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Chapter 14

I awaken in the morning with my head in a thick fog. Somewhere in the depths of my subconscious, I sense an arm wrapped around my waist, but it takes a while for this fact to come to the forefront of my brain.

As I slowly open my eyes, I come to the realization that my head is resting on someone's chest and not a pillow. I abruptly sit up, untangling myself from Malfoy's arms.

Shit.

I watch him slowly open his eyes. I guess this wasn't a dream after all.

His eyes eventually gain their focus and land on mine. He raises his eyebrows and says with a voice full of incredulity, as if reading my mind, "So we can rule out the whole 'this-was-all-a-dream' scenario, I guess."

I give him a look of disbelief. Yeah. I guess so.

As I slowly come to my senses, my heart starts to race. What the hell was I thinking? What the bloody hell was he thinking?

I feel the heat rising to my cheeks and blurt out the first words I can coherently form.

"This is not good. This is not good." I stand up and begin pacing rather frantically in front of the mantle. I see him watching me as I spin around to walk in front of the fireplace again, a look of amusement on his face mixed with slight apprehension.

"You've got to go, Malfoy," I say sharply, coming to a halt a few feet in front of him, sudden anger setting in.

He rolls his eyes and I snap at him, resuming my pacing in the process. "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have stayed here." I feel myself projecting my anger onto him rather than admitting this is my own fault. "What were you thinking?!" I shout, more to myself than to him.

He looks surprised, but keeps his cool as he stands up, raising his hands in surrender. "Hey. I tried to leave last night."

But I don't want to hear it. I look away from him, ignoring his perfectly tousled hair and gleaming eyes. "I'm engaged. Engaged! You should not be here right now! What am I supposed to say to Perry?" I snap my eyes back to his and see his eyes darken at the mention of my fiancé. I say with slight desperation, "You should've left last night!"

His eyes flash dangerously and I'm reminded of our years of arguments and bickering. "You asked me to stay," he points out sharply, not helping matters.

I glare at him with a look full of loathing. "Well, you should've said no!" I yell, outraged.

He shoots me a scowl before replying darkly, "Like I said, I tried."

I feel myself breathing heavily, and even though I know he's right, I can't resist the urge to argue. "Well you should have tried harder!"

"My god, Weasley!" he shouts, taking me by surprise. I stop pacing and stare at him, eyes wide. "Stop acting like this is entirely my fault! You asked me to dinner on Wednesday. You agreed to go out with me last night. You invited me into your apartment and you asked me to stay with you! What did you expect me to do?! You knew how I felt about you when you invited me here!"

The silence rings out around us and I don't know what to say. I know he's right, but I suddenly can't think straight.

You knew how I felt about you.

How does he feel about me?

I catch my breath as I stare at my feet. After a minute or so, I see him turn to leave.

"And how exactly is it that you feel about me?" I ask quietly, stopping him in his tracks. He turns back to face me, eyes searching mine.

Just say it. Say it and I'm yours.

I feel the tears welling up behind my eyes as I see the sadness behind his.

"It doesn't even matter," he says, bitterness wound around every word. He runs a hand through his platinum blonde hair, defeated. "Like you said," he says with a hard look, "you're engaged."

With that, he abruptly turns and walks out the door, closing it quietly behind him. I wait for him to turn around and come back to me, hoping against all hope that he'll run in and pull me back into his arms.

But then I hear the soft pop indicating his disappearance.

I collapse on the couch and immediately burst into tears.

Several hours later, I haven't moved from my spot on the sofa. I can still smell the faint scent of Malfoy's shampoo engrained into the fabric of the cushions.

What a mess, I think to myself for perhaps the hundredth time since I let him walk out the front door.

I mean really, what was I expecting when I kissed him? A happy ending? I already decided that Perry is my happy ending.

But happy endings can change, right?

I'm pulled out of my conflicted trance by a knock at the door. My heart immediately begins to race as I sit up, hoping to see a shock of blonde hair and silver eyes waiting for me.

Unfortunately, I feel myself deflate when I see Lily's shining eyes smiling at me.

"Come in, then," I say as I lean back into the cushions, searching for a trace of Malfoy's familiar scent.

"How goes it, Rosey?" Lily calls happily as she takes a seat in the overstuffed chair next to me, eyeing my disheveled appearance. "Did you just get up or something?"

Ugh. Already with the questions.

"I fell asleep on the couch last night. Been loafing around all day," I say quickly, thinking on my feet. "I can shower if you want to go grab some food or something."

She rolls her eyes at me. "I guess you forgot. Dinner at Grandma's tonight. I was popping in to see if you wanted to go over now. I think Hu and your parents are already there."

I guess I did totally forget. Terrific. I wonder how long I can avoid telling Lily what happened last night?

"Right," I say, standing up and leaving his scent behind. "I'm gonna shower, so I can meet you over there in a little."

"Oh nonsense!" she says, clapping her hands together and standing up. "I'll hang out while you get ready. I want to touch up my makeup anyways." I put on a happy face and agree, but dread the lies by omission that I'm about to lay on thick.

As I get ready, I ask Lily about Khal to keep her from asking about my life. I tune out most of her ramblings and instead add in mmhmms and oohs whenever the moment calls.

"He took me flying at the pitch last night," she goes on, gushing as I dry my hair with my wand. "My god, you wouldn't believe how amazing it was! I wish he could come tonight, but he's got some team thing he's doing." I nod my head. "Anyways, I told him it was fine since Perry can't make it either."

I cringe slightly at the mention of Perry's name and realize what dangerous territory I'm entering as Lily continues. "How's the week without Perry been, anyways? Did you do anything fun? Hopefully you're not just moping around by yourself all day every day."

I put on a fake smile. "Oh, you know. I've just been hanging out. Went out with some people after work a couple of days."

She beams at me, none the wiser. "Glad to see you can survive without Perry cooking all of your meals," she jabs at me. I give her an overdramatic glare and she laughs.

"Alright," I say, looking in the mirror and feeling satisfied, "I'm ready to go."

As we make our way downstairs and out to the grassy patch next to my stoop, I can't help wondering if Malfoy will come around looking for me while I'm gone.

Which is exactly why I need to get out of here.

After saying a round of hellos to everyone, Lily and I head to the backyard to soak up some sun. I can't help feeling like the beautiful whether is mocking me with its sunny disposition as I sit miserably in its warm glow at the table in the yard.

I close my eyes and try to forget about the turmoil that is my life, but I'm pulled out of my reverie by Lily's voice.

"Hey, Hu!" she calls loudly across the yard. I see my brother walking toward us and barely have time to come to a horrified realization before he says, "Hey, Lils," and turns to me.

"How was your big night out last night, Rosey?" he asks slyly. I give him a warning look, but his smirk widens.

"You went out last night?" Lily asks, excitement in her voice. "Where to? Anywhere good?"

Hugo laughs loudly as I shoot daggers at him with my eyes. "She didn't tell you?" he asks our cousin as she gives him a confused look. "Our dear Rose-a-lee was having quite the fun night at Nimbus yesterday evening." His sing-song tone makes me want to hex him.

"Ooh, I love it there!" Lily exclaims as Hugo grins like a moron. I don't even try to stop him, because clearly this is inevitable. "The music there is great. So fun for dancing!" she continues. Hugo takes this as his cue.

"Speaking of dancing, Rose and Malfoy looked like they were having a lot of fun on the dance floor. Right, Rose?" I glare at him as Lily shrieks.

"WHAT?!"

When I don't respond, Hugo continues. "Ah, yes. They looked quite cozy." He arrogantly pulls a chair out from under the table a takes a seat, a self-satisfied grin on his face.

Lily throws her arms into the air, red hair flying like an angry flame. "How could you not tell me this?!" she shouts, shooting a half-excited, half-exasperated glare my way. "You went out with Malfoy? As in Scorpius-body-carved-by-Greek-gods-Malfoy?!"

I finally answer before Hugo can say anything to make this situation more unpleasant. "Yes, no need to get your knickers in a twist."

"How the hell did this come about?!" she shouts with an incredulous look as Hugo laughs obnoxiously.

"Well," I start out rather sheepishly, "Malfoy, um, bought me dinner Wednesday. So I owed him. So I agreed to go out last night and buy him dinner in return."

Lily stares at me in disbelief and then lets out a scream. "Okay, I have so many questions. Like when did you two become frien-"

Hugo interrupts her and I look at him with apprehension. "I just have one question. Where did you and Malfoy go when El and I broke up your cozy little date night? Back to his place?" He laughs loudly again and I feel my face heat up despite my best efforts to remain emotionless.

My family stares at me with astonishment. "No way…" Hugo says quietly, reading me like a book. "I wasn't serious."

I sigh and roughly push the hair from my face. "I didn't go back to his place," I say with scorn. "But that guess wasn't far from the truth." When they both stare at me in silence, I continue. "He walked me home and then I, well, invited him in. Lapse in judgement, apparently."

"Ha!" Hugo laughs quietly. "Middle of the night and you invite a bloke into your flat. Hmm. Don't you think that sends the wrong signals?"

Before I can answer, Lily chimes in. "What are you gonna tell Perry? Or I guess you don't really have to. I mean you're allowed to hang out with friends, if that's what you two are. Nothing to be guilty about, really…"

She trails off and I decide that the truth will come out sooner or later, so I might as well get it over.

"Well," I say, voiced laced with bitterness, "I'd probably feel a lot less guilty if he didn't kiss me."

"HE WHAT?" Lily yells, slamming her hands on the table.

"Okay, no actually. That was a lie. I kissed him."

I watch nervously as my brother and cousin process what I've said. Finally, Lily breaks the stunned silence.

"Well," she starts tentatively. "How was it?"

Hugo's face breaks into a smirk and I feel my cheeks heat up. I bite the bullet and respond with resignation. "Apparently it was pretty good," I begin, pausing before deciding to suck it up and tell them the full story, "considering he was still there when I woke up this morning."

"Holy fu-"

But Lily cuts Hu off. "Did you sleep together?!"

I manage to roll my eyes. "I mean we slept together. But it was strictly sleep." They stare at me and for some reason, I launch into an admission of guilt. "It was my fault really," I say quickly. "I convinced him to stay. He tried to leave. He tried to be a good guy. But I'm an asshole and I knew I could get him to stay if I wanted, and so I did. And when we woke up this morning, I flipped out on him and blamed him and before he walked out, he told me that I knew how he felt about me when I invited him over. And I know it's true. I'm a shitty person and I don't know what I'm going to do about it now. So, since you pricks got the story out of me, do you have any useful advice?"

They exchange a look and sit in thoughtful silence for a while, before Lily says with realization, "So that's why you looked like hell when I showed up at your place. You were moping." I glare at her smug face.

"Brilliant observation," I say dryly.

"So I guess the important thing to ask yourself," says Hugo thoughtfully, "is whether you were moping because you feel guilty or because you're into with Malfoy and messed it up."

They both watch me carefully and I put my face in my hands. "Well, I'll feel even guiltier if I say it's a little of both," I say to my feet.

"You know," a voice says from behind me. I turn around and see Eleanor Zabini leaning against the doorway. I scowl. "I know you hate me and probably don't trust me, so take this for what it's worth," she continues to me, an unusual note of sincerity in her voice. "He really is in love with you. I mean, I dunno if he's told you that, and he certainly never told me, but anyone with eyes can see it. I think he's always thought you'd be the first person he'd admit it to and if he never got the chance, he'd take it to the grave."

I don't know what to say, so I don't respond. Eleanor walks over to Hugo and sits on the arm of his chair.

"And I don't know much about this Perry character," she says, her usual annoying tone back and more obnoxious than ever, "but he seems like a bloody blank piece of paper. Most boring person on the planet." I open my mouth to protest, but she stops me as she raises her hand. I glare, but let her finish. "I'm just saying that I know who I'd choose."

Before I get a chance to tell her that her opinion means nothing to me, Lily chimes in with, "I agree."

I shoot her a glare for taking Eleanor's side. We sit in tense silence for a minute before Hugo speaks up.

"Hell, even I'd choose Malfoy over just about anyone, male or female!"

We all stare at him blankly before the three of us burst into laughter. "Cool your jets, Hu," I say as I catch my breath. "Or do you want me to back off Malfoy and leave him for you?"

"Yeah, Hu. I'm willing to give you up if you'd be happier with Scorpius." I can't help cracking up again at Eleanor's comment.

"I wish James and Al were here to hear that one," Lily quips. "They'd never let you live it down."

Hugo smirks widely. "Yeah, right. They'd totally agree with me."

We laugh for another minute before Lily changes the subject back to my issues, sobering the tone of the conversation.

"Anyways, point is that Malfoy seems like a catch and if you pass him up, then I'll forever think you're crazy," she says with a knowing look.

I sigh heavily as I stare at my hands. "I know, I know. I just have to take some time to think. I can't just give up my relationship for someone who, until quite recently, I totally hated! I mean, Perry is really a nice guy-"

"Yeah, right," Eleanor snaps and I shoot her a glare.

"Is nice really even what you want?" Lily asks before I can tell Eleanor off. I think of the day Malfoy asked me almost the exact same question.

As the rest of the family starts to pour out the back door, I take a minute to think to myself. I may have had a lot to drink last night, but I'm sober now. So what is it that I want now that my head is clear?

Maybe I don't want nice.

Maybe I don't want Perry at all anymore.

Maybe it's time to face the facts and consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I want Scorpius Malfoy.

A/N: Pretty quick update this time around! Hope you guys enjoyed. Of course Rose had to mess up things with Malfoy... but she is obviously realizing she needs to fix that. Now she just has to actually swallow her pride and admit that Scorp is the guy for her!

The next update will probably be a week and a half to two weeks away. I will be away from my computer for a while, so I won't be able to update. Hopefully all of my other quick updates make up for this slightly lengthier wait! :)

As always, thanks to everyone for the favorites/follows/reviews! I think there will be 17 chapters, maybe 18 total, so I hope you all continue reading to the end! Several people have asked if there will be a companion piece from Scorp's POV for this story, but right now I don't have any plans to write one. I prefer to write conflicted characters, but he already knows what he wants :)

Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter! Hopefully you aren't too frustrated with Rose ;)