how that goes."
"I am happy for you," I said and smiled genuinely at him. "I was afraid that I had hurt you."
"Well, I didn't like it, but it wasn't like I got stabbed in my heart and turned bitter or something. We both had to move on; you're with Draco now and I'm going after Kevin. He's so cute," he sighed.
I chuckled and watched him. I was very happy that I had not hurt him too much and that he had moved on. "Do your parents know about Kevin?"
"No," Seth said and shook his head. "I imagine that my father will not tolerate the pink highlights in Kevin's hair."
"Is he a natural blond by the way, or did he dye his hair blond?"
"No, he's a natural blond," he said. "Just like Draco is however impossible that seems."
"Why does that seem impossible?"
"Because it's so light!" Seth exclaimed. "I have never seen someone with such natural light hair before. He swore to me that it was his natural hair color, but I didn't believe him."
"So what did he do?" I asked curiously.
"Well, he undid his jeans and showed me his pubic hair," Seth snorted. "It was nearly as light as the hair on his head was. I believed him then alright."
"He showed you his …?"
"Pubic hair," Seth nodded.
I raised my eyebrows and felt my cheeks heat up spontaneously. "I hope he keeps his pants on in my presence," I murmured.
"Yeah? Not ready to go that far?"
I shook my head and glanced at the TV. "I know what I said at first, but I am not ready to see him naked. And I am not going to let him see me naked either."
"OK, well, good luck with that," Seth said. "Can I get you a drink?"
"I would like a glass of water please," I answered and watched Seth get up from the sofa and walk towards the kitchen area. He brought me a glass of water and he himself drank nothing. "Thank you," I said and took the glass of water and brought it to my lips. "I was planning on speaking with Draco after I had spoken to you. I do want to talk to him about him acting a bit different."
"Yeah, you could do that," Seth shrugged.
"Why, do you think it is a bad idea if I ask him why he is acting the way he does?"
"You asked him before didn't you? He told you that he wants to respect your feelings, so why do you have to ask him again about why he's touching you less than when you weren't together? He might get annoyed or something."
"Yeah, you might be right," I said thoughtfully. "I suppose I will see how things go between us."
"I think that might be better," Seth nodded.
After an hour or two, I returned to my apartment. I felt relieved after the conversation I had with Seth. I had decided that I would not speak with Draco because I thought Seth was right; he might get annoyed or something. I could imagine feeling annoyed after my boyfriend would ask me the same question over and over. I spotted Hermione watching TV with her boyfriend, Draco's roommate's older brother. Suddenly I felt uneasy. What if Ron knew what I had said about his sister? What if Draco had told Ron in a fit of rage at that club after he hit me? Even though Draco was my boyfriend now, and I loved him, I still felt a bit afraid of him when he hit me. He did not seem hesitant to hit me in my face. I suppose it was a fear in my subconscious that kept bubbling up to the surface. I do not deal with pain very well, let alone if someone I love causes me physical pain. The spot where Draco hit me was still a bit red and swollen, but it had looked worse. I would definitely watch my words in the presence of Draco when he has had alcohol. I do not wish to get punched in the face again because I said something to upset him, but I do have to admit that my words went a little bit far. I had no right to say those things, but I was angry. Well, best not dwell on it now. What is done is done.
I did not hear anything from Draco anymore the rest of the evening, so I went to bed and went to sleep. Tomorrow I had to get up early because I had to work at the bookstore again. I thought about going to France with Draco. It sounded very romantic, since Paris is supposed to be a very romantic city and I had seen pictures of the Eiffel Tower at night and it was surely something that I would like to see in real life some time. And having a romantic picnic in a Parisian garden sounded even more romantic. But it would be very expensive I would imagine. Perhaps I could look on the internet how much a plane ticket to Paris would cost, and then at least I knew how much money I had to save for if Draco wanted to go to Paris some time. For some reason Paris seemed like the most romantic place to make love for the first time. That would be most memorable indeed. I could see it in my mind; Draco and I in a hotel room in Paris with a view on the Eiffel Tower, making love while the light of the moon shines into the bedroom … Call me sentimental and romantic, but that would be my ideal first time. I could see myself clutching Draco's back, gasping and moaning while a beautiful man like Draco would make love to me. I closed my eyes and could see Draco's body moving on top of mine, I could hear him breathe heavily, I could almost feel the heat and friction I imagined at the act, the pleasure I imagined when prepared properly. Yes, I did know about proper preparation. I am not all unaware about sex, I know a few things about it.
The reason why I know a few things about sex―or gay sex to be more specific―that is because I found a book on homosexual sex in the bookstore where I work. In the erotica section, yes. There were instructive books and I read a few very interesting things about anal penetration. For example, the receiving partner has to be properly prepared otherwise the inserting of a penis can be extremely painful and it appears that there are gay men that do not have sex because it hurts too much. I believe Seth told me something similar when we first met at church. I felt excited about the idea of having sex with Draco, but I was still apprehensive about doing it. Would Draco know about proper preparation? He did say once that his ex really liked it rough, but I would probably not be so thrilled about doing it rough. I still wondered if I could satisfy Draco in that department. Oh, why did I even wonder about it now? I was not ready for that at all, even though I wanted to get closer to Draco. I wanted to feel his arms around me at night and I wanted to feel his body against mine and I wanted to feel his warmth. I wanted to prove to myself and to other people who did not agree with my lifestyle that two men could be in a healthy, happy and loving relationship with each other. I wanted to show my parents that it was OK and not as disgusting as they always say. But most of all I wanted to prove to my mother that I am happy with another man and that this is the right choice for me.