A/N: Yaaaay new crack!verse! You guys can thank my boyfriend for this, he was trying to decipher what it was everyone hates about Ethan/musing about my interpretation of drunk!Brendan one night and came up with this idea. If I had the talent, it would be a flash video, not a story.
Also, Silver is somehow becoming my favorite character.

Lucky Quarter
Lyraeon/Lyra Kamiya

Late-night TV was a new addition to Ethan's life. He'd always gotten up early for Saturday morning cartoons, and to get going at the crack of dawn each day on his journey, so it wasn't until he'd had Blake for a roommate for a few weeks that the appeal had sunk in for him.

The upside of this was that he wasn't trying to skateboard down the stairs before anyone else was awake each morning. The downside was that he was becoming quite crass whenever Red wasn't around to impress.

On this particular morning – the term used loosely, as it was just past noon, and anyone else in the kitchen was there to get lunch – he was sitting at the table discussing the previous night's episode of some offbeat trivia show with Blake and Winnie. Silver was at the counter with his back to them, doing his damndest to ignore them and just eat his lunch. He was torn between the urge to scarf his soba to get away from the loudmouths as quickly as possible, and the one to eat it almost painfully slowly, thus delaying the afternoon of whatever lovey-dovey torture Lyra had planned for him today.

"You think that quarter bouncing thing was real?" Ethan asked, making a throwing motion that nearly knocked over his juice. "I mean, do you think it'd work?"

"We could try it," Blake chuckled, putting one hand on his girlfriend's thigh.

Winnie giggled and carefully moved his hand back to his own lap. "Ohhhh no you don't. You'll try to leave a welt if I let you do that."

Ethan rolled his eyes as the two kissed, sticking out his tongue when he heard them giggle. He stuffed two spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth before trying to speak again, and then choked when Winnie kicked him in the shin for it.

"See, that's what happens when you talk with your mouth full," she teased. "But, seriously. It wouldn't work on me anyway. I know I've spent the last two years walking all day long, but I don't actually work out or even run, and they said it has to be an athletic ass for it to work."

"You're taking all the fun out of it," Blake pouted.

The Johto boy managed to swallow and speak up before they could do anything mushy again. "Which means we can't pick Lyra, either, because she doesn't even have an ass."

Silver's elbow slammed against the counter in his hurry to facepalm.

"Well, that eliminates anyone who'd actually volunteer, and I'm not going to condone throwing quarters at random girls, so I'm out. Good luck," Blake offered Ethan with a nod, standing up and taking his dishes to the sink. Winnie followed him, winking back over her shoulder. He sat confused for a moment and then glanced back down at the table, where a single quarter was sitting in front of him. Before he could thank her she had already left the room.

'Time to finish breakfast in a hurry so I can go find a target,' he mused, returning to his gigantic bowl.

Just a few bites later, the front door slammed, and after just a pause to kick off her shoes, May made her way into the kitchen. She was clad only in her biking shorts and a sports bra, which served as the day's weather report on its own. Despite his hurry, Ethan's eyes lingered just enough to notice the slight sheen of sweat on her back as she bent over the kitchen sink to rinse her face.

"Athletic," he repeated, quietly enough for her to not hear him over her music or the running water, and he flipped the quarter between his fingers.

As she made her way over to the cupboard that held all the glasses, Ethan found himself humming dramatically. He reached up to pull his goggles over his eyes, carefully pushing his chair out to get a better angle. "Dun... dun... dundun..."

May reached up, standing on her toes to get her favorite cup from the top shelf, leaving her ass as a perfect target. Ethan grinned wickedly, pulling his arm back and then letting the coin sail with his best rock-skipping throw.

Silver's mouth fell open before his chopsticks could reach it as he realized what was going on, recognizing the drum roll Ethan was continuing with behind him. He wondered if he should run, but knew two seconds wasn't enough time to get any real head start over an angry woman.

The quarter impacted, right on target, then bounced a good halfway back across the kitchen. Ethan – still humming epically – leapt to his feet, arms extended in a "touchdown!"pose.

Silver's noodles fell back to the plate; his focus right now was on staying perfectly still, not on eating, so he remained frozen mid-bite, lip still curled in disgust.

May screamed, "What the fuck?" as she spun around, dropping her (thankfully plastic) cup as she clapped both hands over her ass. Her eyes darted around the room as she looked for the culprit.

Silver's eyes filled with pure terror as she focused on him first, and he quickly pointed toward the true offender. Thankfully her eyes jerked away from him and toward Ethan without a second thought, and his followed, morbidly curious as to what kind of a beating he was about to endure.

As though summoned by Arceus himself, or perhaps just his girlfriend's cursing, Brendan had appeared from nowhere. His fist slammed into the side of Ethan's face before he had any hope of knowing his assailant was there, and he toppled, his song halting one note before the climax.

Over the next few seconds Ethan realized he was surrounded, managed to scramble back off the floor, and promptly darted toward the back door, not quite managing to slam it again before both halves of the angry couple chased after him.

Once all their shouting had faded into the distance – the gate slammed somewhere during the chase as well – Silver carefully set down his chopsticks and climbed off his stool. Calmly he made his way to the back door, shutting it, and then headed back toward his seat.

He paused when he saw the quarter still on the floor, and couldn't help but smirk as he reached for it, adding the last note to what Ethan had been humming as he pocketed it.

From now on, this would be his lucky quarter.

A/N: A P.S./message from my editor:
"My mental picture now includes every time brendan walks into a room ethan is in, it's fist-first into ethan's head. like, neither of them even notice it happens any more, just WHAMP"
And from me: I promise I'll stop picking on Ethan for a while now! I didn't even realize I was doing it again. I'll try to come up with a few chapters where he's either not featured or has some kind of luck, I promise!