PART 14

HARM AND MAC'S HOUSE
MELROSE ROAD
WILLESDEN GREEN, NW2
16 SEPTEMBER 2005
2020 ZULU

Mac awoke feeling slightly better and a little refreshed. Her initial reaction was to be embarrassed and think of some excuse to tell Harm, but she soon realized as she lay there listening to his even breathing, that he had fallen asleep too. It felt so good to have his strong arms still laced around her that she actually considered not moving at all, however her internal clock told her it was way past feeding time.

Awkwardly she slipped out of his embrace and got to her feet. She was amazed that she had failed to wake him during the process – she definitely wasn't graceful anymore that's for sure. Her only conclusion was that he obviously hadn't slept much last night either. Suddenly her heart felt heavy again. She watched her husband as he lay sleeping – even in sleep his face didn't look relaxed. She thought back to a time when she knew a completely different Harmon Rabb Jr. – a cocky, slightly arrogant fighter jock. He had been infuriating back then, but at least he had smiled more often – and she had loved him, even then, despite all the attitude.

It had been the 'Sinatra factor' as she had labelled it. She knew Sinatra was supposed to have been an ass and involved in the Mafia, but as soon as he opened his mouth to sing, she couldn't help but love the guy. It had been the same with Harm in those early years, huge ego, huge attitude, but the minute he rose up to defend a friend, to right a wrong, or simply smile at her, she'd been sucked under into the Rabb undertow that was too strong to pull out of. It had happened every time.
Now this was an older, more mature Harm. At 41, he was still drop dead gorgeous, but his ego didn't buoy him up anymore, it seemed to weigh him down instead. A lot seemed to weigh him down – he was more grounded, more compassionate – more passionate.

Since they'd gotten together, he'd started to smile again – she thought that smile had been gone forever at one point – and the smile was still to die for. Not a cocky smile anymore though, but one that radiated true affection and happiness and caring… tinged with a hint of sadness that she could never quite place, but always felt. She couldn't resist leaning down and leaving a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Then she went straight to his ear and whispered "You're the one, Harmon Rabb, Jr."

Twenty minutes later, Harm awoke slowly in a groggy fog. He always knew when he'd been in a dead sleep because his brain awoke before his face did. His body was slightly stiff from the uncomfortable position it had been left in on the couch and he couldn't quite remember where he was or how he got there, but there was a persistent smell permeating his senses and it made his stomach growl. Mac was making supper. 'Mac was making supper!?' he suddenly sat up – 'What the...? Had the earth stopped rotating on its axis or something?'

He quickly looked at his watch and realized the time. No wonder – the baby and the Marine must have rebelled and she was left with no option. He instinctively got up to help her, but then hesitated as he wondered what condition of Mac he was going to encounter. Mac's breakdown had thrown him for a gigantic loop. It had scared him, ripped open his heart, and made him feel utterly helpless. And he hated feeling helpless.

He stood at the entrance to the kitchen, leaning against the door frame and admired his wife with every fibre of his being. She was the most beautiful pregnant woman he had ever seen. He had always thought that pregnant women looked beautiful, but this pregnant woman was a whole different story – this was his Mac – his wife – and he had made her this way. His heart always soared a little with that knowledge. He and Mac had given life to a totally new human being – one that was part her and part him. Sometimes when they were just walking down the street and he caught someone admiring Mac's belly, he'd felt like grabbing them and saying "I did that!" like an excited toddler. He knew it sounded silly, but he just couldn't help it. He didn't think he'd ever been this proud in his entire life.

Mac still hadn't seen him – she was busy cutting up onions for what he could only assume was an Alfredo sauce for the pasta he saw cooking on the stove. Of course the onions were making her cry and she continually wiped the back of her hand across her face and sniffled. The sight brought all the recent events flooding back into his mind and his stomach turned again, bringing a wave of fear. What if Mac ever left him? What if she left him and took their child? What if she moved back to Washington where he couldn't see her? What if he never got to see his own child be born or what if she never let him be part of its life? Suddenly the fear was overwhelming and he nearly stumbled as he made his way out onto the back sun porch to the old fridge that was there. It had been in the house when they moved in – had to have been from the 50's, but it still worked. They had decided to move it out on to the sun porch and use it as the beer fridge – Harm still felt bad about keeping alcohol anywhere in the house, but Mac had assured him that she'd never liked beer anyway – as long as he didn't keep Vodka anywhere, she would be perfectly fine.

Harm threw the fridge door open, leaned against the frame and lay his head against the cold interior, waiting for the wave of nausea to pass. He took out two beer bottles, turned around and sat on the floor with his back against the open fridge. He pressed the bottles against either side of his face to cool himself off. He was trying to reassure himself that Mac would never do what he was thinking – they had found each other – they were going to love each other for the rest of their lives – for eternity – they'd promised… but those thoughts that had snuck out just then had left a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't ignore. He'd watched her slip away from him too many times in the past to feel that it couldn't be a reality again. He was suddenly overcome with anger - 'How can I compete with a dead man? It isn't fair!' Mic being dead made this situation impossible – he could do no wrong and Harm was stuck being the bad guy. Harm silently chastised himself. How was it that he could pull nine G's in a Tomcat without batting an eye, yet the simple idea of Mac possibly leaving him brought him to his knees?

"Harm?" Mac was overcome with concern when she saw him sitting against the fridge looking as pale as a ghost. She rushed over and put her hands to the sides of his face as he placed the bottles on the ground beside him and stared at her helplessly. "Harm, honey what's the matter?"

"It's not fair, Mac."

"What's not fair, Harm?"

"It's not fair that he can still come between us after all this time – even from beyond the grave."

Harm looked so lost that it brought tears to her eyes. "Oh Harm…" was all she could manage.

"I hate being this distant from you, Mac – I can't bear it."

"Harm, I'm right here honey."

"I don't mean physically, Mac…" He paused and bore a helpless look right into her soul.

"I know Harm, you're right." She avoided his gaze – knowing it would dissolve her to tears again if she looked into his eyes.

"Then talk to me, Mac."

Mac finally looked into his eyes and knew she needed to tell him the truth. She struggled how to begin.

Harm braced himself – unconsciously holding his breath for what he hoped wouldn't be the worst news of his life.

"The curse…" she said softly and then her voice cracked.

Harm released the breath he was holding and said quietly "Awww, Mac…" His relief was so strong that it was overwhelming, but he also felt a combination of sorrow and anger at her. Sorrow for her losing those people who were close to her, and anger for scaring the pants off of him for no reason.

"I know, Harm… I know you're going to tell me it's not reasonable…"

"You're damn right I am!"

"Well you don't have to get pissy about it."

"I'm not – I was just scared!"

"You're scared?! How do you think I feel?!"

"What were you scared about?!" he was concerned that this was quickly dissolving into an argument but he couldn't seem to lower his voice.

"I was scared that…" Mac had been so caught up in the heat of the moment that it had almost come out without her realizing it. She turned away and clamped her mouth shut.

"Ma-ac…" Harm attempted to reconcile the argument by using a much softer tone to draw out whatever she was just about to say.

Mac looked at Harm as the tears welled up again. "I was afraid the curse would come for you too…"

"Awww Mac…" Harm pulled her onto his lap and held her to his chest. He kissed her hair and searched for words to comfort her. "Mac," he said finally, "I can't promise you that nothing is going to happen to me, but I can pretty much guarantee you that there is no curse."

Mac kept the side of her face pressed against his chest, "You said it yourself Harm – 'Every man that's gotten close to me is either dead or wishes they were…"

"Mac! That's not fair! You're not allowed to use that against me." He squeezed her even harder against him. "Those were words spoken in anger – to hurt you… to try and make you feel as lousy as I was feeling… I certainly didn't mean it."

Mac wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Then why does it keep happening?"

"Well, first of all Mac – Webb doesn't count because he wasn't really dead. That only leaves three - Dalton and your Ex…and now Brumby"

"Gee... only three?"

"You're forgetting – we're even, Mac. I lost Gym, Diane and Jordan – remember? You don't see me whining about a curse."

Mac sat upright to give him grief about the 'whining' comment, but then considered his words and backed down. "Hmmm… I guess we're both pretty unlucky to be around, eh?"

Harm smiled. "You could think of it that way… or you could think of it in an entirely different way."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?"

Harm turned her and looked at her directly in the eyes. "You could think of it as fate's way of making damn sure we ended up together."

Mac stifled a small laugh "That's pretty grandiose, Harm. Do you really think fate thought it was that important for us to be together that it had to kill off six people?"

Harm's voice was barely above a whisper, "Well, even if fate didn't...I do."

Their eyes held each others' gaze for a moment, then Mac spoke. "Why were you afraid?"

"What?" Harm breathed distractedly.

"You said you were afraid too."

"Oh… yeah…" he cleared his throat and looked away briefly before returning to her gaze. "I was afraid that you regretted not marrying Brumby – that you were mad at me for crashing that night and getting in the way of your wedding…"

Mac searched his eyes, desperately trying to come up with a way to prove to him that she was still there with him – that she hadn't gone anywhere. Then she did the only thing she could possibly think of doing to convince him – she kissed him.

Harm thought he was going to explode with the emotion of the kiss. It had started out so gentle – her lips had hovered briefly just in front of his, without touching, and there had been nothing but their breath between them for an instant. Then she had touched her lips to his ever so softly. Within seconds it had become an intense expression of their feelings for one another as Mac slipped her hands behind Harm's neck and ran her hands through the short hairs at the nape of his neck – she had never told Harm this, but this had to be one of her favourite erogenous zones ever. She had never told him the fantasies that had been provoked that time he posed as a Marine Gunnery Sergeant and had to get a 'high and tight'. For an instant she wondered if she did share that with him, would he cut his hair that short again - just for her? The thought inflamed her even more and she knew that this kiss was working as Harm's hands were beginning to travel across her body – caressing her belly – which had become his new favourite erogenous zone…

They both pulled away finally, knowing it was either that or make love right there on the porch. Harm wasn't against the idea – but he knew his Marine was hungry and it was important for her to eat – besides, supper was probably still on the stove. He was happy just knowing his Mac still loved him – that she hadn't and wasn't going away.

"There. Now does that feel like there's anything between us?" Mac tried to reassure him with a sultry voice.

"Well," Harm countered sarcastically, "it actually does…" he placed both hands on her belly, "… it's about five months old and the size of a small volleyball…"

Mac looked at him with a smile and rubbed her hands along the backs of his. It felt so good when he held her belly in his hands like this. It was almost like what she'd read in an article the other day about Reiki – as if Harm's energy was emanating into her and keeping their baby healthy – even healing her insides somehow.

Harm leaned his head back against the shelf in the fridge and let out a tremendous sigh of relief. Then he looked at Mac and smiled - holding up one of the beer bottles that still lay beside him. "You mind if I have one of these?"

Mac leaned her forehead against his. "Go right ahead, Flyboy. Now let's get out of here – I'm cold and hungry and our electricity bill is going to go through the roof."

HARM AND MAC'S HOUSE
MELROSE ROAD
WILLESDEN GREEN, NW2
16 SEPTEMBER 2005
2230 ZULU

Harm looked up from the file he was reading, and closed it with silent frustration. "You find anything?"

Mac looked at him with tired eyes. "Nothing conclusive. I suppose there could be a few possibilities here – Mic definitely did have a tendency to piss people off."

Harm looked at her knowingly, "You're preaching to the choir here, Mac."

Mac smiled a tired smile. "I really couldn't determine anything for sure unless I interviewed some of these people."

"Ma-ac – we're not going to go back and interview all these people."

"I know, I know…" she stared off absent-mindedly. "I was just saying that I would have to interview them in order to get a real idea…"

Harm looked warily at Mac and didn't like the sound of the wheels turning inside of her head. "Well, why don't we finish reading through these tomorrow and see if anything obvious jumps out before we start getting any other ideas?"

"Sounds good to me. You ready for bed?"

Harm looked at her with a devious smile. "Ready for bed? Yes. But I'm also ready for something that was stolen from me last night..." He got up and pulled his wife up from the couch and wrapped his arms around her. Mac got chills as he breathed these last words into her lips before taking hold of them with his own "… the opportunity to properly welcome my wife back home."

HARM'S OFFICE
NLSO BROFF, U.S. NAVY BUILDING
JUST OFF GROSVENOR SQUARE, W1Y
19 SEPTEMBER 2005
1345 ZULU

Harm folded the file in front of him and looked up at the officer still standing at attention.

"Have a seat, Burroughs."

"Thank you, sir."

Harm and Mac had poured over these files all weekend and hadn't found any leads into the theory that Mic's accident had been a set-up. He was trying to sway Mac off of the path of wanting to re-interview all the people involved in these cases, so he decided to do a little bit more snooping in his own office.

"Once again I want to thank you again for pulling out these files for me, but I wonder if you might help me a little bit with some personal insight. If you don't mind my asking... how well did you know Commander Brumby, uh…?" Harm looked lost for words, "I'm sorry, but not having your file, I have completely forgotten what your first name is."

Burroughs laughed good-naturedly "It's Kenneth, sir – 'Kenny'"

Harm nodded his head knowingly and waived for Burroughs to answer the question.

"Yes, sir – Commander Brumby and I were… ah…. acquaintances, sir. We went up against each other a few times in court – were partnered together once…"

"Were you friends?"

"No sir, I wouldn't really call it that."

Something in this conversation was causing Harm to be suspicious. He could tell there was something Burroughs was holding back.

He talked with the officer for quite a while, trying to get an idea of what it was this man was trying not to tell him, when the intercom on his desk interrupted their conversation.

"Sir, your wife is here to see you."

Harm's heart leapt into his chest momentarily. Mac hadn't said she would be coming by today.

"Have her come in MacRae – thanks."

Harm stood up as she entered the office and grinned. "Hey." He said – I didn't know you were coming by today?"

She threw a quick glance at the officer in Harm's office and smiled sheepishly. "Thought I might be able to steal you away for a quick coffee."

"Sure – in a few minutes Mac." He indicated the Marine now standing in front of his desk. "Mac, this is Second Lieutenant Kenny Burroughs."

They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

Harm continued. "Kenny and I were just discussing Mic."

"Well, don't let me stop you."

They all sat down.

"Sir," Burroughs started uncomfortably, "I just don't know what else to say – to tell you the truth, I really didn't like the guy."

"Really?" Harm's eyebrows went up.

"No sir. I mean, I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Mic was… well he was arrogant and smarmy…"

"Smarmy?"

"Sorry, sir – I don't know how else to describe it. You know how when you meet someone and they just rub you the wrong way?"

"Hmmm…" Harm was stifling a grin so he looked down at his desk, "…yes, I believe I understand."

Mac watched the conversation with some amusement, but tried not to let it show.

"Don't get me wrong, sir – I was very upset when he died – it was all extremely sad… but, he just wasn't my type of fellow. He was always ogling after women, standing way too close to them… even with his wife in the room he would sometimes make inappropriate comments about women walking by…"

"Wife?!" both Harm and Mac reacted simultaneously.

Burroughs was slightly taken aback by Harm and Mac's reaction, but kept on. "Well yes, sir. He married about a year before his death I believe.

Harm and Mac exchanged glances.

"Kenny, is Mic's wife still in town?"

"No, sir." Burroughs replied. Harm could almost detect a note of sadness in his voice. "She went back to Cork after the… accident. That was her hometown and I think she'd had quite enough… of the… uh, London scene after that, sir."

Harm was sure he detected something in Kenny's tone of voice, something that sounded familiar… was it jealousy? Then suddenly, out of the blue, it all came together. He finally understood and it made his stomach twist with empathy.

"Kenny?"

"Yes, sir?"

"You struck Commander Brumby, didn't you?"

"Yes sir! I sure as hell, God damn did." He seemed relieved to finally get it off his chest.

Again Harm dropped his head downward toward his desk to stifle another grin. "And that's why you were reduced in rank," he continued as he looked back up.

"Right again, sir." Burroughs was beginning to sweat; feeling like 'double jeopardy' wasn't going to be a factor if his new CO wanted to punish him for this. "I'm sorry, sir. I realize it was a juvenile reaction and totally unbecoming of an officer of the Royal Marines..."

Harm put his hand up to stop him. "There's no need to explain." He paused for a moment. "How long have you been reduced in rank, Kenny?"

"Almost 3 years, sir."

"What?! I take it your former CO was not as understanding about this matter as I am?"

"Aye, sir. He was Royal Australian Navy…"

This time Harm couldn't help stifling the laughter. Even Mac had to cover her mouth to hide the smile. "Understood Kenny – say no more." Harm paused thoughtfully for a moment before he continued. "Listen, before I let you go I want to ask you one last question." Harm looked knowingly at the other officer and spoke with intense seriousness, "Do you think Mic's death was a suicide?"

Kenneth Burroughs looked hesitantly back and forth between his CO and Mac before he spoke. "I honestly can't say, sir. I mean, I wouldn't have ever imagined it… but you know, he pretty much railroaded Siobhan… that was his wife… into marrying him. He never gave her an opportunity to say no, or if she did, he wouldn't listen to her. He just kept pushing – saying all the right things, everything she wanted to hear - until she agreed. Then, once they were married, it was like she wasn't enough for him anymore. He seemed to be all about the chase, getting the girl away from whomever else may have been interested in her, and once he had won then the game was over for him." He stopped and then thought for a moment before he continued. "I suppose it's possible that it just caught up with him all of a sudden… I really don't know, sir."

Harm nodded his head and dismissed the officer, thanking him for his candour and quickly sneaking a peak at Mac to make sure she had held up through it alright.

Second Lieutenant Burroughs shook Mac's hand again on the way out. "It was an honour to meet you ma'am… and a hearty congratulations as well."

Mac blushed and rubbed her belly. "Thanks, Kenny" she replied with grin. "It was very nice to meet you too."

Before Mac could sit back down, Harm had bellowed for Lance Corporal MacRae to enter the office.

"MacRae, up to what rank do I have the authority to promote without asking higher?"

"Up to Captain/Lieutenant (Navy), sir."

"Perfect. Do up some promotion paperwork on Second Lieutenant Burroughs ASAP."

MacRae stifled a small grin. "Aye, sir!"

"You're going to promote the man because he punched Mic Brumby, Harm?" Mac sarcastically accused her husband as the office door closed.

"Seems like as good a reason as any to me, Mac" he mused in mock innocence back at her with a grin. When Mac just stared at him with one eyebrow raised, Harm continued defensively "Awww c'mon, Mac! He's been busted to 'second-lewie' now for three years! How much more punishment does the guy need?!"

Mac just shook her head and smiled. She then took a deep breath, stood and walked to the window.

Harm observed her with concern from his chair for a moment in his typical position – elbow on the armrest and chin resting in the crook between his forefinger and thumb.

Finally Mac spoke. "I don't want to look into this any further, Harm."

When Harm didn't respond right away, she continued. "I'm getting the feeling that this wasn't a set up like with Jordan, and whether it was an accident or… if it wasn't…" She suddenly turned to face Harm "I just suddenly don't want to know anymore. Is that wrong?"

Harm quickly stood and approached Mac, taking her by her upper arms and searching her eyes.

Before he could speak, Mac was continuing "… I mean, I know that we've always been about the pursuit of truth… it's just that… in this case… I'm not sure that knowing the truth is going to make anyone involved feel any better…"

Harm brought his lips to her eyes to stifle the tears that were threatening to spill there. "Shhhh… I know – I know exactly what you're saying. It's OK, Mac." He pulled her into a hug and they just held each other for a long moment as Harm ran his hand through her hair in comfort. Finally he broke the silence "You still want to take me out for a coffee?"

"Damn right I do." She smiled back at him then reached up for a kiss. A kiss that was meant to be short and sweet, but took on new proportions within seconds. Mac wondered how the fire between them never seemed to die, but to actually become more intense as time went on, and even as they went through crisis after crisis – their bond only became stronger. She pulled back from Harm reluctantly as his hand snuck up her side, under her maternity blouse, making a beeline for her breast. "Harm," she breathed heavily "as suitable as I think your desk might be for the purpose, we probably shouldn't be doing this in your office."

Harm refused to let her go as he looked back and forth between the desk and her – appraising the situation. Suddenly he sighed dejectedly and smiled. "Still the one to always come up with a dispassionate plan I see Colonel…"

Mac grinned seductively "Well, how about I come up with a passionate plan for tonight then...to make it up to you?"

Harm raised an eyebrow "You're on, Marine". They grinned mischievously at each other as they shook hands.

Petty Officer Elaine Summers watched longingly from across the room as her CO and his wife exited his office and walked towards the elevators. She watched as his hand rested gently on his wife's back every so slightly, guiding her gently, until he would realize his indiscretion and return his hand back to his side. She sighed as she counted a full three times he did this before reaching the elevators. 'He can't help himself from touching her.' She thought. 'He doesn't even realize he's doing it.'

She wanted to hate Colonel Rabb, but she just couldn't. She seemed like such a nice person and she sure did pregnancy beautifully. Briefly, Summers wondered if she could have ever been the one for her handsome CO if they had met earlier. She'd heard that these two had only married recently. She felt a twinge of regret at missed opportunities, but then resolved herself that it was never to be – firstly, she couldn't put a coherent sentence together in front of this man – he must think of her as some sort of flake – and secondly, just watching these two interact, it was obvious they were meant for each other.

She watched as the couple waited for the elevator. The Captain bent down and whispered something briefly in his wife's ear. Elaine shook her head in wonder as she observed Colonel Rabb's reaction to her husband's remark. Her whole face turned into a smile – a smile filled with love and wonder, and her eyes seemed to suddenly light from within as they met his. The Captain looked down at her with equal love and smiled the most knee-melting half smile she had ever seen. Why couldn't someone love her like that? Captain Rabb quietly reached out and gave his wife's hand a quick squeeze just as the elevator door opened and they disappeared inside. God, they looked so happy. She wondered again why she couldn't find anyone to love that much, but resigned herself that for now, she was perfectly happy to secretly lust for her CO from afar. Oh who was she kidding - this wasn't just lust, she was in love. 'Who wouldn't be in love with this man?' she thought.

TBC