Glaceon the Critic

Regrettably

Presents

"My Immortal Chapters 3-6"

"It was either this or Too Much H2O." Glaceon said, "Roll clips."

Good the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.

"Hey!" Glaceon snapped, "Self harm is not a joke."

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.

There was a massive game show wheel in the middle of the room.

"We're gonna play a little game called 'Wheel of Nitpicking'." Glaceon sun the wheel. Landing on OOC moments.

"I'd sooner believe Ash Ketchum would win the league than Draco owning a muggle car." Glaceon said.

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"A lot of sane people wouldn't review this for a living." Glaceon said.

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice."Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car.

"How cliché of you to use the number of the beast as a license plate. I' sure people would be offended had you not written such a horrible abomination such as this." Glaceon said sarcastically, "One song I'm not allowed to use because reasons later."

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing Draco looked sad."What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on."Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said."Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"I still don't know how they got into the Wizarding World …"

Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde hair. The night went on really well, and I had a great time.

So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into the Forbidden Forest!

"For a forest dangerous enough to warrant a ban, it does a horrible job. Why would you let these people live? You're a forest filled with werewolves for Pete sake! Don't you things hate vampires?!" Glaceon said, So we move on to chapter 4."

Chapter : I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"Okay, from now on we will call Ebony Enoby. Or should I say Enooby." Glaceon chuckled.

"Booooooooo"

DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously."What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily."Ebony?" he asked."What?"

"If you're going to swear every five words, you don't have much of a vocabulary." Glaceon noted.

I leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad then suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately.

"This would be depressing if the angst was not meaningless." Glaceon snapped, "I am not the best writer out there, but I at least give my characters something to be angsty about. Heck, one of my characters lived through a fantasy version of the Holocaust. That is angst worthy. This isn't."

Glaceon sighed once more, "After a scene far too inappropriate for me to describe, we get this gem."

And then ."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"It was .Dumbledore!

"This is what I say to the writers every time the Pokémon League Conference comes around." Glaceon joked.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

"Who in all existace would give not one, but half a good review to this?" Glaceon questioned.

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

"You got two people in mostly character and you get the names mixed up. Glaceon facepawed.

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

"You know what? This makes the love story of the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy look half decent. The dialogue may be chunky, but at least this didn't happen." Glaceon groaned.

Chapter : shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!xxxThe next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

"Insert generic insult here." Glaceon sighed.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top."Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"Skip this chapter. There is nothing worth reading." Glaceon said.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice."That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned."My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled."Why?" I exclaimed."Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled."Well, I am a vampire." I confessed."Really?" he whimpered."Yeah." I sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

"Has Keldeo read this? HE thinks a fanfic about Palace Pets was a bad idea. This is literally known for its stupidity. It merits news articles for Pete Sakes." Glaceon went on.

"The dialogue is probably written by an inebriated klansman. The characters are just OCs with canon character names. Enooby is just so outlandish, it's stupid." Glaceon said, "Next time, I'm going to do the next few chapters."